LiW Are you in this boat?

[vintagelover]

How many ladies out there have been "Dating" their SO for 5+ years and still have no idea of when to expect an engagement?? Does your family and SO's family consistantly bring up the "when are you getting married" line too??

I have been with my SO for almost 7 years and am getting a bit anxious for a proposal - I try to RARELY bring it up in hopes that it might just happen soon! hehe
And the FMIL brings up the marriage question frequently ........ the torture..



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~DUST~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

[slg47]

have you talked to your BF about it? it might help to sit down and have a conversation about things...not to necessarily set a 'timeline' but to make sure you are both on the same page, otherwise you could be very frustrated!

 

[vintagelover]

Hi slg47

Yes we have talked about it and he is on the same page with wanting to get married as well, its just a matter of when. It is definately something I don't want to give a timeline or ultamatum on either. It can just be a bit frusterating when your family / friends all are waiting for it to happen too! hehe

 

[Grlsbestfrnd]

Yes and it's killing me!! I've been with my SO for a little over 6 years now and still have no clue when the proposal will happen. I get that line from every single person in my family, his family, and most of our friends. The only thing that bugs me about that is that a lot of them ask what I'm waiting for and why I haven't made him ask me yet. I actually don't know even one person in my family or very many of my friends for that matter that haven't gotten engaged because of some ultimatum. That's really not how I would like to start out my life with him lol.

Oh well, we've already had a conversation about it and I know he's going to ask me I just don't know when. Although it's killing me being completely in the dark I'm kind of enjoying the suspense! (Well, most of the time lol)

 

[titian23]

Hi Vintage lover - sorry to threadjack but I keep meaning to ask you about the ring in your avatar. It's beautiful could you tell me where you found it?

 

[vintagelover]

Grlsbestfrnd I completely agree with you on the ultimadum, I know plenty of people who got engaged because of this too - I really would feel horrible if i put that kind of pressure on my SO! And I do enjoy the suspense too

Titan23 - I have no idea where that photo came from as it is not the photo I uploaded into my profile, it just appeared when I changed my original photo. I love it too!!

 

[Glitz]

Not only am I in this boat, I feel like the captain of it! SO and I have been together just over 5 years, lived together for most of that time and have now just bought a house together. I have watched many friends and family members meet their SO's, get engaged and get married in the time that we've been together ... two of the couples are also now parents! We both know that we're going to get married, we've discussed it and have looked at rings together. The issue is when it will happen, since we just bought a house SO thinks we'll need to focus all of our finances on that for a while and put the ring on hold. I know that we're in a good spot right now where a ring would fit into the budget with plenty of savings left over.

My family hasn't brought up anything with me and him getting married, they just know it will happen and are happy for me to be with a great guy. His family on the other hand asks any chance they get, and now that we have a house together the pressure is really on. I do feel bad that he's feeling all this pressure from his family ... and kind of from me, but seriously we know it's going to happen, so why play the waiting game? At a wedding earlier this year he told me that the bride and groom (he works with the groom) had been together 11 years, had 2 kids, a house and a cottage before their wedding (that poor LIW) , he was trying to make me feel better about waiting, but if he has that in mind for us I might loose it!

 

[fuzzers]

Thank you for starting this topic so I can come out of hiding! SO and I have been together over 5 and a half years, but we are still grad students. So a lot of things are up in the air still:

- when he will finish his degree
- if I will opt for more training after school
- if he gets a job soon (he was laid off earlier this year)
- how much money we will be able to save up

Thing is, I am OK not having ALL of my ducks in a row before engagement. However he feels differently, though we're not sure how differently. I would love to be engaged two years from now, but we will see.

 

[smiles]

Count me in too!!

I have been with SO for almost 7 years and his mother is just dying for us to make an announcement! We have discussed timelines and are on the same page but will both be students for almost another year and then we have to get jobs so we can afford to live together and be indepent! Therefore I have NO idea when it will happen but am seriously hoping that it will be by the end of 2011!

I can completely relate to all you ladies!

 

[ChloeTheGreat]

My SO and I have been together for a little over 6 years. But I DO know when to expect a proposal. It will be sometime at the end of June next year (around our 7th dating anniversary.) Our situation is based on finances. It's been a rough past year and a half, money-wise. We are making the purchase together, as we do all purchases and we have a unique situation in which we KNOW we will have the money for my dream ring at that time.

Even though I know when it's coming, it's frustrating to know that the only thing holding us back is something as silly as money. SO won't propose without a ring because he knows how much I want my dream ring. (Although, I would be happy if we went to the courthouse tomorrow. )

DUST to you all!

 

[FuturePsyD]

We just had our 5 year anniversary last month. I never would have thought it would take this long. I'm still in grad school and his job situation was very shaky for about a year, which really ate up his savings (part of it meant for my engagement ring).

Now he's back to saving again for my dream ring, but who knows? There have been set backs before and it's quite possible it could happen again.

I know it will happen, but as many of you mentioned, its a matter of WHEN? He's hinted that I won't be waiting past 2010. But again it comes to the finances!! And he really wants to get me my dream ring, especially since we've already waited 5 years. I'm hoping by the holidays or early 2011. Beyond that, OMG!

I also have friends and family who CONSTANTLY ask "so? when? what's going on" "why isn't he proposing?" "whats taking so long?" I have always been honest and told them we are saving and trying to do it right and be financially stable, etc. But you guys know how friends and family can be!! Worst of all, I start to feel judged by those, in my age group, who are already married or engaged. They begin to think something is "wrong" with my relationship or maybe "he doesn't really love me" etc. I start to feel defensive and at times withdraw just so I don't have to put up with the questions and judgments!!

Being a LIW is NOT the best situation to be in. From here, I hope its a short wait for us all!

*DUST*

 

[Blackpaw]

You're not alone VintageLover SO and i have been together just shy of 6 years (1 month to go), and it was only a few months ago that we decided to start saving for a ring...so i have a rough idea of when a ring will be purchased but no idea on the proposal...

Sometimes i think its been too long (like lots of people i have friends who've met and married in the time we've been dating) - but then i was only 21 when we started dating and i still feel like maybe im too young in terms of age to be getting married!