Body dysmorphia?

[Circe]

Anybody else ever completely startled by what their bodies are like, as opposed to what they think their bodies are like? And is anybody else befuddled by how and, perhaps more importantly, why?

For years and years growing up, I thought I was sorta pudgy, because I would try on clothes - at stores, in my friends closets, whatever - and, past a certain point, the zipper just wouldn't budge. Then I went lingerie shopping with a friend, and she glared at me critically, and said, "Honey, have you ever been properly fitted for a bra?"

See, I thought I was a 34B. I was actually sorta scared to get measured, for fear that it would now be officially recorded that my body had changed since I bought my first bra in my teens. Well, it had. Turned out I was a 32D. My friend (having heard me wail about my weight) triumphantly exclaimed, "See! With those measurements, you can't be fat."

And then I had a panic attack, complete with being unable to breathe. It was like my whole self-image flipped.

Well, that was 5 years ago. Since then, I've I gained some weight, and, I started rollerblading for an hour each day a couple of weeks ago ... but I haven't seen a weight change. I'm not dieting, just working out, and I'm sort of hoping that even if the numbers on the scale don't change, my fat-to-muscle ratio will. So I bought a measuring tape, to see where my starting point was.

38-28-37. Hourglass city. I'm Joan Frikkin' Holloway! And yet, I persistently think of myself as ... well, not unattractive (she said modestly), but definitely not as conventionally attractive. In point of fact, it feels braggy and wrong just typing that. Self-hate, thy name is the marketing of femininity. And that's a mouthful.

I used the word "fat" in this post, and I just want to clarify something about it: I am a big body acceptance proponent. I hate how "fat," as an accurate descriptor, is now a vilification: like you can't be bigger and gorgeous, too, like "fat" is the worst thing in the world. I internalized that attitude back in the day, despite knowing a lot of hot women with more curves rather than less, and used it to hate on myself, if not others. These days, I think I'm okay with my size (the big reason I want to loose weight is so I can continue swapping clothes with my best friend, who wears the same size as me, but with the distribution of a model), but I realize talking about weight can feel judgy and/or triggery, and I just wanted to address it off the bat. After all, that sort of thing lies at the root of the problem ....

What do you guys think? If anybody else ever deals with similar issues, what do you think is behind it, and how do you combat it?

 

[Arkteia]

I do not have it now, but when I was 18, I started eating only one half of everything what was on my plate. I was 5"8' and weighed 125 lbs, size B cups. I wanted to be like my friend - we looked like twins, only she was 5'8" and weighed 118 lbs. She was not anorexic, just had thin bones. And she had size A cups, which I thought was more attractive.
It all stopped when we grew apart (which, predictably, happened soon) but for a while I was bordering on being "underweight".
I think each girl goes through this period of extreme dissatisfaction with her looks. They just do not have a firm sensation of their identities. Something like looking inside yourself and seeing a person with a blank face - you do not know who you are. Then you look at your body...
That is why choosing volunteering or working in a helper role (a counselor, a nurse, a doctor, medecins sans frontiers, Red Cross) helps so much. You get a face.

 

[Iowa Lizzy]

I'm sorry. I think I over-shared.

Edited to delete my post.

 

[lknvrb4]

I have issues with this. I look down at myself and feel a little chubby in a few spots and when I complain my dh thinks I am nuts. He says I have poor self image. I say when Im trying on clothes in stores the mirrors don't lie, they show everything. Im 5'6 and 128 for reference. I do work hard to stay thin but after having three kids not everything looks like it used too. What's odd is when I see pictures of myself I think I look little, its seeing myself in the mirror or looking down that I doubt myself. Seems a little nutty I know.

 

[Circe]

I'm sorry. I think I over-shared.

Edited to delete my post.

Dude, did you see my tl:dr OP? I don't know if oversharing is possible in comparison ... but then again, I don't seem to have the TMI filter in general. Whatever it was, I hope it's okay.

 

[rhbgirl24]

Absolutely! I have a pretty much hourglass figure but a little smaller on top than bottom. I have big hips and butt, well.... no one but me says big, but not small by any means. So I'm a B cup with a full booty. I'm still not comfortable with that. Would love to be a little bigger on top and a little smaller on bottom.

My DH loves it, so I guess I can't complain! right now I just want to tone up and drop a few lbs to feel better about myself.

 

[Miss Sparkly]

I had that happen last weekend when shopping with a friend. I've been through so much in my life, and sadly that included stress eating, that breaking into the happiness area again has given me a real sense of self. I am also understanding why Buddhists have so many levels and am eager to explore the religion more. Anyway, I feel like I'm a size 10 even though I'm really a 20. Made me sad to see myself in the mirror So I'm off to join Curves now that we live less then a mile away from them I love curves and can't wait (I'm doing after my dad's labor day visit)

 

[jaysonsmom]

I definitely have some form of body dysmorphia. While most of my friends and family describe me as athletic or slender (they don't see me naked), all I see is a big-boned girl with a melting waistline. I think it's due to being a little overweight in my college years, and also havine gained around 60lbs from each of my 2 pregnancies (though I lost those lbs each time). I now refuse to change in front of my husband. Lights out policy must be adhered during more intimate moments, and this post has made me realize that I may need some sort of therapy!

 

[princesss]

I'm only now able to see my body with even a little clarity - for the most part I still feel about 6 sizes larger than I am, but I'm also accepting that my body is shaped the way it's shaped and I'm not going to change that. But it was a bit of a shock when I was in a store the other day and I asked the sales girl to grab me a pair of pants, and she said, "This one fits a little differently than the one you have on, and the fabric is a little different, so I just brought you both sizes," and handed me a 6 and an 8. When I moved down here my work pants were 12s, and he's this girl giving me a 6 with the expectation that it will fit (okay, it didn't - not quite. But it was close!). I guess I didn't stop seeing myself that way. I got frustrated clothes shopping because I kept going back to my old sizes and they looked horrible and I couldn't figure out what the heck was going on.

 

[elrohwen]

I have had this problem, but in a different way from most girls I know.

I have always imagined myself skinnier than I am. As a kid I was skinny - I was always very tall and grew very fast, so I stayed very very slim. I never cared about my weight or even considered it all through high school and while I was far from the skinniest girl in school, I can't say I cared or noticed - I always thought of myself as very slim. Before going to college I lost about 10lbs (not on purpose, I just had a job where I was on my feet and didn't eat much) and looked awesome - best weight I've been at. I think it was at that point that I realized I had never been quite as skinny as I thought I was most of my teen years - I was a pretty average size 8. The fact that I could lose 10lbs and look really good (and not underweight) meant that I hadn't really been that slim after all.

As I've aged, I sometimes don't notice when I've gained weight and tend to think of myself as slim, until one day I look in the mirror and think "Oh man, I've gained 10lbs!" I've become much more aware of what my weight really is, which helps me be more aware of my eating and habits, though I do tend to slip back into the thinking - "Oh, I'm slim, so I can have an extra piece of pizza because I'll always be slim."

 

[choro72]

I haven't looked at myself in a mirror neck down since March. DH always tells me how great I look and I appreciate it. I possibly look different from how I feel. I feel like I have no waist and thighs the size of an oak tree. I'm too afraid to look in the mirror and find out that it's true.

 

[doodle]

I think most women probably have some kind of body dysmorphia because we're fed such conflicting ideas regarding size. On the one hand, you've got the typical 5'9" 110 pound model everywhere, but on the other hand, the word "fat" and anything along those lines is so stigmatized that if you actually DO need to lose weight and say so to a few of your girlfriends, you can pretty much bank on the fact that they'll immediately chime in unison, "OH MY GOD, you are sooooo not fat!!!" This actually happened to me a while back. I'm about 80 pounds overweight right now (pauses to self-woot at being able to say "80" instead of the "100" it was just a couple of weeks ago. Thanks, Jillian Michaels!), but when I told my girlfriends, "I'm going to start working out. I'm tired of being obese," all of my friends with the exception of one immediately piped up to tell me I'm lovely as I am and don't need to lose an ounce because I'm not fat. Thanks girls, but actually I do! The irony is that I'd been sitting there listening to a table full of women whose weight falls perfectly into the healthy range for their height and age tear themselves apart over this or that imperfection for the past hour. No wonder we're all confused!

As for my personal dysmorphia, it morphs. Sometimes, I still feel like the size I was at my healthiest weight until I see a picture and am shocked. Other times, I'll see a photo of myself and think, "Wow, I look fantastic. I thought I was so much bigger than that!" It's also extremely noticeable for me that I have no comprehension of clothing sizing. My friend left a dress over here recently, and I tried it on totally convinced there was no way it'd fit because she's a lot smaller than I am. The dress fit perfectly. I plan on holding it hostage until she gives up and lets me keep it.

 

[iwannaprettyone]

I know I do! I have always thought of myself as chunky at 5'8" and 143lbs. Maybe I am, heck I don't even know anymore.

 

[Iowa Lizzy]

I'm sorry. I think I over-shared.

Edited to delete my post.

Dude, did you see my tl:dr OP? I don't know if oversharing is possible in comparison ... but then again, I don't seem to have the TMI filter in general. Whatever it was, I hope it's okay.

Hi. Sorry I deleted my post. It was so weird, but last night when I saw this thread, I had just finished looking up local plastic surgeons.

I know I have body dysmorphia. I decided to spend a summer not eating at age 20, I got down to 97 pounds (I'm 5'5") and was wearing my bikini from the 8th grade. Everyone still tells me how scary thin I was. To me, I'd never looked better.

Out of five people in my immediate family (Mom, Dad, two sisters and myself), only one person hasn't had some sort of cosmetic procedure done.

Sometimes I wish I could see myself the way others say they do. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to have a pity party over here. Just thought I'd explain my hesitation to post. What I had written out last night came after a couple glasses of wine and was much more personal.

 

[Circe]

Hi. Sorry I deleted my post. It was so weird, but last night when I saw this thread, I had just finished looking up local plastic surgeons.

I know I have body dysmorphia. I decided to spend a summer not eating at age 20, I got down to 97 pounds (I'm 5'5") and was wearing my bikini from the 8th grade. Everyone still tells me how scary thin I was. To me, I'd never looked better.

Out of five people in my immediate family (Mom, Dad, two sisters and myself), only one person hasn't had some sort of cosmetic procedure done.

Sometimes I wish I could see myself the way others say they do. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to have a pity party over here. Just thought I'd explain my hesitation to post. What I had written out last night came after a couple glasses of wine and was much more personal.

I don't see it as a pity party at all ... I see it as being representative of a near-epidemic of low self-esteem, all encouraged by media conglomerates and institutionalized misogyny. I mean, just look at all these posts - you're far from being alone.

Given my build, I can't imagine getting down to that weight (you and I are the same height, TG). But I do remember getting down to 119 when I was 24. In order to do so, I basically lived on vodka and popcorn, and I remember how proud I felt of myself. But thinking back? Man, I wasted a lot of energy that I could have used on other things getting that way. But it wasn't sustainable, and, worse yet, it wasn't inherently valuable. I didn't look any better: I just looked more like some abstract notion of Everywoman, assuming you file a value of "generically hot" for "every." Emphasis on "generic," which given my personal aesthetic ... isn't.

Now, I'm much more abstractly okay with drawing a line on what size I am: I will put X effort into staying small enough to shop with my best friend. But if it meant significantly cutting down on my pleasures ... I don't know. Rollerblading isn't exactly onerous, so I can keep that up indefinitely (or until it starts snowing), but I don't know if I'd want to do something I hated, like a Jazzercise class, just for the privilege of fitting a different dress size. I definitely wouldn't go under the knife for it, though that's just me - I have nothing against plastic surgery, I just feel like it's a big risk to take.

I guess what I keep wondering is how the hell our body images get so skewed. This is sort of a general post as well as a response to TG. In some of these comments, I'm picking up on dissatisfaction with the body, or what some critics call self-hate (though that phrasing usually seems a bit melodramatic to me). In others, it's more like the abstract sense that we ought to be dissatisfied with our bodies, even though we really aren't. Is that the new norm for the ladies?

 

[partgypsy]

Female-wise I think I must be an odd duck. Don't think I look like a model, but don't think I look bad either, I just don't think about it that much either way. Even my husband has said I'm more like a typical guy in that I don't have hangups about my body. The closet correlation is that if I'm physically active my mood improves and I feel better about myself in general.

I guess my biggest hangup was/is with my facial skin. My face used to break out all the time in highschool and I still get blemishes even though I'm in my 40's (not fair ). I think I used up an entire life's worth of excessive preoccupation on that and don't have any left for the rest of my body.

 

[Pandora II]

Yes - and in different ways.

I'm 5ft 10" and currently weigh 125lbs which makes me underweight. Size 4 (US size) jeans hang off me and size 2 are all for shorter people over here. I actually quite hate how I look at the moment. My husband tells me I look great...

However once I get past 140lbs I feel HUGE although I rationally know it isn't true.

Most of the time I just think about other things and don't worry about my looks - but my apartment block has a mirrored lift which is a total PITA! I struggled with an eating disorder in my teens and so I have to keep it clear in my mind that my feelings are most likely irrational and that it really doesn't matter what weight I am (although I was worried when I hit 205lbs when I went in to have my daughter that I'd never have knees again).

The saddest thing for me is that so many people waste the years when they could be enjoying their youth worrying about bits sticking out too much and in the wrong places. Heck, once you're 90 EVERYTHING will be in the wrong place and so why not have some happy memories of the days when you were a goddess... confidence and how you hold yourself make a massive difference to every size and shape.

 

[Haven]

Did any of you ladies ever go to sleepover camp? I ask because I think that's a big part of what gave me a positive self-image, especially a positive body image. We slept in a huge tent with 12 to 14 girls, spent the summer doing things that made us stronger both physically and mentally, and yes, we showered in a giant shower room with no curtains. You just can't have body issues at sleepover camp, because they'll crowd out all of the fun and ruin what could be the best times of your life.

Anyway . . .

I think I'm an average-looking person, in general, and I think I look pretty when I put some time into my hair and makeup. I'm taller than many women at 5'10", and I have learned to love my height with time, and now I really capitalize on it by wearing super long pants and high heels. I have some features on my face that I hated as a child, like my clown lips and my turned up nose, but now I'm really at a place where I can see beauty in every face I see, including my own. I'm 160 lbs right now, a size 8 to 10, and to be honest I fluctuate between a size 6 and a 10 over time. I don't love my arms, as I have had BINGO arms for a long time, and I used to hate wearing shorts because I thought I had thick legs. I have a small waist and narrow hips, but a large chest. I could lament these proportions and yearn for an hourglass figure, but instead I adore the fact that my narrow hips look really awesome in high-waisted pants that are fitted through the thigh and then flare out to a wide legged bottom.

Just over this last year I've really changed and come into a place where I feel absolutely comfortable in my own skin, and it feels really good. The new school year has been on for two weeks now, and I've been happily teaching in sleeveless tops that I never would have worn to teach two years ago. And guess what? I'm so much more comfortable now, because I don't get overheated, and I don't worry about how my arms look. I think they look just fine. I don't stop into the bathroom to look in any mirrors during the day, which I used to do when I taught high school just a short year ago.

I'm not sure what happened. Maybe it's because I quit my job a year ago and focused on pursuing a position that would ignite my passion. Maybe there is some zen process that happened to make me so comfortable with myself, now that I know I can make things happen for myself, and that I deserve those things. I've always been a really happy person, and I am even happier lately. I have let go of a lot of things that once clouded my days, like all those hangups I used to have about what's "proper" and expected, and I find myself feeling beautiful at times, even. Not because of the way I look, but because I feel so good inside that it's impossible to think that it isn't somehow affecting my exterior, as well.

 

[OUpearlgirl]

I honestly feel like the lower half of my body does not fit in with the top half. I'm busty for my frame (32D) and I have a tiny waist (24ish inches) but I have a big ole booty! My hips measure more like 38/39. I sometimes get dressed and can't stand how ANYTHING looks on me. My top is a 2/4 and my bottom is a size 6/8 so I just think my proportions are off. It also makes shopping really hard. Forget the idea of wearing jeans...

One thing that I have discovered that helped me a lot, is when looking in a full length mirror I need to back up. When I get too close I can see every flaw and everything seems blown up. If I back away about 5 feet I feel much better about the way I look. And let's face it, that's about the closest most strangers get to you!

 

[les12]

This post came at just the right time, I've been thinking about this a lot lately. In the last year or so I've put on a bit of weight. I used to be teeny-tiny (around 105) and at the time, I still found problems with my body. I'm sure I was very much underweight then.

Recently, I got a tape measure, and a scale (neither of which I've had for a while) and it was very eye-opening for me. I always knew I was smaller up top, but I had no idea how big my bottom half was!! Especially in comparison. I've always been small, so I think I was in denial, wearing the wrong size in bottoms and it made me look/feel "chubby" even though I'm really not.

I've also been working on my diet, just portion control and watching what I eat, tracking calories etc. It's definitely helped!

For reference, I'm 5'4", 120lbs. My measurements however are 32-27-37. So, a pear But this is after weighing about 128lbs about a month ago. So I feel like now I'm really aware of my body shape and what looks good on me now. Better late than never!

 

[GliderPoss]

I don't think I have a image problem but because I'm short/petite everyone instantly assumes I'm skinny or underweight which I don't think is correct. My BMI is within the healthy range and personally I feel I could tone up a bit (have started going to the gym) but everyone absolutely howls me down if I even mention weight/body issues!?! It's interesting because I know I was slim and very fit at school but now I'm definitely no longer fit so I can't just eat that whole pizza like I used to! I have a pear shape body so gotta keep an eye on that expanding bum! I guess the moral is it's what YOU feel comfortable as NOT what everyone else SEES you as.

 

[DivaDiamond007]

I know I have body image issues. When I got married in 2005 I was 100lbs. At 5'0" that is a normal, healthy weight and I thought I looked great. I never really thought about my weight or body size/shape until after I had my son in 2008. I was about 115lbs when I got pregnant with him and gained 30 pounds. I lost all of that weight, but the shape of my body was not the same. My whole bottom half was much bigger. Then, in 2009 I was diagnosed with DVT (blood clot) and was unable to walk normally for months. I put on about 10lbs, putting me at 125lbs, which to me, is fat, fat, fat. Especially at only 5 feet tall. I started exercising (bought a treadmill) and eating a healthier diet but didn't lose any weight. I am now 18 weeks pregnant with my second child so I've increased my calories appropriately and have cut back on exercise.

I know that I am not obese by any means, but I do not want to be fat. As I woman I know I am judged on my appearance, and that includes my weight and body shape. Realistically I know that I will probably never see 100lbs on the scale again, but in my head that is my personal "ideal" weight. It is ridiculous. And sad. I think my thighs are far too big and my butt is too close to resting on the backs of my thighs and I know I have bingo arms. With this pregnancy I've already put on weight in my face so I don't even feel pretty on most days because I feel like people are staring at my double chin and not my baby bump. Ugh.

I've never gone to extremes to lose weight nor have I gone on any crazy diets because I was always so thin and I loved it. I could eat whatever I wanted and not have to worry about it. Now I feel like I look at food and gain weight. My goal after this pregnancy and recovery period is to lose the pregnancy weight and get back down to at least 115, which is still healthy, but not unreasonable. I know that it will be a lot of work especially because I have no self control with food.

 

[Lauren8211]

Did any of you ladies ever go to sleepover camp? I ask because I think that's a big part of what gave me a positive self-image, especially a positive body image. We slept in a huge tent with 12 to 14 girls, spent the summer doing things that made us stronger both physically and mentally, and yes, we showered in a giant shower room with no curtains. You just can't have body issues at sleepover camp, because they'll crowd out all of the fun and ruin what could be the best times of your life.

Anyway . . .

I think I'm an average-looking person, in general, and I think I look pretty when I put some time into my hair and makeup. I'm taller than many women at 5'10", and I have learned to love my height with time, and now I really capitalize on it by wearing super long pants and high heels. I have some features on my face that I hated as a child, like my clown lips and my turned up nose, but now I'm really at a place where I can see beauty in every face I see, including my own. I'm 160 lbs right now, a size 8 to 10, and to be honest I fluctuate between a size 6 and a 10 over time. I don't love my arms, as I have had BINGO arms for a long time, and I used to hate wearing shorts because I thought I had thick legs. I have a small waist and narrow hips, but a large chest. I could lament these proportions and yearn for an hourglass figure, but instead I adore the fact that my narrow hips look really awesome in high-waisted pants that are fitted through the thigh and then flare out to a wide legged bottom.

Just over this last year I've really changed and come into a place where I feel absolutely comfortable in my own skin, and it feels really good. The new school year has been on for two weeks now, and I've been happily teaching in sleeveless tops that I never would have worn to teach two years ago. And guess what? I'm so much more comfortable now, because I don't get overheated, and I don't worry about how my arms look. I think they look just fine. I don't stop into the bathroom to look in any mirrors during the day, which I used to do when I taught high school just a short year ago.

I'm not sure what happened. Maybe it's because I quit my job a year ago and focused on pursuing a position that would ignite my passion. Maybe there is some zen process that happened to make me so comfortable with myself, now that I know I can make things happen for myself, and that I deserve those things. I've always been a really happy person, and I am even happier lately. I have let go of a lot of things that once clouded my days, like all those hangups I used to have about what's "proper" and expected, and I find myself feeling beautiful at times, even. Not because of the way I look, but because I feel so good inside that it's impossible to think that it isn't somehow affecting my exterior, as well.

Haven I swear its only the Jewish kids who get sent away to camp! I tell people about how we took group showers, and my non camp going friends are so shocked that we did that! It was totally normal to us!

Anywho...

I've always hated my body. I have no idea whether or not I'm huge, but I feel huge. I sometimes can't go out because I hate the way I look so much. I've broken down in tears SO many times while getting dressed, that my DH has literally had to take mirrors away from me because it messes me up so badly. I wish there was an easy way to reverse that thinking, but its been my thought process for my entire life.

 

[Haven]

elle--I know, right? Camp was awesome, and I still miss it. I think The Haven is my way of going to camp for my entire life. Now I just have to get that started.

And, I've seen pictures of you and I think you're beautiful. And not at all huge. (Not that there would be anything wrong with that.) And I'm not just saying that because I want to make you feel better, I'm saying it because it's true. Sometimes I think we are unable to see ourselves for what we are, physically or otherwise, and I think there's some value in having someone else tell you how they see you, especially when it is dramatically different from your self-perception.

There are so many times that I'm out with my girlfriends and they will look just absolutely stunning to me, but I don't say anything because, well, I just don't. Maybe I should do more of that, because maybe they can't see it for themselves.

 

[packrat]

I'm another shorty who used to be really small. All muscle, little bit of fat, and it just was naturally how I was. I was teased constantly about being short, my skin was bad, my chest was small (AA's), so now matter how great the rest of me looked, I just felt ugly deep down.

I look at myself now, and compare to what I looked like years ago, and want to cry. In fact did have some moments in the bathroom looking at myself before getting in the shower a few weeks ago. I don't even look like the same person. My husband said to me once, "Remember when we dated the first time and you had a 6 pack?" Yep, I do, thanks for the reminder. A woman I worked w/and I were in a wedding together years ago-she mentioned at work one day she found the pictures while going thru old albums "I had to look twice to make sure that was really you! You were f-ing HOT back then!" Again, thanks for the reminder.

That girl is still in here..somewhere. She's been kicking me in the rear and I've lost 15# so far, and depending on my body fat percentage, (I don't go by BMI) I'd like to lose another 15 or so, maybe more/less.

I'll be nicer to myself about how I look this time around than I was back then, that's for sure.

 

[rosetta]

I'm five feet tall and 121 pounds.

I think of myself as fat.

Is that body dysmorphic or am I really fat?

 

[elrohwen]

I've started using the word "fluffy" to describe myself. I am trying to lose the 15lbs I put on over the past couple years living with DH, but I hate saying that I'm "fat", because I'm not. I don't want to ingrain that word into my brain, and I don't like the negative vibes that come with it. I'm at a perfectly healthy weight for my height, just not my ideal weight. I know I've been 15lbs lighter and I've been able to maintain it easily, so it's not like I'm shooting for the moon - just what I had before. I'm almost 5'10", so 15lbs on me is a lot - I don't even see a difference in my body until I've lost 5lbs. So, since I just have a little pudge around the mid-section, I've been saying I'm "fluffy" and want to get rid of the fluff

Also, I want to say that I hate when people tell me I don't need to watch what I eat because I'm "soooo skinny already". At my last job, whenever there would be birthday cake or something and I would decline (mostly because I'm not a cake person, also because I was trying to watch my calories - hey, I worked at a food company, I ate plenty of junk food in a normal day) someone would always say "Why are you watching what you eat, you're so skinny!" I never understood this - just because I'm skinnier than you doesn't mean I don't want to lose 10lbs for my own personal reasons. Or maybe I just don't like cake! This comment wouldn't annoy me coming from a friend, but it was always from some random co-worker. I think we've become so used to people being overweight that if someone isn't very obviously overweight, they're assumed to be skinny enough and couldn't possibly want to lose any weight. The "healthy weight" for my height has a 40lb range, so I can be a "healthy weight" and still not be happy about my body.

 

[packrat]

I wish they would encourage people to go by body fat percentage rather than rely exclusively on a weight range. When my brother was trying to get in the Navy, the recruiter was asking him questions over the phone, and pretty much laughed at him when he gave his height/weight. According to BMI/healthy weight for his height, my brother was in the obese category. Being used to this, he said "Should I also mention I have 5% body fat?" (I don't know what it really was at the time, but super low) Recruiter said "Oh heck, you're a bodybuilder? Come down now, I want to see you."

A woman I work with had gastric bypass a couple years ago (the one who told me if I lost weight I'd have a perfect butt) and is obsessed w/everyone's weight. She told me about the local gym's thing they were running for overweight people (I'm guessing that was a hint to me)-and you could only do it if you had a BMI of over 25 (or whatever it was). I said I thought that was a bunch of hooey b/c there are people who have a higher BMI (such as my brother) but more muscle and in better shape than those w/lower ones that are "skinny fat", and couldn't do 2 jumping jacks.

 

[elrohwen]

Packie, that's so true. I dated a guy who lifted at least an hour a day, did the protein shake thing, etc - according to his BMI he was overweight by quite a bit. Not sure what his body fat % was, but he was absolutely not overweight and I'm sure the % was very low. He wasn't a big guy at all.

We needed a new scale and DH made me buy one that measures body fat %. I told him it wasn't accurate at all, but he wanted to get it anyway if we were going to buy a scale. It said his % was far higher than he expected (something like 18-19%, when he's actually extremely skinny and all muscle/very athletic). He was so disappointed. lol I think we need to figure out what it is for real so that he stops looking at the number on the scale. Strangely, the number I get seems low - it puts me into the high end of the "fit" range, when I'm very out of shape and a bit pudgy in the mid-section.

 

[JulieN]

For most of my post 18 yo life, I've had a 26.5 inch waist. For some reason last year, I dropped to 25. I had to buy all new pants. Now I'm back to my normal size, but I feel fat because all my pants I bought last year don't fit anymore. Now even my "fat pants" feel tight.

My sister and most others tell me I'm crazy.

I think the solution is just to throw out all of my pants that don't fit, and buy new ones.