babies with pierced ears.

[Niel]

A family friend this weekend took her 3month old to get her ears pierced... this upset me for a few reasons.


I feel like this does not benefit the baby in any way. I may be missing something and if there is some benefit I am open to listening, but in my mind I feel like punching holes in your child's ear should be something they are at least old enough to consent to.

Also, even and adult can get their ears infected, let alone a little baby that's barely leading to role over, with sticky baby hands that will constantly be playing with her ears. And I'm afraid she used a piercing gun, which isn't how you should do it anyways...

If there is a benefit to this please tell me I'd like to see the other side of this, because to me it seems like a very selfish move on the moms part.

 

[SB621]

I know in some cultures jewelry is seen as wealth so many girls have their ears pierced very young. When we lived in Asia most infants we saw had them. Not all, but alot more then I see here.

I also think out of my group of friends- the ones who really liked to dress their daughers up with hair bows, tutu's etc all had their ears pierced young too. I do think the benefit is that you have a sense of control to make sure they are cleaned etc vs. having children constantly touching them and getting them infected if they were a few years older.

Personally I'm not for it. I would rather wait till my daughter comes up to me and asks me to get it done. But I also seem to be the minority in my group of friends on the subject.

 

[amc80]

If we have a girl we will pierce her ears. Honestly I don't see what the big deal is. I wouldn't have cared if my ears had been pierced as a baby.

 

[Niel]

See my daughter is constantly playing with her ears, so I just imagine she would get them so infected, or pull out the things and eat them.

I told my SO the exact thing yesterday, as soon as she comes to me and asked, I will let her, but I will not do it to her.

 

[sonnyjane]

I don't like piercing a baby's ears simply because I feel like body modification should be a choice made by the person receiving the modification! I didn't get my ears pierced until I was 20!

 

[Niel]

If we have a girl we will pierce her ears. Honestly I don't see what the big deal is. I wouldn't have cared if my ears had been pierced as a baby.

Its modifying a child's body without their permission for the sole purpose of vanity of the mother. And its not without its possibility of complications.


As insignificant as it is I still find it unnecessary. I support piercing and have had my fair share, but that was my choice not anyone else's.

 

[ericad]

I see lots of baby girls with pierced ears. My mom got mine done when I was around 2 or 2 1/2. I have a very vague memory of it, though I'm not sure if it's a real memory or a created one, since my mom told me the story hundreds of times when I was a kid. It's not a choice that I'd personally make for my child, but it's common enough that it doesn't upset me. I rarely wear earrings as an adult, in fact until recently I had gone probably 15 years without ever putting earrings in, but the unused piercing holes never bothered me one bit - even though it wasn't my choice and I never use them, I'm not mad at my mom or regret having them or anything. Don't even give it a second thought. In fact, my mom let me get my ears pierced multiple times in my early teens - I have 3 on each side that I don't use. Meh - no biggie.

As for my own daughter, she asked to get hers done for her 6th bday and I took her to get them and she's loved them ever since. In fact I just gave her her first real diamond pair - two baby transitionals set in buttercups. Adorbs! And I did lots of research but still opted to have hers pierced by gun because they could do both ears simultaneously, while the body piercing shop would only do one at a time with the needle. I thought the latter would be more stressful for her and, in hindsight, it was the right choice. The "gun" holes healed just fine (H2Ocean is THE BEST!) She got a little red in the face, but didn't shed a single tear and remarked at how quick it was. On the flip side, her best friend got hers done last year at a body piercing shop and she cried a lot after the first ear, and it took a fair bit of time to mentally prepare herself for the second ear (she was freaked out and ready to just walk away with only one ear done.) It seemed much more traumatic.

Personally, I get far more worked up over things like circumcising baby boys, but that's a whole other thread topic, lol. But most people don't get upset over that practice - if we can have a "to each their own" attitude about lopping off a piece of baby's penis, I don't understand getting judgy over ear piercing. Yanno, if we're choosing battles...

 

[Boatluvr]

Dressing babies in designer clothes doesn't benefit them in any way, either.

A three month old does not have sticky fingers, let along being able to 'play' with their ears.

A baby boy does not have a choice about having a circumcision.

Parents usually do what is best for their child. Some things are dictated by tradition.

Why let something bother you that has nothing to do with you?

 

[Niel]

Dressing babies in designer clothes doesn't benefit them in any way, either.

A three month old does not have sticky fingers, let along being able to 'play' with their ears.

A baby boy does not have a choice about having a circumcision.

Parents usually do what is best for their child. Some things are dictated by tradition.

Why let something bother you that has nothing to do with you?

Dressing a baby in expensive clothes and body modification is hardly comparable

Three month olds do play with their eyes. Mine did every time she had a bottle.

A circumcision is done for health reasons. Not vanity.

It bothers me to see a bay hurt just for the sake of "being cute"


I would think I'm not the only one that thinks that. You don't I see, which is cool. I'm not saying its the end of the world nor do I hate my friend for I just truly don't get it.

 

[AGBF]

For the record, I did not pierce my daughter's ears when she was a baby. She was, however, born in Colombia. If she hadn't been going to be adopted, she would have had her ears pierced, I am sure. I spoke to the mother of another woman (also American) who was born in Venezuela when the family lived there. Everyone thought that her daughter was a boy in the nursery since she had not had her ears pierced at birth. In many South American countries it is routine to pierce the ears of baby girls when they are born. It works for them.

I had my ears pierced at 48. My daughter had to beg to have hers pierced as a young teenager. People from different cultures do things in different ways. I was brought up white bread.

Deb

 

[ericad]

[quote="Niel]


A circumcision is done for health reasons. Not vanity.

[/quote]

I vehemently disagree with you on this, as would many medical professionals and most foreign men.

 

[Niel]

For the record, I did not pierce my daughter's ears when she was a baby. She was, however, born in Colombia. I spoke to the mother of another woman (also American) who was born in Venezuela when the family lived there. Everyone thought that her daughter was a boy in the nursery since she had not had her ears pierced at birth. In many South American countries it is routine to pierce the ears of baby girls when they are born. It works for them.

I had my ears pierced at 48. My daughter had to beg to have hers pierced as a young teenager. People from different cultures do things in different ways. I was brought up white bread.

Deb

Maybe that's why it bothers me. We live in very white bread america. I've never ever seen a baby in real life with earrings.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

We won't be piercing our daughter's ears--as others have stated, DH and I think that she should make that choice for herself when she's old enough. Now as for when that should be, we don't agree. DH thinks 18 and I'd say something closer to 12, but we'll figure it out. DH feels strongly about not circumcising for the same reason, but we haven't had to cross that bridge yet.

My sister had her daughter's ears pierced at 6 months and I didn't give it a second thought. She didn't ask my opinion and I trusted my sister to do what she felt was best.

 

[Niel]

[quote="Niel]


A circumcision is done for health reasons. Not vanity.

I vehemently disagree with you on this, as would many medical professionals and most foreign men.[/quote][/quote]


Interesting. I don't have a son and never really put any thought I to it. I just remember in some classes I had at school that its done in order to help keep the head clean or something..... maybe I am wrong about that. But in not really saying I am for or against those either. Different subject I guess. Lol

 

[AGBF]

For the record, I did not pierce my daughter's ears when she was a baby. She was, however, born in Colombia. I spoke to the mother of another woman (also American) who was born in Venezuela when the family lived there. Everyone thought that her daughter was a boy in the nursery since she had not had her ears pierced at birth. In many South American countries it is routine to pierce the ears of baby girls when they are born. It works for them.

I had my ears pierced at 48. My daughter had to beg to have hers pierced as a young teenager. People from different cultures do things in different ways. I was brought up white bread.

Maybe that's why it bothers me. We live in very white bread america. I've never ever seen a baby in real life with earrings.

<Big smile>. I relate totally to the upbringing. My mother had me brainwashed. I had been going into New York City since I was three years old to see my psychoanalyst every Saturday, however, so I had been exposed to more exotic surroundings than were found in 1950's Greenwich, Connecticut with its dirt roads and horses!

I had seen little Puerto Rican girls with tiny stud earrings toddling around in New York all my life. I knew that they were different from me and that I wasn't dressed the way they were and wasn't allowed to have pierced ears the way they did, but I certainly saw it! I saw it and was told it that it wasn't what one did!!! That's why it took me until age 48 to do what all my friends were doing in the 1960's with needles and ice cubes (putting that one hole in their ears that was fashionable back then)!

Deb/AGBF

 

[tammy77]

On one hand, I think it's nice to not have the child go through the anxiety buildup that I witnessed both of my girls go through once they decided they wanted them done. On the other hand, I don't think that is worth taking away that choice from them. Both of my girls got their ears pierced at the age of 8. There were minimal tears but they both cared for their ears beautifully and they were proud of their bravery. It gave them a story to tell and the excitement of showing their friends their new earrings.

 

[Niel]

On one hand, I think it's nice to not have the child go through the anxiety buildup that I witnessed both of my girls go through once they decided they wanted them done. On the other hand, I don't think that is worth taking away that choice from them. Both of my girls got their ears pierced at the age of 8. There were minimal tears but they both cared for their ears beautifully and they were proud of their bravery. It gave them a story to tell and the excitement of showing their friends their new earrings.

Right I just can see my little lady being so excited to go get it. Like the first real decision she had to make for herself. Sounds adorable.

 

[Missy]

Where I work and live many babies have their ears pierced from a very young age. There's a large cultural influence and it is the norm here.

I didn't get my ears pierced until age 16 and that was because I wanted it. Then I didn't wear earrings till my early 30's lol and my piercings had partially closed but that's another story for a different thread. If I had a daughter I would want to wait till she asked to get her ears pierced and I think that is largely influenced by my upbringing. I wouldn't pierce an infants ears but I don't judge any parent for doing so because as I wrote before it really is culturally influenced and there is no right or wrong. It's not like it's a major alteration after all.

I do see where you are coming from Niel and if you are not used to seeing it on babies it might seem out of place for you but it's not a big deal and all the LO's that have their ears pierced seem very happy with their bling when they get a little older and can more appreciate it.

 

[AprilBaby]

I had my daughters ears done at 8 weeks. No crying, no pain. She didn't have sticky fingers and she never touched her ears. Babies don't even know they had them done. She has three brothers and at the time I did it to distinguish that she was not another brother. Was I wrong? Who knows. She never got an infection and she was happy she had it done without remembering. She is now 25 and has three holes in each ear. I see no down side to doing it.

 

[ruby59]

With my girls I waited until they asked me about having their ears pierced. I only agreed after I could be reasonably sure that they were mature enough to properly care for them. And that still did not stop the infections and having to let the piercings heal and then close resulting in having to have them repierced. So I guess there is no right answer that works for everyone.

As far as circumcision, I too thouught it was for health reasons. Isn't it supposed to make it easier for the man to keep that area clean and from what I understood, decreasing a woman's chance for cancer.

My husband's family is not Jewish, but that is why my mother in law had all of her sons circumcised.

 

[Niel]

I had my daughters ears done at 8 weeks. No crying, no pain. She didn't have sticky fingers and she never touched her ears. Babies don't even know they had them done. She has three brothers and at the time I did it to distinguish that she was not another brother. Was I wrong? Who knows. She never got an infection and she was happy she had it done without remembering. She is now 25 and has three holes in each ear. I see no down side to doing it.

Ah four babies at a time! Shoot. Good for you mom!


I apologize I'm not trying to come off as Judgy. Its the first time anyone has done this (among my friends) so to me all I can think of is negative reasons. Plus I have a thing about body modifications, that to me seems like a personal choice. I can get you wanting her to look like a girl, though. I just probably would have put a bow on her, lol, but I do see your reasoning. Like I said I was open to hearing positives about this, but I can only in my head see negatives.

 

[Sparklelu]

Well, I got mine pierced in some hippie smoke shop in the 60's at the age of 8 on New Years Eve cause my parents promised I could get them done that year. My piercings were never an issue. Never got an infection.
My DD got hers done in a jewelry store at 4 because she wanted to have diamonds on the souls of her shoes ( Paul Simon) and her ears! She never had an issue with them.

As for a child who is not your own, it shouldn't be an issue. Your child your decisions.

I will say my nieces were pierced at the hospital ( before going home) a cultural thing with their mom. They NEVER HAD an issue that in aware of. They never seemed to touch their ears with sticky or clean hands
They both have multiple piercings at the ages of 20 &22!

 

[Missy]

With my girls I waited until they asked me about having their ears pierced. I only agreed after I could be reasonably sure that they were mature enough to properly care for them. And that still did not stop the infections and having to let the piercings heal and then close resulting in having to have them repierced. So I guess there is no right answer that works for everyone.

As far as circumcision, I too thouught it was for health reasons. Isn't it supposed to make it easier for the man to keep that area clean and from what I understood, decreasing a woman's chance for cancer.

My husband's family is not Jewish, but that is why my mother in law had all of her sons circumcised.

This is what I learned as well. I believe there is some controversy surrounding this issue now. I think it is critical to keep the area very clean if one chooses not to circumcise.


ETA: FWIW Niel I don't think you came off as judgmental. I understood what you were saying and where you were coming from.

 

[fiona00004]

i really should be sleeping right now... but I just had to put my 2 cents in just because you brought up this topic.

I have a 3 year old son and a 1 year old daughter.

My DH and I agreed not to have my son circumcised. We are not religious and we felt like circumcision was just unnecessary pain for the baby. In terms of health reasons, my son will learn proper hygiene techniques as will my daughter when it comes to caring for their own bodies.

As for piercing my daughter's ears, my DH is not against it. He has no tattoos and no piercings. I have several tattoos and multiple body piercings, but I am adamant about waiting until my daughter tells me that she wants her ears pierced. I think that having them pierced for her only gives her pain that she did not ask for. In addition, what if she grows up not wanting her ears pierced? At least she is given the choice. I did say many times that she would look cute with earrings on but whatever, that is she just me... she doesn't care!

 

[Niel]

i really should be sleeping right now... but I just had to put my 2 cents in just because you brought up this topic.

I have a 3 year old son and a 1 year old daughter.

My DH and I agreed not to have my son circumcised. We are not religious and we felt like circumcision was just unnecessary pain for the baby. In terms of health reasons, my son will learn proper hygiene techniques as will my daughter when it comes to caring for their own bodies.

As for piercing my daughter's ears, my DH is not against it. He has no tattoos and no piercings. I have several tattoos and multiple body piercings, but I am adamant about waiting until my daughter tells me that she wants her ears pierced. I think that having them pierced for her only gives her pain that she did not ask for. In addition, what if she grows up not wanting her ears pierced? At least she is given the choice. I did say many times that she would look cute with earrings on but whatever, that is she just me... she doesn't care!

weirs because that's me too!

 

[VRBeauty]

Piercing babies' ears does seem to be largely a cultural thing.

My 2¢ worth is that babies and toddlers are perfectly adorable without earrings. Without bows held onto their heads with elastic bands too, for that matter.

 

[Smith1942]

Just another two things that are totally different from what I'm used to in my own country.

British men have never, and still are not, routinely circumcised. A circumcised boy would be an object of curiosity in the school changing rooms. I had never heard of routine circumcision for non-religious reasons until I met my husband, and when I realised that this is the way it is in the States, I was utterly amazed that something like that could be so different from the way things are done in the U.K. I suppose that, because we speak the same language, you just don't expect such gulfs between us in accepted practices.

The British men don't seem to come to any harm from it and, as far as I'm aware, do not die any earlier than their American counterparts! So that's basically millions and millions of men who manage just fine without circumcision. They enjoy sex more, too, since the tip of their penis is protected and not de-sensitised. I once read an article which said that the lovers of non-circumcised men were more satisfied in bed because their lovers were less hard work and required less stimulation and fewer BJs to get their rocks off. The uncircumcised boyfriends I've had were definitely less interested in receiving oral sex than circumcised boyfriends. ETA: That's not to say uncircumcised men don't enjoy BJs, but the circumcised ones seemed to really need the additional stimulation and they seemed to get a bit less out of vaginal sex than uncircumcised men.

As far as piercings, my husband and I are amazed at the amount of body adornment we see in the States. I've never seen so many tattoos and piercings in my life - well, not since the punk era of the 1970s! (I was a baby but I've seen pics.) I don't know anybody at home who has a tattoo or a double piercing, and no one I know would dream of doing a baby piercing. Body adornment just isn't really part of the culture. Walking around, you don't see much of it at all. Most girls (who want to) get their ears pierced between the age of 12 and 16. But my mother-in-law, who is in her mid-seventies, had a husband who forbade her to get her ears pierced at all, even once! Not sure why. He was from Danish parents, brought up in England but born in Ecuador, to where his parents had immigrated from Denmark.

 

[JewelFreak]

It is a cultural norm in many places, but if I had a daughter I wouldn't pierce her ears until she asked. Any age would be ok with me. My mother was brought up white bread too -- totally forbid me to have it done, so I sauntered across the street to a friend's house & had her mother pierce them with the ole needle & ice cube.

Great moment when Dad let me go to his friend's upscale jewelry store & buy 2 pairs of earrings as soon as my ears healed. I was about 15. Got a pair of 14K balls & one of jadeite balls. (Small -- Dad told his friend how much I could spend before I got there. )

If a teenage or younger son wanted his ears pierced, I wouldn't be so nuts about it. What do you think for boys' ears?

--- Laurie

 

[Smith1942]

It is a cultural norm in many places, but if I had a daughter I wouldn't pierce her ears until she asked. Any age would be ok with me. My mother was brought up white bread too -- totally forbid me to have it done, so I sauntered across the street to a friend's house & had her mother pierce them with the ole needle & ice cube.

Great moment when Dad let me go to his friend's upscale jewelry store & buy 2 pairs of earrings as soon as my ears healed. I was about 15. Got a pair of 14K balls & one of jadeite balls. (Small -- Dad told his friend how much I could spend before I got there. )

If a teenage or younger son wanted his ears pierced, I wouldn't be so nuts about it. What do you think for boys' ears?

--- Laurie

When he's 18 and out of the house to college he can do what he wants. When he's below the age of majority, still a child, and living under my roof, there will be no piercings, tattoos or long hair!

 

[jaysonsmom]

I had my daughters ears done at 8 weeks. No crying, no pain. She didn't have sticky fingers and she never touched her ears. Babies don't even know they had them done. She has three brothers and at the time I did it to distinguish that she was not another brother. Was I wrong? Who knows. She never got an infection and she was happy she had it done without remembering. She is now 25 and has three holes in each ear. I see no down side to doing it.

I had my baby girl's ears pierced around 4 months, same experience, she was not old enough to have discovered her ears, and all the care was in my hands, no infection, no memory of pain, and no regrets! I too wanted to differentiate her from her brother, because both of them had little to no hair as infants. We are second generation Asian-American, and my mom and I both had our ears pierced when we were older (I had mine around 8, my mom had hers pierced as an adult)...and had more incidences of infection. To each their own.

As for comparing it to circumcision....I would never go there. I chose not to get my son circumcised, did a lot of reaserch and determined there was no medical/health need. Plus, taking an earring out and letting the piercing close is easier than reconstructing foreskin.....but that's going off-topic!