Boyfriend becoming finicky at ring browsing...

[MermaidKelly]

My boyfriend and I have had talks about marriage, engagement, rings, etc. but today we were at the mall and casually went through a couple jewelry stores, and he seemed pretty disinterested.

I don't get it, last time (a couple weeks ago) he hovered over the counters with me, interested in what I liked and didn't like. Today he just kinda stood there while I looked.

I know it's been my idea to look but still I don't get what's with the change in behavior? I asked him later and he said he 'can't be interested in rings every time' and that he's sorry cause he didn't know I was actually trying to show him anything (was curious about stones down the band).. but I don't know. I just want to figure out how to keep hinting for a proposal without being too pushy!

Help please! (Oh and he's not proposing right now...so that's not the reason {unfortunately!})

 

[4ever]

Any chance at all he''s already got one? Maybe picked one you liked from your last shopping trip?

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I don''t think most guys are going to be into doing that repeatedly. And I don''t think you really need to be giving any more proposal hints! He probably gets it. If you are talking about marriage, then I''d find a couple of rings online that you really like and print them out so that he knows what you like, or else be sure to tell a friend or sister that he might ask for advice. But I''d back off and let him propose when he''s ready.

 

[susied]

I agree with both comments above - maybe he already got you a ring and is hoping you don''t find one you like better

 

[HollyS]

"I just want to figure out how to keep hinting for a proposal without being too pushy!"


You''ve answered your own question about WHY he''s backing away. Men do know women, in spite of the media''s insistence that they don''t have a clue. You know - - all the books about how men are different, don''t understand us, etc.? Tommy rot. They know us.

He already knows how important this is to you. He knows he''s not ready to propose. He knows that way in the back of your mind, even if you aren''t acknowledging it, you think that when the two of you find THE RING, the proposal will naturally follow. And he doesn''t want that pressure.

You''ve had THE TALK. He knows how you feel, you know how he feels. If he knows you would like to have final approval over the future ring, then keep looking, studying, examining by yourself. Then you can hand him a photo of, a link to, or tell him where to go to get . . . THE RING. When he''s ready.

 

[Indylady]

Date: 8/3/2009 8:51:18 AM
Author: HollyS
''I just want to figure out how to keep hinting for a proposal without being too pushy!''




You''ve answered your own question about WHY he''s backing away. Men do know women, in spite of the media''s insistence that they don''t have a clue. You know - - all the books about how men are different, don''t understand us, etc.? Tommy rot. They know us.


He already knows how important this is to you. He knows he''s not ready to propose. He knows that way in the back of your mind, even if you aren''t acknowledging it, you think that when the two of you find THE RING, the proposal will naturally follow. And he doesn''t want that pressure.


You''ve had THE TALK. He knows how you feel, you know how he feels. If he knows you would like to have final approval over the future ring, then keep looking, studying, examining by yourself. Then you can hand him a photo of, a link to, or tell him where to go to get . . . THE RING. When he''s ready.

+1. I think that he''ll come to you when the time comes.

 

[MermaidKelly]

Thanks to those who have responded so far.

Yea... he''s not ready to propose yet...but I wish he would be! (Oh and I don''t really want say on THE RING- I just wanted him to have a vague idea of what I like.) I guess I should just back off, but then he''ll prolly wait like 2 more years to propose! ...sigh... I wish I didn''t want to get engaged so bad, but I guess that''s why I joined this group in the first place.

 

[charbie]

my FI wouldn''t even look for rings with me.

actually, he didn''t even get interested in the WB.

Maybe your FFI just wasn''t in the mood. It''ll come at the right time. But I sympathize.

 

[Dannielle]

Date: 8/3/2009 1:40:23 PM
Author: szh07

Date: 8/3/2009 8:51:18 AM
Author: HollyS
''I just want to figure out how to keep hinting for a proposal without being too pushy!''




You''ve answered your own question about WHY he''s backing away. Men do know women, in spite of the media''s insistence that they don''t have a clue. You know - - all the books about how men are different, don''t understand us, etc.? Tommy rot. They know us.


He already knows how important this is to you. He knows he''s not ready to propose. He knows that way in the back of your mind, even if you aren''t acknowledging it, you think that when the two of you find THE RING, the proposal will naturally follow. And he doesn''t want that pressure.


You''ve had THE TALK. He knows how you feel, you know how he feels. If he knows you would like to have final approval over the future ring, then keep looking, studying, examining by yourself. Then you can hand him a photo of, a link to, or tell him where to go to get . . . THE RING. When he''s ready.

+1. I think that he''ll come to you when the time comes.

+2

 

[LaraOnline]

All you really need is the genuine proposal.
You can sort the ring.
Perhaps it''s not romantic, but it''s how plenty of Aussie girls seem to do it... myself included *ahem*

 

[omieluv]

Date: 8/3/2009 8:24:43 AM
Author: diamondseeker2006
I don''t think most guys are going to be into doing that repeatedly. And I don''t think you really need to be giving any more proposal hints!

Totally agree. When FI and I talked about getting engaged, we went to a few stores and he was totally into it. A month or so later, I wanted to go back and look and he was not interested. So rather than ruin the day over it, I just let it go and emailed him examples of ring styles, which I think he was ok with.

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 8/4/2009 7:07:22 AM
Author: Dannielle

Date: 8/3/2009 1:40:23 PM
Author: szh07

Date: 8/3/2009 8:51:18 AM
Author: HollyS
'I just want to figure out how to keep hinting for a proposal without being too pushy!'




You've answered your own question about WHY he's backing away. Men do know women, in spite of the media's insistence that they don't have a clue. You know - - all the books about how men are different, don't understand us, etc.? Tommy rot. They know us.


He already knows how important this is to you. He knows he's not ready to propose. He knows that way in the back of your mind, even if you aren't acknowledging it, you think that when the two of you find THE RING, the proposal will naturally follow. And he doesn't want that pressure.


You've had THE TALK. He knows how you feel, you know how he feels. If he knows you would like to have final approval over the future ring, then keep looking, studying, examining by yourself. Then you can hand him a photo of, a link to, or tell him where to go to get . . . THE RING. When he's ready.

+1. I think that he'll come to you when the time comes.

+2

+3. The ring/proposal aren't going to come any faster because you're dropping hints. He gets it, it sounds like he's made it pretty clear to you that he's not ready. You get to decide how long you're willing to wait, but taking him ring shopping every few weeks isn't going to change a thing, except perhaps how irritated he becomes with conversations about and shopping for rings.

 

[ckrickett]

Date: 8/4/2009 7:50:16 AM
Author: LaraOnline
All you really need is the genuine proposal.

You can sort the ring.

Perhaps it''s not romantic, but it''s how plenty of Aussie girls seem to do it... myself included *ahem*

that''s how I''m doing it.(I think) He could propose with a post it that said IOU and I would be thrilled, because what I really truly want is the proposal.

your man knows what you want, and he isn''t ready. hate to break it to you but if he isn''t ready then you guys aren''t ready. If he truly is the man you want to spend eternity with well eternity is eternity with or without a ring, be patient it will come.

I will throw you some dust tho, just in case!
****dust*****

 

[Cartwheel]

I also agree with omieluv and diamondseeker. I was successful only once in getting my FI to a jewelry store. He flat out told me that I just needed to send him an email with my ideas and that it was up to him to find it. He did a pretty good job, but I could never get him to go look at rings with me. I know the frustration you''re feeling.

Be patient. It''ll happen.

 

[MermaidKelly]

Thanks to you guys with the support and positive comments.

I had a long talk with bf and feel a lot better. The hard part is to just keep being paitent. I may be looking at a 6 month or even a year or two wait and I find that so hard!