Babies Sleeping Through the Night

[so cal girl]

Okay, now that I am back at work, and have a computer that works, I am actually able to post again! And I''ve got a lot of things on my mind. First and foremost is the sleeping habit of babies.

For those mommies out there, how old were your children when they started sleeping through the night? What did you do to help facilitate this?

I know from reading some other threads that a lot of you use the EASY method. I started trying this around 2 months old, and for a week my DS only woke up once a night. I was ecstatic! But, after that week, he went back to waking up twice a night. I know that doesn''t sound like a lot, but now that I''m back at work, the lack of sleep is starting to hit me. I''d really like to work to get DS back to the once a night feeding, or maybe no night feedings at all (one can always dream)!

I''ve tried earlier bedtimes, later bedtimes, feeding more before bedtime, and nothing seems to work. His current schedule is going to bed between 8 and 9:00, wake up at around 1:00, and again at around 4:00, then up for the day at around 7:00.

We went away for a couple of days of the holiday break, and since DS loves to sleep in the car, he went a couple of times with 6 hours between feedings, so I know he can go that long without a feeding.

We transitioned him to his crib a week ago when he his three months, and I thought that might help him sleep better, since the crib mattress seems much more comfortable than the co-sleeper, but his sleeping habits have not changed. I thought maybe I''d try to soothe him back to sleep without feeding him for at least one of the feedings, but he gets himself ridiculously worked up, and will not go back to sleep without a feed.

I guess I just need your guys'' advice. All my other mommy friends either have really easy babies who started sleeping through the night on their own by 8 weeks, or they have one year olds who still can''t make it through the night. I don''t want to end up in that second group!

 

[neatfreak]

IMO three months is really early for most babies to STTN. I think the most important thing at this age is to get into a routine, with a set bedtime (I do like early bedtimes-mine go to bed at 7) and then wean them off one feed/wakeup at a time. That's what worked best for us. You can try and push back his feeding when he wakes up by not feeding him for awhile, but that might not be feasible while you're working. Might want to try that every weekend or something. Eventually you'd push back enough that he's only waking for one feeding, and then eliminate that one too.

We also did do CIO later on when they regressed-but he's too young for that right now IMO.

I know it's hard but most 3 month old babies are just not STTN for the most part. Either your friends are all EXTREMELY lucky or they are liars.

Mine have been great sleepers and they didn't start STTN until about 4 months IIRC.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Seems like neither of my boys slept through the night at one year. My oldest, when he was first born, woke up nearly every hour or two. I was so sleep deprived, that instead of using the bassinette we had, I co-slept with him so I could snooze while nursing him. That was a tremendous help.

I cannot remember when he finally did begin sleeping all night. At one year, I stopped b/fing him and was TTC and became pregnant shortly after, so everything is a blurr.

 

[rockpaperscissors67]

I don''t think any of my 5 so far were sleeping through the night consistently even at a year. However, because I co-slept with the last 3, it *felt* like they were sleeping through because by the time they were a month old, I could nurse them without fully waking myself.

I tried CIO with #1 and realized that I''m simply too much of a wuss to do it.

 

[Dreamer_D]

My son slept through the night at 9 months and we used CIO to help get him there. Prior to that he woke 2-4 times per night from birth until we did CIO!

 

[Burk]

My daughter slept through the night around 4 months and she''s a pretty good sleeper. I agree with Neat that routine is important. I also am a fan of early bedtime (mine goes down around 7:30) and then try to cut out one feeding at a time.

 

[qtiekiki]

DD slept 5-6 hours stretch starting at 3 weeks, so we were lucky. The length of her sleep constantly increased since then. It was getting her to fall asleep on her own that was hard for us, but we stuck with a routine. She eventually got it and it was good for most nights. Now at 18 months, we are having sleep regression (issues with her falling asleep on her own again). Just two nights ago, she showed us that she can climb out of her bed. So we can no longer just put her in her crib and let her CIO. Last night, we put her in her crib after she fell asleep. But she woke up at 4:30am crying, and b/c of the danger of her climbing out of her crib, we brought her to our bed. We also need to try different things to get back on track. So we basically were in both groups you described.

But big DITTO NF on keeping a constant routine. That should eventually let your little guy that it’s bedtime. We started CIO when M was 4 months for her to fall asleep by herself. I have to say though that even though CIO worked at that age. It’s no longer working for us at 18 months (this came up in the toddler thread with a few mommies). Despite that, we still go through the same bedtime routine to keep everything consistent. I hope she’ll eventually get it again.

 

[swingirl]

Your baby''s sleep pattern sounds pretty normal. Just because your baby "lasted" for 6 hours between feedings doesn''t mean that that''s the norm. Babies need to eat often at that age and they don''t like to be left alone. There wasn''t anything I did to facilitate my kids body and brain development. DD slept through the night around a year, DS not until he was 2. Different bodies, different brains, different personalities.

The real issue is how will you survive it. Lots of cat naps and eventually your body will get used to the disruption.

 

[Burk]

I also wanted to mention that the actual definition of sleeping through the night is only like 6 hours. When I say my DD slept through the night I mean 10 plus hours!

 

[ChinaCat]

So Cal- I just wanted to say I really feel for you. Going back to work was really really tough on me, and when my DS was also waking up at night, I was miserable and barely surviving. I know it''s hard, so big hugs to you.

That being said, I really think each kid does things on their own time. I know that''s not very helpful, and when I was trying to get O to sleep, people telling me that didn''t make me feel any better. But there it is!

Just to share my experience:

O dropped the 1 am feeding at around 5 weeks. So he would go to bed anywhere b/w 8:30 and 9:30 pm and sleep till 4 or 5 am. Then around 2 months he started sleeping till 6 or 7 am. The only things I did were to religiously feed him every 3 hours or so from birth, even waking him up to eat until 5 weeks when the ped said I could let him go longer. I also made sure that he had at least 6 feedings a day, even if I had to cluster feed a bit before bedtime. What is your child''s schedule like during the day? How often do you feed/nap?

It''s a crapshoot. My kid was a fantastic sleeper till I went back to work. He got up once a night for about 2 weeks, then back to STTN. Then Christmas came and he got up again until last night, when he slept all night again. So even if you have a great sleeper, they change it up on you all the time.

Hope you get some better answers than this! Come visit the newborn thread and vent away if you need to.

 

[fieryred33143]

5m3w2d

She is currently 6m3d

With Sophia I have taken the "she will do what she does when she does it" approach and so far it has worked. Even now I''m not counting on her to STTN officially.

I agree with keeping a routine and if you can I''d make it a really simple routine. We used to incorporate a bath into her bedtime routine but that didn''t work on nights when we would get home late and I''d want to skip the shower. So now her routine is lotion, pjs, bottle, bed.

I will say though that Sophia has fallen into her own schedule. She is awake for 2 hours (not including her feeding time) before needing a nap. It''s like clockwork. Two hours hit and she starts rubbing her eyes.

I also worked on eliminating feeding sessions as soon as I realized that she wasn''t really eating. For example, she would wake between 10pm and midnight but would only take about 2oz before falling back to sleep. So I stopped giving her a bottle and instead would soothe back to sleep (pick up/put down, rub her back, do the shh shh shh thing). After a few days, she would sleep through that feed and wouldn''t wake until 2-4am. That was the schedule we were on until about 2 weeks ago when she started taking much less during those hours. I increased her 7:30 bottle and stop feeding when she would wake up and now she sleeps from 7:30 until 7am.

 

[ponder]

My little one started transitioning from 3 hour feedings to 5-7 hour night time feedings at around 2 months. My MD recommended staying on schedule during the day (never letting her sleep more than 3 hours at one time) and then letting her eat as much and as often as she wanted in the evenings. He refered to it as "tanking up" for the big sleep. By 3 months she was doing 7 hours of straight sleep (10pm-5am) a night, eat quickly (5am), then immediately back down for 3 more hours.

By 6 months she does 10 hours straight 10pm-8am. (This became more common at 4 months)

Also, we swaddle. I really think this is what makes the difference for us. We swaddled her since day one. She usually only wakes up is if she becomes unswaddled. My DH wraps her so snuggly that she is in the same position in the morning that we left her in. My family jokingly refers to it as the straight jacket.

I am exclusively bf so I never changed her diet, but alot of people will add rice cereal in around this time. Is your baby truly hungry or just quickly pacifying themselves back to sleep?

Every baby is different. My MD described it as everyone needs an individual number of hours of sleep each day, whether the sleep occurs during the day or night. Monitor nap lengths so that you are not robbing Peter to pay Paul.

Your baby''s sleep really seems quite normal, Neatfreak is right, most babies wake up at least once a night for the first 6 months if not a year.

In talking to people, my kid is the exception. But she is very laid back and has always been a good sleeper. We had to set an alarm to wake her to feed for the first month.

 

[Pandora II]

I started fully co-sleeping at about 3.5 months and since then Daisy has slept from midnight till the alarm goes off at 7.30 or until between 8.30 - 10.00am if it''s not on. So if you are talking the ''6 hours'' STTN then since 3.5 months, if you are talking 7pm to 7am, then she still isn''t at 7.5 months. She still feeds during the night but like RPS I don''t really notice.

She goes to bed between 7.30pm and 8pm, but I will normally go in twice between then and midnight as she''ll wake up. As long as I get there fast she just goes straight back to sleep after a few minutes, if I leave it a few minutes then she''s fully awake and it takes longer to put her down again.

I''m not really worried about STTN, I won''t do CIO, and I get plenty of sleep so this works really well for us. I also love having a snuggly warm baby next to me all night and the grins in the morning are great!

 

[so cal girl]

Thanks for the reality check ladies. It is just so hard when everyone asks if your kid is sleeping through the night, and when you say no, they look at you like you are a horrible parent. And when all these people keep telling me their kids STTN at 5 weeks or 8 weeks or whatever, I start to feel like I''m doing something wrong.

I do keep him on a pretty strict schedule during the day. He eats every three hours, with the last hour of that usually being taken up by a nap. I usually feed him a little closer together the last few feeds of the day so that he gets in some more feeds before bedtime, maybe like 2.5 hours apart. Not sure if that helping or not.

Now that I''m at work during the day, I''m not sure how well the schedule will work. I''ve got his caregivers writing down when he sleeps and naps. I''ve given them a general idea of when I think he will be hungry/tired, and we''ll see if he follows that. The thing is, he has 3 different people caring for him over the course of the week (my mom, MIL, ands a SAHM neighbor), and I''m hoping they will all sort of follow my routine, but I can''t guarantee that.

I know I''m not ready for CIO. I really don''t think I would even try it before 6 months. I was just hoping to maybe eliminate a feeding by 4 months. I think I could survive with just one feeding a night. Only getting up once a night sounds like heaven right now!

 

[Allisonfaye]

I dont'' know what the easy method is but I will say (and please don''t think I am judging anyway) that I think 2 months is too young to expect a baby to sleep through the night. Babies get hungry. Babies need comfort. Babies wake up in the night.

My girls both started sleeping through around the same time 8-9 months. Around 4 months, I started giving them a soft object (one was a stuffed soft doll and one was a small cat with a soft bottom) and every single time I nursed them, I let them hold it. By 8 to 9 months, they were sufficiently attached to it. Neither one of them had a pacifier ever. One sucked her thumb. The other sucked her fingers. The only time I had any sleep issues were during teething. Both are amazing sleepers.

 

[neatfreak]

You are NOT a bad mom socal!!! Honestly, I think people who haven't had infants like in the last year or two need a filter when they speak. They always seem to of had the perfect infant, who did perfect things, and sometimes look at you like you have three heads if you say anything different.

I think many are lying. Not intentionally, but lying because they don't really remember but their fuzzy brain **thinks** it happened then. And since everyone wants to tell people their child is a genius for everything they do, they err on telling people that their kid did things on the early side. And sometimes they don't remember what is reasonable for that age child to do.

Want to hear a great whopper I heard when my twins were little? Some twin mom came up to me (who had twins 7 years ago) and told me that her twins would CLIMB OUT OF THE CRIB AND INTO THE OTHER BABY'S CRIB AT **4 MONTHS**. Seriously lady??? And when I questioned her politely about the timeline she insisted it was at 4 months.

Now I don't know what kind of freaks she has but if you've seen a 4 month old recently (especially one that was 2 months premature as her twins were) they are not climbing over no crib at 4 months. Crazy lady.

So my point is that some people elaborate to make themselves seem like amazing parents or they forget and tell you things that aren't true.

Just do your best and know that every kid really is different and you can only do what you can do. Hang in there!

 

[Allisonfaye]

I agree with swaddling younger babies although it was hard to keep them swaddled after a month or two. The Miracle Blanket was the best solution that I found and even that wasn''t a match for my Houdini (second) baby.

 

[Mara]

i was going to say what burk did ... in the books i am reading it stresses that ''STTN'' is technically only like 5-6 hours at a time. i think most people tend to think ''9 hours or more'' kind of thing. i am so glad i saw that because i think i''d have these crazy unrealistic expectations otherwise.

the other thing (and i have no real hands on experience yet, just reading)...is that most of the stuff i have read notes that that the babies move through ''stages'' and whereas you might have had a great sleeper for a few months, suddenly they are not sleeping and something has changed and parents tend to freak out. they note that you can continue to move fwd, but it might take a modified method or a week or two while you figure out the new routine. one of my friends has a 4 month old that is starting to wake more and she is freaking out that he is becoming a bad sleeper but to me it just sounds like he''s in a new stage and she has to figure it out.

i am totally earmarking this thread to read more AFTER the baby comes!

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 1/4/2010 4:48:55 PM
Author: Mara

one of my friends has a 4 month old that is starting to wake more and she is freaking out that he is becoming a bad sleeper but to me it just sounds like he''s in a new stage and she has to figure it out.

i am totally earmarking this thread to read more AFTER the baby comes!

Tell her "4 month wakeful"

 

[ChinaCat]

Also, the thing is if you ask me during a good period if he is STTN, I would say yes. But if you had asked me the past two weeks, I would say NO. So take everything you hear with a grain of salt!

And just don''t listen to other new mothers (besides us, of course!). I am constantly astounded by all of the claims of new mothers that I know can''t be true. And along with that, the "this is the best thing I''ve ever done, this has been the best month of my life, my baby is so wonderful" attitudes almost sent me over the edge b/c I assumed that meant that none of them were having the hard time that I was having. Get one alone and start venting about stuff, and it all comes tumbling out. This is hard for everyone and we all struggle with different things.

Sounds like you are doing everything right and your DS will eventually STTN, I promise. I would definitely try and get your 3 caretakers on a similar schedule, b/c at least with my DS, if I get him off schedule at all, he starts waking up again.

Also, swaddling worked wonders for us.

Another thought: do you go get him up immediately when he starts making noise at night? For example, O would routinely wake at 4 or 5 am and "talk" or "yelp" for a few minutes. One night I just happened to not get to him in time, and he had fallen back asleep. So I started not getting him up unless he was actually crying. That''s my rule now, as well. I am not talking about CIO, but just letting him make noise/fuss/stir a bit without immediately picking him up. If he cries, pick him up, but if not, see if he''ll settle himself.

And Mara, yes, 4 months seems to be a universal big change. All of my friends that had babies that slept well early started waking up around 4 months again.

So Cal, good luck. And if you find something that works, let us know!

 

[somethingshiny]

JT was about 3 months when he STTN. As soon as his colic passed, he slept at least 8 hours straight and quickly went to 10 hrs. He only fed every 4 hours from birth. At 3 weeks he''d go around 5 hrs at night. I kept him in my room for about 2 weeks and then moved him to his crib in his room. When he''d wake for a feeding, I was immediately by his side. When he would wake at other times, I''d give him 2-3 minutes to see if he would go back to sleep (this felt like SOO long!!). We have always had a bedtime routine and have never had sleep issues with him (he''s almost 4). I don''t know that it''s so much what WE did, but what kind of personality HE has. We did CIO a few times (after he was sleeping through the night), but nothing excessive.

 

[TravelingGal]

STTN (6 hours) was sometimes around 6 weeks? STTN 12 hours was on July 4th, 2008 - 3 months and 3 days. She was early and I have no idea what triggered it.


I don''t think it''s unrealistic to work toward a 10-12 hour sleep stretch by the time the baby is 4-6 months though, if that''s what one wants to do.

 

[vespergirl]

When my son was around 5 months old he was only waking up once a night (slept from 7 pm - 2:30 am - I would feed him, and he would go right back to bed from 3 - 7 am). At 9 months the ped told me that he didn''t need night feedings anymore, so we let him cry it out. After one night of CIO, he was sleeping 12 hours through the night.

 

[ponder]

Date: 1/4/2010 4:28:13 PM
Author: Allisonfaye
I agree with swaddling younger babies although it was hard to keep them swaddled after a month or two. The Miracle Blanket was the best solution that I found and even that wasn''t a match for my Houdini (second) baby.

My little one became too big to swaddle with regular receiving blankets at about 2 months also. I went to the fabric store and got flannel cut 45 inches square; it worked until 4 months. At 4 months my mom pieced flannel together to make enormous swaddled blankets. My friends laugh at me, but my kid sleeps 10 hours a night. We plan on swaddling as long as possible.

 

[Mara]

Date: 1/4/2010 7:25:14 PM
Author: ponder

Date: 1/4/2010 4:28:13 PM
Author: Allisonfaye
I agree with swaddling younger babies although it was hard to keep them swaddled after a month or two. The Miracle Blanket was the best solution that I found and even that wasn''t a match for my Houdini (second) baby.

My little one became too big to swaddle with regular receiving blankets at about 2 months also. I went to the fabric store and got flannel cut 45 inches square; it worked until 4 months. At 4 months my mom pieced flannel together to make enormous swaddled blankets. My friends laugh at me, but my kid sleeps 10 hours a night. We plan on swaddling as long as possible.

we got the aden and adais wraps that are 47x47 --a lot of moms seem to swear by them for swaddling.

one of my friends swaddled her son til almost 1 year old. he loved it.

one of my other friends said she is getting flak for still swaddling at 4 months. why would that be the case, does anyone know?

 

[mela lu]

This is a passionate topic - indeed!

We did CIO at 16 weeks and he''s been STTN (12 hrs) ever since. I decided to do CIO because he was only nursing for a few mins when he woke up for his one night feed. It was more habit than hunger.

Swaddling helped to keep him asleep longer; since he wouldnt wake himself up with flailing arms.

Also, I think it''s *key* to get as many feedings into the day, so that you can rest assured that you LO is not in fact hungry in the middle of the night. I''d say feed every 3 hrs in the day (not letting him go 6 hrs) to make sure he''s got his daily intake.

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 1/4/2010 7:28:32 PM
Author: Mara

Because hands can be an important part of learning at that age. If they can''t move/access/look at their hands then you''re delaying important developmental milestones.

I doubt it''s a problem if you just want to swaddle at night but if the kid is swaddled for all naps, then the kid is swaddled a LOT of the day.

I think that''s about the age that most kids naturally start to fight it too IIRC.

 

[mela lu]

Date: 1/4/2010 7:33:09 PM
Author: neatfreak

Date: 1/4/2010 7:28:32 PM
Author: Mara

I think that''s about the age that most kids naturally start to fight it too IIRC.

I think that you''d want your child to be able to self-soothe by 4 months. Hopefully, by 4 months, they are getting used to their body movements and their own limbs shouldn''t wake them up anymore...or if they do, they can learn to fall back asleep.

 

[Mara]

thanks gals. the friend only swaddles at night.

for those whose kids STTN...those who did CIO. did anyone try non-CIO methods first? just wondering how many started with non-CIO methods but end up with CIO working out.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I started sleep training at 4 months (she had 2 night feedings). At 5 months she dropped one. Finally at 6 months she slept 12 hours a night. I know they call sleeping through the night 5-6 hours but I don''t.

We had to CIO once the pedi gave me the okay to drop the night feedings (she was on the weight watch list).

NF, people''s memories OBVIOUSLY play tricks on them. That is a funny story. Most babies aren''t even sitting at 4 months.