Bad email

[Italiahaircolor]

I am totally keeping my fingers crossed for you this morning...as soon as I got to work I wanted to sprinkle you with a little *dust* for extra good luck today!

Remember, keep your emotions in check no matter what and know that you've done the absolute best job you can do...find comfort in that. If this principal can't see that you're trying and putting in 100% effort and that you're feeling your way through a new position, then better you find a place where you'll be warmly accepted and appreciated!

I hope this ladies heel breaks today or she gets a flat tire...she needs to learn how to treat people better and have a little consideration! I am still

that she brought this issue up in an e-mail over a weekend so you can just let it stew, and marinate and freak out...how inconsiderate of her. She totally deserves a broken heel!

 

[joflier]

Good luck. Hoping it goes well for you.

 

[Porridge]

Hope everything goes well for you today Elegant. I kind of hope your principal shows her true colours in front of the rep!

 

[pyramid]

I remember the first time something like this happened to me and it still affects me today and this happened in 1996/7.

Mine was not a permanent job so probably different.

However, I had started a temp job with Shell UK in Aberdeen in Scotland, as secretary to the Well Control Manager a Mr Gavin Humphreys. Anyway I had worked there all day and even had been told because the Secretary was going to be back working in afternoons, (had been off due to major health operation) I would be going to another dept to do other work and cover this job in mornings. I remember going to the mail room and this young woman was very unhelpful when I asked her where to put some mail etc. The afternoon of the second day, just before finish time, the personel manager came to me and said they thought I should leave because I was not bossy enough and Mr Humphrey needed someone more bossy. She then went on to say she wanted me to know there was nothing wrong with my work and she would not like to work for this position as he was quite a large profile manager. The funny thing is I worked the first afternoon with the secretary and she was not a bossy type of person at all. I remember that afternoon he had gone off about half an hour earlier and told me, to remember to lock up. I remember thinking what I locked up okay the night before, why say that?. They all knew this was going to happen obviously why else say to remember to lock up, oh and I did but with hindsight I should have left everything after she told me to go and let her lock it up.

Well the agency I worked for said it was just office politics but I did not know what exactly that meant. I sometimes still try to make sense of it, how could it be office politics when I never really knew them. Was it the woman in the mail room who wanted the job, was I really not bossy enough, although I had only seen Mr Humphrey for about two hours in total as he had been out a lot.

Well as for Shell UK guess what the next morning I get a phonecall from the agency to say the Secretary was calling wondering why I had not turned up for work that day, I told them the reason and they would speak to my agency person when she came in.

However for a major oil company to treat people like that and now more than 10 years on my confidence is shaken, I really think I should get compensation or something. ha ha. Oh and I wrote a letter to the Chief Executive and Mr Humphrey basically asking what happened and I never got a reply, nothing at all. However there was an office manager called Frances and I remember about one year after seeing this woman staring at me on the main Union Street in Aberdeen and realised I knew her face and then that it was this Frances who worked for Shell in Aberdeen. So you just never know who is behind things. I do know I did nothing wrong but it still does not put back the confidence they took away.

I never knew before this that companies treated people in this way but I do now.

I want the original poster to have all my wishes because I know how things like this feel. Maybe those colleagues want one of their friends to get your job.

 

[tlh]

Good luck elegant! Hopefully it is like smurfys dad says... just something stupid that they need you to have rep for...

 

[AmberGretchen]

Sending you good thoughts and dust today Elegant - I really hope it turns out OK, and I''m so sorry you are having to deal with this!

 

[Bia]

Also sending good thoughts, and the best possible outcome, to you!

((Hugs))

 

[Blair138]

SENDING GOOD VIBES!!

I am a teacher too and got a similar (though wasn''t asked to bring representation) email from my boss (not the principal, I am a high school teacher), first thing on a Monday morning. Basically she launched a personal attack on me. NOTHING she said was related to my teaching. I seriously had NO CLUE where this came from. This was a few weeks ago and I have been a nervous wreck every morning, I get sick to my stomach and have been losing weight. My boss'' demeanor is heinous and totally unprofessional and I am the type of person who cannot just brush that off.

It has gotten better, but this past week, I found out WHY she is doing this to me and it isn''t even something I did! She THINKS I said something that I didn''t! BUT, instead of coming to me, she told another person in the building and the principal! So much for professionalism...I am keeping notes and proof of things if this comes back to haunt me. I am so sorry you are going through this because I know how you feel!!!

Good luck with everything and update us please!!!

 

[bee*]

that''s awful Elegant. I hope that your meeting goes ok!

 

[Steel]

I hate crap like this.

....Sending positive wishes to you....

 

[Tuckins1]

I hope everything goes well for you! Don''t worry (if that''s possible) you have the union on your side!

 

[Rhea]

It''s a bit late for my good vibes, but I hope it went okay.

 

[IloveAsschers13]

I didn''t post before but as a future teacher, I am definitely intrigued by your situation! I hope it went well, and I hope you will come back and post and let us know that everything is okay..

 

[Elegant]

Sooo....

I'm sitting there with everyone at the table and my principal says she's been hearing things about me - my grade level complaining, some other teacher saying things about me, and an office staff person saying I said the "f" word in the office with parents around...all lies. My rep asks my principal if there has ever been a discussion before this and she said no and I guess my rep was satisfied with that. Basically my principal accused, I had to defend myself because my union rep was very quite so I assumed I better answer, and next week the principal will be setting up a meeting so that the grade level and the other teacher can talk and start over. I didn't have to sign any paper work but I agreed to the meetings for next week.

The back stabbing grade level teacher who I know told my principal all of these lies sits next to me today at the end of the day while we were meeting as a team and asks if everything is okay and would I like to talk about it. Another grade level teacher also asked me if I wanted to talk about it and I told both of them nicely that I didn't feel like talking about it. They pried but I just repeated that I didn't want to talk about it.

I'm sick and tired of trying to please my principal and show her how hard I am working when people around me are making up lies. And she is taking their word because I am the new one.

So I am still waiting for a call from my rep to discuss the severity of the issue and next steps.

I feel an extreme amount of hatred and I am at my wits end. All day long I couldn't wait to get out of there and just had a sick feeling in my stomach. I keep telling my bf that I want to resign really bad! I just don't feel like putting up with it anymore. Time for a career change. In my entire 8 years of teaching, I have never had a problem like this. Ever. I'm sick with disgust but I have to fake that I am happy everyday and never say a single negative thing ever - everything is just perfect and as soon as I walk on campus it is all smiles. I am a genuine person and hate being fake, but I guess that is what I will have to do...

Any suggestions?

Again, thanks so much for your concern.

 

[Elegant]

Date: 3/23/2009 6:20:59 PM
Author: Tuckins1
I hope everything goes well for you! Don''t worry (if that''s possible) you have the union on your side!

I''ve heard stories...unions are either helpful or not. My bf''s union sucks. You pay but get no representation. They are in with the system and somebody is paying off the other. Until I hear from my rep, I honestly don''t know what to say. You assume the union is on your side, right, but sometimes they aren''t.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Elegant, sending prayers and thoughts your way. This sounds like a frustrating and tough situation to say the least. These are pretty off-the-wall things being said about you.

Anyway, I don't really have any advice..I want you to work in a safe, and healthy environment..so I would recommend looking for another job, but looking for another career completely in this economy? I don't know. However I am afraid these allegations will follow you if you don't continue to try to resolve it and just resign instead. Does that make sense?

So in the meantime continue to follow the process that your rep recommends. I could be wrong though, and hopefully someone can clarify. Anyway, just take a deep breath..and take your time. You don't have to make a decision tonight.

ETA: Also sending hugs!

 

[Elegant]

Date: 3/23/2009 11:30:54 AM
Author: Blair138
SENDING GOOD VIBES!!

I am a teacher too and got a similar (though wasn''t asked to bring representation) email from my boss (not the principal, I am a high school teacher), first thing on a Monday morning. Basically she launched a personal attack on me. NOTHING she said was related to my teaching. I seriously had NO CLUE where this came from. This was a few weeks ago and I have been a nervous wreck every morning, I get sick to my stomach and have been losing weight. My boss'' demeanor is heinous and totally unprofessional and I am the type of person who cannot just brush that off.

It has gotten better, but this past week, I found out WHY she is doing this to me and it isn''t even something I did! She THINKS I said something that I didn''t! BUT, instead of coming to me, she told another person in the building and the principal! So much for professionalism...I am keeping notes and proof of things if this comes back to haunt me. I am so sorry you are going through this because I know how you feel!!!

Good luck with everything and update us please!!!

You know, this is why people don''t respect the profession...just purely uncivilized and unprofessional behavior. Even though I have kept notes, I don''t think it would even matter...that''s the worst part.

 

[Elegant]

Date: 3/24/2009 12:06:13 AM
Author: SarahLovesJS
Elegant, sending prayers and thoughts your way. This sounds like a frustrating and tough situation to say the least. These are pretty off-the-wall things being said about you.

Anyway, I don''t really have any advice..I want you to work in a safe, and healthy environment..so I would recommend looking for another job, but looking for another career completely in this economy? I don''t know. However I am afraid these allegations will follow you if you don''t continue to try to resolve it and just resign instead. Does that make sense?

So in the meantime continue to follow the process that your rep recommends. I could be wrong though, and hopefully someone can clarify. Anyway, just take a deep breath..and take your time. You don''t have to make a decision tonight.

ETA: Also sending hugs!

Yes, it makes sense. I will try to make an honest effort to make things right. I will try to act genuine. I will look for another job too.

 

[Blair138]

wow Elegant...sounds like we are in a similar situation. I have basically grown to hate my job this year because of the fact that I have to pretend that things are ''just peachy'' and to make matters worse, my ''friends'' have backstabbed and tattled on me a lot this year. Not for things that are any big deal, but they were made out to be by these so-called ''friends''. My boss is no help as she is just as immature and doesn''t even bother to ask ME about issues.

My advice is to just keep your mouth shut, it sounds like your co-workers want to get whatever they can out of you to use it against you. I learned my lesson the hard way. I now need to watch EVERYTHING I say, which I find utterly ridiculous. I feel like I am in grade school because all of my co-workers TATTLE SO MUCH. Try to do things that calm you down outside of work. The advice I give you is stuff that I am myself trying to do. I drink wine at night and try to stay as far removed from work after schools hours as possible.

I feel like no matter what I do, I''m screwed and I don''t feel like trying at anything anymore. It sounds like your boss might have her mind made up, but try and fight for yourself. You shouldn''t be made to feel the way you do, and I know how you feel. Sorry you are going through this! (((BIG HUGS!!))) Please come back and tell us how things go and good luck!

 

[Skippy123]

Oh gosh Elegant and Blair I am so sorry; I will keep you both in my prayers and hugs to you two.

 

[katamari]

Wow, Elegant. I am so sorry to hear about this. I think that if you feel it is time to move on, it is. I, too, would probably just fake it until the end of the year. I hope you are able to focus on how much better your life will be in your next position than it is now. ((((HUGS))))

 

[Deelight]

Date: 3/24/2009 12:07:45 AM
Author: Elegant

Date: 3/23/2009 11:30:54 AM

Author: Blair138

SENDING GOOD VIBES!!


I am a teacher too and got a similar (though wasn''t asked to bring representation) email from my boss (not the principal, I am a high school teacher), first thing on a Monday morning. Basically she launched a personal attack on me. NOTHING she said was related to my teaching. I seriously had NO CLUE where this came from. This was a few weeks ago and I have been a nervous wreck every morning, I get sick to my stomach and have been losing weight. My boss'' demeanor is heinous and totally unprofessional and I am the type of person who cannot just brush that off.


It has gotten better, but this past week, I found out WHY she is doing this to me and it isn''t even something I did! She THINKS I said something that I didn''t! BUT, instead of coming to me, she told another person in the building and the principal! So much for professionalism...I am keeping notes and proof of things if this comes back to haunt me. I am so sorry you are going through this because I know how you feel!!!


Good luck with everything and update us please!!!

You know, this is why people don''t respect the profession...just purely uncivilized and unprofessional behavior. Even though I have kept notes, I don''t think it would even matter...that''s the worst part.

I have to agree, I have most of a teaching degree finished but haven''t completed it yet but I have done pracs and community service in schools and some of the teachers there belong back in high school themselves - it is almost like some of them never evolve.

My first prac my supervising teacher stopped talking to me one day – no idea what I did but I know her students liked me and she didn’t like that – she also downgraded my results thankfully I still passed. She did however decide her new best friend was the other student teacher on prac with me because she wanted to set her up on a date with a friend of hers, she made my experience miserable.

In high school I was victimized by one teacher at school she was a complete and utter biotch (at the time I was 14 she was like 40) and she really went out of her way to make my life a living hell - I also gave back to her because she pushed my buttons so much – not the right thing to do I know now. I also know other teachers had to deal with similar things from this group of bullies. Years later I went back to that school and to do community service as part of my degree requirements and ended up in her staff room – nothing had changed she and her group of hags spent the time I sat there ganging up on me – even with other teachers present, the only thing that had changed was I grew up and didn’t want to play their game.

These people are just bullies.

Sounds like your acting like the adult and not playing their game, no matter how upset you are or don’t let them see and don’t react – breathe stay calm and don’t give them ammunition.

Keep documenting everything it can’t hurt your chances, but it will hurt your chances if there is no proof is there any way you can put in for a transfer – would that help?

I am so sorry your going through this.

 

[Steel]

What crap.

I am so sorry. In situations like this I very much hope karma has sharp teeth to bite them all in their a$$.

If I were you I would start to cover myself. Please go to your doctor to begin a report on this stress. Go today and ideally once a week until this mess gets sorted out. It will serve three functions, firstly to make sure that you are coping with any crap that gets slung your way, secondly to head off any comments from co-workers that your stress might interfere with your ability to do your job and thirdly in case the sh** hits the fan, you have an independent record of what happened and how it affected you step by step.

Please do this; you might feel silly but it is important IMHO.

 

[bee*]

I''m really sorry to hear what happened. Those teachers sound awful. Sending hugs.

 

[Ellen]

Date: 3/24/2009 6:16:02 AM
Author: bee*
I''m really sorry to hear what happened. Those teachers sound awful. Sending hugs.

What bee said.

 

[tlh]

Wow, this sounds horrible. I am sorry elegant, and everyone else that shared their stories, some people just do not behave with any sort of class or integrity.

 

[Bia]

Elegant, I''m not sure where you live but here in NYC surviving as a teacher is not easy. My department works with NYC public schools and the Dept of Ed "headquarters"--we''re like the middleman. Much of the problem relates to the mayoral control over the Dept. of Education. Principals are now being held accountable for so much that if they hear of the slightest problem, it''s a trip to their office, and many times, for the teacher, the news is not good. Realistically, gone are the days when principals had real control over their schools.

I have a good friend who has recently decided to get out of teaching altogether because he had such a rough time with his principal. So much so that the principal gave him a big, fat, U-rating, which has made it almost impossible for him to find a teaching gig anywhere else. It stinks because I think if he has the potential to be a great teacher if he''d just stick it out a bit more (he only lasted one year!).

Have you considered maybe transferring to another district (I''m not sure if you live in a big city or not)? If you can work it out with your principal, maybe he or she will let you transfer? Sometimes the teacher-school chemistry just isn''t there, and that''s fine.

But whatever you do, don''t let this situation make you feel like you''re less than. You''re going to have catty, vindictive people in any industry, and from what I''ve seen, education is no different....if anything, it can be a lot worse. It''s really unfortunate because at the end of the day, it''s supposed to be about the kids--BUT in reality, that ideal couldn''t be farther from the truth.

Best of luck to you. And a word of adivce, make your union rep work for you, that''s their job!

 

[LaurenThePartier]

Oh, Elegant, what a pain! I''m sending dust your way that everything will work out in your favour!

My parents were teachers for 30 years, and my sister is trying to get into her chosen school district right now. It''s really a difficult industry, with parents blaming you for not disciplining your child for them, other teachers using this kind of behaviour to feel better about their own performance . . . I really just hope everything works out for the best for you.

 

[Pandora II]

I''m so sorry to hear your situation.

I''m not a teacher, but I am in the middle of suing my employer for sex discrimination (tried to sack me when I told them I was pregnant. and I know just how stressful and horrible these kind of things can be.

I''ve been signed off work since November last year because I couldn''t deal with the stress and ended up having a complete breakdown.

My employer has been playing the ''let''s send emails at 6pm on a Friday'' game, sent me loads of documents of Xmas eve and delivered a whole lever-arch file of new documents at 6.30pm the night before a hearing.

As far as my lawyer is concerned, this kind of behaviour is tantamount to bullying and victimisation.

Often union reps are a bit useless - depends how well trained they have been for one. My union rep was particularly bad, so I appointed a friend who used to work in HR as my representative instead as I knew that she was 100% there for me and knew the ropes.

It''s also very unprofessional if the others know about the meeting without you having told them - these things should be 100% confidential.

Sadly, actually taking things to the levels I have is hideous in the extreme and I am very fortunate that I have worked in other sectors for many years and so don''t have to remain in this particular field as it all gets out eventually and even if you are completely the innocent and injured party it does your prospects no favours.

I really feel for you - just try not to let it affect your confidence and self-esteem.

 

[AmberGretchen]

I''m so sorry Elegant - it sounds like a rotten situation all around. I don''t have any advice to offer except to say that I admire that you are trying to keep your head up and I think you are absolutely doing the right thing by not discussing this with others and/or sinking to their level - that alone shows that you are a better person.

I know that''s not much comfort right now though, and I hope that a resolution of some kind can be reached so you don''t have to keep being miserable and stressed out.