Becoming obsessed with jewellery....

[Ally T]

Is this normal / natural / acceptable ??

Since I discovered this site in my quest to research a new fancy cut diamond for my replacement engagement ring, it has almost taken over my life I settled on a pear, I researched, I learned, I looked at some of your lovely pears, I found my dream diamond & recently had my dream setting made for it. I have owned this diamond since mid- June & already I feel DSS setting in! It is only small by comparison to some of the stunning pieces on here, at 1.02 carats, but it really is beautiful. So why would that be?

I am a stay at home mummy & now spend every spare minute I have around looking after my two small girls, looking on this site, checking out pics, looking at stones, educating myself more, and now have got myself to the point where I want a RHR project of my own??! I get super excited when something new pops up in SMTB & can't wait to oggle!

I have always loved jewellery & when I lived in New Zealand, my very unhappy but wealthy relationship provided me with beautiful pieces. I have been back in the UK for almost 8 years, met & married the man of my dreams & have a family. Out of respect for my husband, i sold everything from NZ on Ebay. Whilst we are by no means poor & have a very enviable life, I am not at liberty to spend on jewellery as we are saving for the girls, holidays etc. I even have my eye on diamondhoarder's multi colour stack in pre-loved, desperately wanting it on my hand like a spoiled child! I showed my husband but he just said no. He has spent several thousand pounds on my new pear & it's new setting, and pointed out that I should be happy for a LONG time with my new addition. But I don't think I am going to be

Is this normal or am I a bit weird??

 

[JewelFreak]

You're normal, Alex, sigh. Almost everybody here has been been Pricescoped. The more you look & learn, the more you desire to have on your own paw. When I see some things, I want them so much it's almost physical! I realize that no matter what I had, how magnificent it was, there would always be the next thing I couldn't live without. Also that, whatever makes me drool, another just as beautiful will come along & by then I may be able to afford it.

The wanting is really a big part of the pleasure (and pain!), I find. Keep your eye on Pre-Loved -- maybe something will come along there when you can make a case for a special occasion or birthday -- any excuse your DH will buy. In the meantime, it's fun to enjoy! You have plenty of company here.

--- Laurie

 

[justginger]

This is entirely normal. It has happened to us all. The key is getting to the point that you understand that you CAN'T have it all, so you must prioritize what you get. Many have learned that the thrill of the hunt, the searching and planning, are a good portion of the happiness that comes with new bling. If you are able to get whatever you want at the drop of a hat, it loses its fun. Pick a project to complete in the next year or two (perhaps as a combined birthday, Christmas, Mother's Day present), and enjoy the drawn out process. I think this is a healthy way to handle the bling obsession.

I only wish I could follow my own rational advice!

 

[SB621]

Yup I think JF said it best. I also find it helps for me to walk away from PS for a while. It resets your brain back into "normal" mode.

 

[missy]

I am definitely jewelry obsessed. I wasn't like this when I was younger however but after my dh and I got engaged I started getting jewelry on the brain for some reason. Even before PS but PS just added fuel to my fire and now not a day goes by that I am not admiring and/or dreaming about jewels! If I was smart I would stop purchasing so much and save for one really big diamond but I just do not have that self control. So while I do not buy everything I want I am happy with what I do purchase and dream about what I might one day get and in the meantime enjoy PSers amazing bling.

 

[Ally T]

Thanks ladies. I was kind of getting worried!

Part of me wishes I had kept all my old bling as some of it was beautiful & i daydream about what I could re-set those stones into However we did have a lovely Caribbean holiday & I got a new car with the proceeds.

I like the idea of accumulating Birthday & other gift 'money' that husband would be spending & put it all into making something. He does indulge me from time to time though. When our first daughter was born we bought a perfect 1 carat oval hot pink sapphire (unheated or treated) & had it set into a simple platinum ring with her name & DOB engraved inside, but we haven't as yet done anything for daughter number 2 & she turns 2 next week I'd like an emerald for her.

I do have a couple of nice things that he's bought over the years: a 40 point floating diamond platinum pendant to match studs that I already had, a 3 diamond garland ring, the pink sapphire & my full eternity ring after i had number 2, but I think my tastes are more blingy & more regular than he gifts them

But in the meantime as you say, I shall continue to drool over your beauties.
Justginger - how many carats is Poppy?

 

[GemFever]

I agree with the others that we all go through about the same process of obsessively desiring jewelry. It bothers me a good deal, since I spend all my spare cash on it. Luckily I have a job and no kids, so I don't feel too guilty spending on myself. But I'd love to be a SAHM in the future. When I'm in that place... I'd probably have to quit PS, never browse ebay, etc., because my DH is not the jewelry buying type. Although... if I didn't buy anything for myself, I think he could be persuaded to buy me something nice once a year We could probably agree on what sum per year he could spend on bling for me, and then it would be up to me to decide whether I want a few smaller pieces, or something big saved up over several years... This hypothetically sounds like a great plan, but for now... how do I wait *years* for a bling purchase? Gotta practice that self control! Patience is a good life skill to develop, right?

From my experience, a good way to deal with wanting everything is to go out and actually look at the things you want physically on your hand. I once wanted a few vintage Soviet rings, but after I tried some on... meh. So that saved me hundreds of dollars. Then, when you find something truly perfect that you love on your hand/ears/neck -- it will be worth it to set a goal and keep your eyes on the prize, without getting sidetracked (haha, or so I tell myself!). And lastly... in my experience, getting something truly perfect does keep you happy for a long time. This summer I spent a crazy (for me) amount of money on earrings, but they are *my perfect one and only* earrings and I haven't wanted anything else for my ears since. Worked like a charm. Too bad I'm not quite there with my ring yet So I'd say only buy things with a good return policy and don't keep anything you are not absolutely head over heels with.

Good luck Alex! And good luck to me, too

 

[emeraldluvr]

Its completely normal. You just fell in love with a ring, it happens lol. I wish you the best!

 

[SB621]

Justginger - how many carats is Poppy?

I want to say Poppy is 4.6cts or something in that range and is perfection in my eyes!! Plus it looks even larger on Ginger's tiny 3.75 finger. Instead of saving money for jewels I should look into finger lipo

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Is this normal or am I a bit weird??

You're normal for PS world, but not normal for REAL world! lol We love jewelry here, but in reality, most people don't spend hours a day discussing jewelry or looking at photos of bling! Over time, I've learned to keep my interest to myself because some people don't understand. Those people are not cool like we are!

 

[SB621]

Is this normal or am I a bit weird??

You're normal for PS world, but not normal for REAL world! lol We love jewelry here, but in reality, most people don't spend hours a day discussing jewelry or looking at photos of bling! Over time, I've learned to keep my interest to myself because some people don't understand. Those people are not cool like we are!

My FIL could talk about fishing all day, everyday to everyone....he doesn't even take the extremely LOUD social cues people give off that they have no interest. I'll take my jewelry obession over a fish obession everyday! Now that puts life into perspective!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Is this normal or am I a bit weird??

You're normal for PS world, but not normal for REAL world! lol We love jewelry here, but in reality, most people don't spend hours a day discussing jewelry or looking at photos of bling! Over time, I've learned to keep my interest to myself because some people don't understand. Those people are not cool like we are!

My FIL could talk about fishing all day, everyday to everyone....he doesn't even take the extremely LOUD social cues people give off that they have no interest. I'll take my jewelry obession over a fish obession everyday! Now that puts life into perspective!

Yep, people create their own realities and often project them on others like they live that life too! I have a relative who does this and I have to sit and nod my head pretending like that subject is of interest to me. My kids have to go along with it too. lol! It would be fine, but now they are given gifts representing that person's interest. They would rather have Legos. I think they'd even rather be given diamonds then what they got. hahaha!

 

[yennyfire]

Is this normal or am I a bit weird??

You're normal for PS world, but not normal for REAL world! lol We love jewelry here, but in reality, most people don't spend hours a day discussing jewelry or looking at photos of bling! Over time, I've learned to keep my interest to myself because some people don't understand. Those people are not cool like we are!

My FIL could talk about fishing all day, everyday to everyone....he doesn't even take the extremely LOUD social cues people give off that they have no interest. I'll take my jewelry obession over a fish obession everyday! Now that puts life into perspective!

Yup, I'd take jewelry over fish anyday!! Anyone who's been on PS a while has gone thru this phase. My best piece of advice is to not do anything in haste. I bought (or DH bought for me) a 3.5 carat cushion and we set in a 3 stone setting, making the ring well over 5 carats. While it was great here on PS, it just didn't suite my lifestyle or social circle and I ended up selling it. My rings are still fairly large compared to most of the people I meet, but they are within the realm of my reality and I'm comfortable wearing them. Ask yourself if you REALLY see yourself wearing something before you buy it. Sadly, we all know that you lose a LOT of $$ selling jewelry, so it's best to be patient and wait to see if a "bug" passes before you indulge. I remind myself of this every time someone posts something new that makes my heart go pitter patter. Most of the time, if I wait a few weeks, I realize that I don't need/want another piece and that the money would be much better put towards retirement or college funds. Now, if both of those things were fully funded, it might be another story.....

 

[diamondseeker2006]

So true, Sarah! (About preferring a jewelry obsession over fish!!!)

Yep, we are an obsessed bunch here. I am fortunate that my husband really doesn't care what I buy, so that leads me to probably spend more than I should on the great deals I find! But as much as I hate to say it, if your hubby isn't on board with jewelry purchases, being here may make you unhappy. So you will have to weigh that out. Most of us do have limits, though, and there are always lots of people here with bigger and better things! I frequently have to do a mental reality check, though, because the people I know in real life do not have the jewelry that I do.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Yup, I'd take jewelry over fish anyday!! Anyone who's been on PS a while has gone thru this phase. My best piece of advice is to not do anything in haste. I bought (or DH bought for me) a 3.5 carat cushion and we set in a 3 stone setting, making the ring well over 5 carats. While it was great here on PS, it just didn't suite my lifestyle or social circle and I ended up selling it. My rings are still fairly large compared to most of the people I meet, but they are within the realm of my reality and I'm comfortable wearing them. Ask yourself if you REALLY see yourself wearing something before you buy it. Sadly, we all know that you lose a LOT of $$ selling jewelry, so it's best to be patient and wait to see if a "bug" passes before you indulge. I remind myself of this every time someone posts something new that makes my heart go pitter patter. Most of the time, if I wait a few weeks, I realize that I don't need/want another piece and that the money would be much better put towards retirement or college funds. Now, if both of those things were fully funded, it might be another story.....

Yep, I've been here since 2003, so I can say I've seen A LOT of upgrades, people changing out settings, trading/selling, rebuying, remorse, happiness, EVERYTHING! It's put it all in perspective. Fact is, I love a lot of what I see, but would never wear it. I guess I am lucky in that I have figured out what my "must-have" pieces are and with those, am happy. That is why my wish list is very short!

 

[SB621]

[quote="MC|1357922910|3353063

Yup, I'd take jewelry over fish anyday!! Anyone who's been on PS a while has gone thru this phase. My best piece of advice is to not do anything in haste. I bought (or DH bought for me) a 3.5 carat cushion and we set in a 3 stone setting, making the ring well over 5 carats. While it was great here on PS, it just didn't suite my lifestyle or social circle and I ended up selling it. My rings are still fairly large compared to most of the people I meet, but they are within the realm of my reality and I'm comfortable wearing them. Ask yourself if you REALLY see yourself wearing something before you buy it. Sadly, we all know that you lose a LOT of $$ selling jewelry, so it's best to be patient and wait to see if a "bug" passes before you indulge. I remind myself of this every time someone posts something new that makes my heart go pitter patter. Most of the time, if I wait a few weeks, I realize that I don't need/want another piece and that the money would be much better put towards retirement or college funds. Now, if both of those things were fully funded, it might be another story.....

OK Yenny where were you when I joined PS? I think my eyes got huge when i first got here and I bought many items (mostly CSs) and now 3-4 years later I'm selling them all because I don't wear them or this just arent' my taste. It was a huge mistake and I just wish I had figured out a bit more of my lifestyle/ my own personal style and what worked for me before I just bought things.

AND DID YOU POST THIS 3CT STUNNER? LINK ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think with time OP you will learn to love to look at other people's items but not have any interest in actually owning them. It took me several years to get to that place though.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

I think with time OP you will learn to love to look at other people's items but not have any interest in actually owning them. It took me several years to get to that place though.

Yeah, a quick way to get over a style is to try it on in the store. There have been styles I've drooled over and often when I try them on in person, they do not look right on my hand or the cut of the stone makes my knuckles look extra knucklily. That makes it easier to say, "oooh, pretty" to the person who owns it, but not become obsessed with hoping to own something similar. There was one item I absolutely LOVED on screen, did try it on in person and it looked great, and I had a custom copy made, but that is overall, very rare. More often, I will try an item on and know I'd never wear it with my lifestyle!

 

[minousbijoux]

Yes, its normal! But be careful! You know one of the weird things that happen is that your tastes and desires change over time. I have seen things, coveted them and gotten them, and then over time, not appreciated them any more, or maybe a better term is outgrown them. I know it might be hard now, but keep looking, keep making your list and saving photos, and see if it doesn't morph as time goes by. If it does, you can be pleased that you didn't buy...just a rationalizing thought

 

[yennyfire]

[quote="MC|1357922910|3353063

Yup, I'd take jewelry over fish anyday!! Anyone who's been on PS a while has gone thru this phase. My best piece of advice is to not do anything in haste. I bought (or DH bought for me) a 3.5 carat cushion and we set in a 3 stone setting, making the ring well over 5 carats. While it was great here on PS, it just didn't suite my lifestyle or social circle and I ended up selling it. My rings are still fairly large compared to most of the people I meet, but they are within the realm of my reality and I'm comfortable wearing them. Ask yourself if you REALLY see yourself wearing something before you buy it. Sadly, we all know that you lose a LOT of $$ selling jewelry, so it's best to be patient and wait to see if a "bug" passes before you indulge. I remind myself of this every time someone posts something new that makes my heart go pitter patter. Most of the time, if I wait a few weeks, I realize that I don't need/want another piece and that the money would be much better put towards retirement or college funds. Now, if both of those things were fully funded, it might be another story.....

OK Yenny where were you when I joined PS? I think my eyes got huge when i first got here and I bought many items (mostly CSs) and now 3-4 years later I'm selling them all because I don't wear them or this just arent' my taste. It was a huge mistake and I just wish I had figured out a bit more of my lifestyle/ my own personal style and what worked for me before I just bought things.

AND DID YOU POST THIS 3CT STUNNER? LINK ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think with time OP you will learn to love to look at other people's items but not have any interest in actually owning them. It took me several years to get to that place though.

Sarah, it was the 3 stone that had the 3.5 cushion with trap sides and melee...I traded the cushion for my oval and sold the setting via JBeg, so no new stone to share.

 

[Laila619]

It's normal (but not necessarily healthy!). Before I came to PS, I was perfectly happy with my e-ring, and even thought it was, dare I say, big at 0.98 carats. Then I found PS, and I became obsessed with diamonds and getting a bigger one. So I bought a 1.80 carat stone, but quickly realized after owning it that I didn't need a large diamond after all and that it wasn't making me happy. At the end of the day, it's fun to ogle bling but if you want my advice, I'd say just keep things in perspective. Jewelry is a fun hobby, but there are so many other important things in life. Plus I find the older I get, the more I want to spend my money on other things, like stuff for the home, the kids, college funds, vacations, new furniture, dining out, etc. Bling has kind of taken a back seat.

 

[ClassyRocks]

This is a great thread!

OP, you are certainly not alone! I totally get where you are coming from! I have loved jewelry since I was a little girl. . . . both looking at and wearing it! For myself, PS is relaxing for the most part. However, I have had to take a breaks from looking. Simply put, my priorities get out of order . . . that's my red flag!

Other members have already said this, but there will always be someone who has something better or bigger or more whatever! I have to remind myself of that a lot! Also, I don't mean to sound "preachy" when I say this, but bling is not worth rifts/arguments in a relationship/marriage IMO. I hope that didn't come out the wrong way!

 

[SB621]

Yenny- I got that it was an old ring but I only remember your oval. now I"m going to go look through your topics because I'm curious what it looked like!

 

[GemFever]

Yes, its normal! But be careful! You know one of the weird things that happen is that your tastes and desires change over time. I have seen things, coveted them and gotten them, and then over time, not appreciated them any more, or maybe a better term is outgrown them. I know it might be hard now, but keep looking, keep making your list and saving photos, and see if it doesn't morph as time goes by. If it does, you can be pleased that you didn't buy...just a rationalizing thought

Well put! I've noticed this in myself too, that I outgrow things (quite rapidly, too!). Making a list of things you *almost* spent money on but didn't sounds like a great idea too. It's like visual proof of self-restraint and determination (for me it's about not spending on smaller things and saving for something bigger that I am less likely to outgrow in 6 months).

 

[Ally T]

Thank you, thank you everyone. I feel a bit more normal now!

Some really great points mentioned.
MC - Funny you should mention that. I have always drooled over my friends perfect 1 carat, D colour VVS1 Tiffany RB solitaire diamond engagement ring. I tried it on & it didn't look nice ON ME, even though I had lusted after it for a couple of years before I asked her if I could have a go. It made my long fimgers look stumpy? And now she drools over my 1.02 carat pear cut, which is a fat pear so faces up larger than her RB, and I chuckle & think how the tables have turned

Here where I am in Cheshire, UK, unless you are married to a footballer in this area, you generally are lucky to wear a 1ct diamond ring. I feel that in perspective to my lifestyle I could show something a bit bigger, but I only have 2 friends with a 1 ct stone. The upgrading thing after several years of marriage is not generally done here, so the e-ring stays original but the RHR gets better as time passes. I'm sad but also happy that my original ring was beyond repair & I got my new diamond

I am not in a position to buy too much bling at the moment, as DH left his company in Sept to start his own business so we are on financial lock down. He is great as what he does, had a fab job before, we are financially cushioned & he took the leap of faith in doing it for himself & not lining somebody else's pockets. I am sure one day I shall be substantially better off than at present & until then, I shall keep looking & drooling, but not neccessarily buying (unless he comes good & buys me diamondhoarder's wavy stack!) I have just treated myself with a Tiffany Paloma Picasso Hearts pendant in silver with the small diamond in the centre as a Christmas gift from my mother in law, and I'm very much looking forward to it arriving

But blimey, I would love to try on Poppy!!!

 

[yennyfire]

Yenny- I got that it was an old ring but I only remember your oval. now I"m going to go look through your topics because I'm curious what it looked like!

I'll save you the time..

 

[justginger]

Thank you, thank you everyone. I feel a bit more normal now!

Some really great points mentioned.
MC - Funny you should mention that. I have always drooled over my friends perfect 1 carat, D colour VVS1 Tiffany RB solitaire diamond engagement ring. I tried it on & it didn't look nice ON ME, even though I had lusted after it for a couple of years before I asked her if I could have a go. It made my long fimgers look stumpy? And now she drools over my 1.02 carat pear cut, which is a fat pear so faces up larger than her RB, and I chuckle & think how the tables have turned

Here where I am in Cheshire, UK, unless you are married to a footballer in this area, you generally are lucky to wear a 1ct diamond ring. I feel that in perspective to my lifestyle I could show something a bit bigger, but I only have 2 friends with a 1 ct stone. The upgrading thing after several years of marriage is not generally done here, so the e-ring stays original but the RHR gets better as time passes. I'm sad but also happy that my original ring was beyond repair & I got my new diamond

I am not in a position to buy too much bling at the moment, as DH left his company in Sept to start his own business so we are on financial lock down. He is great as what he does, had a fab job before, we are financially cushioned & he took the leap of faith in doing it for himself & not lining somebody else's pockets. I am sure one day I shall be substantially better off than at present & until then, I shall keep looking & drooling, but not neccessarily buying (unless he comes good & buys me diamondhoarder's wavy stack!) I have just treated myself with a Tiffany Paloma Picasso Hearts pendant in silver with the small diamond in the centre as a Christmas gift from my mother in law, and I'm very much looking forward to it arriving

But blimey, I would love to try on Poppy!!!

If you ever make it down under, you are more than welcome to fondle her to your heart's content. Sarah was right, she's 4.65 carats, and my ring size is a 3.25 (though I think it should probably be sized down to a 3 - it's summer now and my fingers aren't swelling like I thought I remembered them doing).

Honestly though, there are both bigger and more beautiful rings than Poppy here - some of our older members (I mean length of time on PS, NOT age of poster!) have some INCREDIBLE collections. It goes to show you...there is always something bigger and better than what you have. The challenge is identifying what will make you the happiest for the longest period of time, and then zeroing in on achieving it.

As others have said, jewelry is never worth marital discord. My DH is amazingly patient with my 'gimme, gimme, gimme' attitude with jewelry. He knows I am financially minded and will not overspend, so sees it as a funny quirk in an otherwise level headed lady.

 

[Circe]

I think it's normal, but I have an obsessive personality. I mean, I got a Ph.D. in my favorite genre - this is just how my brain works. So, small wonder I'm a little monomaniacal hobby-wise, too.

That said, I think it can always be redirected. I adore jewelry, but when I was shorter on cash, I studied silversmithing and just made my own (still do, actually), and bought pretty costume pieces. Got a little richer, started collecting antique paste jewels. And, on special occasions - hubba hubba - the good stuff comes out!

When it comes to both my own mental health and satisfaction, and the delicate art of introducing one's weird obsessive hobby to a loved one, I feel like patience is key. I've spent the 6 years I've been married building my hoard slowly, and absolutely reveling in each piece. Consequently, I'm content for long periods of time, and my husband has learned that these things are totally worth it in terms of the happiness they provide, for me, and for him in seeing me all gleeful. Win-win!

P.S. - helps to be a bargain hunter. Demelza put it really well in her last thread when she said her new policy was to not buy what she didn't know she could resell for at least what she paid, if not more.

 

[Polished]

I had a latent interest in jewelery for years, so once it's unleashed it wants to go mad! I quite agree with the view expressed here of really wanting something but as time passes, you realise the piece while beautiful, wasn't really you and you're glad you didn't get it. While loving jewelery I also love the feeling of being content, as I find this frees you to actually enjoy the pieces you do have that you love and I find It also promotes an attitude of being grateful for having it. Is part of the obsession with jewelery tied up with imagining the next piece is going to be "better" than the last or the one that is finally going to make you happy or does each piece bring it's own love - a bit like children!

 

[Ally T]

Justginger, I have been lucky enough to visit Oz several times over the years, especially when I was living in NZ - it became a monthly weekend away But back in the UK, small babies put a stop to long haul for a while

I am revelling in my wedding set since I had the pear a new custom made home done, so I think it may keep me happy for quite a while. But I do keep seeing yummy mummies in the local coffee shops who all seem to have a beautiful wedding set AND a very blingy RHR. They all seem to generally have a wide, flat type of diamond encrusted band & I can't help but take sneaky looks at their hands! My DH is understanding of my 'hobby' and every time I do my Birthday or Christmas lists I always have jokingly written at the bottom "anything with diamonds in" but it's just our current situation that puts a hold on anything overly expensive. You're all right too, of course, in that taste change as the years pass, so I think I may make a list as suggested here, to see what I still think I may want this time next year, or in years to come