Body dysmorphia?

[radiantquest]

I dont think I have ever been happy with my body, ever. I dont think I have a disorder in that I percieve it incorrectly I think that I have just never liked it.

When I was a teenager I was very, very thin. 5'10" and I am not sure what I weighed, but I was really thin. Bones protruded in places that they shouldnt. I ate whatever I wanted and never exercised. I didnt have a womans body at all. I was shaped like a boy. My waist didnt go in at all, I was flat chested and I had no hips.

I did get hips in a matter of 6 weeks. It turns out I have a hippy body type. Boobs never popped out.

In my adult life my weight has fluctuated constantly. I dont know what causes it. I do not do anything differently, but my weight will change by about 20lbs a couple times a year. The birth control I am on causes weight gain and I have noticed that my metabolism isnt quite what it used to be. Although I still fluctuate I fluctuate between pudgy and fat instead of chubby and super thin. Currently I am about 160 to 170lbs. I am not happy with it at all. In my clothes I look okay, but naked I have problems with the way I look. I have "thunder thighs" and a "spare tire". Still lacking breasts so overall it is a sore sight.

I really dont understand my weight issue. I have thin arms, and thin calves, but pusge on my thighs rear and tummy.

I dont know what to do. I eat well. Granted I do not exercise, but I have muscles under my pudge so I am not a complete flab monster. I have an appt with my gyno on wednesday and I am going to talk to her about what to do.

 

[slg47]

Haven I swear its only the Jewish kids who get sent away to camp! I tell people about how we took group showers, and my non camp going friends are so shocked that we did that! It was totally normal to us!

not in Texas...it's all of the Christian kids! I went to camp as a kid...lots of different bodies, all shapes and sizes...

I think some of my personal body issues stem from the fact that my mom is tall, thin, and busty (and blond), and I am...well...average height and more hourglass figure (Circe I think we are about the same). Also, I struggle with my weight...I put on a lot of weight in college and was able to take it off, which is good. I have gained 6-7 lbs since January though and I just feel gross sometimes-I didn't even want my BF to propose until I got under 130 lbs, because I thought that then I would feel better about myself. Needless to say he did propose and I was around 140 lbs and he still loves me and thinks I am beautiful...but I notice when I am thinner I just feel better about myself, more excited to get out and do stuff, happier to shop, etc...