shape
carat
color
clarity

Are you supposed to like your job or is normal to feel meh about it?

winnietucker

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 4, 2019
Messages
2,775
I’ve been pondering a career change for a while... I’d like something with less emphasis on team work and more on individual contributions. I can do team work I just don’t like the feeling of picking up someone else’s slack. I also have some other minor annoyances. But at the same time I make a decent amount of money for how easy (more or less) my job is. I’ve interviewed around in the past but I’m not willing to take a pay cut and we’ve ended interviews over that. I’m not sure if my feelings are valid or if I’ll go do something new and feel the same way...

How do you all feel about your jobs? I feel like it’s a taboo to truly talk about how you really feel at work, so my coworkers are of little help. Although one of my close coworkers told me to get out while I’m young before I waste my life.

My husband is very loyal. He can absolutely hate his job but will feel like he needs to stay at one place. My friends will leave jobs they love for more money, regardless of if they think they’d even like their new job - which I think is fair.

What’s a reasonable expectation?
 
I had a very depressing job for a very long time. But it allowed my family to have everything we needed and provided security and retirement. I don't subscribe to loving ones job because it doesn't happen all that often and those who have it are very lucky. If you are miserable though and can make a change realizing whatever consequences there might be then possibly it would work out? I don't have enough risk taking in me to upset an apple cart full of perfectly fine apples. Hence I am not an entrepreneur. God bless those who do!
 
I had a very depressing job for a very long time. But it allowed my family to have everything we needed and provided security and retirement. I don't subscribe to loving ones job because it doesn't happen all that often and those who have it are very lucky. If you are miserable though and can make a change realizing whatever consequences there might be then possibly it would work out? I don't have enough risk taking in me to upset an apple cart full of perfectly fine apples. Hence I am not an entrepreneur. God bless those who do!

Thank you for the insight. On one hand my job is easy and overall benefits aren’t bad... plus I’d have to take a pay cut to leave probably. I think I’ll work on other ways to make myself more content with what I do and stick it out.
 
"Supposed tos" are made up and agreed with.

IOW, they are not things that actually exist.
They carry unfortunate baggage that's often little more than a faux puritan authority.

I don't like the term supposed to, so I try to avoid using it.
I'd rather use clear, clean terms that acknowledge where the responsibility belongs, what I like, or what I choose.
That way I'm not hiding behind social conscripts that change over time.
Used to be you weren't supposed to expose your navel, or shoulders, or be gay.

I would agree, though, that we should obey the law.
 
Last edited:
"Supposed tos" are made up and agreed with.

IOW, they are not things that actually exist.
They carry BS baggage that's little more than a faux authority.

I don't like the term supposed to, and try to avoid it.
I'd rather use the terms, what I like, or what I choose.

So totally normal to not be jazzed about it? :lol:
 
If you don't like your job you can change jobs, or stay.
That sounds simple and black and white, but the reality of making this choice is often very complex.
 
Last edited:
It really depends on your priorities and what's important to you. It's hard to find something that checks all of the boxes, and sometimes shifting priorities can be a welcome change.

I've learned if you want to pivot your career, it often requires taking a step back (or even a few) in role and pay, and it's better to do it sooner rather than later. You'll likely be better off in the long run with a career you enjoy, even if you have to take a (temporary?) pay cut because that gets you in the new role sooner, and you can progress from there.

I think many people dislike their jobs. At the end of the day, no job is perfect and corporate America is still corporate America.
 
It really depends on your priorities and what's important to you. It's hard to find something that checks all of the boxes, and sometimes shifting priorities can be a welcome change.

I've learned if you want to pivot your career, it often requires taking a step back (or even a few) in role and pay, and it's better to do it sooner rather than later. You'll likely be better off in the long run with a career you enjoy, even if you have to take a (temporary?) pay cut because that gets you in the new role sooner, and you can progress from there.

I think many people dislike their jobs. At the end of the day, no job is perfect and corporate America is still corporate America.

I think I’ll stay put for a bit and then reconsider. My husband’s boss is pushing for a promotion that comes with a large raise. I’d be ok with taking a pay cut then.
 
My past experiences taught me one thing - same poo different smell wherever I go job wise, and the grass is not always greener elsewhere.

With every job, there were bits that I loved and liked, and bits that I disliked.

If the work life started to get me down for whatever reasons, and I was not able to change it better despite having tried, then it would be time to get out.

I have had taken small pay cuts in the past. Money is not be all and end all.

The longest employer I had was over 12 years, and held 5 different positions, switching functions and departments along the way. Twice I handed in my notice and another department offered me another job and asked me to stay. I only left due to personal reasons (divorce, ex-hubby whom I met through work is still working there). Had I stayed, I would probably be in the higher parts of the corporate fruit by now. However it was not meant to be.

For me personally, I need to have opportunities to learn in my jobs. Jobs should have some variety, fun and enjoyment in them. I need to feel I am valued for my contributions.

I am happy where I am now, being recognised and valued as a knowledgeable and experienced specialist in my line of work as an independent consultant. Just wish I could work more hours with an additional contract as I prefer to be busy than not. So I keep myself busy with voluntary work, social engagement and learning a musical instrument. The pets like it that I am spending more time at home with them.

Personal opinion and all that.

DK :))
 
I read an article a few months about the pitfalls of searching for the job you love as it can often turn out to be something that is less than ideal on a dime; all you need is one toxic person in the mix to really turn something you love into something you just dread. Find something you like to do, and create a balance so it doesn't become all that you do. Find your joy outside of work. LOL I am still working on all of that.

I often feel as you do @winnietucker. I also long to move to an individual contributor role, but then think I'll just be bored in about 18 months. For me its about the people... if you are surrounded by competent, fun and collaborative people, team work can really have its merits. I work in what is at times a very dysfunctional environment (some would say toxic). I've learned detachment is my friend. I'm still working on that one too :)
 
Some days I feel like the luckiest person in the world to have my job. Others I come home and wonder if I have enough in savings to just walk out without giving notice. Right now the good days outnumber the bad. When that starts to not be the case is when I’d consider changes. That’s how I’ve made job decisions in the last.
 
Balance is key. And the feeling that you have made an educated choice.

-A friend who's very money driven has a corporate job where she's yelled at and ruining other's health (tobacco industry). But she's paid 2 x what similar roles in a different industry would pay. She stays.


-My DH had a a very clearly laid out, highly paid career in consulting ahead of him. He quit. He couldn't stand the thought that "this would be it" for the rest of his life. Not enough challenge, not enough development, no learning new skills, not enough meaning.

Decision worked very well for him.

My friend's a farmer (cabbage &kale and cattle) her employees are happy. One told me: I know *exactly* what I'll be doing every day, every year, up to my retirement.I LOVE that.
So people vary . A lot!!



@facetgirl : yes, had that one toxic person. Horrid. Stayed too long ( out of " duty" ). Lesson learned. Never again!!
 
There is no supposed to just how you feel about it. I loved what I did for a living and got much satisfaction from it but didn't like the administration for the last number of years (changed hands) I was there. Healthcare was changing all over the country and didn't leave our little non profit clinic out so unfortunately IMO care went down and I decided it was time to retire. But for the majority of my career I loved doing what I did and loved caring for my patients and making a difference in their lives. No regrets.

I had a few jobs I didn't care for and I left those jobs. For me, life is too short to stay somewhere I am unhappy. Work is a considerable part of your day hours wise so while I had much joy outside of work I was greedy I guess because I wanted it with work as well. For me that was the right choice. I am very self aware and know my emotions very well and if I wasn't happy at work it would bleed into other areas of my life despite being good at compartmentalization I wanted to be at peace in all the areas of my life as best as I could.

So only you can decide are you truly unhappy and then yes it is time to leave (IMO) or is it more of a case of the grass is greener scenario. There is no perfect situation and there are always tradeoffs. What are the things you can (happily) live with and the non negotiables that make you miserable? I would make a list of the benefits and the negatives of your current job and go from there.

FWIW I am very loyal too...just not at the expense of my quality of life. I stayed at one job for almost 30 years due to loyalty to my patients and do not regret it despite some negatives at that job. Because as I wrote above there is no perfect (IMO) situation. You have to decide what is the best fit for you. Good luck @winnietucker. It is never too late to find the right fit either IMO.

ETA: reading replies now and @kipari said it well. "Balance is Key" with all things in life.
 
Thank you all for your input. I was talking to my husband about it last night and his whole thing with work is be happy you have a job and put up with it. You all give better advice.

I don’t dislike my job totally and I’m not as upset as I was yesterday... so I’m not going to make a rash decision. Sorry to so vague about everything, I never like to post specifics because I can get fired over it if they ever figured it out. But again, thank you all. I’m at the beginning of my career and this is my first out of college job. It’s nice to get the perspective of people who are more experienced than I am.
 
I think everyone gets to the point of meh, especially if they are not constantly challenging themselves. I can’t imagine feeling meh all the time tho. When I start to feel meh, I stop to analyze what new changes i want to make. I’m lucky that I’m a high school teacher and change happens every year! Lol.
 
Thank you all for your input. I was talking to my husband about it last night and his whole thing with work is be happy you have a job and put up with it. You all give better advice.

I don’t dislike my job totally and I’m not as upset as I was yesterday... so I’m not going to make a rash decision. Sorry to so vague about everything, I never like to post specifics because I can get fired over it if they ever figured it out. But again, thank you all. I’m at the beginning of my career and this is my first out of college job. It’s nice to get the perspective of people who are more experienced than I am.

I don't think it hurts to continue looking for a job - it's good practice, you can explore different opportunities, you get a better understanding of your market value, and you don't have to accept the offer! The process also often takes several months.

From personal experience, I wouldn't discuss compensation until you get close to an offer. If they bring it up you can say "the most important thing for me is the opportunity and to see if it's a good fit, I'm confident [company name] will be fair and competitive. What is the range for this role?" Sometimes, if they like you a lot they will create a new role and/or have more flexibility with compensation. It never hurts to have a few offers and to be able to justify the compensation you're looking for.
 
@nala Becoming a teacher was something I actually considered as a career change. My coworker’s brother does that and she made it sound very good!

@MRBXXXFVVS1I’m thinking about using all the benefits my work offers before leaving/ working on leaving because my work schedule is stringent so it’s hard to leave for interviews during the work day. With what you said in mind, I may opt to start a little earlier so that if a good offer comes along I can still take it but I can also work on my interview skills. Thankfully my 401k and pension are fully vested because that held me back previously. I’m still weighing out money vs happiness as well. But I think with my next move I’m getting out of my industry entirely...
 
I think even with good jobs you're bound to feel like it's work some days. I had a really fun job one summer in a bakery, and that job taught me that if you do anything - even really fun things like decorating cakes/cupcakes for work - it will start to feel like work. I think it's pretty normal too to have good days and bad days. I think it's when you start dreading going to work every day and when you can't sleep Sunday nights that you know that you are in a toxic work environment and you have to get out.
 
I think even with good jobs you're bound to feel like it's work some days. I had a really fun job one summer in a bakery, and that job taught me that if you do anything - even really fun things like decorating cakes/cupcakes for work - it will start to feel like work. I think it's pretty normal too to have good days and bad days. I think it's when you start dreading going to work every day and when you can't sleep Sunday nights that you know that you are in a toxic work environment and you have to get out.
This! Summed up so well! I know friends who dread work. In my 23 years of teaching, I have never ever dreaded work. The hardest part about work for me is waking up. Lol. I wish I could sleep in until 8 am and start work at 9! Tho new legislation says we will soon!
 
Yeah I think it fluctuates a lot, some days I bounce out of bed and others I contemplate leaving my job - this is totally normal! Perhaps think of ways to improve your current role and discuss it with your boss? Could you add a new exciting responsibility? Could you learn another skill? Personally stability is worth a lot to me so I wouldn’t rush out the door - grass isn’t always greener...
 
Having a classroom of children all day is far from easy. You have very few breaks and you sometimes deal with behavior problems and problem parents. I taught my whole career. There was joy and satisfaction in what I did to teach children with learning disabilities to read, but there was plenty I hated (such as all that was involved with state testing). I hated all the gov. paperwork and the fact that work had to be taken home sometimes or else stay late. The worst was dumb faculty meetings I had to attend that were a waste of time and could have been summarized in an email, and things like car duty or lunch duty, etc. The powers that be can move you to a new grade or position. I had the almost perfect position my last few years, but there were still many things that I could complain about! Teachers are generally underpaid, but I was fortunate that my husband had a much better job and my income was not essential. The positive side, they get a few extra weeks off and the retirement is decent if you can stick it out long enough. It's not an easy job, though.

My husband had a job that he never loved and was very stressful. Some years he liked it okay, but he always worked 50+ hours a week on salary. It was a good job and we are thankful that he had it. He stayed for 39 years and retired early with a pension plus 401k. That almost doesn't exist anymore, so it's easier to leave a job for another when you have nothing to lose. But as others said, the grass is not always greener, and there are aggravating people in every single job, unless you are self-employed and work alone from home!!! I also think you can get bored in any job if you do the same thing long enough. But I'd take periods of boredom over high stress any day.

I think it's fine to look for other opportunities, but just realize there will likely be problems there, too. So only make a move if you are very unhappy or else you get a much better offer financially. Money does allow one to do more things they love outside of work, so I wouldn't leave for a lower paying job unless I was miserable or found something I absolutely loved. Pretty much everyone has already said that, too!
 
Feeling the way you do, if I were you, I would be extra frugal this year, and keep job searching and interviewing. That way, if you hit a breaking point and need to quit on the spot, you can, bc you've been saving for it. In the alternative, if a better job comes along that pays less, you also can take it bc of the extra savings you've socked away.
 
Feeling the way you do, if I were you, I would be extra frugal this year, and keep job searching and interviewing. That way, if you hit a breaking point and need to quit on the spot, you can, bc you've been saving for it. In the alternative, if a better job comes along that pays less, you also can take it bc of the extra savings you've socked away.
Good point, @PintoBean ... I felt less terrorised by the toxic colleague because I knew I could quit anytime financially. I shouldn't have stayed so long without fighting back, but I wasn't completely eating my soul either, because I knew we weren't financially dependence on the money.
 
Having been within my org for 32 it pays really well so I stick with it, but I wouldn't say I love it. Not many opportunities to move around unfortunately.
 
Oh I absolutely loathe my job. I would definitely have gone in a different direction with my schooling had I known. The lawyers are treacherous, the judges are egomaniacal, and the clients are miserable (until they get their check, at which point they're elated, and then you never see them again). It's pure acrimony. But I positively adore the people I work with, so I consider that the silver lining, and it makes all the difference. Plus, I guess that's why hobbies exist. If you get paid to do what you love, you've won at life. Power to those peeps!

OP, good luck with your possible career move!!

ETA: I just realized this thread is 3 years old. lol
 
I absolutely loathe my job, but I'm addicted to money and haven't won the lottery yet.
 
hmmm don't know how I missed this post, my job is OK, my pay is Ok, my co-workers are morons....I am on a "team" and expected to be a "team" player but when the team isn't trained correctly and apparently after several years in the position still can't do the job then you shouldn't be on the "team" but what do I know, anyway I have been with the company 26 years in Nov 2023, I work from home in my PJ's and I am 4 years and 10 months out till retirement, hope I can hold onto my sanity that long.
 
If I am spending a third of my time working, then yes, I would like to find some enjoyment out of it.

DK :))
 
I know I responded years ago to this thread but adding my thoughts in 2023.

We spend too much time at work to be miserable so if you are not happy move on...find something better. I know it's not easy and it can be scary to leave a job but you can search while you still have one so you are not without income or health benefits. But if you are unhappy where you are do something about it.

I put my money where my mouth was and have done the same. When I was no longer finding satisfaction I moved on and found something that fit my needs better. Luckily I ended my career at a job I loved. I found the work so satisfying and challenging and motivating. I retired when I felt it was time due to various reasons but I have always had a satisfying career and never regretted anything having to do with being in my field and my chosen specialty.
 
I know I responded years ago to this thread but adding my thoughts in 2023.

We spend too much time at work to be miserable so if you are not happy move on...find something better. I know it's not easy and it can be scary to leave a job but you can search while you still have one so you are not without income or health benefits. But if you are unhappy where you are do something about it.

I put my money where my mouth was and have done the same. When I was no longer finding satisfaction I moved on and found something that fit my needs better. Luckily I ended my career at a job I loved. I found the work so satisfying and challenging and motivating. I retired when I felt it was time due to various reasons but I have always had a satisfying career and never regretted anything having to do with being in my field and my chosen specialty.

Same, moved on in the past when the job ceased to be enjoyable.

I am going through something similar, in that I have resigned from one of my contracts as I am not enjoying it.

The extra income had been nice, very nice in fact, however, money is not high on the list of motivation for me personally - opportunities to learn is key, and freedom/time to do what I like outside work (I am working part-time and consider myself as semi-retired) are more important than money.

DK :))
 
GET 3 FREE HCA RESULTS JOIN THE FORUM. ASK FOR HELP
Top