Birthday came..

[OrchidVee]

But a proposal didn't...ugh!!!! I wasn't COMPLETELY expecting it on my birthday, but I thought MAYBE he will do it then. We leave for NYC on Sunday morning until Tuesday, so maybe it will be then. I'm sure we will have a great time regardless, but it's hard to think about that knowing the ring is in a cabinet (yes..I ACCIDENTLY found it..oopsies ). I just wanted to give you a guys a quick update since I have been crazy busy this week with school.

 

[HighRoad]

Ugh, OrchidVee, I feel your pain. My birthday is coming up in a little less than a week, and I'm secretly dreading it. On the one hand, I can't bear the thought of yet another special occasion passing without a proposal (we're coming up on *three years together* now, and he and I are both over 40, so it's not like we're college kids who are still figuring ourselves out...I've known I wanted to marry this man almost from Day 1)...

On the other hand, I fear he WILL propose and... it will be so ordinary and pedestrian and low-budget and unspecial that it will feel like an anticlimactic letdown.

I've never had the experience of being SURPRISED by a proposal of marriage though it's something I've always dreamed of.

He knows this. And I know he loves me and wants to marry me.

I just don't know what he's waiting for or why it's taken him so long. For me, it's not about the ring (though I luvs me some fine diamonds). It's never been about the ring (though I do hope to have a really nice rock someday). It's about what's in his heart for me. If that's been in place for months and months... why hasn't he proposed already?

I just will not ever understand the way men think and feel, I'm afraid.

Anyway, hang in there.

Do you have the sense that your fellow is waiting FOR something -- some sort of milestone perhaps? Someone's approval? Some promotion or pay raise at work? Men can be really funny about those kinds of things, IME.

 

[tuffyluvr]

Omg, I accidentally found mine too Vee!!! It didn't take much, as it was just sitting at eye level on a shelf in his closet, which he failed to close!!! That's hilariously awesome that we both accidentally found them. Did you peek? I did--I'm naughty!

My bf told me today that he was going to propose on sunday--we were getting ready for a party and I said "I feel like I'm not dressed up enough." and he told me today that he was going to say, "why don't you just put this on?" and he was going to go pull out the ring. I feel like that would have been really cute! And very 'me'. I would just die of embarrassment if he did something really public. I hate having everyone look at me--the most mortifying thing to me is when people sing to me on my birthday!!!

Sigh. I guess I'll just have to keep waiting...

Dust that yours is coming soon!!! I bet he will do it in NYC! Proposal in NYC in fall--quelle romantique!!!!

 

[OrchidVee]

Ugh, OrchidVee, I feel your pain. My birthday is coming up in a little less than a week, and I'm secretly dreading it. On the one hand, I can't bear the thought of yet another special occasion passing without a proposal (we're coming up on *three years together* now, and he and I are both over 40, so it's not like we're college kids who are still figuring ourselves out...I've known I wanted to marry this man almost from Day 1)...

On the other hand, I fear he WILL propose and... it will be so ordinary and pedestrian and low-budget and unspecial that it will feel like an anticlimactic letdown.

I've never had the experience of being SURPRISED by a proposal of marriage though it's something I've always dreamed of.

He knows this. And I know he loves me and wants to marry me.

I just don't know what he's waiting for or why it's taken him so long. For me, it's not about the ring (though I luvs me some fine diamonds). It's never been about the ring (though I do hope to have a really nice rock someday). It's about what's in his heart for me. If that's been in place for months and months... why hasn't he proposed already?

I just will not ever understand the way men think and feel, I'm afraid.

Anyway, hang in there.

Do you have the sense that your fellow is waiting FOR something -- some sort of milestone perhaps? Someone's approval? Some promotion or pay raise at work? Men can be really funny about those kinds of things, IME.

I'm sorry you have been waiting too...makes you so anxious!!! Have you two talked about it; a timeline?? I think becuase he knows that you want to have that surprise factor, it will be surprising and special! Dust to you!!!

As for my SO..well, I figured he would wait for my bday, our trip to NYC or our anniversary (which is Oct 17th) since those were the 3 big things coming up this month. I figured he would choose NYC bc we would actually be away and he would have many opportunities to propose, where as on our anniversary, we would just be at home. So, who knows. I doubt he is waiting for a raise or anything of the sort, because he already has the ring. I guess I am just psyching myself out and all I can do is wait.

 

[OrchidVee]

Omg, I accidentally found mine too Vee!!! It didn't take much, as it was just sitting at eye level on a shelf in his closet, which he failed to close!!! That's hilariously awesome that we both accidentally found them. Did you peek? I did--I'm naughty!

My bf told me today that he was going to propose on sunday--we were getting ready for a party and I said "I feel like I'm not dressed up enough." and he told me today that he was going to say, "why don't you just put this on?" and he was going to go pull out the ring. I feel like that would have been really cute! And very 'me'. I would just die of embarrassment if he did something really public. I hate having everyone look at me--the most mortifying thing to me is when people sing to me on my birthday!!!

Sigh. I guess I'll just have to keep waiting...

Dust that yours is coming soon!!! I bet he will do it in NYC! Proposal in NYC in fall--quelle romantique!!!!

I'm so glad I'm not the only one!!! I was bad too and did peak, but I HAD TO! I tried to will myself not to do it, but I caved lol. It's sooooo beautiful! Just the way I pictured it in my head. He doesn't know I found it though because I didn't want to upset him, so I will keep that little secret to myself .

I hope you get your proposal soon!!!!

 

[SomethingSinful]

I am wishing you dust anniversary twin

 

[HighRoad]

I'm sorry you have been waiting too...makes you so anxious!!! Have you two talked about it; a timeline??

We've talked about it numerous times -- sometimes tearfully on my part. I relocated over 1200 miles so that we could be together after 2.5 years of long-distance relationship -- this past summer I got a new (and better paying - yay!) job, put my home on the market, and uprooted. He was far from the only reason, mind you -- my sons from a previous marriage are nearly grown now, and I was terribly homesick, and it just so happened that my beloved lives in the city where I grew up (we met through a mutual friend while I was down here on a visit)...so it was as if the stars aligned when we met. The timing was pretty close to perfect for a relocation and this relationship and this man are so worth it. Even so, it was a lot of work, not to mention a lot of stress and expense. To his credit, he was 100% there for me in terms of helping me get moved down here.

The thing is...I'm a little old-fashioned, and I don't want us to be seen as "shacking up" together -- it just did not and still does not feel right to me, both as a "lady" and as a mother. It also goes somewhat against my spiritual beliefs...and his, for that matter.

Over and over I've told him a) how uncomfortable I am with the idea of living together when we are not engaged and have not yet set a wedding date and b) how being engaged does not *require* a ring...just a proposal and then maybe a plan to GET a ring if both people think that's important. He's acknowledged, very caringly, that he hears me... and then ...nothing changes.

I just want to get on with the show at this point...and that doesn't feel very romantic at all.

I think becuase he knows that you want to have that surprise factor, it will be surprising and special! Dust to you!!!

Thank you, OrchidVee. I hope you're right. At this point, I'm so disappointed and hurt and tired of waiting that the proposal (with or without the ring) will have to be pretty outstandingly spectacular to feel "surprising and special" to me.

Am I mean, petty, and shallow for feeling that way? Just *once* in my life I would like to know what it feels like to have a man pour his heart out to me and ask for my hand, and actually be a little worried and unsure that I will accept his proposal.

I haven't nagged him about it (yuck) but it bothers me that I had to be the one to bring the subject up.

To his credit, he's being a very good sport on those occasions when I have brought it up. A few months before we moved in together, just to test the waters, I bought tickets to a bridal show here where we're living now and asked if he'd be interested in checking it out with me. I'd never been to a bridal show and neither had he so it was mostly a curiosity thing on my part, but I thought it might get the gears turning in HIS mind a bit.

To my surprise he enthusiastically agreed to go with me, and sure enough, when the day came, he was all gung-ho to go. We had a fantastic time (aside from the moment when this shameless red-headed Amazon hussy from one of the photography companies practically pressed herself against him as she asked for his business card -- right in front of me. My poor and very loyal fellow was stunned speechless. I just inserted myself between her and him and said, "Sorry, we were just leaving. And we already have a photographer. Thanks." The nerve of that broad! At a *bridal* show no less...

The rest of the show was wonderful and he was by my side and really actively participating the whole time -- far more than I would expect him or ANY man to be. I know he wants to marry me. He's said as much on several occasions when we've been in a romantic cuddle. I know he wants to reassure me. Thus my puzzlement.

As for my SO..well, I figured he would wait for my bday, our trip to NYC or our anniversary (which is Oct 17th) since those were the 3 big things coming up this month. I figured he would choose NYC bc we would actually be away and he would have many opportunities to propose, where as on our anniversary, we would just be at home. So, who knows. I doubt he is waiting for a raise or anything of the sort, because he already has the ring. I guess I am just psyching myself out and all I can do is wait.

At least you KNOW he has the ring and it's going to happen any day now. That's a LOT more than I have to work with. Needless to say, I'm quite envious and am looking forward to hearing all about your proposal and seeing pictures of the ring!

 

[OrchidVee]

I'm sorry you have been waiting too...makes you so anxious!!! Have you two talked about it; a timeline??

We've talked about it numerous times -- sometimes tearfully on my part. I relocated over 1200 miles so that we could be together after 2.5 years of long-distance relationship -- this past summer I got a new (and better paying - yay!) job, put my home on the market, and uprooted. He was far from the only reason, mind you -- my sons from a previous marriage are nearly grown now, and I was terribly homesick, and it just so happened that my beloved lives in the city where I grew up (we met through a mutual friend while I was down here on a visit)...so it was as if the stars aligned when we met. The timing was pretty close to perfect for a relocation and this relationship and this man are so worth it. Even so, it was a lot of work, not to mention a lot of stress and expense. To his credit, he was 100% there for me in terms of helping me get moved down here.

The thing is...I'm a little old-fashioned, and I don't want us to be seen as "shacking up" together -- it just did not and still does not feel right to me, both as a "lady" and as a mother. It also goes somewhat against my spiritual beliefs...and his, for that matter.

Over and over I've told him a) how uncomfortable I am with the idea of living together when we are not engaged and have not yet set a wedding date and b) how being engaged does not *require* a ring...just a proposal and then maybe a plan to GET a ring if both people think that's important. He's acknowledged, very caringly, that he hears me... and then ...nothing changes.

I just want to get on with the show at this point...and that doesn't feel very romantic at all.

I think becuase he knows that you want to have that surprise factor, it will be surprising and special! Dust to you!!!

Thank you, OrchidVee. I hope you're right. At this point, I'm so disappointed and hurt and tired of waiting that the proposal (with or without the ring) will have to be pretty outstandingly spectacular to feel "surprising and special" to me.

Am I mean, petty, and shallow for feeling that way? Just *once* in my life I would like to know what it feels like to have a man pour his heart out to me and ask for my hand, and actually be a little worried and unsure that I will accept his proposal.

I haven't nagged him about it (yuck) but it bothers me that I had to be the one to bring the subject up.

To his credit, he's being a very good sport on those occasions when I have brought it up. A few months before we moved in together, just to test the waters, I bought tickets to a bridal show here where we're living now and asked if he'd be interested in checking it out with me. I'd never been to a bridal show and neither had he so it was mostly a curiosity thing on my part, but I thought it might get the gears turning in HIS mind a bit.

To my surprise he enthusiastically agreed to go with me, and sure enough, when the day came, he was all gung-ho to go. We had a fantastic time (aside from the moment when this shameless red-headed Amazon hussy from one of the photography companies practically pressed herself against him as she asked for his business card -- right in front of me. My poor and very loyal fellow was stunned speechless. I just inserted myself between her and him and said, "Sorry, we were just leaving. And we already have a photographer. Thanks." The nerve of that broad! At a *bridal* show no less...

The rest of the show was wonderful and he was by my side and really actively participating the whole time -- far more than I would expect him or ANY man to be. I know he wants to marry me. He's said as much on several occasions when we've been in a romantic cuddle. I know he wants to reassure me. Thus my puzzlement.

As for my SO..well, I figured he would wait for my bday, our trip to NYC or our anniversary (which is Oct 17th) since those were the 3 big things coming up this month. I figured he would choose NYC bc we would actually be away and he would have many opportunities to propose, where as on our anniversary, we would just be at home. So, who knows. I doubt he is waiting for a raise or anything of the sort, because he already has the ring. I guess I am just psyching myself out and all I can do is wait.

At least you KNOW he has the ring and it's going to happen any day now. That's a LOT more than I have to work with. Needless to say, I'm quite envious and am looking forward to hearing all about your proposal and seeing pictures of the ring!

While I can't say, "I know the feeling", I can tell you that I think your feelings are COMPLETELY justified. I would want to know what the deal was too?! If he has said he wants to marry you, has gone to a bridal show with you and seems to be 100% committed, then what is the deal?? Honestly, you might just have to be blunt with him. You were brazen and suggested the bridal show; why not be brazen and suggest that you two look at rings? I know that you said that you would be content without a ring, but I can tell that you really WANT a ring. Just because you would be ok with not having one, doesn't mean you shouldn't have one. Besides, this seems to be the relationship you waited your whole life for; why not have something symbolizing that on your finger!? Something you can see at any given moment and smile?? And of COURSE you want that romantic proposal with those beautiful words!!! What woman doesn't?? That doesn't make you petty or shallow at all! That makes you human. You want to hear heart felt words come from the man of your dreams; we all do. So, bottom line; say something LOUD AND CLEAR. Be heard. You WANT to be married and not "shack up". You have every right to want that; you deserve that! Now, by no means am I telling you to give him an ultimatum, but I think that you should at least let him know that this is something that you feel VERY strongly about. Good luck!!!

 

[OrchidVee]

I am wishing you dust anniversary twin

OHHH how fun!!! It's a great day isn't it?!