Booking venues

[laughwithme]

Are any other LIWs with an estimated wedding date worried about not getting the venues you want because your guy is waiting to propose?

We are planning a June 2010 wedding and he is totally on-board with that.

"Back in the day," when I was expecting an 18+month proposal, I was super excited about being able to guarantee all my first-choice venues since the avg. engagement in one year. Well, now, June 2010 is just over 14 months away...

...anyway, one of my very top-choice reception venues is booked until Fall 2010. So scratch that place. (I even asked B about booking it before being engaged and he literally laughed at that idea.)

Last night, I was on the blog of my future photog (she is phenomonal and cheap and I will book her probably within two weeks of getting engaged) and she said she is already having some 2010 dates booked and she''s totally booked for 2009.

Thank goodness the church lets you book only 12 mos. in advance, so as long as B proposes one year in advance, I can get that booked.

I know it''s a totally crazy thing to be worried about - I mean, this is about marriage, not just the wedding - but I can''t help but stress when I start to see various venues/vendors get crossed off the "potential" list because I''m (still) waiting.

B''s reply is, "well if we want the vendor bad enough, we just move our date back." I just pout and say "I want the date and the vendor".

Can anyone relate?

 

[SailorsSweet<3]

hey lwm! Im sorry no one has been able to relate to your situation yet. I remember you mentioning the same concern on other threads the past couple months. I''m sorry your dream venue has booked up already - best advice I can give you is to either


A) keep looking! I''ve stopped myself from looking because I dont want to regret what I''ve chosen and reserved but believe you me I''d be able to come up with different venues/themes a million times over if I were able to have 10 weddings hehe. Where are you located roughly? Are you set on one type of wedding or are you open to anything? Traditional/transitional/contemporary? Think outside of the box. Look for place that people wouldnt assume could be booked for wedding venues - you might find something extraordinarily unique and loved by all guests that attend because of its unique location and the way you chose to use it for your wedding! It will be harder though since you dont know what day you will be getting at the church yet - right? You need to wait for that in order to check dates at venues dont you? Or are you sure the church is available on the day you want?

B)Talk to your SO and tell him that wedding planning in todays culture is very time sensitive. Theres no standard for engagement length and theres no standard for planning before or after the engagement. Because of this the most popular vendors and venues tend to book up early. The couples who want the longer engagement have the advantage over those who want the shorter. If youre content on small ceremonies and receptions your engagement length is indiffernt but planning a larger wedding is made more difficult with the amount of time thats shaved off the engagement. He has to be understanding towards this. If you two are both set on your June 2010 wedding you need to dicuss this and compromise on something else. Perhaps, if youre not set on that date, you can move it back further?


I know its hard. I hope some other people can give you their opinions/experience. I feel like this is a legitimate LIW concern. Let us know what your SO says if you talk to him, ok?

 

[gwendolyn]

Sorry I can''t really relate to your situation since we''ll most likely be having a small wedding at a non-traditional venue, but I feel your frustration.

 

[SailorsSweet<3]

::bump::

Someone else has to be worried about this?!?! No one else is planning on a summer 2010 wedding?? Those dates will be nearly a year away in a couple months... come on ladies! Help this stressing LIW out!

Maybe some of the BWW have advise for you? Has anyone whos planned a larger wedding in under a year picked up some good tips or tricks - have any suggestions??

 

[ladypirate]

LOL--I just brought this up to K the other day. He apparently didn''t think about the fact that some places start booking up over a year in advance. On the other hand, he gave me permission to start doing some enquiring to find out when places start taking reservations, so I''m happy.

 

[DiamondsforDee]

Well I''m not a LIW anymore, but I''ll share. FI and I decided Christmas 2007 that we would get engaged sometime in winter 2008 and then married May or June 2010. We are both from places where weddings book easily 18 months- 2 years out. We live in a place where most engagements seem to be under 1 year. FI started panicking in July 2008 that we would not get our perfect venue and church if we did not book soon, so we started looking in July before we got engaged. We ended up getting engaged in October and signed our venue contract about 1 week later. We did not plan on waiting until we were engaged to book, it just took us that long to find the right place.

Talk to your SO about how far in advance venues book up. He probably has no idea. I was lucky that FI went crazy and assumed we had to book that far in advance even though I told him otherwise, but it did mean that we got our dream venue. GL!

 

[laughwithme]

Thanks for the bump, ladies! Sometimes I can''t decide if I''m overreacting about this, or if he is being too chill.

Basically, I am a bit more of a planner than your average woman! I have my life/financial goals planned out for the next six years in a spreadsheet - literally! B has been very...stubborn...when it comes to planning before the engagement. I showed him a sample invitation the other day which he said he liked, and that was a lot of progress compared to what I normally get! He is so adamant about only planning once it happens.

Sailorsweet, I can''t quite decide what I want in terms of contemporary/traditional, etc. I THOUGHT I wanted something bright and summery and relaxed but getting feedback from B''s mom and my best friend is making me re-consider...they are talking about the pros of a more formal, ballroom type wedding and now I can''t decide. The church cannot be booked more than a year in advance so I''m not worried about that, I will call the lady at 12:01 am and leave a voicemail on the exact day to ensure I get it! And maybe I was overreacting about the photog, I just want her SO bad!

Everything in my life has always worked out perfectly and looking back, I always understand why it was the way it was. I know my wedding, and all the planning involved, will be the same way. I just wish he would do it already!

 

[sammyj]

Date: 3/9/2009 12:40:42 PM
Author: laughwithme
Thanks for the bump, ladies! Sometimes I can''t decide if I''m overreacting about this, or if he is being too chill.

Basically, I am a bit more of a planner than your average woman! I have my life/financial goals planned out for the next six years in a spreadsheet - literally! B has been very...stubborn...when it comes to planning before the engagement. I showed him a sample invitation the other day which he said he liked, and that was a lot of progress compared to what I normally get! He is so adamant about only planning once it happens.

Sailorsweet, I can''t quite decide what I want in terms of contemporary/traditional, etc. I THOUGHT I wanted something bright and summery and relaxed but getting feedback from B''s mom and my best friend is making me re-consider...they are talking about the pros of a more formal, ballroom type wedding and now I can''t decide. The church cannot be booked more than a year in advance so I''m not worried about that, I will call the lady at 12:01 am and leave a voicemail on the exact day to ensure I get it! And maybe I was overreacting about the photog, I just want her SO bad!

Everything in my life has always worked out perfectly and looking back, I always understand why it was the way it was. I know my wedding, and all the planning involved, will be the same way. I just wish he would do it already!

lwm, I just found this thread now, and the more I read along the more nervous I get about booking our choice venue, photog, etc. I''m also a big planner (although not really with a budget, just with everything else in life!) so I can relate with those feelings that you have. We are also planning for a June 2010 and since we just got engaged 1.5 weeks ago, I feel almost silly planning this far in advance (although it really isn''t silly at all).

You did however, mention that you''re not sure what kind of wedding you want to have, so maybe it''s best to hold off on the venue, invitations, decor, etc. One of my biggest worries is that I''ll get my planning done really early and 6 months from now I may find new inspirations and want to change my mind but be stuck with my original ideas.

With your dream photog, I would just follow her blog and I''ve seen some photog websites that have a calendar to show their current bookings, so you could follow this as well. I''ll keep my fingers crossed for you!

 

[Dreamgirl]

I can totally relate. We have a dream site that is perfect for us and I inquired once to find out how far in advance they book. I have a specific month and day in mind (not so much the year) so hopefully it will all work out. I used to worry about it but now I put it out of my mind because I''m not even engaged yet. It just isn''t worth my time to worry about now. I''ll worry about it later...

What will be will be.....

 

[BlueSki231]

yea i know what you mean...

i wanted to get married some time in 2010.. hadn''t decided the month or anything yet - just wanted it to be spring/summer 2010.

and i wanted to be engaged for at least 18 months..
sooo there goes my 2010 wedding dreams. cause i''m STILL waiting for a proposal!

i really haven''t looked at availability at the venue - i can''t bring myself to do it without being engaged yet. but i think it comes down to priority. what is more important to you - the wedding date or the venue?

i think for me the venue is more important. I will wait an extra year or two just to be married at this place!

as for SO, he doesn''t seem to concerned about the date or hurrying his butt up and proposing!! ..at this rate we''ll probably be getting married in 2020

 

[ladypirate]

I was baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.

I emailed one of the venues I really like this morning to ask them some questions about how early they book & whatnot.

OK, I guess it wasn''t THAT bad, since he said that I could start asking around. I just feel naughty for doing some preplanning.

 

[caribqueen]

I am also hoping for a Spring/Summer 2010 wedding and hope to get engaged inside of several weeks. I know I'm getting close to my deadlines for booking venues, but I think this is one of those things that I can't control. I choose to be optimistic about it and know that it will work out in the end the way it's supposed to be. I think there are so many other things to worry about these days, like not having a job, that this one I think I'll just deal with accordingly when the time comes.

My BF has his reasons for not proposing yet and I do think they're just a logistical/financial that has taken him this long, so I personally could not fathom asking him to take away from the moment he's trying to create. If yours is open to discussing then, yeah you should open that communication with him. Otherwise, I say you need not stress yourself about something that is beyond your control. You will get married and that's what's important.

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 3/9/2009 3:52:30 PM
Author: ladypirate
I was baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.

I emailed one of the venues I really like this morning to ask them some questions about how early they book & whatnot.

OK, I guess it wasn''t THAT bad, since he said that I could start asking around. I just feel naughty for doing some preplanning.

lol as I said: I did that before myself......I even asked about the weather during the months I''m interested in!

Now I know.

 

[laughwithme]

lady pirate, you are so NOT bad!

I am probably about to get a rep as a CRAZY woman but I have spent the last six months emailing venues and getting rates, availability, etc...

I have this spreadsheet with them all listed and it''s AMAZING how much time I have spent crossing some off and coming down to this list of 12 or so...my original list started with like 30+! I simply don''t see how women can do it in a year - I understand how things can be reserved in that time, but not researched. Kudos to power brides!

I think the whole "2010 is so far away" is an easy trap to fall into - but thinking about it, my best friend was engaged 16 months. Her engagement FLEW by - and it hit me last week, omg, if I got engaged today, it would still be shorter than that - yikes! Basically, this is all coming really fast and I''m tempted to email vendors every week and ask if anything else in June 2010 got booked

But I have been staying away. Even if that means not having a summer wedding - I am trying to be flexible and accept the possibility of a fall wedding too. I never thought it would come to this - I always thought I would get comments from family/friends about a long engagement, and suddenly I''m thinking, this isn''t long ENOUGH to get the hot spots in my city.

I just need to relax and know that if something is booked, maybe that is a sign that it wasn''t meant to be a part of my wedding day anyway.

 

[somegirl932]

I totally feel [some of] your pain laughwithme... I''m definitely a big "plan way, way, way in advance" kind of person...

We''re not planning to get married until Jan 2012, but even though it''s winter, I want lots of time to plan and reserve things in advance, as I''ll probably be doing it long distance...

I maaaaybe sort of gave my boyfriend a deadline of summer 2010 to propose... (but he first told me he was planning to do it by the end of this year, so it was less of a demand and more of a, "well, if things don''t go as expected, can we definitely try for this then, pleeeease?")

But yea. Can you ask if you could start actually looking at places or putting down deposits or anything?