At the end of my rope- Upstairs Neighbor from hell

[AmberWaves]

Okay, my neighbor isn't really from hell.

We've lived in this building for three and a half years now, and out of all our neighbors she's the one we're closest with, but by close I mean we'll catsit for her and we'll talk while we're out walking our dogs. She broke up with a long-term boyfriend a few months ago, and has since found herself a new man, and I'm totally happy for her.

My happiness is starting to turn to hate as she and the new boy have really really really loud sex. That's not a problem most of the time. The problem is that since they both don't work (she's on disability and would get sued, he doesn't work or go to school- 20 year age difference between them, go Susan!) they don't have any schedules to keep. This means we get jolted awake any time from 1:30am to 5:30am. This morning it was 4:30 AND 5:30. I'm all for her seeing a new guy, as long as I get to sleep. We go to bed at 11pm, sometimes a little later and wake up at 6:00. This happens Monday through Friday. It's really pisses me off to get forced awake two hours before my alarm goes off by moaning, a shaking bed, LAUGHING (what the hell is THAT all about), and really loud footsteps across the ceiling.

We've had trouble with her before, vacuuming at freaking 1am on a Wednesday, dogs barking at 2am. I don't know what to do anymore. Should I leave a note, try to catch her when she's in (she's rarely home when I'm home and awake)? The BF seems to have abandoned whatever structure he inhabited before he met her, as he's CONSTANTLY here playing loud music and banging around up there even when she's gone. I haven't been introduced, so I can't go up to him. It's getting so bad that I'm considering grabbing a broom and banging on the ceiling. I've got earplugs by my bed now for crying out loud.

Please help me!

 

[Linda W]

Amber,

When I was single, I had the same problem you have. Only the woman lived below me. She and her husband would wake me up all hours of the night with their loud sex. I would go to work exhausted.

I confronted her one day and she was so embarrassed she almost died. She didn''t realize I could hear them. That I couldn''t believe, but that is what she said. Try talking to her and see what she says.

As for the loud noise and stomping around that is just plain rude. Also talk to her about her boyfriend and ask if they could please be quiet, as you have to get up for work.

I hope you can get this resolved.

Linda

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

You either need to talk to her or go and ring her doorbell when you hear them getting started

Seriously, she truely might not realize how much you can hear. When I first started dating my FI I was living in the dorm and I only saw him once a week so we were VERY glad to see each other. We had no idea we could be heard but through a rather convoluted grapevine I accidentally found out the whole hall knew when he was in town! I was mortified and it didn''t happen again.

Once she is aware how thin the floors are she may be better about her other behaviors as well. I would forgo critizing the BF for now, even if he is loud too.

 

[ladypirate]

I had a downstairs neighbor who was so loud, he''d wake up the entire apartment complex with his GF. One day, he was going at it and clearly said "yeah, who''s your daddy!?". Someone else in the complex yelled "If I were your daddy, I''d tell you to shut up so the rest of us could get some sleep!" It was awesome, and they weren''t as loud after that.

 

[Linda W]

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. That is funnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnny LP


Linda

 

[Selkie]

Amber, ugh. I''m in sort of the same situation, except it''s our next door neighbor whose kitchen shares the wall with our bedroom (and WE are very quiet during any and all activities for that very reason

). The woman who lives there is fine, but she''s had this string of horrible boyfriends who either use the blender at 3AM or who have loud cell phone convos while clanking pans and dishes around at ridiculous hours. We, and the woman who lives on her opposite side, have both approached her numerous times. She''s always sorry, but has some excuse like: "He''s deaf in one ear so he doesn''t realize how loud he talks." Well, fine, tell him to go be loud in the LIVING ROOM that doesn''t adjoin our bedroom. Why are people so freaking inconsiderate?? I''m so sick of apartment living.

 

[AmberWaves]

Hahahahahah, That''s hilarious! I swear, I''m going to put a note on his car: "Go home, get a job, and STOP MOANING SO DAMN LOUD!"

 

[LegacyGirl]

I used to take a broom and beat the ceiling with it. That pretty much shut everyone up. I pray to god I never live in another apartment ever again.

 

[AmberWaves]

Legacy girl, I hear ya. I''ve only ever lived in houses, and this is just insane. I am getting my broom ready for tonight.

 

[sunnyd]

Gross. I would put an anonymous letter under the door, or talk to her, since you have some sort of relationship with the woman. If all else fails, start banging the ceiling!!

These people moved into the townhome next to us recently, and they have a 3 year old who loooooves to scream and run around at 11. Which isn''t all that late, but still. I''m in bed! The last time I heard them was at 1230, when the dad was playing airplane with her. Screaming all over the place. A couple of bangs on the wall, and it''s been quiet. Go figure...

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 4/2/2008 1:24:23 PM
Author: ladypirate
I had a downstairs neighbor who was so loud, he'd wake up the entire apartment complex with his GF. One day, he was going at it and clearly said 'yeah, who's your daddy!?'. Someone else in the complex yelled 'If I were your daddy, I'd tell you to shut up so the rest of us could get some sleep!' It was awesome, and they weren't as loud after that.

ROFLMAO. That ROCKS!
I'm in the banging contingent.

 

[ladypirate]

Date: 4/2/2008 7:48:15 PM
Author: Gypsy

Date: 4/2/2008 1:24:23 PM

Author: ladypirate

I had a downstairs neighbor who was so loud, he''d wake up the entire apartment complex with his GF. One day, he was going at it and clearly said ''yeah, who''s your daddy!?''. Someone else in the complex yelled ''If I were your daddy, I''d tell you to shut up so the rest of us could get some sleep!'' It was awesome, and they weren''t as loud after that.

ROFLMAO. That ROCKS!

I''m in the banging contingent.

Banging in which sense? I get the feeling her neighbors are really in the banging contingent...

 

[Linda W]

LP you crack me up!!!

Linda

 

[LegacyGirl]

Hehe you guys are to funny.

Make sure you use the broom handle as it makes a louder bang. Find out there their bed is (I could always tell as my ceiling would be shaking) and thrust the broom up with a banging motion (stop thinking dirty here!!!) just to the side of the bed. Trust me they''ll shut up quick!

 

[fisherofmengirly]

The neighbor above us had this odd habit of playing LOUD music at 2am, when she got home from work. Every night. She also had a habit of vacuuming at 2 or 3am and she also liked to play video games with her game system hooked up to speakers. LOUD ones. It took us a while to figure out if it was above us or above us, one apartment over, or across from us (we share a bedroom wall). Anyway, the girl is nice and we have casual conversations when walking dogs, etc.

I told her it was making us nuts, all the noise. She said, "geesh, I know what you mean. Who keeps waking me up at 7am every morning?" It was hilarious, because I''ve never heard anything at 7am and she thought nothing of the vacuuming at 3am. When I mentioned someone was doing that, she slapped her hand to her forehead and said she couldn''t believe we could hear that! No, really? Because her floor is our ceiling! Anyway, since she realized we hear the machine sucking above our ceiling, she''s stopped. There''s also no more sounds like aliens are about to land when she''s playing video games at night. It''s been blissful.

I''d suggest talking to her, maybe asking if she knows where the noise is coming from, so she doesn''t take it too personally. We really weren''t positive where any of the noises other than the vacuuming were coming from, so it worked well for us....

Good luck! Hope you get some good sleep tonight!

 

[FrekeChild]

Hmmm...My upstairs neighbor likes to have sex at 7am on Saturday mornings. Ever since the first time (this was when she first moved in) I''ve considered calling the cops. Being that my parents own our unit (apartments turned into condos) and she''s just renting it probably wouldn''t look good to her landlord.

It''s so disconcerting to be woken up by a deep male voice moaning and a high voice screeching. And don''t get me started on her stomping around...

 

[AmberWaves]

Freke- that''s it EXACTLY. All I know about this guy are the sounds he makes. And then HER sounds. I reaaaaally don''t want to have to hear this every single night. I''m not sure if it happened last night as I''ve gotten into the sad habit of benadryling my self to sleep every night. The good thing is, my allergies have never been better... bad thing is being a zombie the next morning. It''s insane because it''s only weeknights (mornings?) they wake us up. On weekends it''s nothing. If I run into her today I may just ask if she could possibly "keep it down" a little between midnight and say.... 6am. What a pain.

Thank you everyone for your advice!

 

[ladypirate]

Date: 4/2/2008 8:01:41 PM
Author: Linda W
LP you crack me up!!!

Linda

Thanks, Linda!

 

[chizzy1982]

I really feel for you. I have just come to the end of a long 8 month neighbour soap opera . We were being woken nightly between 2am - 5am with screaming, moaning, banging, scratching on the walls, dragging of chiars, slamming of doors etc

.
We had some friends stay over and they were so scared they actually did think somebody was in trouble it was that loud. We invited other friends over to stay so we could ascertain where it was coming from and then an action plan. It was definatley coming from upstairs and we should confront her in a friendly manner was the descion made. So we went round and somehow managed to make her think she was having night terrors - she was quite open to this suggestion! It continued so we wrote letters, banged on the floor, made noise when we heard then doing it etc but it kept carrying on so we felt we had no option but to call the police (local station not emergancy call) just to see if they could have a quiet word and make sure they lady was ok. We thought she lived on her own but were definatley hearing 2 disticnt tones of moan hence why we thought she may have been in trouble. But again it carried on. The Police rang me back and said she thought she was having night terrors so there was nothing they could do. Eventually we went and spoke to her again, cue lots of tears and us asking whether she had anybody else in there that shouldn''t have been like an illegal immigrant or an elderly relative she was caring for or something

( i know that sounds crazy but we were really clutching at straws at this point and very sleep depraved!) We also thought this because we were hearing the noises when we knew she wasn''t there ( nurse who works night shifts). Anyway she then begins to wonder if maybe she has ghosts or somebody was breaking into her flat when she wasn''t there (I''m really not kidding here!!) so she gives us her keys as she was on nights and says if we hear the noise to let ourselves in and check things out!!
At this point my absolutely concrete case of her breaking the law by harbouring illiegal immigrants who are do all sorts in the middle of the night starts to show some cracks and a few doubts crept into my mind..........hhm maybe shes not the one making all the noise I think. So we have her keys and lo and behold are woken that night by the screaming and light pinging on and off. I decided there was only one think for it as the BF was too scared to go and see if there were actually ghosts upstairs - I leg it out side onto the front lawn (in the middle of winter with my PJ''s only on!) to see which light was going on/off................. to my absolute horror I see it is the man who lives below us and not the woman above us!!!

Cue utter mortification on our part and much grovelling to the lady upstairs for acussing her of all sorts and a stern letter to the man downstairs. The man downstairs is actaully deaf and is a night owl - quite what he is doing is anybodies guess.........but the letter worked and he has really quietend down.
I kept my workmates amused for months with that little saga!

Amberwaves (if you got this far down my lengthy post - sorry!)- i would write an anynmous letter to the lady - but before you do I would strongly recommend you make sure it is her!!! Just to aviod any emmbarressment

 

[Linda W]

Amber,

Have you tried wearing ear plugs??? Seriously they work. I have to wear those suckers every night because of my husbands snoring!!!

Linda

 

[AmberWaves]

Thanks all!

Linda: I have ear plugs, great ones, in fact! Despite that, I still hear it. Maybe I just have really good ears? My husband wakes up, too, and this man has slept through earthquakes. I may just leave a note at some point.

Chizzy: I totally thought you had ghost neighbors!!! Thanks for the advice, I think a note may be best. IF I don''t run into her outside or something.

 

[ladypirate]

Date: 4/3/2008 2:12:58 PM
Author: Linda W
Amber,


Have you tried wearing ear plugs??? Seriously they work. I have to wear those suckers every night because of my husbands snoring!!!


Linda

LOL! When my family would all go camping when we were kids, the biggest thing we had to worry about was getting to sleep before my dad. Otherwise we would all be kept awake by his snoring. I swear, my mother is a saint...

 

[MoonWater]

Wow, I feel your pain. In fact, I'm pretty sure we are simply cursed with bad neighbors.

First time: Young couple having loud sex in the middle of the night. Except, it wasn't even good sex. It was very, very boring sounding. I wish I could imitate the moans for you, because if you weren't super sleepy it would be more funny and depressing than irritating. We were never able to do anything about it because we couldn't exactly figure out where it was coming from!

Second time: Next door neighbor had bi-polar and heard voices. She would call the cops all the time due to the voices she swore was coming from other houses. One time she broke into my house and chased me up the stairs trying to shut me up because she thought it was me talking to her. We took her to court and she was forced to sell her house and move in with relatives.

Third time: This was the same house as the woman above. I really think that house is cursed. This time it was a mother, daughter combo. I'm pretty sure they were both meth addicts and were possibly selling as well. Heaven knows the mom was trying to sell her body to one of our other neighbors. The strange thing, it wasn't a bad area. The entire block was full of old people, really quite. Anyhoo, the police were constantly on our street because there was always some sort of domestic violence issue going on. Btw, did I mention the mom and daughter were strippers? Yeah, they got fired though. So there was this banging sound, we would hear it any time of the day and all hours of the night. FF joked that they were tenderizing meat. Well, this is when I had a job where I had to be at work by 6:30am and I am a cranky person when someone steals my sleepy time! So one morning, the banging started around 4am, I hopped out of bed and ran over to bang on their front door. I was completely out of it and screamed "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?" By this time, FF was down with me. The mom said that her daughter was...get this....wait for it......TENDERIZING MEAT!! WTF?!?! I asked, at this hour? She was like, she just got off work and "she gotta eat too." I think if FF wasn't there I would have strangled that woman. Prior to all of this the mom use to fight with her boyfriend and I'd bang on the wall to tell them to shut up. It was such a horrid experience, my god.

Fourth time: Is where we live now. This time it was a young couple. I think they worked late hours and their living area was right next to our bedroom. The woman would vacuum all the time at around 12am or so. She would do this for a VERY long time. There is no way the room was that big. We would also hear them fight almost every night. One time I heard her on the phone screaming about an abortion or something, I have no idea what was going on over there. I would usually bang on the inside of our closet (closest to them) and they would get quiet. One time though, she must have been drunk, because she screamed words I can't repeat now when I banged on the closet. I snapped and went straight to their front door and kept banging on it. She just yelled throw the door the whole time while her boyfriend was trying to calm her down. I said a few choice words and we never heard them again......Until the night before last. Except it was just guy voices. I think the woman may have moved out.

Fifth time: Same place as now except this neighbor is above us. Really nice guy but his dog would bark ALL DAY LONG. Then he got a second dog and they both barked all day long. We told him about it and they dogs have been under control ever since.

I desperately want to buy a DETACHED house so that I never have to endure this again.

 

[chizzy1982]

And I thought my pseudo-ghost neighbour was bad - that sounds horrendous Moonwater.
How was she last night Amberwaves?

 

[MoonWater]

Date: 4/4/2008 4:47:39 PM
Author: chizzy1982
And I thought my pseudo-ghost neighbour was bad - that sounds horrendous Moonwater.
How was she last night Amberwaves?

I thought your story was absolutely hilarious...and scary at the same time. I was waiting for you guys to walk in and find ghosts. I want to know what that guy was doing though. Totally freaky! I must say, your upstairs neighbor is extremely nice because I would have thought you guys were nuts and hearing things. No way would I have given you my keys lol.

 

[chizzy1982]

I know she is really lovely and VERY trusting. I felt awful turning up on her door step and having to apologise for doing everything we did, but she was fine about it and was pleased she could help us get to the bottom of it!! We had a bottle of vino to try and go someway to making it up to her ( very poor effort i know!) and i literally had to force her to take it as she thought it so unesscary.
The man down stairs is quite scary - before all this kicked off he was nice and would always wave and sign hi, but now he won''t give us the time of day, infact I had to swerve into the hedge in my car as he would not get out of the way in the drive

We occasioanlly hear him - the scrapping of the chair is the bizzarest sound ever and we can''t equate it to anything - why would anybody want to repeatdly scrape a chair across a floor for 5 seconds at a time???

 

[AmberWaves]

Moonwater, I can''t even imagine the crap you''ve dealt with! Our wall neighbor on our floor has a crying issue, and would just SOB all night long. I haven''t heard it for awhile, perhaps she''s enjoying our upstairs neighbor''s antics too much!

Anyway, last night they left at about 10pm, and I thought, "wooohooo! Sleep time!" Until I was woken up at 5am with more bed noises and groaning. I swear, I''m going to leave a note. Okay, so THEY don''t have jobs... OTHER PEOPLE DO. I have to get up at 6am, is it really THAT hard to try to keep it quiet from say.... midnight to 6am? When you guys just sit around all day and play loud music, can''t you get your lovin'' on then? And why can''t you vacuum at say... noon instead of 3am? And WHY are you wearing BOOTS on a hardwood floor at 4AM!?! Can you tell I''m frustrated?

I definitely think it''s time for a note. I''m starting to think the guy has moved in. And if that happens, we need to set some boundaries.

 

[MoonWater]

Date: 4/4/2008 5:21:55 PM
Author: chizzy1982
I know she is really lovely and VERY trusting. I felt awful turning up on her door step and having to apologise for doing everything we did, but she was fine about it and was pleased she could help us get to the bottom of it!! We had a bottle of vino to try and go someway to making it up to her ( very poor effort i know!) and i literally had to force her to take it as she thought it so unesscary.
The man down stairs is quite scary - before all this kicked off he was nice and would always wave and sign hi, but now he won''t give us the time of day, infact I had to swerve into the hedge in my car as he would not get out of the way in the drive

We occasioanlly hear him - the scrapping of the chair is the bizzarest sound ever and we can''t equate it to anything - why would anybody want to repeatdly scrape a chair across a floor for 5 seconds at a time???

I want more neighorbors like her. She seems extremely sweet.
The guy on the other hand....totally freaking me out. I have images in my head and everything. Like a Stephen King novel.

 

[MoonWater]

Date: 4/4/2008 5:24:15 PM
Author: AmberWaves
Moonwater, I can''t even imagine the crap you''ve dealt with! Our wall neighbor on our floor has a crying issue, and would just SOB all night long. I haven''t heard it for awhile, perhaps she''s enjoying our upstairs neighbor''s antics too much!

Anyway, last night they left at about 10pm, and I thought, ''wooohooo! Sleep time!'' Until I was woken up at 5am with more bed noises and groaning. I swear, I''m going to leave a note. Okay, so THEY don''t have jobs... OTHER PEOPLE DO. I have to get up at 6am, is it really THAT hard to try to keep it quiet from say.... midnight to 6am? When you guys just sit around all day and play loud music, can''t you get your lovin'' on then? And why can''t you vacuum at say... noon instead of 3am? And WHY are you wearing BOOTS on a hardwood floor at 4AM!?! Can you tell I''m frustrated?

I definitely think it''s time for a note. I''m starting to think the guy has moved in. And if that happens, we need to set some boundaries.

Hahaha, I know it''s not funny but when things get that insane it''s hard not to laugh. Seriously, why would someone, who''s home all day, choose to vacuum at 3am? Why!?!? And boots...at 4am...if you aren''t going out, what is your problem!?!? What is going on in these people''s heads??! You are very kind to leave a note. I can tell you, if it were me, I''d be yelling and screaming. But I''ll admit I have a lot of built up frustration from all the past incidents.

I neglected to mention the one neighbor back when I had a roommate. One day I came home from shopping and she asked if we would keep the music down. I figured my roommate must have had it loud earlier and I told her whens he came home. She was didn''t seem to know what I was talking about and we shrugged it off. Our neighbor made another complaint about music, again, we didn''t know what she was talking about. One day, middle of the night, both of us are sound asleep (we were in our late teens and stayed up all night so it must have been pretty late), neighbor knocks on our door, my roommate gets it. She comes into my bedroom and tells me the neighbor asked that I keep the music down. Now, I was sound asleep. I''m like, what music? But then I couldn''t fall back to sleep! I was so mad because I had to work the next day and now couldn''t fall back to sleep. I realized neither one of us had ever played any music! I went to knock on her door to ask about it, so we could see what she was really hearing. She wouldn''t answer the door! Not even a word, it was like they weren''t home lol. So I turned up my stereo and put the speaker to the floor and played it for a while. Never heard from her again. Oh, and in this same apt we had neighbors, not attached but behind my bedroom, their window was open and you''d hear them yelling at each other all the time. I simply joined it. And they responded back, the woman would tell me what a piece of crap the guy was LOL...I swear...I have way too many stories.

 

[chizzy1982]

A number of scenarios have run through my head about what he is doing - none of them are pleasant ones!! I''m sure there is a perfectly innocent explaination to what he is doing, I''m just too freaked out to find out!!