Beach wedding ideas...something a little different

[lucyandroger]

Hi ladies,

I know you ladies are very creative so I'm looking for some ideas. My FI and I are planning a beach wedding on the Jersey Shore for next spring. This was going to be the first beach wedding in either of our families and everyone was looking forward to something a bit different.

Well, FI's cousin just got engaged and they've decided they'd also like a beach wedding at the Jersey Shore next spring. Soooo...I'm now looking for some creative ideas to personalize and differentiate our weddings. The other couple hasn't set the date yet but FI's cousin's GF was pretty upset when we got engaged (they had been together for 9 years with no imminent plans for engagement) so I have a feeling she wants to have the wedding before ours.

So any ideas to personalize our wedding a bit more...still make it somewhat unique (at least to our families...I know the beach wedding is not a unique concept)?

ETA - I'm primarily talking about the ceremony...which obviously is much more important to me than the reception.

Thanks!

 

[getting excited]

Invite Snookie!


Hehe just kidding. I would try to incorporate you and your fiance as much as possible. That way the wedding is truly about you as a couple. Maybe use different pictures of you for thetable numbers, or use places you have been as a couple, etc. If you incorporate yourselves, there will be no way that it will be like theirs.

 

[MissMina]

Is there a way you could get married on the water itself?

 

[lucyandroger]

getting excited - You know I've never even seen the show! I always hear about it but I've never seen an episode. I'm so out of touch!

MissMina - We actually are getting married right on the beach...so are they...

I guess I just don't want FI's family to show up and think "didn't we just do this a few weeks ago (or days ago)?"

 

[wannaBMrsH]

You know, when FI and I decided to get married (LONG before we were engaged) we always wanted a beach wedding. We never talked about ANYTHING but a beach wedding to each other, to our families, to our friends...to everyone! Well, by the time we were finally engaged, we'd already been to two destination weddings and had been invited to about 3-4 more...I was really freaking out.

But in the end, we made our wedding all about us and our loved ones. To this day, ours was the one that had the most people (we had 45 guests in the Dominican Republic) and everyone talks about how amazing all the special touches were. We gave out bags that said Punta Cana on them and had our wedding monogram on them (minus our names or initials or dates) and mugs with the same monogram on them and I still see people use them a year later when we go to pool parties, etc.

We incorporated as many people as we could in our wedding: from ring bearer, to readers, to people we asked to speak at our wedding. Even now, people STILL tell us that they truly felt like family at our event. They always ask us about our families and our families ask about our friends...I know for a fact, none of the other brides managed to get that result because I hear them complain about it.

My advice to you is to REALLY focus on the love you and your fiance have for each other and focus on how grateful you are for your family and friends to be willing to share such an amazing time in your life with you.

Oh! And DON'T share vendor information with your cousin! It's one thing for them to know what venue you are using, but truly let them find their own caterer, photographer, band, officiant, etc. Remember, that they WILL pick a date right before yours and if you plan their wedding for them, then people WILL have seen your wedding just a few days, or weeks ago!

 

[lucyandroger]

MrsH, thank you so much for your post. I can't help but be a little bummed about the situation but it's great to hear that you (and your guests!) still loved the way your day turned out. My FMIL doesn't understand why we are concerned at all - she actually suggested we all book the same vendors and try to get a discount! We would never ever say anything to FI's cousin but judging from the way his GF acted when we got engaged, I can't help but think that some of this was malicious.

I love the idea of incorporating more people into the wedding - personal stories and readings picked out by friends are certainly something that can't be copied.

 

[MissMina]

How many guests are you planning on and how formal will your ceremony be?
Here are some ideas you might be able to modify.

Orient your seating differently that the usual "you face the shore guests face the sea".
Maybe diagonally? That will change the look of the venue.

Forgo seating altogether and have your guests surround you as you say your vows.
(If the ceremony will be short and there are not many guests)

Seat guests on beach blankets (they won't forget your wedding)

Do not share any wedding info. Tell anyone who asks that you want it to be a surprise.

Hopefully she will have her wedding first so you can tweak details in the opposite direction.

 

[Should Be Studying]

In keeping with the different seating suggestions, depending on how casual/formal you plan for it to be, I saw a wedding where they just used bright colored cushions on the floor and it looked beautiful. It wasn't on a beach, but maybe sitting on cushions or pillows would be cool. http://www.miamiweddingplannerblog.com/spice-of-love-cultural-nuances/ (Scroll down for pics of the pink and orange cushions).

I was also looking at some beautiful engagement pictures taken in Haiti, and there are some in canoes that are really beautiful. http://ktmerry.com/blog/files/haitilove.html Could you possibly incorporate a canoe into the decor somehow? Maybe fill it with flowers or something like that?

Either way, I think it will be distinct because every wedding is shaped by the couple, so I wouldn't stress it too much.

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

Hi Lucy

We got married on the beach in March this year. I wouldn't say that we did anything really different than most beach weddings but i thought i would post my non pro thread for you, you may get some ideas!

post135830.html#p135830

My colours were silver white and yellow (very beachy) and we used Bali flags to decorate the beach without distrupting the view. I had fresh frangipani flowers EVERYWHERE, all over the sand, in cones for people to throw at us, on the tables and decorating the chairs.
It was extremely hot down the beach so we provided beer, champagne, water and orange juice for everyone. Another idea is to provide parasols (shade from the sun) and flip flops (for those in heels) to wear. I also had live music as well, which i think helped add to the atmosphere.

Make the day about you and your FI and it will be different to the other beach wedding. I honestly think it is a good idea if your wedding is the second beach one too, that way you can make sure that they are very different.

 

[JerseyGrl81]

We got married on the beach in Bermuda. A tradition they have there is a sand ceremony. It is similar to the idea of a unity candle, but instead you use two different colored sands and pour them into one jar. If you google "Sand Ceremony" there will be a lot of information on it.

 

[lucyandroger]

MissMina - thanks for coming back with the suggestions! Love the idea of orienting the ceremony diagonally and that's actually our plan. Good point that having hers first will actually allow me to go in a different direction. The only problem is that FI's aunt, mother of the cousin, was in on a lot of the initial planning. Everything's a secret from now on!

ShouldBeStudying - thanks for the ideas! I love the colors in that first link! Cushions could be fun, especially for the kids.

hawaiianorangetree - Your wedding was absolutely gorgeous! Thank you for sharing so many ideas. We're definitely going to do live music and I want to look into providing beverages on the beach and flip flops - I think the guests would really appreciate that.

JerseyGrl81 - Thanks! I took a look at some sand ceremonies and they seem really sweet. I think that would be a great idea to personalize one and add it to the ceremony.

 

[wannaBMrsH]

A couple of other ideas depending on how much time and money you have available to you:

Custom design your invitations and stationary. We hired a graphic designer to create a monogram suite for us. It cost us $75 dollars, but she gave us all the raw files and taught me how to edit them. We translated all the English to Spanish as needed, but we used the monogram suite for out OOT bags and Mugs, for information packets we sent out before our trip, for our wedding programs, escort cards, menu cards and our thank you cards. Other people might have something similar, but no one had our monograms. Our graphic designer also designed our wedding invitations.

Select very personal food/cake. One of the destination weddings we went to featured the most delicious food! They served Argentinian Steak, with what seemed like steak fries, but WAY BETTER, and this amazing black bean soup with cheese. They served mojitos as their specialty drink. It turned out that was the meal they split on their first date! The wedding cake was an old family recipe of the brides (it was her grandmother's wedding cake) and the groom's cake was chocolate and cherry flavored and had a Gator on it to represent his Alma Mater. (This way even if your cousins DO select the same caterer, they can't select the same food...and if they do...they'll just look petty and silly)

Select Personal Music. For our wedding, DH picked out our song (I didn't even know he liked The Cure! Much Less 311!) and my father picked out our song. DH picked out his song to dance with his mother and I danced with my godfather to a song I chose as a surprise to him. If you and your sorority sisters have a special song, play it. If your DH and his friends always play "Another one bites the dust" when they get married, play it! If you know your parent's wedding song (and they are still married), play it. Surprise your grandfather with a song for him (if he is attending). Find a great song to end the evening with and play it. But make it a wonderful surprise and make sure that the songs are introduced properly so that people will remember them.

 

[freudianflip]

You mentioned that you wanted to make your ceremony in particular very personal and unique, how about having a close friend or family member officiate? My husband and I were recently married on a beach in Tulum, Mexico. We asked the friend that had introduced us to officiate our ceremony and it was wonderful, so personal and touching. We wrote our ceremony and vows, and there was not a dry eye in the house. Our guests are still talking about it.

Anyone can get a ordained through the website of the Univsersal Life Church (kind goofy, but that's how you do it!)

 

[megumic]

Go down to Seaside for your rehearsal welcome party. Would be such a blast with friends and family!

Have you chosen a venue? That might help us come up with some more creative ideas!

 

[lucyandroger]

MrsH - Thanks so much for the additional ideas! I think the monogram and personalized stationary is a great idea. I have a good friend who is an art director, so I'll ask her for some recommendations. The music is SUPER important to us so that will definitely be personalized. We have a lot of the important songs picked out already. We do have to give the food some thought. We have a tasting coming up in August.

freudianflip - Thank you for the idea! My FI and I were actually introduced by a mutual friend as well! And we dont' have an officiant yet. I really, really like this idea and it would be so fitting.

megumic - Thanks for your post. We already have our rehearsal venue picked out. It's a restaurant right on the boardwalk in Ocean City where we are getting married. Our ceremony is directly on the beach and our reception is at a yacht club. Is Seaside a restaurant?

 

[lucyandroger]

Okay, I've been going through thousands of beach wedding pictures I hope my FI's cousin isn't reading this beause I'm going to post one of the ideas I love

Giving the guests mini beachballs to toss in the air to celebrate after you're announced husband and wife. I think this is so cute.

 

[fieryred33143]

I love that idea!! The colors are awesome too. I'd just make sure someone is collecting the beach balls so it doesn't get into the ocean

 

[lucyandroger]

I love that idea!! The colors are awesome too. I'd just make sure someone is collecting the beach balls so it doesn't get into the ocean

Thanks, fiery! That's a good point. I'm sure a couple of my little cousins would love being designated ball collecters!

 

[MissMina]

Personalized Frisbees ?

http://www.myflyingdiscs.com/?gclid=CIL ... 5Qod7G6kdg

http://www.discountfavors.com/promotion ... lyers.html

 

[lucyandroger]

***UPDATE***

Well, the other couple set the date. Yes indeed, after dating for nine years they have decided that they MUST get married on the beach in New Jersey 3 weeks before my and my FI's previously planned and booked beach wedding in New Jersey.

If we were to change our plans, we would lose about $4 thousand at this point so we're moving ahead. I wanted to thank you ladies again for your ideas to make my wedding personal and unique. I figure that she's so focused on being first and copying me that her wedding is bound to stink compared to mine anyway!

I must say I really don't understand them though. They could still be first and have a lovely spring wedding elsewhere besides the beach or even have a winter wedding with a roaring fireplace! Now people are just going to compare the two weddings and neither of us will really have that special time and place. I'd be lying if I said it didn't make me sad.

 

[wannaBMrsH]

Aw, Lucy, that makes me really sad! I know I predicted that they WOULD choose a date right before yours, but honestly...how tacky!

My only recommendation at this point is to make sure that the people who are TRULY important to you (grandparents, special cousins, etc.) understand that you WANT them to be a part of your celebration. Try to take a deep breath and remember that most of the family that is out of town will have to choose one or the other wedding and unless you are planning on putting everyone in your bridal party or celebration in some way, some WILL have to choose one over the other. Please try not to be too disappointed when some choose theirs over yours. That is why it's so important that those special people know that they need to attend yours. Ask your favorite cousin now to be in your bridal party or do a special reading; Ask your grandfather now if he will dance that song that you two used to play when you were little; book airfare or hotel for your godparents if you can't imagine marrying without them.

I know it's stressful, but it is REALLY important that you start setting your secret plans in motion now and STOP sharing information about your wedding IMMEDIATELY! I'm sure it's hard, but you have to hold the surprises close to your heart or you will get to see them played out three weeks before your wedding.

I send you all my hugs and a special serenity prayer for the next few months!

 

[tyty333]

So bummed to hear this lucy...be sure to get your save the date cards out right away just in case people decide which one to go
to based on whos invite/save the date they got first. Plus, people will know you decided first because you are ahead in the planning
process. Please dont share any of your info/ideas with the other bride/groom.

 

[lucyandroger]

Thank you MrsH and tyty333 for your posts and support. Luckily we very much have the support of the family. We have gotten a few unsolicited phone calls already saying there is no way they are missing our wedding and that they are well aware that this couple is just being petty and jealous. Even the cousin's own mother is not speaking to him right now because she's so embarrassed about what he and his fiancee have done. It's a shame because it really could have been fun to have all the girls together planning weddings. It's nice to know the family does support us but it still doesn't change things.

We're working on the save the dates now. We're going to send them out ASAP, especially since the other bride already knows what ours are going to look like. We are not sharing one additional piece of information with anyone on that side of the family because we just don't want it getting back to the copy cat couple, even by mistake.

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

Oh lucy i am shocked! I'm so sorry that she is being so petty and doing this.

BUT, look on the bright side, 3 weeks is plenty of time to go to her wedding and then change anything about yours that you need to in order to make it different (read: better ) you definately have the upper hand on being the second wedding!

 

[lucyandroger]

Zoey - Thanks for the suggestions. We're definitely going to incorporate seashells in the decorations.

HOT - Thanks for your post! You're so right. Now that it's sunk in a bit, I've realized that there certainly are some advantages to having the second wedding...all of her mistakes will be my learning opportunities. Plus, it's going to be pretty cold down the shore in April so I have a weather advantage as well.