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Being bummed

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princessplease

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 20, 2009
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Question for the ladies:
Have you ever thought that the proposal was going to happen at a certain time, and became really bummed when you found out it wasn''t going to happen when expected? I really thought maybe he''d ask for our anniversary on the 12th, but got some definitive news otherwise. I''m a little bummed, even though I told myself I wouldn''t be bummed if it didn''t happen then.

How has everyone else coped?
 

Smurfysmiles

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 30, 2007
Messages
3,938
I've had this happen in the past. I know it's hard to do but I always promise myself I'll concentrate more on the special occasion than on what *might* happen at said occasion. It's special for a reason and by placing unfair hopes on your SO you stand the chance of ruining the occasion for not only yourself but him as well. Hope this helps :-\

eta: read the question wrong. The best way for me to cope was ice cream and a sappy movie. It won't get you anywhere but it always made me feel a little better. That or taking a hot shower and crying as hard as you can is a good way to just let the emotions out. Make sure to use a stress reducing body wash :)
 

nylak

Rough_Rock
Joined
Feb 1, 2009
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7
I definitely know how you feel. My boyfriend drops hints about it all the time and yet it never comes. It doesn''t help either that I''m impatient and just want it to happen so I annoy him
 

jcarlylew

Ideal_Rock
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Jun 27, 2008
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3,899
Date: 2/26/2009 10:08:27 PM
Author:princessplease
Question for the ladies:

Have you ever thought that the proposal was going to happen at a certain time, and became really bummed when you found out it wasn''t going to happen when expected? I really thought maybe he''d ask for our anniversary on the 12th, but got some definitive news otherwise. I''m a little bummed, even though I told myself I wouldn''t be bummed if it didn''t happen then.


How has everyone else coped?
this might sound a bit bad, but thats why i do not get my hopes up. i know it will happen, but i would rather be surprised then feel like "finally".

know while i say all that... i still feel bummed each time a major event passes by. *sigh*. Its hard hun, but keep your head up! *hugs*
 

sammyj

Brilliant_Rock
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Aug 28, 2008
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1,247
Date: 2/27/2009 7:12:57 AM
Author: jcarlylew


this might sound a bit bad, but thats why i do not get my hopes up. i know it will happen, but i would rather be surprised then feel like ''finally''.

know while i say all that... i still feel bummed each time a major event passes by. *sigh*. Its hard hun, but keep your head up! *hugs*
I''m the same. I really try not to associate a possible engagement with another special event. For one, it''s not my BF''s style, and second, I am setting myself up for disappointment. If I ever have an inkling that a proposal may happen, I will mention it to my BF and he is good enough to say, "sammyj, please doesn''t expect anything. I don''t want you to be disappointed!"
 

tlh

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 31, 2008
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4,511
I threw a temper tantrum in the grocery store.



I was glad at that occassion that I look like I am in HS.... my BF (now DH) was sooo embarrassed. He gets flushed sooo easily. It made me feel good... and he still laughs about it.
 

happydreams

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Dec 16, 2008
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321
Date: 2/27/2009 8:57:20 AM
Author: tlh
I threw a temper tantrum in the grocery store.



I was glad at that occassion that I look like I am in HS.... my BF (now DH) was sooo embarrassed. He gets flushed sooo easily. It made me feel good... and he still laughs about it.
you know...you probably enteretained grocery shoppers around you. why is it so interesting to listen to other couple''s arguements?
i remember i had one of these moments last year too. we were eating in a restaurant and it just happened to be all couples in the restaurant that day.
as soon as i started crying while discussing "where is this all going", the every seat around us became really quiet. thinking back, it''s just
hilarious how all the couples around us were silently eating their food while eavesdropping on our conversation. (we were talking kind of low too)
 

tlh

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 31, 2008
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4,511
Date: 2/27/2009 10:36:12 AM
Author: happydreams

you know...you probably enteretained grocery shoppers around you. why is it so interesting to listen to other couple''s arguements?
i remember i had one of these moments last year too. we were eating in a restaurant and it just happened to be all couples in the restaurant that day.
as soon as i started crying while discussing ''where is this all going'', the every seat around us became really quiet. thinking back, it''s just
hilarious how all the couples around us were silently eating their food while eavesdropping on our conversation. (we were talking kind of low too)
My temper tantrum was about him buying food in bulk (it costs less) when he clearly wasn''t putting bulk purchases (ie a wife and a family) into a high priority in his future. I started stomping my feet and saying NO! I DONT WANT THOSE! GET THOSE! and when alternating stomping didn''t work I started jumping. YES, PEOPLE STARED AT ME. But I was being ridiculous.
I have been in situations where people were having an argument and the girl was crying before. I try not to listen, but it is awkward just to watch. CRAZY... because yeah, it does like get silent.

So princessplease, maybe temper tantrums aren''t the best idea!
 

nail_polish

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Feb 4, 2009
Messages
169

No matter how hard I try not to get excited.. it just happens.. and then obviously, there is a bit of let down, even though I told myself not to expect anything.

Luckily, most ''let downs'' have been accompanied with a happy event as it is. I thought Valentine''s was an option - I was a bit sad when I realized it wasn''t going to happen, but still happy because in the end we had a great weekend anyway.

However, I see the best coping mechanism for me as being talking to my boyfriend about it.
I am seeing a trend in my posts - everything resorts back to communication with my boyfriend. Him and I talk SO MUCH and I really credit communication for why we are so strong.
 

Winks_Elf

Brilliant_Rock
Trade
Joined
Nov 28, 2008
Messages
1,673
I''m not sure, but my hopes are up that tomorrow will be the day for me. I''m going to be disappointed if it isn''t.
 

nail_polish

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Feb 4, 2009
Messages
169
Date: 2/27/2009 12:22:51 PM
Author: Winks_Elf
I''m not sure, but my hopes are up that tomorrow will be the day for me. I''m going to be disappointed if it isn''t.

TOMORROW?! Yay! Good luck!!

 

chocolatefudge

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Oct 28, 2007
Messages
383
This has happened to me loads of times. I was sure it was going to happen during a holiday together in 2005 (Yes, you read correctly ladies- 2005!) Everytime my SO would reach into his pocket I felt my heart stop! One night we sat opposite our hotel on the clifftop overlooking the sea and everything was so perfect. He suddenly said he had left something in the car and ran off to fetch it. Honestly I nearly had a heart attack!! I was soooooo excited. I convinced myself he''d gone to fetch a ring. Anyway, turns out he''d let his phone in the car


Since then I''ve convinced myself on many occassions that a proposal is coming and it''s gotten worse over time. The latest was Christmas Day. I was heartbroken but didn''t want to spoil the day so I went to have a shower, played my music really loudly and cried and cried in the shower. Things did seem a little better afterwards.

Keep you chin up sweetie



And Winks_Elf! Tomorrow?? That''s sooooo exciting!!
 
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