turboflgrl
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2009
- Messages
- 275
Never in a million years did I think I would ever have to be in this position. I've been worrying about it for weeks and yesterday was the straw that broke the camel's back for me. This is long... forgive me.
I've know this bridesmaid for about 3 years - we met working doing promotional marketing together and were very fast friends. Our friendship at the time was really based more on going out and having fun than any other type of connection but I guess I really didn't see it that way. I was engaged in February 2010 but wanted to wait to ask who my bridesmaids would be. We had gotten into a tiff months earlier before the engagement (long story but she was completely in the wrong, apologized over and over again, and I finally relented and forgave her). I won't get too far into it but what she did was nearly a friendship breaker. After all was forgiven, we began working on our friendship and it really seemed to evolve into something with a bit more substance than before. Fast forward to June 2010 - I asked her to be a bridesmaid in my wedding. She seemed shocked and surprised... thanking me and seeming so excited. Then it all stopped. Unlike a lot of brides, I have picked up the tab for nearly everything for my bridesmaids. The only things for them was hair, make up, and shoes. Now onto the concerns...
She was an hour late for bridesmaid dress shopping due to the fact that she was hungover. Unfortunately alcohol is an issue in her family and she is heading down that road along with pain pills... And for the record, I've mentioned my concerns on multiple occasions but she never listens... it's really sad. She seemed ok during the appointment until I realized her "cup of coffee" was actually a cup of wine. She wasn't stumbling around drunk but I was very embarassed that she would do this at a high end boutique!
We hadn't decided for sure on a dress that day since they were split as far as which one they wanted. When we finally decided, they needed to be fitted. She claimed her Mother was sick and she would have to take care of her on the day of the fitting which was scheduled weeks in advance. Her parents are not very old and not in bad health... and her Dad was with her Mom so we all had a feeling it was a lie. But, I didn't say anything and just moved on. She gave me APPROXIMATE measurements that she guestimated over the phone. I was so nervous the dress wouldn't fit ($280 Amsale), but oh well.
Then, my Maid of Honor started complaining to me that this girl was not involved whatsoever in the bridal shower or bachelorette planning which I wasn't all that concerned with at first. In fact, she told me that she wouldn't even answer e-mails, texts, or phone calls for weeks at a time. I know it's not a requirement but she wasn't even interested in sharing ideas with the other girls. It was hurtful. But again, I didn't say anything. I just figured she was busy so I tried to calm the other two girls down and smooth out the situation.
She was also the only one that did not want hair or make up done because she didn't want to spend the money. I knew she'd do that because she's very cheap on everything else. Money should not be a problem for her but alcohol takes up most of her budget unfortunately. I'm sad to say it but I see it first hand.
And here comes the BIG problem and when I finally began to see who she really was. My bridal shower invitations went out almost a month ago and was held yesterday at my Maid of Honor's mother's house. She called the MORNING OF the bridal shower and informed my Maid of Honor that she would not be coming because she was sick in bed. This girl plays sick all the time due to hangovers and other things so it's very hard to believe her when she says stuff. Maid of Honor was irate because this girl had responsibilities of bringing the drinks and now that responsibility again was put on the girls. This girl told my Maid of Honor to call me and tell me because she "was too sick to get out of bed and talk to me"... yet she can call the Maid of Honor? What a joke and to me, it just shows her lack of respect. Days earlier, she called and said she was planning to leave the shower early because she didn't want to "drive home in the dark". Then she said the only way she would stay the whole time is if her boyfriend could come... WHAT!?!!? So I offered my FI to entertain him during the shower. He rearranged his entire day to entertain this guy and neither showed.
Now I see who she is... NONE of this adds up to any of us and I'm just left feeling really upset. My wedding invitations to the wedding go out on Monday and I've decided not to invite her at all. She no longer a bridesmaid, not a guest at the wedding, and is definitely no longer a friend. Though really, I guess she never was. I'm shocked that I fell for her crap, I'm scared because we're 41 days from the wedding and I am now without her, and I feel sick that she has used me and I just let it happen.
I'm not even sure why I'm posting this.. I guess I just really needed to vent so for anyone willing to listen, thank you.
I've know this bridesmaid for about 3 years - we met working doing promotional marketing together and were very fast friends. Our friendship at the time was really based more on going out and having fun than any other type of connection but I guess I really didn't see it that way. I was engaged in February 2010 but wanted to wait to ask who my bridesmaids would be. We had gotten into a tiff months earlier before the engagement (long story but she was completely in the wrong, apologized over and over again, and I finally relented and forgave her). I won't get too far into it but what she did was nearly a friendship breaker. After all was forgiven, we began working on our friendship and it really seemed to evolve into something with a bit more substance than before. Fast forward to June 2010 - I asked her to be a bridesmaid in my wedding. She seemed shocked and surprised... thanking me and seeming so excited. Then it all stopped. Unlike a lot of brides, I have picked up the tab for nearly everything for my bridesmaids. The only things for them was hair, make up, and shoes. Now onto the concerns...
She was an hour late for bridesmaid dress shopping due to the fact that she was hungover. Unfortunately alcohol is an issue in her family and she is heading down that road along with pain pills... And for the record, I've mentioned my concerns on multiple occasions but she never listens... it's really sad. She seemed ok during the appointment until I realized her "cup of coffee" was actually a cup of wine. She wasn't stumbling around drunk but I was very embarassed that she would do this at a high end boutique!
We hadn't decided for sure on a dress that day since they were split as far as which one they wanted. When we finally decided, they needed to be fitted. She claimed her Mother was sick and she would have to take care of her on the day of the fitting which was scheduled weeks in advance. Her parents are not very old and not in bad health... and her Dad was with her Mom so we all had a feeling it was a lie. But, I didn't say anything and just moved on. She gave me APPROXIMATE measurements that she guestimated over the phone. I was so nervous the dress wouldn't fit ($280 Amsale), but oh well.
Then, my Maid of Honor started complaining to me that this girl was not involved whatsoever in the bridal shower or bachelorette planning which I wasn't all that concerned with at first. In fact, she told me that she wouldn't even answer e-mails, texts, or phone calls for weeks at a time. I know it's not a requirement but she wasn't even interested in sharing ideas with the other girls. It was hurtful. But again, I didn't say anything. I just figured she was busy so I tried to calm the other two girls down and smooth out the situation.
She was also the only one that did not want hair or make up done because she didn't want to spend the money. I knew she'd do that because she's very cheap on everything else. Money should not be a problem for her but alcohol takes up most of her budget unfortunately. I'm sad to say it but I see it first hand.
And here comes the BIG problem and when I finally began to see who she really was. My bridal shower invitations went out almost a month ago and was held yesterday at my Maid of Honor's mother's house. She called the MORNING OF the bridal shower and informed my Maid of Honor that she would not be coming because she was sick in bed. This girl plays sick all the time due to hangovers and other things so it's very hard to believe her when she says stuff. Maid of Honor was irate because this girl had responsibilities of bringing the drinks and now that responsibility again was put on the girls. This girl told my Maid of Honor to call me and tell me because she "was too sick to get out of bed and talk to me"... yet she can call the Maid of Honor? What a joke and to me, it just shows her lack of respect. Days earlier, she called and said she was planning to leave the shower early because she didn't want to "drive home in the dark". Then she said the only way she would stay the whole time is if her boyfriend could come... WHAT!?!!? So I offered my FI to entertain him during the shower. He rearranged his entire day to entertain this guy and neither showed.
Now I see who she is... NONE of this adds up to any of us and I'm just left feeling really upset. My wedding invitations to the wedding go out on Monday and I've decided not to invite her at all. She no longer a bridesmaid, not a guest at the wedding, and is definitely no longer a friend. Though really, I guess she never was. I'm shocked that I fell for her crap, I'm scared because we're 41 days from the wedding and I am now without her, and I feel sick that she has used me and I just let it happen.
I'm not even sure why I'm posting this.. I guess I just really needed to vent so for anyone willing to listen, thank you.
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