backyard reception experiences???

[lulu66]

i had never considered having the reception in my parents backyard but my mother brought it up. after initially dismissing the idea, i keep coming back to it. my parents live in the country with a very long tree lined drive way and a very large pond that runs along one side of the house. the pond narrows into a creek and there''s a walking bridge over to another part of the yard where we''d have the actual reception. there''s a "building/barn" (it''s wood sided with a small "man room" for my dad in the front with double doors, then the back part is for farm equipment (currently empty). the front part of the building has electricity so that won''t be a problem. i just keep picturing lantern lined paths, little white lights, candles, and stars

! k, sorry for that very long description.

what i''m curious about is anyone''s experience with planning a backyard reception. what are the pros/cons? am i crazy for even considering this? help me. while i think it could be beautiful; a large part of me is thinking it will be a huge hassle & just to go rent a reception hall.

 

[cushionladyESQ]

Hey lulu--I think this could be really cool and pretty. I love the outdoors reception idea.

Two things to consider may be 1) bugs, and 2) weather conditions. So maybe have shawls if cold or fans if hot. And bugs are gross...so maybe account for the bugs in your area.

ETA: when my brother got married, he had a backyard reception at my parent's home and it was really nice. We had a band and it worked well and was a lot cheaper than a reception hall. I think it can definitely work.

 

[tlh]

I''ve been to a couple. They were LOVELY! I''m not sure that they weren''t pricey - but it was quite nice. I''ve never planned one... so I can''t help there, but as a guest they were really nice... (I just always made a mental note not to wear high heels, after sinking in the grass for several hours!)

 

[NewEnglandLady]

We rented a house and had the reception outside (did not rent a tent).

For us the biggest issues were:

1. Everything a reception venue would normally take care of--tables, chairs, linens, all dishes, glasses, silverware--has to be rented by you. Also, you have to set it all up and take it down since usually the rental company delivers it the day before the wedding and picks it up the day after. It''s not that big of a deal, I just had to know exactly what kind of dishes, glasses and silverware we needed based on what we were serving

2. I worried about all of our vendors making sure they knew how to get there on the day of the wedding. For some reason I had this fear of our cake, the food, or worse yet, the officiant, not getting there on time because they didn''t know where they were going, so I gave very, very detailed directions and made sure (as in called to CONFIRM) they had my cell phone number in case they got lost.

3. Separation of ceremony and reception. We were having our ceremony at the same house (not sure if you''re planning to do that), so I wanted all noise or visual reference to the reception out of sight for the ceremony. We put the caterers in the rear lawn while we had the oceanfront lawn for the ceremony. It worked out, but if we had just had one lawn, it may not have.

4. You worry about the weather. You just do. We had a backup plan just in case, but even then you worry.

Good luck! I thought having a reception at a home made the whole thing feel very personal and homey. I do think it''s a little extra work, but totally worth it.

 

[vespergirl]

My parents hosted my older brother''s wedding reception in their backyard, and it was awesome. (They had actually eloped the years before, but my mom was being a total PITA about not being invited to their city hall wedding, so they agreed to let her throw a party as long as they didn''t have to participate in the planning).

They probably had about 100 people, and my mom hired catering and staff. They tented the patio in case of rain, but not the deck or the garden, where the "ceremony" took place under a trellis. It was actually really beautiful, and my mom had put months into the planning, but I think it is a great idea.

It sounds like your parents yard is beautiful, so I bet it would be wonderful.

 

[KimberlyH]

I was the MOH in a backyard wedding. The most difficult thing was getting the yard cleaned up (it was in pretty bad shape). The did have a lot of help from friends and family, but it was one of the nicest weddings I''ve ever been to.

 

[Puppmom]

Lulu, DH and I got married in my in-law''s backyard and it was perfect! In-laws offered the yard and we kind of blew them off. After looking at several venues'' outdoor sites (we knew we wanted an outdoor reception), we ended up back where we started - in-law''s backyard.

Issues/Considerations:

- I second a lot of what New England Lady said, especially the fact that there are things that you have to take care of that would otherwise be done for you.
- The rental costs add up - especially if you rent a tent as we did.
- Since the wedding was at the in-law''s house we felt like we had to consider their opinion on certain things. They were really good about it but definitely something to consider.
- The caterer''s need a clean work area. Fortunately MIL keeps a meticulously clean garage that is directly off their kitchen.
- It''s hard to set a solid end time. Everyone''s having fun and you''ve been up since before the sun and just want to go to sleep - and there are always those few people that just hang on. We had no DJ - I think this would have helped the situation. Everyone knows the party''s over when the DJ says so

- Do you have enough bathrooms for everyone?
- In-laws kind of felt some pressure to make sure their house was in tip-top shape. Oh, they stressed about that damn lawn for months!
- Parking - make sure there is plenty of it.
- Neighbors - talk to them ahead of time. Are you cool with getting married while the guy next door mows his lawn? Sounds like your property is big enough that you don''t have to worry about that. We made the neighbors gift packages ahead of time and just thanked them in advance for putting up with us (and hopefully not mowing their lawn during our vows!).

Benefits:

- We felt so RELAXED. We felt at home and didn''t have to worry about forgetting anything.
- You can do a lot ahead of time. We did some decorating the night before - something you probably couldn''t do at a venue.
- DHs childhood friends loved coming back and seeing his parent''s home - after all, the last time they saw it there was patchwork wallpaper, avocado appliances and red formica countertops

- You can do what you want. There are NO rules. It got a bit chilly the night of our wedding so we had an impromptu bonfire. It was awesome.
- It was really special getting married in the place DH grew up.
- You can really execute a plan well for decorating, etc. A venue you see once or twice and not again until your wedding day. We''re at our in-laws every weekend so we were able to tweak the layout and decorations till they were just perfect.

I could really go on and on about what a great experience it was and how the benefits far outweigh the issues. Overall, I would say if you''re planning to get married outdoors anyway - go for it! We couldn''t be happier with our choice.

Good luck!

 

[cocolaw]

we are getting married at my uncle''s house! you def. have to factor in everything--the rentals, spot for food prep, lighting, making sure everyone can find the place! but your location sounds really incredible. i would go for it

 

[Still_Waiting]

Date: 9/23/2009 5:45:18 PM
Author:lulu66
i had never considered having the reception in my parents backyard but my mother brought it up. after initially dismissing the idea, i keep coming back to it. my parents live in the country with a very long tree lined drive way and a very large pond that runs along one side of the house. the pond narrows into a creek and there''s a walking bridge over to another part of the yard where we''d have the actual reception. there''s a ''building/barn'' (it''s wood sided with a small ''man room'' for my dad in the front with double doors, then the back part is for farm equipment (currently empty). the front part of the building has electricity so that won''t be a problem. i just keep picturing lantern lined paths, little white lights, candles, and stars

! k, sorry for that very long description.

what i''m curious about is anyone''s experience with planning a backyard reception. what are the pros/cons? am i crazy for even considering this? help me. while i think it could be beautiful; a large part of me is thinking it will be a huge hassle & just to go rent a reception hall.

Wow. Sounds pretty perfect to me! I''ve attended a couple of backyard receptions and they were beautiful. A backyard reception may not be ideal if you''re going for a super elegant theme, but really it just all depends on how you "do it up"...it would require more work for you (or hiring someone to do it for you). But, in my experience it can totally be done well. Just make sure you''ve got enough parking for your guests (one friend arranged parking at the neighbors and enlisted some guys to do valet for guests who couldn''t walk downhill/uphill in the gravel).

 

[zipzapgirl]

My mom threw us a nice backyard reception after we returned from our wedding in Italy.

Pros:
It was beautiful.
It was exactly what my Mom wanted and she put a LOT of thought and work into making sure everything was perfect.
It''s great if the person who owns th home is totally into showing it off and being hospitable.
It was probably a bit cheaper because of the DIY aspect and the catering options.

Cons:
It was HOT.
There was a lot of prep work for the 2-3 days beforehand and the day of. Could be stressful if your wedding is actually that day.
There were bugs. Lots of them. They only appeared once the food was served and the lights came on. I would definitely recommend a trial run to see if there are bugs around when food/lights are around.
We didn''t get anyone to dance. It wasn''t really a dancing crowd, but I think the atmosphere probably also contributed.

I think you definitely need to know that some family members or friends are going to be available to help out extensively, or you''re going to be really stressed out. But it was lovely and my Mom was so proud of being able to pull it off.

 

[lulu66]

thank you all for your responses!!

cushionladyESQ we''re planning on late sept/early oct in kentucky. so, temperature wise weather should be nice. bugs...we might have to spray for.

tlh thanks for your response; i''ve only been to one & it was lovely but it was completely tented (sides & all). i think i want it to be a little more open. we''ll see...

newenglandlady i don''t want to rent a tent either. what was your "backup plan"? and our ceremony will be in a local church, so the backyard would be reception only.

vespergirl 100 people is what we''re aiming for too. and since this was my mom''s idea, hopefully she will really help me w/all the planning.

kimberlyh yard clean up is definitately something to keep in mind, my dad takes pretty good care of it now & since we''re looking at next fall, he''d have all summer to get it in order.

puppmom THANK YOU for your detailed list! so awesome!! we are having a DJ & we were thinking about renting port-a-potty (i have a friend that did this for her outdoor wedding & actually got pretty nice ones w/stalls & sinks, not the gross concert ones). parking is a potential problem, but we definitely have the room for it but i see my dad throwing a mini-fit about people parking in the yard. we also have a lot of OOT guest who will be carpooling anyway. neighbor''s aren''t a problem--bonus of living out in the country!! i like that you said it was relaxed. i was telling FI that to me it just felt more "us" to have it in a backyard. we''re a pretty casual couple, who just want to celebrate with our family & friends!

cocolaw i really think i am going to go for it--all you ladies pushed me over the edge!

still_waiting we''re not really a super elegant couple. i''d of course want it to be nice. great idea about having some one do valet for the cars.

zipzapgirl thanks for your pros/cons list!! bugs are a worry--i need to think about that one more.

again, thank you all--and if you remember anything else or have any other suggestions, keep em coming! i REALLY appreciate it!!

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

lulu your ''venue'' sounds perfect for a backyard wedding!!
When i was reading the description it made me think of this backyard wedding:

http://www.younghouselove.com/wedding-album/

I too am planning a backyard wedding at our own home and i have found your thread really helpful!!
I ditto those who have said equipment hire adds up (my chairs are around $400 just on their own) but, you do save on other things.
I think being organised and planning ahead is the key to doing it yourself, that and recruiting all family members to help.

I am making sure that i organise stuff that can be done a day or two before so that i have the day of the wedding mostly to myself, all equipment and furniture hire are being delivered a day or two before, we plan on rigging up the lighting a few days ahead of time so we can see what it looks like before the night. I will be hiring a cleaner to give the house a really good once over before the wedding, i don''t like cleaning at the best of times so i know it wont be something i am planning on doing a few days before i get married. Hair and makeup are coming to me so that i don''t have to travel (saving time and stress) and i am catering myself but hiring staff to take care of everything on the day.
I am a bit of a control freak and i am loving how i can control so many more things than if we were getting married at a venue.. no one is telling me what decorations i can and can''t have. I have already planned to thank my neighbours in advance with a little gift and i have even written a poem to go with it.
We have planned for hot, sunny, windy and rainy weather with making sure that we have adequate shelter and heating and cooling options.

I love the idea of a backyard wedding and i think i am enjoying planning my wedding for home more than i would have planning it for somewhere else, we really wanted to do something different as well and the backyard wedding is certainly letting us do that.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Date: 9/23/2009 9:42:41 PM
Author: lulu66

newenglandlady i don't want to rent a tent either. what was your 'backup plan'? and our ceremony will be in a local church, so the backyard would be reception only.

Well our wedding was tiny (36 or so) and the house had a very large covered piazza that could fit all five our our tables. If it was only drizzling, it would still work. If it was raining, however, we planned to move the tables inside--the house had a large beautiful, open living room that faced the piazza and ocean so you still had the same view (we would have just had to move some furniture into another room). As the night wound down and people got tired and chilly, most moved into the living room anyway and it was just really cozy and relaxing. That was another advantage of having the house.

Puppmom's list was fabulous--the bathrooms, parking, noise, neighbors, end time--it sounds like most of these are resolved for you, which is good. We didn't have a DJ, either, and all of our guests were staying at the estate with us, which meant that the night seemed to keep going on and on despite the fact that I was completely exhausted.

ETA: another thing I just thought of was the alcohol. We wanted what was equivalent to an open bar and even looked into hiring a bartender (they can't provide alcohol, just serve it), and figuring out how much to serve of what was not easy! Buying our own alcohol saved a ton of money, but we made sure to buy it from a place that took back unopened bottles. We had enough wine and hard liquor, but by the end of the night we'd run out of champagne.

 

[TooPatient]

My mother had her wedding and reception at home. The drive was lined with lilac trees which were in full bloom the weekend of the wedding. Cherry trees in the yard covered in little pink flowers. A few petals falling off and sprinkling down into the yard. Sunny. Beautiful.

Shoes sinking was a big deal. I actually twisted my ankle when I fell walking down the aisle.


For supplies, see if you''ve got the equivalent of Grand Event Rentals where you live. They have a great selection of stuff. Tents, tables, chairs, dance floors, linens, dishes, wine glasses, etc.
They will even do the set up and take down of everything for you if you talk to them ahead of time (and pay extra).

 

[sparkly_stars]

I love the idea
AND
holy a million of amazing amazing scenery for the photog. (which is really all i ever picture).

I had my wedding at my parents house, winter wedding; in their beautiful log house.
I picked it for a few reasons, but in the end- the scenery was perfect for my winter wonderland dream

I don''t think it''ll be as big of a hassle as you may think!
In fact, I think having it some where''s where you can do WHATEVER you want is going to make things way stress free.
(you can hang lights how you want, seat chairs how you want, stay and clean up when you want. etc

As mentioned the only concern is bugs/weather- but those are easily fixable (bugs especially).

I think with the creek, the barn, the lined up trees. It all sounds very lovely.

 

[lulu66]

thanks again (& some more) everyone!

i''m going to talk to my parents more about it this weekend! make sure they were/are serious about this undertaking! i''ll keep you posted. & if there''s anything else i need to consider, keep it coming!

 

[katamari]

I think the pros and cons you have been offered so far also cover our experience, but in hindsight from ours I would say the biggest con for us was, similar to zipzapgirl, there was just too much to do to get people really involved in dancing. There was dancing, but it never happened to the extent it does at weddings where the only post-dinner activity is dancing. The second biggest con would be the stress it put on my in-laws. But, the biggest pro for us--which is why I would highly recommend it, despite the cons, was that it gave us so much control over EVERYTHING (timing, music, food, alcohol, activities, size of guest list, decor, etc., etc.). I just don''t think I could have found that with any other venue.