Wedding Bridesmaid drama!

[Shoopy]

Date: 10/2/2008 2:11:27 PM
Author: CaliCushion
Purrfect--I didn''t give the bridesmaids rules. I meant to say that the bridesmaids knew from the beginning that I was having a small wedding and that room was tight, and I didn''t plan on inviting anyone with dates if they weren''t in a relationship. Everyone agreed that that was something I had to do in order to keep the guest list down. No one objected.

I would understand B being upset if 3 months before the wedding she fell madly in love with a new guy and I told her she couldn''t bring him. However, she has changed her mind and decided that not only does she want to be able to bring a date, but anyone she chooses.

Well you know here''s the thing. If you are giving her an invite for herself only and you say "B, if you are dating someone at the time let me know and I''ll reserve a seat for him" then you''re right she shouldn''t just bring a friend. She was invited as a single with exceptions made if she does date someone.

But if you send her an invite "and guest" then she really does have the right to bring anyone she wants whether that person is someone she''s dating, her mom, a friend, a coworker, etc.

So I guess what I would do (if you want to prevent a stranger from coming to the wedding) is give her a single invite and then tell her that if she''s dating someone you''ll be happy to reserve a seat. Would that be an ok solution?

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 10/2/2008 2:33:11 PM
Author: fieryred33143

Date: 10/2/2008 2:11:27 PM

Author: CaliCushion

Purrfect--I didn''t give the bridesmaids rules. I meant to say that the bridesmaids knew from the beginning that I was having a small wedding and that room was tight, and I didn''t plan on inviting anyone with dates if they weren''t in a relationship. Everyone agreed that that was something I had to do in order to keep the guest list down. No one objected.


I would understand B being upset if 3 months before the wedding she fell madly in love with a new guy and I told her she couldn''t bring him. However, she has changed her mind and decided that not only does she want to be able to bring a date, but anyone she chooses.

Well you know here''s the thing. If you are giving her an invite for herself only and you say ''B, if you are dating someone at the time let me know and I''ll reserve a seat for him'' then you''re right she shouldn''t just bring a friend. She was invited as a single with exceptions made if she does date someone.


But if you send her an invite ''and guest'' then she really does have the right to bring anyone she wants whether that person is someone she''s dating, her mom, a friend, a coworker, etc.


So I guess what I would do (if you want to prevent a stranger from coming to the wedding) is give her a single invite and then tell her that if she''s dating someone you''ll be happy to reserve a seat. Would that be an ok solution?

I don''t think that''s a solution unfortunately because that is what she proposed to said BM and the BM insisted she be allowed to bring a friend if she wasn''t dating. If BM would agree, that of course would be a great solution though.

 

[diamondfan]

I think threatening someone that you will not be coming when you agreed to something prior is blackmail. She now is not happy with what she agreed to, but it is not right to be acting this way. If that was not acceptable to her she should have told Cali then.

 

[disneybride]

I can see things from both points of view, however I would not be comfortable going to a wedding where there was going to be slow dancing and a lot of unfamiliar people without a date. You are not going to be able to be by her side all night long and there is no guarantee she will meet anyone she likes there or click with your family and friends. It''s no fun to sit out on slow dances and kind of awkward to sit alone all night

 

[meresal]

I've been to friends weddings by myself and it's not a big deal, at least to me. You know someone and you ride together. I knew people there, which this girl does, and you make the most of it, because the day is all about the bride, not the guest. Honestly, there were hardly any (if any...) slow dance songs played at receptions that I have been to in the last year.

IMHO, you shouldn't have said she could bring a "new" bf if she is dating someone. That is just leading her to push the envelope. Everyone gets a date or they don't. You're the bride, you're allowed to make rules... It's your money. But when it comes to the Bridal Party, the rule should be for all of them and not exceptions for some. However, you made an exception and she agreed to it, but now wants to go back on the agreement becuase she wants a date. Not cool. Sorry, a few of my friends and I talked about this issue last night and I'm still a bit irritated by the whole situation.

Just because you ask a BM to be in your wedding doesn't mean they have to accept. I've turned it down before and asked if I could just be an attendant. They are agreeing to pay those costs, and I don't believe you should have to feel like you owe them something. You have a limit on your guest list and that's that. I'm in a wedding in Cozumel next month and I'm going by myself. Who cares. The wedding is about my best friend, and that's why I'm there.