baby ear piercing

[LabRatPhD]

In my culture, ear piercing for babies of both sexes is common (or it used to be for males anyway, still is for females) so I have no problem with it. My sister and I were born in the US so we had to have it done ourselves. I had mine pierced in India when I was 6 and had absolutely no problems (the person simply used plain needles). My sister had her''s done when she was 14 here in the States and despite all the "sterile techniques" and the "fancy" gun, she encountered numerous problems and had a couple infections. I know she wishes she would have had them done as a baby.

I also agree that tattooing does not equate piercing.

 

[RaiKai]

Interestingly, I know a lot of people who like tattoos (and will have dozens of them) but do not like piercings and are even squeamish about them. Gosh, my DH has a huge tattoo that covers and wraps 360 degrees around his entire upper arm from just below the elbow to over the shoulder that involved dozens of hours of painful work...but gets incredibly freaked out when he sees me put my earrings in or change my belly ring.

 

[Laila619]

I have to agree with Swedish Bean--there is no arguing that tattoos and piercings are both a form of semi-permanent to permanent body modification. Not everyone's holes will close. I have a second set of holes that I got 10 years ago that are still there, despite me not wearing any earrings in them.

 

[Hest88]

My girlfriend had this sort of fight with her husband. In her culture it''s really common have babies and toddlers'' ears pierced. She ended up having the kid''s ears done when he was away on a business trip. Luckily, when they met him at the airport (this was back in the day when you could meet someone at the gate) he melted at how cute his daughter looked with her studs.

Not that I''m advocating doing something like this behind a DH''s back, but this sort of brazenness on my girlfriend''s part of why so many people love her.

Anyway, it''s hard for me to think of this as barbaric, and certainly difficult to equate it with tattooing. Throughout history women (and men) in many cultures have had their ears pierced but equated tatooing with something much more extreme.

 

[hisdiamondgirl]

Date: 4/15/2010 11:14:30 AM
Author: swedish bean
If you can''t see parallels between piercing and tattooing, there is really nothing I can say that will help you understand how I feel about this subject.

Maybe I could see the parallels if we were talking about people doing this to their children:

 

[that_someone_special]

LOL

People actually do in some cultures.

 

[elrohwen]

Date: 4/15/2010 11:47:00 AM
Author: RaiKai
Interestingly, I know a lot of people who like tattoos (and will have dozens of them) but do not like piercings and are even squeamish about them. Gosh, my DH has a huge tattoo that covers and wraps 360 degrees around his entire upper arm from just below the elbow to over the shoulder that involved dozens of hours of painful work...but gets incredibly freaked out when he sees me put my earrings in or change my belly ring.

I have a good friend who is the same way - she won't get anything pierced, but is tattoo crazy. Personally, I would much rather get a piercing! I like that I can take them out. I love tattoos on other people, but can't deal with having something permanent on my own body.

eta: I should add that piercings don't close up. They may look more or less closed, but you will always be able to put an earring back through if you try hard enough. This is why it's so important to get it done right, by a piercer, because you don't really get a second chance. I haven't worn earrings in some of my piercings for 4 years, but the holes are absolutely there. Not sure if I could put earrings back in myself, but a piercer could poke them back in a second (without a needle).

 

[RaiKai]

Date: 4/15/2010 12:34:51 PM
Author: elrohwen

Date: 4/15/2010 11:47:00 AM

Author: RaiKai

Interestingly, I know a lot of people who like tattoos (and will have dozens of them) but do not like piercings and are even squeamish about them. Gosh, my DH has a huge tattoo that covers and wraps 360 degrees around his entire upper arm from just below the elbow to over the shoulder that involved dozens of hours of painful work...but gets incredibly freaked out when he sees me put my earrings in or change my belly ring.

I have a good friend who is the same way - she won't get anything pierced, but is tattoo crazy. Personally, I would much rather get a piercing! I like that I can take them out. I love tattoos on other people, but can't deal with having something permanent on my own body.


eta: I should add that piercings don't close up. They may look more or less closed, but you will always be able to put an earring back through if you try hard enough. This is why it's so important to get it done right, by a piercer, because you don't really get a second chance. I haven't worn earrings in some of my piercings for 4 years, but the holes are absolutely there. Not sure if I could put earrings back in myself, but a piercer could poke them back in a second (without a needle).

I like to have both (and do!) in moderation

. However, I always felt more resistant to getting more piercings (i.e. I never did the doubles in my ears). I was far more open to more tattoos (but am going to stick to two!).

And I agree.....there will always at least be a little mark there. Heck when I was younger there were times I took my earrings out for long periods of time and they closed up a little and I was able to re-open them with enough force from an earring post dosed first in rubbing alcohol.

 

[waterlilly]

I guess I just can''t really think of a better word to describe how I feel about it.

Modifying an infant girl''s body for no other reason than the mother''s desire to decorate her - I''m sorry I just can''t think of any other word than barbaric.

If you heard a story about a mother forcing her teenage daughter to get her ears pierced against her will - basically someone comes on here and says:

"my daughter said she didn''t want it done, she didn''t want to wear ear rings, but I forced her to"

would you respond positively to that?

I can''t imagine forcing that decision on to my daughter if I have one. I just see it as a unique experience for mother and daughter to share. Not to mention a neat experience to have her make a big decision on her own - a lesson in how some decisions are permanent and you need to think carefully before you make them, etc.

A little girl discovering her own beauty by playing with jewelry, make up etc. and then making that decision on her own - wanting to express her femininity by altering her appearance is something my future daughter will do in her own time if she chooses and I look forward to the privilege of being part of it with her.

 

[that_someone_special]

Not to mention the complications of keloids, infection, scarring, migration, swelling with improper jewelry (the skin can literally envelope the jewelry which then has to be surgically removed), allergic reactions, bloodborne diseases (improper sterilization techniques or cross contamination), and tearing.

These are just things I don''t think babies should have to deal with.

 

[jaysonsmom]

Date: 4/15/2010 12:43:11 PM
Author: waterlilly
I guess I just can''t really think of a better word to describe how I feel about it.

Modifying an infant girl''s body for no other reason than the mother''s desire to decorate her - I''m sorry I just can''t think of any other word than barbaric.

If you heard a story about a mother forcing her teenage daughter to get her ears pierced against her will - basically someone comes on here and says:

''my daughter said she didn''t want it done, she didn''t want to wear ear rings, but I forced her to''

would you respond positively to that?

I can''t imagine forcing that decision on to my daughter if I have one. I just see it as a unique experience for mother and daughter to share. Not to mention a neat experience to have her make a big decision on her own - a lesson in how some decisions are permanent and you need to think carefully before you make them, etc.

A little girl discovering her own beauty by playing with jewelry, make up etc. and then making that decision on her own - wanting to express her femininity by altering her appearance is something my future daughter will do in her own time if she chooses and I look forward to the privilege of being part of it with her.

Do what you want to do, but don''t call someone else''s practice barbaric, especially if you just can''t think of a better word. That being said, I didn''t get my son circumcised although some may argue that there are medical reasons to do it, I saw no reason to. To each their own. Stand by your decision and good luck.

 

[sparklyheart]

I wish mine would have been pierced when I was a baby! I spent my childhood begging my mom to let me get mine pierced and she always said "when you are 18.." because she had to wait that long. By the time I turned 18, I didn''t care. When I was 21 my best friend was appaled that they weren''t pierced so she took me to get them pierced. I wish I would have been able to wear cute earring growing up though.. I don''t think it''s barbaric. Now, piercing a baby''s belly button is a little different.

 

[Haven]

I don''t think I''d have my own future babies'' ears pierced, but I don''t think it''s barbaric at all.

I also agree that different cultures have *very* different views on this.

I begged my mom to let me get my ears pierced when I was 4. My mom is first generation American, and her entire family viewed pierced ears as a very lower class thing. (They''re from West Berlin. I don''t know if this is a German thing, or just true of their social circle.) Anyway, my grandmother was appalled when my mother had her ears pierced when she was a teen, and she just about went through the roof when my mom took me to get mine pierced at age 4.

By the way--my mom took me to one of those Claire''s type places in a mall. They pierced one ear, I freaked out, refused to let them get at my other ear, and walked around with one piercing for a week before my mom could convince me to go back. I definitely wasn''t traumatized because I went on to get seven piercings in each ear, one in my tongue, and one in my belly button in my teen years, but I didn''t take too well to that first piercing at age four! (My grandmother had given up on me by then!

)

 

[elrohwen]

Date: 4/15/2010 1:08:46 PM
Author: Haven
I don''t think I''d have my own future babies'' ears pierced, but I don''t think it''s barbaric at all.

I also agree that different cultures have *very* different views on this.

I begged my mom to let me get my ears pierced when I was 4. My mom is first generation American, and her entire family viewed pierced ears as a very lower class thing. (They''re from West Berlin. I don''t know if this is a German thing, or just true of their social circle.) Anyway, my grandmother was appalled when my mother had her ears pierced when she was a teen, and she just about went through the roof when my mom took me to get mine pierced at age 4.

By the way--my mom took me to one of those Claire''s type places in a mall. They pierced one ear, I freaked out, refused to let them get at my other ear, and walked around with one piercing for a week before my mom could convince me to go back. I definitely wasn''t traumatized because I went on to get seven piercings in each ear, one in my tongue, and one in my belly button in my teen years, but I didn''t take too well to that first piercing at age four! (My grandmother had given up on me by then!

)

I think we''re piercing twins! Except I only have 4 holes per ear and the belly button. My mom said she wouldn''t continue to pay for college if I got my tongue pierced

Now I''m glad I didn''t get that one done. I did have to take all of my earrings out when I started a job in manufacturing (no jewelry allowed) but I''m tempted to put a few of them back in once I''m working again at a place without those restrictions.

 

[AprilBaby]

I am a typical caucasian middle age woman who had her daughters ears pierced at 3 months. I had 3 sons and everyone thought she was another one till I got the earrings. It wasn''t barbaric (she didn''t cry), she never pulled at them (she didn''t know they were there), and at 22 she is happy I did it.

 

[yssie]

For some people it's cultural... and a far cry from barbaric

In my culture it's traditional to have it done at one year as part of a big celebration. My father was overseas at the time, though, so I didn't have mine done until I was three. Any daughters FI and I have will have their ears pierced on their first birthdays - by a professional, not at the mall.



Ear piercing is nothing like a tattoo - for one, if you leave a baby's holes empty they'll close in a couple of weeks!



Re. circumcision - FI is Jewish, any boys we have will be circumcised. It's cultural, obviously the boys as infants won't get a say in the matter, I don't think that's barbaric either.

 

[vespergirl]

My mom brought me to do it when I was 7, at my request. No one in our family has ever done it on a baby.

However, I have several friends from Brazil, and they ALL pierced their babies'' ears shortly after birth. It''s a cultural thing there. I guess it''s no more barbaric than circumcising a baby boy at birth, which I did with my first son & plan to do with my second.

 

[Haven]

elro--It''s addicting, right? I only wear one earring in each ear now, but the holes are all still there and still open. (I try them out every once in a while.)

I''ve actually re-pierced my tongue TWICE, so I''ve sat through that piercing three times, which is a little ridiculous now that I see it in writing. I kept taking it out and wanting it back, but that''s an expensive habit and it hurts more each time you get it done.

Now I''m sticking to tattoos.

 

[princesss]

I don''t care if other people do it, but I wouldn''t choose to. I believe that piercings and tattoos should be personal choices, and they come with responsibilities and maintainance. If a child wants to get their ears pierced and has proven that they can be responsible enough to take care of them on their own (by whatever standard the parent chooses to set - IIRC, I had to feed the dogs for a month without forgetting), then I''ve got no problem with it.

I would prefer to get my child''s ears pierced by a professional. I got mine done at the mall and one of mine is crooked. My sister got hers done at a piercing/tattoo parlour and hers are perfect!

 

[elrohwen]

Date: 4/15/2010 1:18:04 PM
Author: Haven
elro--It''s addicting, right? I only wear one earring in each ear now, but the holes are all still there and still open. (I try them out every once in a while.)

I''ve actually re-pierced my tongue TWICE, so I''ve sat through that piercing three times, which is a little ridiculous now that I see it in writing. I kept taking it out and wanting it back, but that''s an expensive habit and it hurts more each time you get it done.

Now I''m sticking to tattoos.

No tattoos for me! I just know I would regret it after a few years. But yes, the piercings are addictive! I think I''m getting my industrial put back in after I get a new job (I tried to put it back on my own and it''s not fun - very tricky and painful when you can''t really see the holes!)

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

I wouldn''t choose to describe it as barbaric, but if someone strongly feels the practice of piercing a child''s ears to be primitive, I think barbaric could be a fitting description. For example, they may see it as a form of body mutilation (think of the African/Asian neck rings or foot binding). They may also see it as an antiquated tradition reinforcing the roles of women and men in society. Why should we assume that every girl will want to have pierced ears?

I choose "ridiculous" over "barbaric" because I don''t feel strongly about it. When I see a baby with pierced ears, I don''t see any harm in it but also find it really out of place and silly. I also acknowledge that those mothers don''t give a flip if I think it''s silly.

 

[yssie]

Date: 4/15/2010 1:32:52 PM
Author: Guilty Pleasure
I wouldn''t choose to describe it as barbaric, but if someone strongly feels the practice of piercing a child''s ears to be primitive, I think barbaric could be a fitting description. For example, they may see it as a form of body mutilation (think of the African/Asian neck rings or foot binding). They may also see it as an antiquated tradition reinforcing the roles of women and men in society. Why should we assume that every girl will want to have pierced ears?

I choose ''ridiculous'' over ''barbaric'' because I don''t feel strongly about it. When I see a baby with pierced ears, I don''t see any harm in it but also find it really out of place and silly. I also acknowledge that those mothers don''t give a flip if I think it''s silly.

Again, not a reasonable or valid comparison.


Doing something to a child that causes permanent harm or damage to bodily functions (like walking!) is very different from doing something for ornamental purposes that neither assists nor adversely affects day-to-day function.

 

[Haven]

Date: 4/15/2010 1:23:26 PM
Author: elrohwen

Date: 4/15/2010 1:18:04 PM
Author: Haven
elro--It''s addicting, right? I only wear one earring in each ear now, but the holes are all still there and still open. (I try them out every once in a while.)

I''ve actually re-pierced my tongue TWICE, so I''ve sat through that piercing three times, which is a little ridiculous now that I see it in writing. I kept taking it out and wanting it back, but that''s an expensive habit and it hurts more each time you get it done.

Now I''m sticking to tattoos.

No tattoos for me! I just know I would regret it after a few years. But yes, the piercings are addictive! I think I''m getting my industrial put back in after I get a new job (I tried to put it back on my own and it''s not fun - very tricky and painful when you can''t really see the holes!)

I read your response too quickly and thought you said "I''m getting my industrial put back in after I get a NOSE job . . . " I thought "Why would that matter?" Haha.
ANYWAY, that''s a pretty hardcore piercing!
I had your fear about the tattoos, so I drew my first one on my foot for a long time before I actually had it done. But I do still have nightmares that they did a bad job and tattooed my entire foot and ankle in black ink. Scary!

Back to the OT, I find it interesting that some find baby ear piercing to be barbaric. This reminds me of Horace Miner''s "Body Ritual Among the Nacirema" piece. If you haven''t read it before, and the practice is barbaric in your eyes, I strongly recommend a read. It''s a good reminder to keep things in perspective.

(You do have to read to the end to really "get it" though.)

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

Date: 4/15/2010 1:40:51 PM
Author: yssie

Date: 4/15/2010 1:32:52 PM

Author: Guilty Pleasure

I wouldn''t choose to describe it as barbaric, but if someone strongly feels the practice of piercing a child''s ears to be primitive, I think barbaric could be a fitting description. For example, they may see it as a form of body mutilation (think of the African/Asian neck rings or foot binding). They may also see it as an antiquated tradition reinforcing the roles of women and men in society. Why should we assume that every girl will want to have pierced ears?


I choose ''ridiculous'' over ''barbaric'' because I don''t feel strongly about it. When I see a baby with pierced ears, I don''t see any harm in it but also find it really out of place and silly. I also acknowledge that those mothers don''t give a flip if I think it''s silly.

Again, not a reasonable or valid comparison.



Doing something to a child that causes permanent harm or damage to bodily functions (like walking!) is very different from doing something for ornamental purposes that neither assists nor adversely affects day-to-day function.

For the record, I want to reiterate that I do not feel that way... just acknowledging that others might see it like that. I personally think baby earrings are harmless.

 

[cara]

I think the comparisons to tattooing and circumcision are both a little extreme. If your daughter grows up and doesn''t want to wear earrings, she can take them out. It''s not like the holes themselves are especially noticeable. And its not like earlobes have another function or two that most adults consider important, as most men consider the non-cosmetic functions of their circumcised part quite important to daily life and their adult life. Tattoos don''t come off easily, cause more pain to get, and are not as wide spread as female ear piercing in our culture.

Yes ear piercing is a body modification but parents have to act as proxies for their children in many important decisions and I think they are allowed to exercise their judgment in this area, as long as they then respect their child''s decisions later when they are better able to articulate for themselves. I also think it is important that the parents are choosing to do something that is quite widespread in the/their culture - choosing to pierce your babies'' eyebrow or lip I think is different and over a line.

For reference, I don''t think I would pierce my baby, I would wait for her to request it later. However, I remember very clearly asking to get my ears pierced pre-age 5 or so, and my father telling me I was too young and had to wait til I was 6. He personally was against any body modifications like tattoos or piercings. At age 6 I asked again, and he said I was too young and had to wait until age 10. Then I made a big stink! He didn''t remember the prior age 6 promise and didn''t like it that I did. Somehow I convinced them and got my ears pierced around that age for the first time, and then I got second holes when I was twelve or so and my parents were hours late picking me up at the mall. I was a big twelve year old or maybe the store didn''t care about my age. Parents again unhappy, but what can you do when your forget your kid at the mall for hours and they amuse themselves.

However now I rarely wear earrings as my husband doesn''t like them

. I''m a little worried he''ll try to push his own preferences on a daughter we might have and it will go as well as it did for my father

. I''m all for reasonable limits on kids (no face tattoos while under 18, etc.) but at some point their bodies are their bodies and earrings are well within the normal range for our society.

 

[princesss]

Date: 4/15/2010 1:45:04 PM
Author: Haven

Date: 4/15/2010 1:23:26 PM
Author: elrohwen

Date: 4/15/2010 1:18:04 PM
Author: Haven
elro--It's addicting, right? I only wear one earring in each ear now, but the holes are all still there and still open. (I try them out every once in a while.)

I've actually re-pierced my tongue TWICE, so I've sat through that piercing three times, which is a little ridiculous now that I see it in writing. I kept taking it out and wanting it back, but that's an expensive habit and it hurts more each time you get it done.

Now I'm sticking to tattoos.

No tattoos for me! I just know I would regret it after a few years. But yes, the piercings are addictive! I think I'm getting my industrial put back in after I get a new job (I tried to put it back on my own and it's not fun - very tricky and painful when you can't really see the holes!)

I read your response too quickly and thought you said 'I'm getting my industrial put back in after I get a NOSE job . . . ' I thought 'Why would that matter?' Haha.
ANYWAY, that's a pretty hardcore piercing!
I had your fear about the tattoos, so I drew my first one on my foot for a long time before I actually had it done. But I do still have nightmares that they did a bad job and tattooed my entire foot and ankle in black ink. Scary!

Back to the OT, I find it interesting that some find baby ear piercing to be barbaric. This reminds me of Horace Miner's 'Body Ritual Among the Nacirema' piece. If you haven't read it before, and the practice is barbaric in your eyes, I strongly recommend a read. It's a good reminder to keep things in perspective.

(You do have to read to the end to really 'get it' though.)

Great article suggestion, Haven! That's one of my favoruites from Anth 101. Really fascinating read.

 

[Haven]

Mine too, Princesss. I like to read it with my students, and then have them create their own version. It''s one of my own more memorable activities from high school. (I still keep in touch with the history teacher who used it! How cool is that?)

 

[princesss]

Date: 4/15/2010 1:56:27 PM
Author: Haven
Mine too, Princesss. I like to read it with my students, and then have them create their own version. It's one of my own more memorable activities from high school. (I still keep in touch with the history teacher who used it! How cool is that?)

Yeah - I read it in HS (found it on the internet - so cool that your teacher assigned it!) so when I saw it on the syllabus, I knew we were going to have a great discussion.

Actually...that reminds me. I need to figure out what I'm bringing to my anthro professor's retirement party in a few weeks...

 

[ts44]

Man I either got lucky or have some kind of crazy good immune system because I got my ears pierced at Claire''s when I was 15 and had no issues. I even let them close up and then had them re-pierced (yep, again at Claire''s!) when I was 19 or 20. I didn''t think the pain was worth thinking about either, it''s over and done with quickly enough, and then you go get an Orange Julius.

If I have a daughter, I''d probably let her decide if she wants them or not. I let mine close up when I was playing competitive sports constantly in my teens, I just never wore earrings. If my daughter preferred not to have them for whatever reason, that''s her decision! That being said, I also don''t see anything wrong with piercing your baby''s ears, as long as it''s done correctly and safely and you take care of them.

 

[winelover23]

Date: 4/15/2010 8:39:07 AM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
WL-It''s clear you are vehemently against this practice, so I doubt many people who favor it will respond. You basically called them barbaric child abusers....

This is a personal choice. I had my ears pierced at 8 weeks and had no issues with the holes getting infected, I don''t remember the pain and I''ve enjoyed having my ears pierced ever since. My mom had them done because to be honest she wanted to avoid the back and forth arguments about it when I was an adolescent. Later, in the eighth grade (so 13 or so) I had second holes pieced. I had horrible problems with them and they never healed properly I was miserable. I let them close on their own.

Ear piercing hurts no more than getting blood drawn or a shot. It''s momentary and fleeting. If the piercing is done at a young age it''s easier to take care of the healing holes and ensure that there are no infection or rejection issues. Earrings can also be removed and the choice can be made to wear them or not in the future.

So yea, call me a barbarian, call me an abuser. I will most likely get my daughter''s ears pierced as an infant (if I have a daughter).

I''m calling CPS on you. That is all.