Are you supposed to 'know' when you find 'THE RING'?

[maccers]

I apologize if I'm not supposed to post in LIW if I haven't joined the list yet.

Quick(ish) question - Went e-ring shopping for the first time last night with my BF and the sales lady said that I'll "KNOW" when I find "THE RING". This comment has lit my brain on fire with many other questions - Will I really just know that i've found the ring? Am I supposed to feel super excited and over-the-moon about my e-ring? I feel super excited about marrying my BF and starting a life with him but am I supposed to feel that way about the ring too?! I thought many of the rings I looked at last night were gorgeous and lovely but I didn't fall insanely in love (though interestingly my BF has found a tacori wedding band for him which he's been texting me about today, lol).

I'm just not sure I'm the type of person that's going to have that overtop emotional reaction to a ring. Right now, I feel quite indecisive and the only thing I'm sure about it that it's going to be a long process of trying lots of rings on. I could end up with the feeling 'yeah, this will do just fine'.

I'd love to hear other people's experiences.

Thanks
Shannon

 

[madelise]

Nope. My heart fluttered for "The One" multiple times. I have concluded that there is not actual "The One". It's material object. I collected ideas of what I'd like for settings, and worked from there. We created a budget, and I created a list of importance from carat/color/clarity/cut, and the parameters I wanted to be within. Found a diamond, and bam, that's it.

No unicorns or rainbows flying out from my diamond or ring. Was I elated? Yes. The search is over. The wait is halfway over.

Keep trying on things, and looking through our SMTB threads for inspiration and ideas. Create a little folder with all potentials' photos. Buy your diamond, and figure out which setting is within budget and would look best for your diamond/hand. Done, and done.


I think sales people in the wedding industry just attempt to romanticize everything with magical leprechauns. That's why so many jewelers get to rip off unsuspecting noobs. Girls get goo goo eyed at anything sparkly, the jeweler says it's "The One", and you leap at the chance to get "The One", because losing "The One" would be devastating. They make a quick sale, and prevent you from going to other stores, or from taking your time to get educated. Jeweler: 1, Consumer: 0.

I'm glad you aren't emotional about material items, or you might have been swindled.
I, for one, refuse to peruse jewelers that try to lure you in on your emotions. I prefer businesses that use facts.

 

[Chewbacca]

I agree with Madelise.

I am sure people do find The Ring. I've seen threads over in RT and SMTB by ladies who have found their 'holy grail' diamonds, some on their first try, others on their 2nd, 3rd, 4th upgrade!.. multiple the-ones!

Don't scare yourself too much about this! Its a kind of head spinning concept, looking for THE RING. Too much pressure! Browse online, figure out what you like, what you don't like.

I would put myself in the category of non-emotional reaction to a ring also. I have searched high and low, but I'm yet to find anything I have more than a fleeting crush on! I would happily 'settle' for a ring that falls into my 'checklist' of likes. In saying that, I saw my RHR on a gallery newsletter email, and I completely flipped my lid, I HAD to have it! I'm not holding my breath for that to happen again!

 

[LJL]

I hope not since I agonized over settings for a while and Im having my stone set into a setting Ive never seen in person I think you find many things that are acceptable, some better than others. I dont romanticize anything...



edited to take out a sad comment about romanticizing every "the one" in life.

 

[audball]

I agree. I think you can have multiple "the ones". I think there are lots of different shapes/sizes/styles that could suit you. Don't stress about not having an over the top emotional response. Just choose something you love right now.

 

[MBKRH]

I apologize if I'm not supposed to post in LIW if I haven't joined the list yet.

Quick(ish) question - Went e-ring shopping for the first time last night with my BF and the sales lady said that I'll "KNOW" when I find "THE RING". This comment has lit my brain on fire with many other questions - Will I really just know that i've found the ring? Am I supposed to feel super excited and over-the-moon about my e-ring? I feel super excited about marrying my BF and starting a life with him but am I supposed to feel that way about the ring too?! I thought many of the rings I looked at last night were gorgeous and lovely but I didn't fall insanely in love (though interestingly my BF has found a tacori wedding band for him which he's been texting me about today, lol).

I'm just not sure I'm the type of person that's going to have that overtop emotional reaction to a ring. Right now, I feel quite indecisive and the only thing I'm sure about it that it's going to be a long process of trying lots of rings on. I could end up with the feeling 'yeah, this will do just fine'.

I'd love to hear other people's experiences.

Thanks
Shannon

I felt the exact same way as you did when I tried rings on. I thought "yeah, they're pretty", but I didn't find anything where I was like, "OhmygodhemustbuythisNOW."

Sounds like things are moving along great for you. Good luck, oh, and welcome!

 

[maccers]

Thank you for all the replies. They've been helpful in settling me down. I'm a practical, researchy, sometimes Type A personality so rushing into things is not my thing (which is why PS is so great, I can research to my heart's content).

Having said that, the saleslady's comment threw me onto a line of thinking, "Am I missing out on something? Do all women find THE ONE RING? Is there something WRONG with me?". Basically, it tapped into some insecurity that I didn't know I had in me. If I'm completely honest, I've been all over the map with this ring business. Part of me is super excited, Disneyland fairytale-ish, another part of me calls me back down to earth and says that I'm being materialistic and that 10 years from now I'm not going to care what the ring looks like. Then throw in my indecisiveness about what kind of ring I want, well, my head is spinning. Last night when I closed my eyes, all I could see were hundreds of different rings going around in circles (there's worse things to fall asleep to, it was kind of neat actually).

Thanks again for all the replies.

 

[star sparkle]

I understand exactly how you feel, as it relates to wedding dresses and the search for the perfect dress - I thought I would just KNOW when I found The One, and I never really did. I tried on a bunch, liked a bunch, thought most of them looked good on me, and ultimately picked the one that everyone else liked best. I didn't have that overwhelming moment of OMGTHISISMYDRESS, and I still don't necessarily feel that way. I love it, I think it's gorgeous and will be smashing for my wedding, but it wasn't like the stars aligned and fate brought this dress and I together.

On the other hand, I DID have The One moment for my ering. I tried on more erings than you could fathom and was pretty indifferent or "oh, this is nice" to all of them. But the moment I put my current ering on my finger at the shop? I absolutely HAD to have it, was completely smitten with it, and thought I would die if I didn't get it (dramatic, much? Hah). Now it's been on my finger for just over 3 months, and I love it more and more each day.

Moral of the story- Keep trying rings on!! You may try on a hundred rings but it'll be the 101st that is Yours and makes your heart stop, or you may end up in a scenario like my dress situation where you like a bunch and pick one that you just enjoy for what it is. Neither is "wrong" or how it's "supposed" to go, you just have to do what ultimately is the right thing for you.

 

[madelise]

Thank you for all the replies. They've been helpful in settling me down. I'm a practical, researchy, sometimes Type A personality so rushing into things is not my thing (which is why PS is so great, I can research to my heart's content).

I think you'll fit right in There's a reason a lot of us have been longer term PS'ers rather than lurkers, and it's exactly due to that.

 

[Chewbacca]

PS. You should totally join the LIW list!