Asking the parents for permission/blessing?

[glocko]

Did you (or your husband if you are a woman) ask the bride-to-be's parents permission or blessings before popping the question?

I am going to propose soon and am not sure how to approach this. Her parents are very traditional and her father is not the friendliest man (despite dating her for 4 years.. he's just not very friendly to anyone, not just me).

We live very far from each other but will all be getting together this Thursday for Thanksgiving. I was thinking of taking her parents aside in the basement, giving them a bottle of champagne and asking their permission. Or do you think that would be too awkward since we would have to keep it quiet the rest of the night..... I'm more nervous about asking them than asking my girlfriend.

I am not concerned that they will say "no", but more concerned with the logistics of how to approach them. She still lives at home and both parents work different hours... so family get-togethers like this Thursday are really the only time I could catch them together. Any advice?

 

[hmartin]

I've got 3 options for you.

The first is to go up a day or so early if they'r not too far away. -but only if her mother/father/family don't have big mouths.

Your 2nd option, is less chivilrous, but fool proof. You can propose to her privately the day before (it's more intimate anyway) ;and the next day at the get-together announce the engagement followed immediately with a request for their blessing.


3rd option : If hell bent on getting the blessing BEFORE the proposal. At the dinner table ask (as a hypothetical) would you have their blessing if you were to get married. Then immediately (after they say yes) begin your proposal to her.

Don't do option 3 if you'r not 100% sure that they will say yes and not feel uncomfortable. I'm using option #2 next week.

I hope this helps or at least generates ideas. Update us on how things go.

goodluck,
Henry