Baby/Toddler Personality same as teen/adult?

[Skippy123]

Okay so my mom keeps telling me that in the First 3 years of a baby/toddler life that their personality is developed and stays the same as in adulthood. So for Moms out there with older kids, teenagers or adults I am curious if your child has the same personality as when he was a baby or toddler???

I am not sure I agree because one person I know that was a terrible baby/toddler (cried all the time,fussy) and now is the most chill laid back happy go lucky person I know (someone I use to babysit years ago). I kind of also think environment molds a personality too?! I am curious though as I have two babies, one is super happy go lucky, loves to play by himself and the other is happy but not as chill. Both are very good babies for the most part but it got me wondering if they will be the same as in adulthood or is it just a small glimpse into their personality?? I kind of think it is the latter.

 

[TravelingGal]

I think it's a small glimpse. Nurture plays a lot. I probably very similar now as a toddler, but as I grew into a child, I was shyer (partly because I was bullied in the 4th grade). I did feel insecure I think when I was a lot younger.

By the time I got into college, I was much more confident. Even better yet when I hit mid twenties.

I always had a sense of humor though, and a sense of empathy (which is not to say that I am not one to tell it like it is, or anything. ) A very strong sense of right and wrong as a child too.

So as usual, I don't think there is a definitive answer on this one.

 

[tyty333]

My older son (now 1 is pretty much the same. He was a quiet, easy going baby and he seems to be the same way as an adult.
When he was younger he always seemed mature for his age. He was and still is an introvert.

My younger son (now 10) seems to still be the same. He was some what prickly as a child and little things would set him off easily.
He is still the same. I keep telling him that things in the real world arent perfect and he is going to have to learn to deal with
them. I can not as yet tell whether he is going to be an extrovert or an introvert. He seems to be riding the middle ground
right now.

My daughter (7 years) is very immature for her age. I'm pretty sure she is going to be an introvert. She likes to play with
friends but is just as happy to play with herself. She hates to be the center of attention (unless its just around the family)
and wont even talk in most social situations. We have her seeing a child psychologist hoping that we can make her feel
more comfortable/confident with herself.

So...bottom line is that my 2 older children have not changed that much from what we saw as babies. Its a little too early
to say about my daughter but I'm hoping that she does do some changing. We dont push her but we do try to show her
how to go about doing things that might make her more comfortable and willing to talk to others more freely.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I do not think that holds true necessarily. One of mine was very shy when little but is now very outgoing, for example. BUT, I do think the first three years are critical in a child's development and we can't minimize the importance of excellent loving care during that period!

 

[luv2sparkle]

Very much so. The glimpses I had of my kids personalities has turned out to be who they are as adults. For the most part that is a very
positive thing.

I don't think it can be told in whether or not they were a calm baby or not. My daughter was extremely fussy, and I don't know how that would translate. She was very trustworthy as a child, and aside for the nasty years between 16-20, that is true now. She also always
had to have the last word as a kid, and she still does that now. Not in a negative way really, but when we talk to her on the phone,
she is always the last to comment before she hangs up. It is just a funny little quirk now, but it was funny when she was a kid.

My son who was sweet and thoughtful as a little boy, is still oh-so-tenderhearted now. He didn't talk a lot as a little boy, but he would love
to hold my hand in the car. That was in the days before air bags and his little booster seat could be buckled in the front seat.

The child who was a bit sneaky as a two year old, and would climb out of his crib, stack up blocks to unlock the deadbolt on the front door and sneak out in a diaper at nap time, has grown to be a bit sneaky as an adult. I am not too happy about that.

I could see glimpses of who they would become as I look back now. I am not sure I would have come to the same conclusions when they were little.

 

[Skippy123]

this has been interesting to read, thanks for your thoughts!!

TGAL, I do think it is a glimpse and a bit of environment. I think a lot of things in life influence who we are today, some good some not so good but learning how to deal with things can really shape a person.

TYTY, oh that is interesting about the introvert extrovert. I like introverts since I am sort of extrovert; my hubby is introvert. He has taught me to slow down and just soak things in without having to be meeting people and going places all the time!

DS, I was wondering if someones child would be opposite of what they were as a baby or toddler! Interesting!! thanks for sharing. I do agree babies need lots of love and it make make a big difference in an overall childs well being!

LUV2SPARKLE, thanks for sharing!! It sounds like you do get a glimpse just reading yours and the others response. I need to write down for fun something one each of my sons personalities now and see how they compare in several years.

 

[Pandora II]

I think it's definitely true.

My MIL kept very detailed week-by-week diaries on all 4 of her kids until they were about 7. I can see what my husband was doing at the same age as our daughter which is fun, but I also noticed how similar he is today to how he was described then. The same goes for his brothers.

My mother says the same thing. She thinks that how you are as a very young child is how you will eventually be as an adult, but the horrible teenage and pre-teen years can turn nice children who become nice adults into small monsters for a few years.

 

[Miss Sparkly]

It is my belief that the foundation of the personality is the same as a child but that the way the personality is expressed changes and develops over time.

 

[Sha]

I think so. I was very easy-going and agreeable as a baby and still am today. My parents always tell me the story of how I fell out of my crib one day and damaged my teeth/gums, but was always smiling in the hospital even though I would've been in quite a bit of pain. I also remember being very self-conscious as a child and I'm the same way today too.

My DH was very independent and strong-willed as a child, and still is as an adult, and DD seems to have the same qualities.

Agreed that environment definitely plays a role though.

ETA: Your little boys are so cute!! Love that avatar!

 

[Haven]

My mom and I were just talking about how drastically different my sister is now as an adult versus when she was a child. As a child she was extremely athletic, always climbing on things, and she had this glint in her eye that just screamed mischief. The constant smirk didn't help, either. If there was a structure nearby, she was climbing on it. She wore a baseball hat all the time, and her trousers were always all the way down her hips. People often thought she was a boy. If you asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up she'd say "I want to be named Dick and ride a motorcycle." If she overheard someone sharing a secret, she's pull one side of her mouth back, slit her eyes, and hold it in until she had the largest possible crowd to share it with. She was in gymnastics, diving, softball, etc. She was like this little tough-as-nails tomboy always looking for a place to stick her whoopie cushion.

Now? She's studying to be a rabbi. She's as kind and patient and thoughtful as they come. Not much of a tomboy and wasn't an athlete in HS. It's like she's a completely different person than who we thought she would become. It's very strange, actually.

My mom says I'm the opposite--I used to wake up singing in my crib. I'd entertain myself for hours at a time with a pile of rocks and some paint. Calm, collected, a little bit girly. Never needed much interaction with others. Loved walking around in my plastic high heels. Vain. At three I went down a slide in the park with my hands fanned out on both sides of my face--"My nails! My nails!" I'd said. Apparently, I'd painted them right before our outing. Not much has changed, here.

 

[Dreamer_D]

There is a fair amount of research on this Skippy! In broad strokes, personality is about 50/50 nature and nurture. The building blocks of personality are totally evident at a very young age, as soon as hours after birth.

The main dimension of personality that is pretty invariant accross the life is reactivity, which morphs into neuroticism as personality develops. Some other building blocks of personality are also evident from a very young age, like risk aversion and shyness.

 

[House Cat]

My oldest son was an incredibly active toddler who would bang his head on the nearest object whenever he was angry. He had a perma-bruise on his forehead for almost a year. He never stood still. Actually, he learned to walk before he learned to sit up. I think he had no time for sitting.


He's 17 now and a joy to be around, no temper at all. And he is THE LAZIEST person I know!

 

[Skippy123]

ETA: Your little boys are so cute!! Love that avatar!

aww, thanks SHA!!! I think they are pretty awesome babies, if I do say so myself; I appreciate your kind words and your LO is beautiful!!

PANDORA, wow that is amazing she kept notes. I should try that but not sure what to say right now, lots of giggles from both of them? hehe One is more chill though, both are great but one can have a toy under him and he just rolls over like no prob! haha The other one is like hey mom come help me out then after (I move the toy) big smiles of thanks, too sweet. ahhaha

SB, yeah I think you are right!!!

HAVEN, wow, that is awesome what your sis is doing!!! I do think it is interesting how much some people can change. I found it super interesting that some close friends of mine from the age of 5 to college years changed. It seemed like college brought the most growth to most of the people I knew; I know it did for me and also my first serious job! lol about not messing up your nails!

Thank you everyone for your thoughts Dreamer, HOUSECAT. LOL to the laziest person you know, but woot to an all around easy going/happy go lucky guy, Housecat! It is interesting to how personalities evolve!!! hehe

 

[Porridge]

Oooh I don't know! My family always say I am the exact same now as I was when I was a baby. Buuuut I have these younger cousins whose older personalities totally surprised me.

One was a verrrry fussy baby. Babysitting him was a nightmare. He's cry and cry, we could never get him to sleep, then when he was a little older he went through this awful phase of banging his head repeatedly against the nearest object when he didn't get what he wanted. Horrible. Now though, he's around 13, completely relaxed and happy child, very social, easily pleased, and one of the most polite young boys I have ever had the pleasure of being around! I love visiting that family now.

The second was a total mamas boy. Youngest of the family, had angelic curly blonde hair, and he would whine and complain and always want his mommy. He was our youngest cousin and none of us could stand him! This went on til I would say early teens. Now though, at 19, he is one of the funniest, most laid-back people I know. He's really into sport, goes traveling every summer, has great friends...really great guy.

The last example is brothers, the oldest and middle child of a family. The oldest was a lovely child, very funny, relaxed, happy, and really interested in everything that was going on. I remember him being into politics before most kids his age knew what politics was! He was great. His younger brother was a prickly child, always complaining, didn't get on with his two other brothers, fussy, etc etc. Now, the oldest is a lazy lump who barely got into college (not for lack of brains), is just about scraping by, and is kind of annoying to be around cos he never wants to do anything. I'm a little worried about him being depressed actually. My mum and I are wondering how to approach my aunt about that. The middle child now is a total gentleman. Just started engineering, is really into drumming, is in a band, writes for a drumming magazine (!) and is all round a nice guy, laid back, funny, and interested in what you have to say. Total switcheroo.

Funny that all my examples are boys, and I have to say that for the most part most children I have known have been roughly the same into late teens. The above are just four examples where everyone in my family was blown away by how different they turned out to be.

 

[PinkTower]

In Montessori, we group children Into four planes of development. First plane is age birth to six, second plane is age six to twelve, third plane is age twelve to eighteen, and fourth plane is age eighteen to twenty four. There are similar characteristics between phase one and three and phase two and four, so I guess the theory could be seen as correct in some aspects. However, these are across the board similarities, not within a particular child. A quick example of similarities between plane one and three would be the increased need for sleep due to growth. Interestingly, Montessori did not believe adulthood was reached until age 24. Because she had so much less scientific knowledge at her disposal than we do today, I am constantly amazed at her insight. When my son had to wear an orthodontic appliance, I was told that the mandible grows longer, time wise, in males, and that the mandible grows until age 24!