Wedding Bachelor Party

[Class n Sass]

Ok so my FI had his bachelor party this past weekend. I was totally fine with it prior to the party. I felt like I wanted him to go out and have fun. I also didn''t even mind the whole stripper thing because I know that I trust my FI and that he would never go overboard and do anything to disrespect our relationship. However I woke up in the middle of the night on Saturday and could not sleep cause I was thinking about the party. I was just imagining some nasty strippers being near him and for the first time the thought really bothered me. We discussed the whole night yesterday and I expressed all of my feelings to him. I mean I guess it was too late to really be bothered since the party had already happened. I know had I expressed these feelings to him a few weeks ago he would have told him friends absolutely no strippers and he would have been more than ok with that. But honestly I thought I was ok with it. I consider myself to be pretty liberal and never imagined I would feel this way. Anyone else have bachelor party issues???

 

[Octavia]

There have been lots of posts about this in the (not too distant) past, and you're definitely not alone. I would NOT be okay with strippers and would put my foot down firmly, and even though I consider myself liberal about most things I couldn't even pretend to go along with that. Luckily, my FI's dream bachelor party is a day of golf culminating in a gathering of his best friends, multiple flat-screen TVs, several different video game systems, and high-end beer. If he had other interests, I could see it being a huge point of contention between us.

I hope that your discussion with your FI was productive, and that he was able to make you feel better about the situation.

 

[allycat0303]

Well since the party already happened (I assume you know everything by now, unless he did really bad things, I am hoping the feeling will go away.) Or maybe you are really trying to not be angry about it, but you are a little annoyed at the whole thing.

 

[miraclesrule]

Class n Sass: I think it is completely natural feeling this way. It''s history though, nothing you can do about it now. You are about to be MARRIED!!!! Yayayayayaya!!!

And next time your husband wants to attend a party for himself where a stipper is present, simply tell him that the only stripper who will be allowed to perform is YOU. So unless he wants all his buddies to see you scantilly clad and sweating all over him, it''s a no go.

Or you could tell him that from here on out, only male strippers. That oughta quash the party.

 

[diamondfan]

I think it is real to say in the absence of the actual event you felt fine about it, but during it realized you were not happy with the idea. Makes total sense to me. Was he receptive to your talk?

I would say, now, it is in the past, and you just need to tell him, Hey, I thought I was cool with it because I do trust you etc, but I found it really DID upset me. So going forward, not gonna be a good thing for you to do!

I think you can express your feelings, keep it kind of light, but make sure he knows. Nothing wrong with that. You are allowed to have a change of heart, you could not know how you would really feel til it happened. Theoretical stuff is not the same as real stuff.