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Are you afraid of death?

zhuzhu

zhuzhu

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 15, 2006
Messages
2,503
I am the 1st to admit that I am petrified of death!

Maybe it is the effects from Lost and Grey''s finales, I can''t stop thinking about the realness of death in each and every loved ones in my life, including myself (lol!). It does not feel good at all!

What are your thoughts about death, are you afraid of it as much as I am?
 
I think we all are, hence thread will quickly slip into religion.
 
My fear isn''t being dead as such. Its leaving my children, especially James. I think he will need long term care and I want to be there for him as long as possible. My other children will look after him after I have gone but I want to live forever!
 
No, I'm not. I'm afraid of pain and suffering preceding death, but I figure once I'm dead, I won't really care anyway, so why worry about it? I expect that this will change somewhat once I have kids, but at this point in my life, I can honestly say that I have absolutely no fear of being dead.
 
I am afraid of being sick or in lots of pain and to be unable to take care of myself (I know FI would be there for me, but I don''t want to be a burden).

I''m also afraid of life after FI (and other loved ones, but especially him).

Deing dead I''m not too worried about. Whatever happens ... happens.


I''ve given this much thought (deaths in the family do that) and the absolute perfect death would be like the end of Bicentennial Man -- husband and wife laying next to each other comfortably, happy with life and each other, and then just drifting off together...

I know we can''t all have that and that it is most often unpleasant (if not for the deceased person then for the family who loves them).



I guess my short answer is no -- I prepare for what will eventually happen but live and enjoy life now.
 
I've had a strong fear of death since I was little. There was at least a six month period when I was in grade school that I feared I'd die in my sleep. Every night before I went to bed I clung to each of my parents and told them how much I loved them, because I wanted to make sure they knew in case I didn't wake up. Morbid, eh?

I fear death for myself because of the unknown. I think I fear the deaths of my loved ones (including our dogs) because I can't bear the thought of having them with me. A close friend lost her father recently, and I wept for hours about it - not only b/c I mourned for my friend's loss but b/c it made me think about how I will feel when I lose a parent.

I tend to be pretty rational about most things in life, but I do feel my fear of death is abnormal even though it isn't paralyzing.
 
Date: 5/25/2010 2:26:04 PM
Author: Octavia
No, I'm not. I'm afraid of pain and suffering preceding death, but I figure once I'm dead, I won't really care anyway, so why worry about it? I expect that this will change somewhat once I have kids, but at this point in my life, I can honestly say that I have absolutely no fear of being dead.
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Big ditto! Besides, being dead has to be better than this life has been so far.
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ETA: Not been a good day. I certainly don't feel like this most of the time.
 

I had zero fear of death until I had Amelia. Now I really don''t want to go in this stage in my life. After she''s an adult, I don''t think I''ll mind as much again.


I think if you were guaranteed a quick death, not as many of us would have an issue with it. I don''t want to die of a terrible disease because I fear the toll it will take on my loved ones. My mom told me recently she hopes she goes of a heart attack or something like that. Not that I would wish that on anyone or think it''s a great idea (or painless), but I could see where she was coming from.
 
"being" dead, no.

dying a painful death, yes.
 
Well, YEAH. It''s why I wear my seat belt.
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Seriously though, yes I am afraid of death. Life is too much fun and I love being alive so thinking about not being around anymore does tend to drive me a little crazy. Usually I think about it while I''m driving and I have to be careful not to work myself into a panic attack. Other times I''ll lie in bed at night and think about it and I get really sad. I HATE going to bed at night, I''ve always been that way--I feel like I''m missing things! So I''m not real keen on the idea of death. Then I''ll miss EVERYTHING!
 
I''m afraid of being in enough pain toward the end of my life that I want and hope to die.
I cared for my grandmother when she was dying, and it was really hard to see that.
 
I'm preoccupied by the thought of death. So much so that it keeps me up at night. Not so much my own death, but rather of loved ones around me. The thought of losing them terrifies me, especially since I've been through a lot of losses through cancer. My own parents live halfway around the world, and I think about the "what if's" a lot.

As for my own death (I'm only 37), I do think about it once in a while. I think about how my husband or my kids would be able to cope without me, because I'm so "there" for them all the time.
 
I had someone close to me die a few years ago the most "alive" person I knew. So that made it hit home. Also had the only dog I raised as a puppy die a couple years ago, before her time. So I have a visceral sense that life is precious. Almost every day I appreciate the time I have on earth and with my loved ones. But I try not to think about it in a fear way. It''s not productive.
 
Not at all. If I were to die right now I would be ok with it. That said, I am simply talking about a painless death. I am extrremely afraid of pain. For instance if I were being mugged and someone shot me in the head I would be fine with it. I would die instantly and thats it. If it were going to be a painful death I would be terrified.
 
Without touching Religion.......
Not really since I have been close enough once. Saying goodbye to the important ones in my life would be nice. My kids are too young still, but I know they will be in good hands.
 
I constantly worry over those around me dying.... especially family... and friends....
 
I can't edit my first answer anymore, but I did want to say that even though I'm not afraid of death, it's not something I have any desire to do for a very, very, very long time! I'll take every precaution to avoid an untimely death and I do try to enjoy all the time I get here.
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But lack of fear shouldn't be confused with wanting/embracing/looking forward to it -- I truly hope I never get to that point.
 
No, not of my own, not really. I have had a few up and close personal experiences with death and life-risking illness, that really changed my own perceptions of death. Most impressing on my life was the death of a long-term boyfriend of mine, and my mother's battle with cancer (she is still, blessedly, alive). Many others, but those are closest to my heart.

I do feel some anxiety at times over the knowledge that those I love will die (whether it be suddenly or slowly)...and for a few years after my late boyfriend died I was hyper-sensitive to that...but I also don't believe that my relationship with them is over just because they are no longer visible to me. I know I cannot control what happens to those I love...just ensure that I always show them the best I can that I do love them.

There are times I realize I am NOT ready to die YET, but, I also know that there are some things, beyond ensuring I don't do anything stupid, that I cannot control. I wear my seat-belt, don't walk on the edges of windy cliffs and don't live on a diet of Snickers and Vodka. But, still, life is uncertain. Death is certain, but the manner in which it comes is not. And I am not going to worry about living in bubble wrap only to be struck by lightening.

I do have some fear over serious illness or painful death. The chances of me battling the same fight my mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, and so on have all had in their 40's and 50's (some successful, some not) is high. At least, genetics wise. But I do trust in myself and living life as it is and not as it may be. Life is not life without death. And, again, seeing how others have gone through it...those I mentioned plus many others....rather than depressed me almost helped me.

DH similarly does not fear death itself upon him...not a sudden one at least...but has witnessed it up close and personal - especially in his military experiences - and finds it a profound experience to be felt fully. One of his counselors once told him at around 50 many go through a very deep realization that they too will die...and refuted the possibility entirely someone could understand this before that age. I don't think his counselor appreciated DH has been in enough experiences where he almost did die. But who knows, we both may be wrong. We shall find out in a few more years!

We both feel a lot of feelings when we witness or hear of the death of others. For example, any day when a Canadian soldier is killed in Afghanistan, there is a moment of worry for DH than he knew the guy....there is a sadness for me as I think of his family and loved ones, and so on, there is a time where we just think of that person whether we knew them personally or not, and think of the life lived, the death experienced, and the life never lived. Sometimes we cry, or one of us cries. Even if we never knew them personally. I do that for almost anyone though that I read, see, hear of.

In my observations though, many people who say they fear death, fear the unknown more than they do death (i.e. ontological anxiety - my favourite anxiety..ha!). Death is just one of the biggest unknowns for most of us out there.

All that being said, I still don't desire to die for a very, very long time and am in no hurry to do so.
 
Date: 5/25/2010 2:54:41 PM
Author: monarch64
Well, YEAH. It''s why I wear my seat belt.
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Seriously though, yes I am afraid of death. Life is too much fun and I love being alive so thinking about not being around anymore does tend to drive me a little crazy. Usually I think about it while I''m driving and I have to be careful not to work myself into a panic attack. Other times I''ll lie in bed at night and think about it and I get really sad. I HATE going to bed at night, I''ve always been that way--I feel like I''m missing things! So I''m not real keen on the idea of death. Then I''ll miss EVERYTHING!
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haha- this is exactly how i feel! only i work in a nursing home, so i am around people who are closer to death daily!

my mom loves to tell this story of when i was little: we were on vacation at our family''s lake house, and they had put us to bed. i went down for about a half hour, then came back out into the main living room and all bright eyed exclaimed, "good morning, sunshine!" apparently i tried to trick everyone into thinking i really thought i had slept for the night. my mom said she pointed right back to the bedroom door and said, "turn right back around."
 
Yes, I''m afraid of it, but I obviously try not to think of it too often.

One thing that makes me tear up is the thought of losing my parents. I was at the doctor''s office recently and a nurse was wheeling an older gentleman who needed a wheelchair to his car. I did a double-take when I noticed him because he has the exact frame as my dad. He resembled my dad in so many ways. I teared up as I watched the nurse help the man into his car, because I thought, someday, that could be my dad. He''s such a strong and very physically fit man, and it hurt to think that that''s what my dad may face in his later years.

I''ve learned this year that death can happen in an instant, completely unexpected, before you or your family is ready for it. It hurts to think about, but it does cross my mind now and then.

As an aside, I''m actually sort of interested in what happens when someone dies. For some reason, the science of it is something that I''m kind of interested in learning about. It sounds morbid, but I kind of feel like if I knew the science behind it, then maybe death wouldn''t frighten me so much.
 
I'm not afraid of death but I am afraid of dying in certain ways. I've always felt that I was going to die young in a violent way. That's scary.

I am afraid of leaving my children. I want to hand select their "next mother."

I am somewhat afraid of one of my children dying, but not to the extent that I dwell on it or anything. Every night I pray that they will be accepted into God's kingdom when the time comes and that is all I need.

I handle death better than most people I know. I'm not a crier at funerals for the most part and I "get over it" very quickly. I tend to think they are somewhere better and life goes on for the rest of us. I do have sympathies for those who are living and lost loved ones. I think dealing with death of a loved one must be much harder than just dying.
 
I prefer to go calmly and with anticipation. No horrific events, please. Besides, I would like to leave a good looking corpse.
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But, seriously, I''m not afraid of what comes next. If I became terminally ill, I would feel more upset for my DH and his pain and loneliness after my passing. I would be reluctant to leave this life, but not fearful of the life to come.
 
Date: 5/25/2010 3:22:41 PM
Author: radiantquest
Not at all. If I were to die right now I would be ok with it. That said, I am simply talking about a painless death. I am extremely afraid of pain. For instance if I were being mugged and someone shot me in the head I would be fine with it. I would die instantly and thats it. If it were going to be a painful death I would be terrified.
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Ditto for me.
 
Now that I've thought about it, what I find most disturbing is not death itself.
Rather, it is the idea that I will cease to exist.

I have gotten quite used to existing, and I rather like it.
It is all I have known.
I cannot imagine not existing.

Soon after my death people will forget me.
They will wake up and eat their corn flakes and go to work, come home and watch TV, go to bed and repeat it the next day.
Life will go on quite well without Kenny.

Soon it will be like I never existed at all.

It is not so much that I fear this; It is the truth which must be accepted, but it is just so disappointing.

It is totally understandable why cultures throughout time have embraced the idea of some kind of life after death.
What we see happen, our consciousness vanishing and our bodies turning into dust, is just not very satisfying.
 
Date: 5/25/2010 4:58:22 PM
Author: kenny
Now that I''ve thought about it, what I find most disturbing is not death itself.

Rather, it is the idea that I will cease to exist.


I have gotten quite used to existing, and I rather like it.

It is all I have known.

I cannot imagine not existing.


Soon after my death people will forget me.

They will wake up and eat their corn flakes and go to work, come home and watch TV, go to bed and repeat it the next day.

Life will go on quite well without Kenny.


Soon it will be like I never existed at all.


It is not so much that I fear this; It is the truth which must be accepted, but it is just so disappointing.


It is totally understandable that cultures throughout time have embraced the idea of some kind of life after death.

What we are sure about, our consciousness vanishing and our bodies turning into dust, is just not very satisfying.
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I feel this way too. I also am undecided about what happens after death. I''d like to think that there is some form of a life after death.....I''m terrified that I''ll die and that will be it.... there will be nothing else.
 
Oh I don''t know about that Kenny. You become part of the people who loved you or were affected by you. My hero when I was a child was Lincoln. He has no living survivors but just think about how many people''s lives he affected. Whenever I see a Hiroshige print, read a Flannery O''conner short story, or play a Bach piece, those people live again. When God forbid my father passes away I will always remember his entertaining and thoughtful stories. That''s why I want to write them down.
 
I am both terrified and I have this morbid fascination with death.

I''m really scared of what *feeling nothing feels like*, and I can''t imagine myself ceasing to exisit. I used to have horrible panic attacks about dying, and still do wake up screaming that I don''t want to die (bt admittedly, that happens much less often now then it did before). Surprisingly, I find that I am less bad since I had the accident. I think because being unconscious...well I don''t remember any of it, so I guess death feels like that.

However, I want to be fully aware when I am dying. I want to experience the process. Nothing scares me more then *not seeing it coming* or going to sleep and never waking up. I want to say goodbye to the people I love. I think that would be horrible.

I also wish that I believed in God. I think it would make dealing with the whole process a lot better. In addition, I wish I could see a ghost. For me that would be proof that there is something after death, and that we have a soul.
 
Date: 5/25/2010 5:09:58 PM
Author: part gypsy
Oh I don't know about that Kenny. You become part of the people who loved you or were affected by you. My hero when I was a child was Lincoln. He has no living survivors but just think about how many people's lives he affected. Whenever I see a Hiroshige print, read a Flannery O'conner short story, or play a Bach piece, those people live again. When God forbid my father passes away I will always remember his entertaining and thoughtful stories. That's why I want to write them down.
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Yes we will be remembered by our loved ones but I'm no Bach or Lincoln.
Also I have no kids.
Even if you do have kids in a few generations almost all of of us will vanish into nothing.

Actually that's fine.
This is not so depressing really.
It motivates me to live a wonderful life as full and happy as possible.
To me life is like an E-Ticket ride that lasts 80 years.
 
I used to be scared of death but I''m not anymore. It''s a fact of life really...everyone has to die. I would like my death to be quick and painless though I''ll have to wait and see if it happens that way.
 
Date: 5/25/2010 5:12:39 PM
Author: allycat0303
I am both terrified and I have this morbid fascination with death.

I''m really scared of what *feeling nothing feels like*, and I can''t imagine myself ceasing to exisit. I used to have horrible panic attacks about dying, and still do wake up screaming that I don''t want to die (bt admittedly, that happens much less often now then it did before). Surprisingly, I find that I am less bad since I had the accident. I think because being unconscious...well I don''t remember any of it, so I guess death feels like that.

However, I want to be fully aware when I am dying. I want to experience the process. Nothing scares me more then *not seeing it coming* or going to sleep and never waking up. I want to say goodbye to the people I love. I think that would be horrible.

I also wish that I believed in God. I think it would make dealing with the whole process a lot better. In addition, I wish I could see a ghost. For me that would be proof that there is something after death, and that we have a soul.
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This is a large part of my fear, as well.
 
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