Are you a strong negotiator?

[jcrow]

yes for big ticket items and things at garage sales. love it.

i remember haggling for our washer + dryer at best buy. who knew you could?! well you can. i got a few hundred dollars via gift cards + an extended warranty + some money off the set as well.

hubs is the opposite which i find quite strange. he''s really good at debating [and i''m not] and he''s not good at negotiating price [and i am].

 

[AdiS]

Date: 12/15/2009 12:02:08 AM
Author: purrfectpear
It''s what they pay me for

Let''s just say I''m not a believer in win-win. Partly it''s my mad skillz, but truth to tell it''s more likely the fact that I''m swinging the big stick. When you represent the largest aerospace manufacturer, the little guys tend to listen up. Having honed my technique until it''s second nature, I''m also quite successful in personal negotiations. I never let emotions enter.

Anecdotally, years ago when my son was visiting his dad for the summer, they were at Target trying to return something. Apparently pops was getting the run around big time. My 7 year old pipes up and says ''gee Dad, you need Mom here...she''d eat their lunch''

Same here!

And recently I heard jokes about me being famous among my colleagues and employees as "that shark"! lol I took it as a compliment.

 

[Liane]

Date: 12/14/2009 7:36:57 PM
Author: kenny
The word embarrassed has come up.

Can someone explain to me why embarrassment enters into it?

I''ll take a stab at this one, although my answer pertains only to me:

Some part of my brain is 100% convinced that it is tacky to bargain in iffy situations. Like the example of your ex''s mom trying to negotiate in a supermarket. I would fall over dead of embarrassment if that were one of my relatives -- and since my mom is a first-generation Asian immigrant, and many of her relatives also came over as adults, they have done this. So to some extent I have it in my head that bargaining in inappropriate contexts is a giveaway for being an "outsider," or not fully aware of American norms, and I avoid pushing my luck to avoid looking like a foreigner. If you grow up with people asking "so where are you from?" (by which what they really mean is "what is your ethnicity?" but think this is an acceptable phrasing) and not taking "America" as an answer, this is something you tend to be conscious of all your life.

Okay, but what about contexts where it IS appropriate to negotiate?

Sometimes I feel bad about it because yeah, it isn''t "nice." If it''s a one-off purchase like a car or a house, whatever, I''m not concerned about future interactions with this person and I can be hardnosed. If it''s in a context where we''re already antagonistic (like my job), again, no problem at all and I will destroy you.

But if it''s a scenario like trying to talk down the price of a diamond with a jeweler that I hope to use again, I become very hesitant and unwilling to get nasty with someone that I want to keep a friendly relationship with later. So in that particular situation I''m a very easy pushover. And I know it, and hate it, and for that reason I do almost all my gem purchases online. Sux for B&M retailers, but that''s what''s gonna happen if they don''t give me a good price in the first place. I''m not interested in going through extra stress to buy stuff.

 

[purselover]

I''m definitley more the negotiater but FI hates to my parents and him didn''t want to negotiate anything for our wedding, ironically FI''s going to be a lawyer and got an A in negotiation class

 

[kenny]

Date: 12/15/2009 12:02:08 AM
Author: purrfectpear
...
I'm also quite successful in personal negotiations. I never let emotions enter.
...

Good point.
I had not thought of that but yes setting aside emotions is what I do.

If fact I sort of think of it as acting.
In real life Kenny is nice and agreeable.
But when appropriate Kenny will act at times.
Not just for buying a house or car but for things like job interviews too.
You temporarily become the person and say the things necessary to prevail in those situations.

So negotiating may be difficult for some because they feel it is compromising who they are.
It actually is.

 

[monarch64]

I''m a great negotiator. My dad used to take me with him when I was a kid whenever he bought a car. He always paid cash, always did a ton of research, and his philosophy was to make an offer, and if it was refused he''d just walk out.

Aside from being an educated consumer, my other two weapons are wit and charm.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I don''t really consider myself a negotiator, but I always have a price in mind and am not willing to go over it. I never get emotionally invested in anything, don''t have expensive tasts, nor am I picky, so I''m always happy to walk away.

I am also willing to pour many hours of research into a project so that I know what I''m getting into. I''m sure that''s how many of us found PS to begin with.

 

[movie zombie]

Date: 12/15/2009 11:47:32 AM
Author: NewEnglandLady
I don''t really consider myself a negotiator, but I always have a price in mind and am not willing to go over it. I never get emotionally invested in anything, don''t have expensive tasts, nor am I picky, so I''m always happy to walk away.

I am also willing to pour many hours of research into a project so that I know what I''m getting into. I''m sure that''s how many of us found PS to begin with.

certainly is the truth for me!

mz

 

[jet2ks]

Date: 12/15/2009 12:02:08 AM
Author: purrfectpear
It''s what they pay me for

Let''s just say I''m not a believer in win-win. Partly it''s my mad skillz, but truth to tell it''s more likely the fact that I''m swinging the big stick. When you represent the largest aerospace manufacturer, the little guys tend to listen up. Having honed my technique until it''s second nature, I''m also quite successful in personal negotiations. I never let emotions enter.

Anecdotally, years ago when my son was visiting his dad for the summer, they were at Target trying to return something. Apparently pops was getting the run around big time. My 7 year old pipes up and says ''gee Dad, you need Mom here...she''d eat their lunch''

LMAO.

It''s also what I do for a living. Don''t have quite as big a stick to swing, but I have no problem letting one supplier know what the other is offering and playing them against each other. I''m also good at staying emotionally detatched. It has worked well on vehicle purchases, as well as the job. The problem too many people have with negotiations is that they have decided what they want before deciding what they want to pay.

 

[Gypsy]

Yes, I am. Kinda have to be, it''s my job.

 

[Lilac]

No, I''m definitely not. DH somehow manages to get great deals on everything all the time and is definitely not afraid to ask for things. He is a great negotiator. His coworkers have started asking him to do things for them because he can talk people into giving him things and nobody understands how he does it.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

My family is Chinese, and I spend a lot of time there so I guess I''ve just gotten used to it. I think it can be embarrassing for people to haggle in China when they visit because they have no frame of reference for what a "fair" price is. And they don''t want to be the A-hole foreigner who''s low balling, but they also don''t want to get taken advantage of. And I also think they occasionally feel guilty about haggling when there is such a economic discrepancy between themselves and the sellers, especially when some of the sellers are practically children. This is why my friends always like it when I take them shopping around Beijing

I managed to out-haggle my mom last time I was in China, she was so proud of me, haha!

I think I feel a little embarrassed if I''m haggling for something that''s already on sale and fairly priced, especially if I''m looking to buy from this person again.

For those of you who are comfortable haggling, would you still do it even if the initial offer is fair, just to see if you could get a better deal?

 

[kenny]

Date: 12/15/2009 1:18:24 PM
Author: MakingTheGrade

For those of you who are comfortable haggling, would you still do it even if the initial offer is fair, just to see if you could get a better deal?

Absolutely.

Fair is relative.
Car sellers make a range of deals, some high profit, some low.
They average out.
IMHO, every one of those deals was fair since nobody used a gun.
Both parties agreed to each of those prices, high or low.

I disagree with the concept that there is one fair price and people paying more got ripped off and people paying less are greedy.

It's not my fault some buyers will pay thousands over list for a car.
I'm simply not going to buy a car unless I get an excellent deal.
It has worked seven times.

Sellers get the highest price they can get from each buyer.
Buyers pay they lowest price their skills allow.
Neither is doing anything wrong.
It is just business.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

Kenny,
I'm inclined to agree with you. Especially for cars and one time ticket items.

But if it's somebody I'm planning on buying from multiple times, and the price is already reduced to what I think is a good price, I won't always try to haggle it lower. For example, when I buy gems, I rarely buy it at retail, but if it's a cutter I really like, I'd be more hesitant to always be pushing at the price especially during a sale. Just because I want him to like me and maybe do nice things for me like put gems on hold or give me a heads up on new rough

ETA: I think it's definitely harder to haggle with someone you're looking to have a long term, repeat relationship with. Especially if they sell a unique skill that you really like, lol. I would be

if Sally wouldn't work with me anymore because I'm too haggle-happy over her jewelery.

 

[kenny]

Agreed.
Cars, houses, pianos, Persian rugs are where I switch on this mentality.
I am not cultivating a friendship.
I'm buying something.

In my life I've bought seven new cars, but never twice from the same salesperson.
Two times I tried but both times the salesperson actually turned me down when they remembered who I was.

Broke my heart.
I cried for days.

NOT!

 

[zoebartlett]

Unfortunately, neither my husband nor I are great negotiators. I may be a tad better than he is though.

A few years ago when I was buying my first new car, I had to take my mom with me because she ROCKS at negotiating with dealerships. My dad''s even in awe of her negotiating skills, too, and in fact, she usually does most of the talking whenever they''re buying a new car.