pannini
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Apr 7, 2009
- Messages
- 382
I am about to try to fix a mistake I made months ago.
I''ve been friends with 3 girls from college for over 10 years now. One girl (I''ll call her Sandy) asked me to be her BM about 3 years ago, which I did.
Now that I am engaged, I asked the 3 girls prematurely to be my bridesmaids. My best friend Kelli is my MOH. My little sister is also a BM. So that is 5 total.
My fiance is having 4 groomsmen.
The issue comes around here:
Sandy and I have been slowly drifting apart, but it hasn''t been a big deal. We just never spend time with each other with as much effort anymore. She''s busy, I''m in grad school, we are just busy. Except I see more of the other 2 college friends and they are just as busy as her. She stopped meeting me halfway in terms of maintaining the friendship. That''s fine, no love lost. But this started happening right after I''ve made the premature invitation to have Sandy be one of BMs. THEN... my fiance''s sister has been growing close with me. She is married and has 2 babies. I''ve been pondering over having her be a BM too. That means I need to really keep it 5 and under.
So... now I am ready to change my BM lineup by informing Sandy of not being a BM anymore, and have my fiance''s sister be a BM instead.
OR... I tell them I "throw my hands up" and I am going to start at ZERO bridesmaids for now, and will discuss BM status once I get closer to wedding planning. Does everyone chose BMs before a certain deadline? My wedding is in 1.5 years, so I have time to reassess right?
I know... this is horrible. I am feeling horrible. I''ve lost sleep over this, but I know that it just wouldn''t feel right to have her be a part of that bridal party on the big day. It just doesn''t feel right, but neither is unnecessary drama.
Thoughts?
Also, if I don''t have fiance''s sister be a BM (due to her being married with kids already), how can I have her be a great symbolic part of the wedding without selling her short by having her do a reading (least likely doing any readings anyway, that''s not our style)? Is having her kids be a part of the wedding not sufficient?
I''ve been friends with 3 girls from college for over 10 years now. One girl (I''ll call her Sandy) asked me to be her BM about 3 years ago, which I did.
Now that I am engaged, I asked the 3 girls prematurely to be my bridesmaids. My best friend Kelli is my MOH. My little sister is also a BM. So that is 5 total.
My fiance is having 4 groomsmen.
The issue comes around here:
Sandy and I have been slowly drifting apart, but it hasn''t been a big deal. We just never spend time with each other with as much effort anymore. She''s busy, I''m in grad school, we are just busy. Except I see more of the other 2 college friends and they are just as busy as her. She stopped meeting me halfway in terms of maintaining the friendship. That''s fine, no love lost. But this started happening right after I''ve made the premature invitation to have Sandy be one of BMs. THEN... my fiance''s sister has been growing close with me. She is married and has 2 babies. I''ve been pondering over having her be a BM too. That means I need to really keep it 5 and under.
So... now I am ready to change my BM lineup by informing Sandy of not being a BM anymore, and have my fiance''s sister be a BM instead.
OR... I tell them I "throw my hands up" and I am going to start at ZERO bridesmaids for now, and will discuss BM status once I get closer to wedding planning. Does everyone chose BMs before a certain deadline? My wedding is in 1.5 years, so I have time to reassess right?
I know... this is horrible. I am feeling horrible. I''ve lost sleep over this, but I know that it just wouldn''t feel right to have her be a part of that bridal party on the big day. It just doesn''t feel right, but neither is unnecessary drama.
Thoughts?
Also, if I don''t have fiance''s sister be a BM (due to her being married with kids already), how can I have her be a great symbolic part of the wedding without selling her short by having her do a reading (least likely doing any readings anyway, that''s not our style)? Is having her kids be a part of the wedding not sufficient?