Birthdays

[Elmorton]

How do you celebrate? Big gifts? Small? With friends? As a couple?

DH''s birthday is in a little over a week, and like usual, I''m scrambling to figure out what to give him. We already decided on his non-surprise gift (an outdoor fireplace/firepit) but the one I''m getting him isn''t all that expensive, so I have extra room in the budget and a few ideas but nothing uber exciting planned. He doesn''t really get excited about "stuff" or presents the way I do, so I always feel a little frustrated when his birthday comes around - I want him to feel as excited and loved as he makes me feel on my birthday!

So - this one is a two-parter: Please share how you celebrate/give me some ideas that I might be able to use this year or in the future.

 

[TooPatient]

We do quiet just the two of us stuff. Neither of us is big on birthdays. (except that I love to get him stuff)

I try to limit my budget (excluding dinner & cake materials) to $200 - $300 plus a couple of nice wines (which I try to keep to $20/bottle or less so if he likes it we can buy more)

My planning usually starts around November. (his birthday is June). That way I can listen and see what he wants or needs or doesn''t have. (bunches of books, wine refrigerator, crystal decanter and wine glasses, etc.)

Usually cook his favorite meal. (well, current favorite meal) I bake him a cake. About a month ahead I''ll ask what kind of cake he''d like and then I start searching for the perfect recipe.



What he does for me:

He tries. He just doesn''t pick up on my not so subtle hints very well. (and usually starts thinking about it about a week before my birthday)
This year he took me to a garden center and let me buy a bunch of plants for the yard (I told him this is what I wanted to do for my birthday). A few years ago he found a quiet hotel a couple of hours from here and we took the ferry over. Spent 2 days just looking around. Visiting wineries. Etc.
The year before I got a box of chocolates.

This year he even made me (from scratch) the most yummy ooey gooey chocolate filled chocolate cake.

 

[elrohwen]

FI and I have never really done the whole gift thing. Recently we got blackberries and said "This is your early Christmas present!" to each other. Haha. We are definitely not romantic gift givers. So for birthdays, we'll usually get each other a card (oo, that reminds me to get FI a card since his bday is this Saturday!) and go out to dinner. Sometimes we go out to dinner by ourselves, and other times we invite friends too. We love food but are too cheap to have nice dinners all the time, so birthdays are kind of a guilt-free way to go wherever we want, order that bottle of wine and get some dessert too

ETA: Once we have more disposable income and aren't saving for a house, it would be nice to go on weekend trips for birthdays. It's similar to the dinner idea, just taken a step further I guess.

 

[TooPatient]

Date: 9/15/2009 10:13:34 AM
Author: elrohwen
FI and I have never really done the whole gift thing. Recently we got blackberries and said ''This is your early Christmas present!'' to each other. Haha. We are definitely not romantic gift givers. So for birthdays, we''ll usually get each other a card (oo, that reminds me to get FI a card since his bday is this Saturday!) and go out to dinner. Sometimes we go out to dinner by ourselves, and other times we invite friends too. We love food but are too cheap to have nice dinners all the time, so birthdays are kind of a guilt-free way to go wherever we want, order that bottle of wine and get some dessert too

ETA: Once we have more disposable income and aren''t saving for a house, it would be nice to go on weekend trips for birthdays. It''s similar to the dinner idea, just taken a step further I guess.

Saving for a house never ends. We saved for a house and finally bought it 18 months ago. Since then we''ve kept saving for the house. What doesn''t go to mortgage & insurance & tax goes to fixing stuff. Like every appliance in the house & the windows & the new flooring & the septic inspection & chimney clean & insect spray & grass seed & &&&&&&&.

It is important to treat yourselves sometimes. Makes the rest of it easier to deal with. (for an inexpensive getaway, try camping. Once you''ve got the tent and stuff it doesn''t really cost anything)

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I can''t remember the last time I''ve given or got an actual gift for my b-day. We buy trips for each other because that''s what we love.

This issue is that D''s b-day is 2 days before our anniversary, so if we take an anniversary trip, it has to be separate from the b-day trip. I''ll never combine them. this year I took him to Ireland for his b-day, but we went over Labor Day weekend instead of late September--I think we might take a weekend and go down to Nantucket or something for our anniversary later this month, which will fall on his actual b-day.

Lately we''ve been taking international trips for gifts, but when we were younger it was often just a B&B for the weekend and those were just as wonderful. Also, all gifts come from separate accounts, they never come out of the joint account (which is going to the house). I never want for him to know how much the trip was and vice versa.

 

[Haven]

DH doesn''t really like his birthday, so I''ll usually invite one or two other couples to go out for a really nice dinner with us to celebrate, as he does like good food. We typically don''t give gifts to each other, we give handwritten notes, but I have gotten him a few gifts when I *know* that there''s something he really wants. (Mind you, these gifts end up being things like skeletons of the foot and such, YUCK!)
I also host a dinner at our house for his family, which is pretty large, and that''s always fun.

Anyway, he''s turning 40 in April so now I really want to throw a big party for him. I''m trying to decide if I want to have a hotel party (my best friend works for a gorgeous hotel and she could get us a great deal) or do something at the house. I love throwing parties in our house.

Are there any new hobbies or interests your DH has picked up in the last year? My husband took a serious interest in cooking and Gordon Ramsay over the last few years, so I have gotten him several cooking gifts which are always fun.

 

[Elmorton]

Arrrg, I''m still stuck!

I love the idea of a trip - actually, that''s what I''d originally planned, but the B&B called to cancel for that weekend, and his birthday is smack in the middle of his busiest work season and I just got a new job, so I''m really unsure of my schedule for a few months anyway. I thought of tickets to a concert or show, but again, I have no idea of what our schedules will be.

We are doing a cookout the weekend after the bday, so there should be friends around, and that''s part of the firepit idea (first round of s''mores with our friends!), so it''s not like he''s not getting nothing, but it''s just sad because he knows about it.

I tipped off my parents to the hobby gift - DH started making homebrewed beer, so my dad bought him a bunch of supplies, and DH''s parents are combining Xmas and birthday gifts this year so that DH can get a new TV. I thought about stuff to go with the new TV, but I think the fun for DH is getting to pick out all that stuff himself.

He golfs, but barely played this summer and the season is nearly over.

So...no ideas there. I got him a new watch for our anniversary, so that''s out. I hate to say it, but I''m seriously considering just getting him a T-shirt or two from his alma mater (his ones from college are sooo grungy) and calling it a day.

I just hate feeling like I''m not getting him a surprise or something he''ll be truly excited about! I used to be so good with gifts for him, and then we got married.

 

[Haven]

Hmmmmm . . .

Beer.
- This brewery has a mug club and it''s in the quad cities. Is that where you guys are located? When you join the mug club you get a mug with your name on it that goes up on the wall for a year, and then it''s yours after that. It looks like they have a restaurant, you could take him to dinner and then join the mug club.
- Here''s a page full of breweries in the quad cities, maybe one them has something fun going on around his birthday.
- Beer of the Month Club?

I really hope you''re actually in the quad cities! If not, sorry for misremembering!

 

[Elmorton]

Yupp, I''m in the QC

Bent River is really good, actually! I''m not crazy about the cuisine, but the beer is fun and creative. I can''t believe the searching you did. We actually do growlers from several of the local breweries...it''s a great idea, but maybe I''ll do something like that for the holidays. The beermaking supplies that my parents are getting him = something like 20 gallons of beer, so I''m not sure we''ll need any more in the house for awhile.

I''m kinda tossing an idea around - I think I''ll have an area to display my degree at work, so we''ll have some wall space in our study. DH has been complaining for eons that after we painted the study, a framed newspaper page that he designed/old colleagues signed wound up in the basement. I still hate looking at the thing (it reminds me of where we used to live, ick), but I was thinking of re-framing it or getting a new newspaper page to frame - maybe an antique issue of the paper where he currently writes? Or doing a collage of his clips (though it would be a PITA to find some of this - I think he threw out a bunch of clips when we moved to this house). But, if I do that, I''ve essentially bought two presents for the house, which isn''t exactly for him.

I seriously wish he had more material interests!

 

[Elmorton]

Oooh, just found something else. Last winter we went to a dinner theater in town and had a blast - we''ve been talking about going again, and during the fall they''re doing "Mid-Life, the Crisis Musical" which looks kinda fun. I can do a GC and we can choose whichever date we want.

so...dinner theater? thing on the wall? college gear?

 

[TooPatient]

Date: 9/16/2009 5:36:36 PM
Author: Elmorton
Yupp, I''m in the QC

Bent River is really good, actually! I''m not crazy about the cuisine, but the beer is fun and creative. I can''t believe the searching you did. We actually do growlers from several of the local breweries...it''s a great idea, but maybe I''ll do something like that for the holidays. The beermaking supplies that my parents are getting him = something like 20 gallons of beer, so I''m not sure we''ll need any more in the house for awhile.

I''m kinda tossing an idea around - I think I''ll have an area to display my degree at work, so we''ll have some wall space in our study. DH has been complaining for eons that after we painted the study, a framed newspaper page that he designed/old colleagues signed wound up in the basement. I still hate looking at the thing (it reminds me of where we used to live, ick), but I was thinking of re-framing it or getting a new newspaper page to frame - maybe an antique issue of the paper where he currently writes? Or doing a collage of his clips (though it would be a PITA to find some of this - I think he threw out a bunch of clips when we moved to this house). But, if I do that, I''ve essentially bought two presents for the house, which isn''t exactly for him.

I seriously wish he had more material interests!

If you''ve got a little space in your yard you could get him supplies and/or books on growing his own hops.
I''m pretty sure you can order the plants online.

(my grandfather grows them so I know it can be done and once they''re started the maintenance isn''t too bad)

 

[Haven]

I love the idea of framing the newspaper page, that sounds like something he''d really enjoy.
Dinner theatre sounds like a blast, too.

As for college gear--did he go to school somewhere that is drive-able? If so you could take him to a sports game at his alma mater. If my husband ever thought to buy tickets for a U of I game and surprise me with an overnight trip to ''Bana, I would be sooooo elated.

And don''t worry, my research consisted of googling "Brewery quad cities" and browsing through some links.
Gotta love the Internet.

 

[elrohwen]

Date: 9/15/2009 1:21:31 PM
Author: TooPatient

Saving for a house never ends. We saved for a house and finally bought it 18 months ago. Since then we''ve kept saving for the house. What doesn''t go to mortgage & insurance & tax goes to fixing stuff. Like every appliance in the house & the windows & the new flooring & the septic inspection & chimney clean & insect spray & grass seed & &&&&&&&.

It is important to treat yourselves sometimes. Makes the rest of it easier to deal with. (for an inexpensive getaway, try camping. Once you''ve got the tent and stuff it doesn''t really cost anything)

Toopatient, thanks for the suggestions. We actually go camping quite often and we go on a couple long vacations and many weekend vacations every year, so trips for birthdays kind of don''t happen. Though my bday is in the winter and FI''s is right before our wedding, so it kind of makes sense that we don''t travel. I guess I just meant that trips for birthdays might happen at some point if we have more disposable income, but right now we take enough other trips and don''t really bother with the birthdays.

 

[Elmorton]

Wheee!!! I finally figured out what I''m doing for the bday.

Part 1 - the firepit thingie
Part 2 - tickets to Cirque Dreams Illumination in town - we saw it together when I was searching for other entertainment things, so not a huge surprise
Part 3 - an adapter kit so he can plug in his car xm receiver into our home audio -- this will be a total surprise. He''s talked about getting the kit but never got around to it, and I think he''ll be surprised that I remembered (frankly, I''m surprised that I remembered!!).

I think I''m going to do the newspaper thing just for kicks, but I want to search in some antique stores and find neat sports pages. He loves baseball history, so I''d love to be able to find historic sporting events/news.

Haven, so you weren''t at the game last week where your alma mater beat the snot out of mine?

 

[elrohwen]

Date: 9/17/2009 10:07:04 PM
Author: Elmorton
Wheee!!! I finally figured out what I''m doing for the bday.

Part 1 - the firepit thingie
Part 2 - tickets to Cirque Dreams Illumination in town - we saw it together when I was searching for other entertainment things, so not a huge surprise
Part 3 - an adapter kit so he can plug in his car xm receiver into our home audio -- this will be a total surprise. He''s talked about getting the kit but never got around to it, and I think he''ll be surprised that I remembered (frankly, I''m surprised that I remembered!!).

I think I''m going to do the newspaper thing just for kicks, but I want to search in some antique stores and find neat sports pages. He loves baseball history, so I''d love to be able to find historic sporting events/news.

Haven, so you weren''t at the game last week where your alma mater beat the snot out of mine?

Those sound like great gifts! It feels so great to know you''re getting them something they would love.

 

[zoebartlett]

We don''t buy each other gifts, but instead, we plan something fun to do. We''ve gone away for a night or a weekend, and we''ve gone out to dinner and to a concert/show that one (or both) of us wants to see. We''ve been together for 6 years, and we don''t need any more "stuff." That''s just us though. We love planning something to do or somewhere to go because it gives us a special day to look forward to.

 

[musey]

I don't think I'll be much help with ideas, because we give VERY small gifts for birthdays. Small gifts for any occasion, really. Rarely over $50, usually under $20. I think I got him a blu-ray he wanted for his last birthday. We're very bad at delaying gratification. If we want something, we get it - for ourselves - so there's nothing left when holidays roll around.

As for how we celebrate, it usually ends up being a brunch/lunch out at a favorite restaurant, then doing something together for the rest of the day. Then a dinner out with friends on a different night.

We're simple folk

birthdays just aren't a big deal to us.

 

[anchor31]

Birthdays were always something special in my family. We always invited a few friends over and had a dinner with the family. The "birthday person" chose the meal and cake and got a few presents. When we started dating, my parents extended the tradition to our boyfriends and girlfriends, and we still do it. DH and I also try to do something special just between us; it''s usually dinner and a movie (or we cook each other''s favourite meal) and a small present.

 

[iheartscience]

We usually do a family dinner at my parents'' house as well as a meal out with a few friends. For his 30th birthday I surprised him with a big dinner out with all our friends, but usually it''s just a few of us. The gift budget varies, depending on what the present is.

This year for my birthday he got me a top case for my scooter, which ruled! I''m thinking about getting him the iPhone 3GS but he has the original iPhone and loves it so I''m not sure if he would want the 3GS or not. His birthday is in less than a week so I need to get on it!