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BM''s hair

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janinegirly

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How are some of you deciding on this? I think i''d like it if they all had the same style, probably the traditional pulled back/neat look--does it matter if they''re the same or that they match me? i have some girls with frizzy hair, others with straight which is why i''d like them to be the same.
 

littlelysser

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Every wedding I''ve ever been in - the BMs were allowed to decide how to wear their hair, assuming that it is different from bride''s hair.

I''d let your BMs pick out the hairstyle that works for them. They know what looks good on them...you know?

I think it is totally reasonable to ask for all of them to wear their hair up or down or whatever, but I''d definitely let them pick the style.

Besides, if everyone had the same hair wouldn''t they all look a bit robotic?
 

galeteia

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I think it would be fine if you asked everyone to have an updo, and then let them pick what kind of updo they wanted. Kind of like choosing a dres length and colour but letting them choose the tops; it gives you an overall harmonious look but lets them work with what they''re comfortable with.
 

FireGoddess

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I have been in quite a few weddings, and no bride has ever told me how to wear my hair, thank God. It''s not that I''d mind looking exactly like all the other BMs, but I personally don''t like how my hair looks up and wouldn''t like to be told I have to do that. Anyway, I think it''s a little much to tell them to all get the same hairdo. Particularly when they all have such different hair.
 

VRBeauty

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Your BMs are there as friends and supporters, not fashion accessories. Assuming they can all be trusted to look their best on that day, I wouldn''t go there.
 

tanyak

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Date: 2/25/2007 3:21:47 PM
Author: MINIMS
Your BMs are there as friends and supporters, not fashion accessories. Assuming they can all be trusted to look their best on that day, I wouldn''t go there.
Absolutely. I didn''t care how my maids wore their hair. I''ve been in two weddings where the bride requested that hair be up, but not a specific style.
 

KimberlyH

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Jun 15, 2006
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I don''t think I''d even tell them they had to wear their hair up or down. They know what looks best on them, let them choose the style that makes them feel most beautiful/put together.
 

ephemery1

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Mar 20, 2006
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My girls are going to be in matching black dresses, so they''re choosing their own shoes/jewelry/hairstyles.... I like the idea of having SOME variety, since their dresses and flowers will be the same! And as others have said, they all know what works best for their hair... and obviously I want them to be comfortable and happy with their styles. Plus it''s one less decision for me to make!
 

Fancy605

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My bridesmaids WANT to do the matching hair thing. It was their idea. (We''ll see if they change their minds when the date draws nearer).

I think that it can look really nice if they all wear their hair the same... but that''s only if they all WANT to wear it the same. Some girls are really picky about their hair. Why don''t you ask them if they would like to wear it "x" way and then work from there?
 

janinegirly

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Sep 21, 2006
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ok, well my bm''s have let me know they don''t really mind--that it''s up to me etc. i just was planning on paying for them all to have their hair done at a nearby salon and thought i could offer them a little direction since i thought that was how it worked. i would limit it to asking them to wear it up or back only, not anything specific but ok i didn''t realize it was more customary to let them decide,etc. thanks for the feedback!
 

Scooba

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Apr 10, 2006
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you can do whatever you want, so people get all crazy when you want to tell BMs how to look but they shouldn''t care how they look and you have the like the look of your wedding, I am just asking all of mine to wear their hair down
 

NYCsparkle

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Jul 23, 2006
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1,371
let the bm''s decide what looks best on them...my cousin was a bridezilla and wouldn''t let us choose...she demanded that we all wear our hair up...i like soft updo''s or loose hair so i hated the tight updo and i wound up taking it out at the reception because the girl stuck those pins too tight in my head and i started bleeding and got a headache.
 

Fancy605

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Jul 3, 2006
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Date: 2/25/2007 9:18:05 PM
Author: janinegirly
ok, well my bm''s have let me know they don''t really mind--that it''s up to me etc. i just was planning on paying for them all to have their hair done at a nearby salon and thought i could offer them a little direction since i thought that was how it worked. i would limit it to asking them to wear it up or back only, not anything specific but ok i didn''t realize it was more customary to let them decide,etc. thanks for the feedback!

Honey, if you''re paying for it, you can put their hair up any way you want to.
You seem like a sweet person. I bet you wouldn''t pick out anything that didn''t look fab or that would be uncomfortable for them. If they say they don''t care, then do it your way.

I dunno, each time I''ve been a bridesmaid, I have liked it when the bride told me what to do with my hair. That way I knew that they wouldn''t look at me and say, "ummm... what is THAT"
 

sarie_j

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Jan 15, 2007
Messages
130
I have to say that I''m with Fancy on this one -- I hate it when the bride doesn''t give instructions because I always wind up being the one girl with her down/up and everyone else is the opposite and I feel weird. That said, apparently most people prefer to make their own decision, but as long as you don''t choose anything extreme then I don''t see why people should have a problem with it -- if these girls like you well enough to buy dresses, shoes, jewely, plan, etc, for you then I think a hair choice is a pretty miniscule thing to ask. And if they''ve made the offer then heck yeah, choose what you like and run with it - it''s your day

Just make sure your stylist doesn''t make anyone bleed like in the post above
 
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