Bad Parent

[ForteKitty]

This may not be the worst story, but i was stunned:

We were on vacation in Maui, and had rented a condo. This complex had several buildings, and some were 6 floors tall. The one facing the pool had 6 floors.

While hanging out in the pool area, we heard, "hi mommy, when are you coming back up?" coming from somewhere far. Then we heard, "i'll come up when i come up. honey, get down from there" coming from behind me. I looked around and saw a woman lying face down on her belly, head facing away. Didn't see any kids. I looked around again, this time higher, and saw a little girl about 6 yrs old, standing on a chair on a 5th floor balcony, half hanging over. I turned around and looked at the woman who spoke earlier, and she was still on her belly. I looked up again, and the little girl is now off the chair and on the balcony railing. At the same moment, the lady in front of me woke up from her sleep, saw the little girl, and yelled, "get off that railing right now, you're going to fall off!"

The mom then gets up and started screaming, "are you talking to my daughter? i had that under control, my husband is in the room watching basketball. Don't you dare yell at her when i'm right here, have you no respect? i'm her MOTHER!!!"

The woman responded with, "People like you think nothing bad ever happens on vacation. Guess what, accidents happen, and if your daughter fell off, you would have been responsible. And guess what happens to the owners here? our insurance rates will go up. So get off your stomach and be a mother."

The mother continues screaming, saying she had it under control.

Woman reminds her that she was on her belly at the pool. Who's gonna catch the falling girl? The dad who didn't even bother to come out to see what the yelling was about because the NBA finals were on tv?

The mother screams some more about respecting her as a parent.

Finally the woman said, "Fine, you win. You're a great parent." and put her hat back on and picked up her book.

 

[labellavita81]

What the heck is wrong with people!!!????????

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I still remember the story of a couple getting caught having sex in their car with their two toddlers in the back seat. It is scary how come children are raised.

 

[iheartscience]

Wow, that's nuts. I like how the other woman handled it though!

 

[Italiahaircolor]

I love it! Thank goodness for people with big balls and no fear.

 

[swingirl]

Unfortunately, I am seeing more and more of this as parents try to protect their children from any form of discipline. Like some how discipline is interfering with their child's "rights". I was told off the other day by a parent when I asked their child to stay off a stage where a singer was performing. There were loose cables, speakers up on pedestals, and a person at a mic singing. But this parent thought their toddler should be up on the stage running around and dancing. She never saw the danger but DID see that I was out of line by looking out for her child. (Mom was no where to be found while Jr. was running around the stage. She popped up as soon as she saw me.)

I guess evolution has to do it's job.

 

[minmin001]

I just hope the little girl will grow up safely...

 

[AGBF]

Somehow I feel that, despite the heroic efforts of the "intruding" woman, that the child was left unprotected. I doubt I would have called child protective services myself, because-in reality-they are understaffed and overworked. They (most unfortunately) are trying to keep children from being starved and sexually molested in the foster homes where they are being placed to keep them from being killed in their homes of origin. Nonetheless, I feel that the child was left in danger. Our society doesn't value the welfare of children (or the poor or the elderly). Not in the United States.

Deb/AGBF


Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend

 

[ForteKitty]

My bf turned to me and said, "what a b!tch! i bet she'd sue the condos for not having a full cage if her daughter DID fall off the balcony!"

I just dont get it. If my kid was half hanging over a 5th floor balcony, i'd be: 1) pissed at my husband who is supposed to be watching the kid, 2) terrified that my kid's gonna fall off, 3) very embarassed that someone else had to step in because WE were terrible parents. Where did she get the nerve to scream at a stranger who cares more about the welfare of that child than the child's own mother??

I looked over the rental agreements afterwards and saw that there is a paragraph on safety and liability on the premise. I'd hate to rent to people, not knowing if they're responsible parents or not. There's really no "safe" place. if you're on a higher floor, the kid can climb over and fall off. If you're on the ground floor, the kid can run out the patio door and get hit by a car. Wonder how often accidents really happen?

On the bright side, we saw some amazingly well behaved children on the snorkeling tour. There were about 6-7 kids in one group and all were well mannered and very aware of the dangers of being on a boat in the open sea. The older ones kept the little ones from running around and bumping into people, and were full of excuse-mes and thank yous. We complimented their parents and they were so happy to hear it. One mom said it's the best thing a parent can hear these days! (this was way before the balcony incident so we weren't comparing!)

 

[asymons412]

My mom told me once about a time when she was at a fast food restaurant and saw a mother bringing lunch over to her daughter, who was already seated. She handed the girl her lunch and the young girl proceeded to have a fit about her milkshake, and snapped at her mother "I TOLD you I wanted VANILLA. NOT CHOCOLATE." To which the mother apologized, calmly got up and ordered a new milkshake. My mom was CONVINCED that the mother was going to dunk it over the child's head but was sorely surprised when the mother apologized again and again, and gave her daughter the correct flavor.

To this day, my mom reminds me that she's not afraid to dunk a milkshake over any of her children's heads.

 

[lbbaber]

I was at my son's T-ball game today and a mom on the other team yelled at her 6 or 7yr old child (in front of everyone, including MY kids ) "I am going to beat the f*ck out of you" All because the kids were running to the playground after the game.

She didn't even seem like it was a 'slip'....like she does it all the time. No apologies!

 

[labellavita81]

I was at my son's T-ball game today and a mom on the other team yelled at her 6 or 7yr old child (in front of everyone, including MY kids ) "I am going to beat the f*ck out of you" All because the kids were running to the playground after the game.

She didn't even seem like it was a 'slip'....like she does it all the time. No apologies!

I would have had to hold my tongue in that situation....... again I say ... WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!?

 

[iLander]

My mom told me once about a time when she was at a fast food restaurant and saw a mother bringing lunch over to her daughter, who was already seated. She handed the girl her lunch and the young girl proceeded to have a fit about her milkshake, and snapped at her mother "I TOLD you I wanted VANILLA. NOT CHOCOLATE." To which the mother apologized, calmly got up and ordered a new milkshake. My mom was CONVINCED that the mother was going to dunk it over the child's head but was sorely surprised when the mother apologized again and again, and gave her daughter the correct flavor.

To this day, my mom reminds me that she's not afraid to dunk a milkshake over any of her children's heads.

This is how my DIL was raised, and she is now a spoiled brat. One day her mom posted on her facebook wall a note saying "we didn't you appreciate you being a no-show for shopping when we set a time", etc. Then a couple of days later the mom posted "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, please answer my calls". She kept posting things like this for like a week.

She expects everyone to "respect her" and apologize to her for smallest slight, but she will not apologize for anything, ever. She's a narcissist. I don't know what my son sees in her, and one day when he's done bowing and scraping, fulfilling her every whim he might realize what a b!t$h he married. But I doubt it.

So, yeah, the mom at the fast food place is adding another beeach to the world. Thanks, mom.

 

[iLander]

I'm amazed that people need to get a license to FISH or DRIVE, but any moron can pop out a kid.

Ticks me off.

 

[AGBF]

To me the issue here is safety, not manners.

We can argue until the cows come home about the correct way to raise children: to treat them with the same respect with which we, as adults, would like to be treated or to teach them to respect adults more. In my opinion, both schools have produced courteous children when practiced by courteous adults.

The issue raised by the original posting by ForteKitty that alarmed me was not about courtesy, but about safety!!! In the instance described, it seems as if both parents had abrogated responsibility for a young child's safety so that they could pursue their own pleaure. They were endangering the welfare of a child, and there was no authority to whom anyone who saw their behavior could, realistically, turn. Probably the bystander should have called the police. At least it would have caused a stir.

Deb/AGBF

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I was thinking about this thread when I was at the pool with my DD. There is a HUGE children's pool and I am amazed by some parents who seem to be MIA. My daughter is 3.5 and pretty good in the water but I still watch her/follow her around the pool b/c drowning is always a possibility at her age. I see kids younger just hanging out by themselves. It is frightening.

 

[Amys Bling]

honestly, parenting just isnt the same anymore- if you can't be a good parent- why be one???

 

[Tacori E-ring]

honestly, parenting just isnt the same anymore- if you can't be a good parent- why be one???

I think there were always bad parents. This is not a new epidemic. Some of my friends have stories that would shock you.

 

[diamondringlover]

You know I just seen an incidence of bad parenting yesterday at the grocery store, there was a young couple and and baby in the cart, then as I was leaving these 2 kids around 2-3 were running thru the store and then ran upto the parents with the cart and baby...ok I was annoyed but whatever, but then I was leaving the store and this little boy around 4 was running across the street in front of the store, ALONE no one was around at all, I was appalled I stopped to make sure he made it safely and then he ran into the store and sure enough he was with the couple with the other badly behaved children and I then I heard the Mom yell, you should have looked before you ran across the street I was just appalled....and I remember another time I was at Meijer and I was looking at shoes and the dressing rooms was in that area and I heard some women talking very calmly to a child and then I heard smack and then another smack and then you could hear the child was crying but it sounding like she was holding her hand over the child's mouth and I think she smacked the kid aroud 8-10 times, I finally yelled at the women to stop hitting the child that she is abusing her and that I was going to call the police, she came out of dressing room and I was yelling at her, I was pissed, very pissed the store employee was there and she was on her way to call the police but the women put the kid in the cart and took off....I wish I could have done more to help that child but I had never been in that situation before and honestly didnt know what to do.

 

[AGBF]

I wish I could have done more to help that child but I had never been in that situation before and honestly didnt know what to do.

diamondrnglover-


First of all, it's not your fault that you couldn't control the situation!

Second of all, next time if you have a cell phone, call "911" immediately and report battery in progress. If you are in a large metropolitan area with high crime, no police may come, but you can tell the abuser you called for them. In a smaller town, the police will actually come. The long term situation may not improve for the child. (Sorry. It's the truth.) But the abuser may get some impulse control in public places and will, at least, come to the attention of the authorities.

You are a good, caring person.

Deb/AGBF

 

[chemgirl]

My mom told me once about a time when she was at a fast food restaurant and saw a mother bringing lunch over to her daughter, who was already seated. She handed the girl her lunch and the young girl proceeded to have a fit about her milkshake, and snapped at her mother "I TOLD you I wanted VANILLA. NOT CHOCOLATE." To which the mother apologized, calmly got up and ordered a new milkshake. My mom was CONVINCED that the mother was going to dunk it over the child's head but was sorely surprised when the mother apologized again and again, and gave her daughter the correct flavor.

To this day, my mom reminds me that she's not afraid to dunk a milkshake over any of her children's heads.

This is how my DIL was raised, and she is now a spoiled brat. One day her mom posted on her facebook wall a note saying "we didn't you appreciate you being a no-show for shopping when we set a time", etc. Then a couple of days later the mom posted "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, please answer my calls". She kept posting things like this for like a week.

She expects everyone to "respect her" and apologize to her for smallest slight, but she will not apologize for anything, ever. She's a narcissist. I don't know what my son sees in her, and one day when he's done bowing and scraping, fulfilling her every whim he might realize what a b!t$h he married. But I doubt it.

So, yeah, the mom at the fast food place is adding another beeach to the world. Thanks, mom.

Off topic, but Islander, I'm sorry for criticizing how you handled your DIL in your original post about her. At the time I was having MIL issues (bad behaviour that resulted in her skipping her son's wedding!) and I was projecting my situation on yours. I've recently had experience with the after effects of a controlling person and how it can split up a family. I sincerely hope your situation improves in the future.

Back on topic. The worst case of parenting I've ever seen was in Las Vegas last summer. We were at a resort and a couple with a 2-3 year old rented some of the cushy fancy pool chairs and proceeded to get hammered while their son was wandering around the edge of the pool. There was a lifeguard, but seriously, you just don't let a 2-3 year old play around the edge of a pool. The kid was leaning in to the pool to scoop out water with a discarded drink cup. I was on the edge of my seat the entire time worried that he would fall in. Something good did come out of it...the kid used the discarded drink cup to fill his parent's shoes with water. The fancy high heels and running shoes got a good 4 pints of water in them before the parents noticed what was going on!

ETA: they rented 2 pool chairs and were laying across them so there wasn't anywhere for the poor kid to sit down in the shade! I was annoyed, but didn't want to create a scene. Wish I'd said something though.

 

[nkarma]

I still remember the story of a couple getting caught having sex in their car with their two toddlers in the back seat. It is scary how come children are raised.

I personally would never do this but during much of our history and in a lot of places today where the whole family lives together in one room, it is not uncommon for the children to be nearby when the parents have sex.

 

[Kaleigh]

I am still upset at the Mom who left her baby in a hot car, and a dog.. While getting coffee.... I saw the baby in the car seat, and stayed by the car, thinking she'll be back soon... 5 minutes went by, so I called 911... Once she got her coffee, she saw me and said Oh puhleease he was asleep, so didn't want to bother waking him up...

And after that?? I got a ticket on the way home... Was going 35 in a 25.. I am so fighting that...

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I still remember the story of a couple getting caught having sex in their car with their two toddlers in the back seat. It is scary how come children are raised.

I personally would never do this but during much of our history and in a lot of places today where the whole family lives together in one room, it is not uncommon for the children to be nearby when the parents have sex.

I think the oldest child was 4 or 5. They were strapped in their car seats "watching." I believe the children were taken away. I think it is highly disturbing.

 

[chemgirl]

I still remember the story of a couple getting caught having sex in their car with their two toddlers in the back seat. It is scary how come children are raised.

I personally would never do this but during much of our history and in a lot of places today where the whole family lives together in one room, it is not uncommon for the children to be nearby when the parents have sex.

I think the oldest child was 4 or 5. They were strapped in their car seats "watching." I believe the children were taken away. I think it is highly disturbing.

This came up a few weeks ago when I was talking about co-sleeping with friends who have a one year old. They were saying they'd transition her to her own room when she's 7 or 8 so that she's old enough to understand and not be afraid. I asked how they were planning to do the deed while co-sleeping (I can be pretty crude after a few glasses of wine) and they said they do it after she's sleeping! I thought they meant in another room and they assured me that they were not leaving her alone! They thought it was fine! They planned to continue this practice until their daughter was transitioned to her own room. They're reconsidering after seeing the looks of horror on the faces of everyone at the table. We all assured them that a 7 year old would wake up and would know what was happening! Apparently they've read "scientific articles" that back up what they're doing

ETA: I'm not against co-sleeping, I was interested in the logistics and how it worked in practice. My issue is with people who think its ok to have sex in front of children.

 

[TravelingGal]

honestly, parenting just isnt the same anymore- if you can't be a good parent- why be one???

Of COURSE we need bad parents! How else am I supposed to feel good about myself and my parenting skills?

 

[Dreamer_D]

I can't say I am surprised by any of the stories. People can do appalling things to their kids.

Reminds me of a time I was on a Ferry and there is a kids play area there. Mostly its kids between 2-5 playing there, but sometimes 8-10 year olds get in and cause issues. A bigger kid was being a little unsafe the way he was using the slide apparatus, bowling over littler kids, including my son. I did not see his parents around. So the next time he started doing it, I went over to the bigger kid and got down and looked him in the eye and said, "Hon, you need to be more careful around these little kids ok? Move more slowly," the same way I would have said it to my own kid if he was being too rammy. The boy responded and looked really embarassed. A second later I see a chagrined looking father came over and gave me a sheepish smile then said to his kid, "Son, you know you are behaving badly when another parent needs to talk to you. Let's go." I thought that was funny.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

I was at my son's T-ball game today and a mom on the other team yelled at her 6 or 7yr old child (in front of everyone, including MY kids ) "I am going to beat the f*ck out of you" All because the kids were running to the playground after the game.

She didn't even seem like it was a 'slip'....like she does it all the time. No apologies!

I would have had to hold my tongue in that situation....... again I say ... WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!?

There is no way I would have held my tongue. I've very confrontational. But, then again, from experience, I've found that if you do try and express your thoughts to another parent, they will become defensive. In that situation, the best would have been to notify the hotel staff and let THEM handle it. It's their job to ensure guest safety, not yours. Let them be the ones to call in the authorities. For all we know the dad's version of "watching the game," is being passed out on the bed.

FWIW, once my kids were in a play area and a kid kept throwing a ball at my son and hitting him in the head. The mom was laying down text messaging, glances up, tells the kid that my son is a brat and to quit "playing" with him. So, I turned to her and told her to get off her phone and watch her kid! She ignored me and went back to her texting.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Chemgirl, OMG. That is horrible. Damage can be done to a child. I remember when my daughter was 2 this little boy kept tackling her and tried to kiss her. He was very aggressive and she was freaked out. I would bet a lot of money that he learned that behavior from his parents. It is inappropriate. I also don't believe in co-sleeping once the child is weened but that's just me. Boundaries are important to learn for healthy relationships.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Chemgirl, OMG. That is horrible. Damage can be done to a child. I remember when my daughter was 2 this little boy kept tackling her and tried to kiss her. He was very aggressive and she was freaked out. I would bet a lot of money that he learned that behavior from his parents. It is inappropriate. I also don't believe in co-sleeping once the child is weened but that's just me. Boundaries are important to learn for healthy relationships.

The 7/8 year old co-sleep....I have no way to comprehend that. I do know that parents actions REGARDLESS of where everyone is sleeping will impact the kids. My boys were at a friend's house (non-cosleepers) and the boy has a sister (then age 4) and she walked in the playroom room and held up her skirt and she didn't have any panties on and bared it all. My son came home and told my husband and my husband told me that the boys would never be allowed to spend the night at that family's house b/c he thought that's a sign of child abuse. Who knows what that girl saw to do that at such a young age...