Are you a strong negotiator?

[kenny]

When you buy large ticket items like a car or a house are you more of a push over or more a gladiator?

I think you can guess what I am.

I realize many of us do this as a team with our SO.
If so then is your team more of a gladiator or a push over?

 

[Smurfysmiles]

I''m a push over sometimes but if we are going over budget I put my foot down. I''m a great negotiator with DH if it''s something I want him to get me haha

 

[Liane]

I''m a total wimp when it comes to negotiating purchases. I hate it. I hate it a lot. 90% of the time I just pay whatever people ask.

It''s funny because when it comes to negotating stuff for my job, as opposed to my personal purchases, I am a total barracuda with shanks strapped to both fins. I can go up against and destroy pretty much any lawyer in this town without flinching. But when it comes to talking down the price of a 5mm sapphire, forget it, I am worse than useless.

I have no idea why this is.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

I definitely go for the throat if it''s a big ticket item and assuming negotiations are acceptable (sometimes it''s just not).

I did all the wedding negotiations myself, and I think I did it pretty well

.

 

[soocool]

I am a total haggler!

 

[isaku5]

If family reports are to be believed, I definitely am.

I really enjoy negotiating whether it''s for a car, electronics - almost anything really. I''m a little hesitant to admit it, but it gives me a real ''high''.

 

[Haven]

DH is a total gladiator. I''m not a pushover, but I''m not as ruthless as my dear husband.

We purchased our Civics back in 2007 and he was really strong. I couldn''t believe how calm and collected he was when he told each salesmen that their offers weren''t good enough, over and over again.

In fact, we were supposed to purchase both of our cars from one dealer and negotiated a great deal on both of them because of that. They had mine in stock, and ordered DH''s car. We only officially purchased mine, and just had the offer for DH''s car on paper so we could go in and draw up the deal when it arrived.
Well, DH took that offer to another local dealership and got his car for $1,000 less than we were going to pay at the original dealership. The original salesman was a bit miffed, but I was impressed with my husband''s resourcefulness.

Buying our house was agonizing. DH insisted that we walk away from the bidding table multiple times, and every time I cried and threw a fit because I *really* wanted this home. Sure enough, the sellers'' agent kept on calling our agent back after we walked away to say that they would accept our last offer. We ended up getting the house for far less than we ever thought we could.

 

[junebug17]

I am terrible at negotiating, a total wimp...I just pay whatever is asked. Husband is much better at it. So I guess you can tell who handled our house and car purchases

 

[yssie]

In India we barter and negotiate for everything. I''m not as ruthless as my parents, but... definitely better at it than FI, and definitely more prone to inquiring!

 

[D&T]

I''m actually stronger at negotiating than DH. I usually research and bring more info when I''m ready to purchase and negotiate. DH is a mediator in our families and I hate doing that part so we''re a good team

 

[kenny]

My ex's parents visited us, fresh from India.

The mother tried to negotiate prices at the supermarket.

 

[somethingshiny]

I''m a big negotiator. I don''t get mean or nasty but I use every fact to my benefit. And, the biggest part of being a haggler....You have to be willing to walk away.

 

[elrohwen]

Hmm ... I think I'm fairly good at negotiating when I try, but I don't like to try most of the time and am a pushover

However, I haven't purchased a new car or a house yet and I'm sure I would "try" in those situations because they're big ticket items and because it's expected.

I have no idea if DH is good at negotiating or not ... I've never seen him do it!

 

[kenny]

Date: 12/14/2009 6:51:40 PM
Author: somethingshiny
You have to be willing to walk away.

Agreed.

Also, master silence.

Nature abhors a vacuum and weak negotiators abhor silence.
Just sitting, waiting patiently, calmly and silently for your opponent to make the next move at the right time can do more than words.

 

[Clio]

Nope, not me. I hate negotiating, and it makes me very uncomfortable. I''d rather just know that an item is reasonably priced and pay that price for it.

My husband, on the other hand, LOVES negotiating and is very good at it. I have to leave the store when he starts!

 

[that_someone_special]

<-- push over omg embarrassing...

 

[iheartscience]

I love to negotiate! My husband is definitely a push over, though, so we balance each other out. I don''t try to negotiate when it''s not appropriate, though. I used to work at a boutique I always thought it was so obnoxious when a random customer would ask if they could have a discount for no reason. I loved telling them no, though!

My parents went with me to help me pick out the first car I bought myself and my dad and I embarrassed my mom horribly! We''re relentless.

 

[Kaleigh]

Yes. I know how to fight the good fight for what I want. Hubby taught me well!!!!

 

[kenny]

The word embarrassed has come up.

Can someone explain to me why embarrassment enters into it?

I''d be embarrassed if I parted with more money for the same purchase.

 

[phoenixgirl]

When we bought my car, DH said I had ice water running through my veins. He tried to smooth things over with the salesman, manager, and finance guy when they tried to explain that their offer had been a "misunderstanding," and I just shouted, "That''s IT!!!!" and got up to leave. The salesman turned bright red and the finance guy, whom they had brought in to blame as a skapegoat, folded. "Never mind, never mind, you can have your price." I would have respected them more if they had stuck to their guns!

But boy did I sweat through my shirt . . . I don''t really like conflict; I just hate being taken advantage of more!

 

[packrat]

We don''t negotiate. We do amongst ourselves, but we''re push overs for each other. All the vehicles I''ve ever gotten, my dad has done the talking. JD bought 1 truck on his own after we got married and even *I* knew he got hosed, so after that, my dad took over. He''s real matter of fact, not mean,.he turns things around so that HIS idea somehow becomes YOUR idea and you think you''re a smarty for coming up w/it in the first place. When I got my Escape, JD and I both were a little concerned that the guy was going to launch himself across the table at my dad, and the whole time, dad was calm and relaxed and smiling. When JD got his truck last year, JD called me on the way home to tell me how the dealings went, and I laughed so hard I cried. Dad likes to negotiate..he does at Walmart, Sears, wherever.

I did ONE time, when I bought my ginormous computer desk several years ago..I got them down from $1500 to $1000 and gave us 2 free lamps. By the time mom and I got out to the car I was about ready to throw up.

 

[kenny]

Date: 12/14/2009 8:41:34 PM
Author: packrat


I did ONE time, when I bought my ginormous computer desk several years ago..I got them down from $1500 to $1000 and gave us 2 free lamps. By the time mom and I got out to the car I was about ready to throw up.

OMG, ready to throw up?
Why?

I am intensely curious.
Did you feel as though you were stealing? being rude, or not being nice, or something?

 

[Karl_K]

no not really except on cars, car dealers hate me.

Everything else I have a price I''m willing to pay in mind and I ask for their best price and if its close its a sale if not I say no thanks and leave.
Life is to short to argue over a small deal.

 

[kenny]

Speaking of car dealers hating us.

A few months ago I bought a 2010 Honda Insight Hybrid.
I emailed around 50 Honda dealers here in Southern California soliciting quotes.
I told them if they could give it to me now for $2000 under MSRP I'd drive over immediate and buy it without waiting for other quotes to arrive.
Cash, no trade in, absolutely no extras whatsoever.

I never heard back from most.
Two emailed me and basically called me and A-hole.

I got some quotes for a thousand over MSRP and some at MSRP.
A couple gave me very good quotes and I bought it for $1500 below MSRP - this is when most dealers, and Costco and Autoland, were selling it for a thousand or two OVER MSRP.

I called first and firmed everything up and reiterated NO EXTRAS No lojack, no extended warranties no alarms, ZIP!- and don't waste my time passing me around between people.

I wasn't rude I was just firm, and I told him I'll walk if anything changes while I'm there.
I was at the dealership only 45 minutes.

Best car buying experience ever.
Zero negotiating stress, but I got a killer deal.
The only hassle was assembling those 50 email addresses.

 

[packrat]

Date: 12/14/2009 8:42:58 PM
Author: kenny

Date: 12/14/2009 8:41:34 PM

Author: packrat



I did ONE time, when I bought my ginormous computer desk several years ago..I got them down from $1500 to $1000 and gave us 2 free lamps. By the time mom and I got out to the car I was about ready to throw up.

OMG, ready to throw up?

Why?


I am intensely curious.

Did you feel as though you were stealing? being rude, or not being nice, or something?

Uh..cuz I''m a wuss? haha. I felt confrontational, even tho I wasn''t being that way, it just felt like it. If I''d been turned down, I think I would''ve felt humiliated and left w/my tail between my legs. Now tho, after getting married and having a couple kids, I''m a lot more controlling, more "this is how it''s going to be", and while confrontation still makes me feel urpy, I think I''d handle it better. Still tho..the new vehicles can be my dad''s area.

 

[somethingshiny]

I guess I negotiate more than I even thought. A couple days ago I was looking for a high quality digital photo frame. I found one on sale but they didn''t have anymore in stock. I got them to check over the one on display, ensure that everything was still with it, put it in a new box and give me a percentage off.


I too am curious about being embarrassed about haggling. I think it shows a strong and intelligent person to say what you want.

 

[movie zombie]

hubby sends me in with the admonition, "go do your thing". he abhors haggling but enjoys watching me "do my thing".

mz

 

[charbie]

Date: 12/14/2009 6:26:20 PM
Author: Haven
DH is a total gladiator. I''m not a pushover, but I''m not as ruthless as my dear husband.

We purchased our Civics back in 2007 and he was really strong. I couldn''t believe how calm and collected he was when he told each salesmen that their offers weren''t good enough, over and over again.

In fact, we were supposed to purchase both of our cars from one dealer and negotiated a great deal on both of them because of that. They had mine in stock, and ordered DH''s car. We only officially purchased mine, and just had the offer for DH''s car on paper so we could go in and draw up the deal when it arrived.
Well, DH took that offer to another local dealership and got his car for $1,000 less than we were going to pay at the original dealership. The original salesman was a bit miffed, but I was impressed with my husband''s resourcefulness.

Buying our house was agonizing. DH insisted that we walk away from the bidding table multiple times, and every time I cried and threw a fit because I *really* wanted this home. Sure enough, the sellers'' agent kept on calling our agent back after we walked away to say that they would accept our last offer. We ended up getting the house for far less than we ever thought we could.

your DH sounds just like mine. we bought an escape over the summer, and i was amazed at how good he was! his motto, "if you''re not embarrassed by your offer, you aren''t going low enough."

the crazy thing is, he is a bit more reserved/quiet. he''s an engineer, really thinks things through. but he can really negociate a price on anything!

 

[miraclesrule]

Date: 12/14/2009 6:20:33 PM
Author: Liane
I''m a total wimp when it comes to negotiating purchases. I hate it. I hate it a lot. 90% of the time I just pay whatever people ask.

It''s funny because when it comes to negotating stuff for my job, as opposed to my personal purchases, I am a total barracuda with shanks strapped to both fins. I can go up against and destroy pretty much any lawyer in this town without flinching. But when it comes to talking down the price of a 5mm sapphire, forget it, I am worse than useless.

I have no idea why this is.

Ditto! Even on big ticket items, I feel as though I have to do an enormous amount of research and comparative shopping because I can''t negotiate what I don''t know. There''s not a lot of room to negotiate if you don''t know the market on the item you are shopping.

If I have subject knowledge in my favor, I am a ruthless negotiator. If I am clueless on the subject, well I''m pretty much lost. Unless of course, it requires logic and common sense. I have that in my favor.

 

[purrfectpear]

It''s what they pay me for

Let''s just say I''m not a believer in win-win. Partly it''s my mad skillz, but truth to tell it''s more likely the fact that I''m swinging the big stick. When you represent the largest aerospace manufacturer, the little guys tend to listen up. Having honed my technique until it''s second nature, I''m also quite successful in personal negotiations. I never let emotions enter.

Anecdotally, years ago when my son was visiting his dad for the summer, they were at Target trying to return something. Apparently pops was getting the run around big time. My 7 year old pipes up and says "gee Dad, you need Mom here...she''d eat their lunch"