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Are you a hugger?

charbie

charbie

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 16, 2008
Messages
2,512
I normally am not a casual hugger. I hug my husband most days when he or I walks in the door, but that's a quick squeeze and kiss. Hug my parents, familt member when saying goodbye. But I'm not one to really see a good friend somewhere and give them a big hug. Sometimes, but not often.
Today is my last day of work, and one of my nurses came up and gave me a really big hug and told me she will miss me. Now, being a not so huggy person, I was sort awkward, but maybe bc she's really short and my boobs were eye level or something. I don't really like hugging people unless there is a major reason (need comforting after a death...). Maybe since I work in healthcare I should try to get more comfortable with it...I do sometimes hug patients family members or patients who are scared and crying.

Are you a hugger? Or does it bother you when people touch you?
 
On a scale of 0 to 10, if 0 was "don't touch me" and 10 was hugging too much - I'd say I'm a 4.
 
I have to be in the right mood (drunk works). My dad is a hugger and he gives really great big bear hugs. My mother gives the most worthless light, tiny pat on the back hugs. You can barely even call it a hug. It actually just irritates me when she does it. My dad's side is a big hugging family and my Mom's side is very Eastern European and reserved with affection.

I love hugging DH and one of my sisters. Casual acquaintances and most friends? Not so much.
 
No, I'm not a hugger. Yes, I got hugged a lot as a kid, yes I get that other people like to express affection with a physical and basically socially acceptable gesture. I still am not what I would call a "natural" hugger.

I can be sort of aloof and unapproachable, and I just see hugging as a greeting or parting gesture as far too invasive of my personal space unless it is someone I'm very close to.
 
I don't like obligatory hugs. That means hugging someone, or being hugged because it's part of their culture. My husband's friends are predominantly Latino, and they always greet me with a hug and a kiss (even when meeting for the first time), and I definitely feel uncomfortable. If I feel genuine pleasure of seeing a family member or a good friend, or someone in need, hugs are welcome!

On a scale of 1-10 (being the huggiest), I'm a 7! This is suprising to me because I grew up in a non-hugging Asian household. I guess I became a hugger later in life :twirl:
 
Not only do I hug family, I always hug my friends whenever I see them. My friends and I have no problem with it. One exception is when one of us is sick and then we do an "air" hug.
 
kenny said:
If 0 was "don't touch me" and 10 was hugging too much I'd say I'm a 4.
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I'd say I'm about the same. I love hugging DH, but I don't really want to hug my acquaintances whenever I see them. I feel like this has gotten to be the accepted social behavior, and it makes me pretty uncomfortable. Also, I'm very petite, so giving a tall person a socially-appropriate hug can be way more awkward than it's worth.
 
Nope, I'm pretty comfortable inside my hula hoop thanks. :cheeky:
 
Not a hugger, except with my daughter. Can't get enough baby hugs!
 
On Kenny's scale of 0-10 (with 10 being huggiest) I'd fall between a 1 and a 3 depending on the day.

I like to hug FI lots.
My mom & grandparents I can manage to hug.

People I don't know (or friends for that matter) -- hands off already.
When running into other people who try to hug me as a greeting I range from uncomfortable return of the hug (barely touching) to shifting and reaching for a handshake instead (or ducking into a bathroom, picking up a heavy bag, coughing lots...).
 
monarch64 said:
No, I'm not a hugger. Yes, I got hugged a lot as a kid, yes I get that other people like to express affection with a physical and basically socially acceptable gesture. I still am not what I would call a "natural" hugger.

I can be sort of aloof and unapproachable, and I just see hugging as a greeting or parting gesture as far too invasive of my personal space unless it is someone I'm very close to.
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Ditto this! I hug my husband, siblings and parents a ton. Everyone else-no thanks! Luckily my friends aren't huggers, either. I used to go to NYC and LA a lot for my last job and there was SO MUCH fake awkward hugging. Even worse, in NYC there's a TON of kissing on the cheek! :errrr:
 
I'm a huge hugger! I hug hello, I hug goodbye, I hug pretty much all the time. On Kenny's scale, I'm probably an 11.
 
I'm kind of on both extremes, I really enjoy real hugs from close friends, family, or SO. But HATE the obligatory, I haven't seen you in a while but we don't really know each other that well, hug. It makes me feel so awkward. My friends are big huggers so I'm pretty used to it, but that doesn't mean I like it. Some of my friends are huggers when you get there and huggers when you leave kind of people and I don't really like that either, even with close friends, but I enjoy hugs that are motivated by emotion as opposed to obligation.
 
I am not a hugger unless someone else initiates it. My FI is a hugger and walks into a room and greets everyone with a hug. I wave! I hug him all the time, but I'm affectionate with him. I hug my nephews. Other than that...hugs are awkward for me.
 
Using Kenny's scale and depending on the social situation, I'm between a 1 and a 3. My family is not one for hugging, maybe if I'm leaving for a trip, I get a hug from my mom, rarely my dad. If I'm not going to see my grandparents for a while or a holiday, I'll hug them. But I see them a few times a week, no hugging. When my paternal grandmother came up from FL to visit, I don't think I got a hug at all. My family is just not huggers or kissers.

My friends on the other hand, every time I see them it's a hug and a kiss hello and the same for good bye. I don't know if it just the age group thing (we're 25-33) but i also notice it a lot with the younger crowds. Now it just comes naturally to me, although I am still kinda awkward at times.

I love to hug my BF. That doesn't extend to his parents tho, I (by accident) set that precident the first few times I met them. I dunno, I just thought it was going to be like an extension of my immediate family, no reason for the hugs and kisses everytime I see them. On special occasions, I will.

Just realized it, I'm the opposite of what most people do. I don't like to hug and kiss those very close to me, but I'll do it everytime for those who are friends, but not super close. I'm just weird. :wacko:
 
I hate to admit this because I know it can get annoying, but my daughter really did change my perspective on things. I was not a hugger or a toucher before. My FI's mom who loves to hug and hold hands ( :errrr: ) always complained that when I got near her, I would push away. But I was like that with everyone. I just like my personal space. But now with my daughter, things are very different. I give her lots of kisses and hugs. When she was a bit younger, I would say "give mommy a kiss...give mommy a hug" whenever I was leaving or if I had arrived. Now she does it without me having to ask. We have a bedtime routine where we give mom/dad a hug and kiss, we give her bear, lamb, 2 dolls, and her little stuffed dog a kiss and hug. And I also give everyone a hug when I see them so that she can see that it's ok to hug/kiss other people. (Side story: we took her to my friend's bbq and as we were leaving and saying goodbye, she would reach down to give people hugs :love: )

I'm not a fan of overbearing people but I want her to be affectionate. I want her to know that it's ok to want hugs and kisses and to expect it from those closest to you. It's ok to show someone just how much you love them every second of the day. That is one thing I feel that my childhood lacked that poured into adulthood. I've been branded one too many times of being coldhearted by those closest to me and I would hate for her to be that way.
 
I'm not a hugger, but I'll hug someone if he/she makes the first move. I'm generally not a very affectionate person, and my husband gets on my case about this. I smile a lot, but I'm not much into physical contact.

I've actually wondered why I'm not very affectionate but my sister is. I don't know if there's a reason. The only thing I can come up with is that I was born very prematurely, and I spent the first few months in an incubator, where I couldn't really get hugs or be held close. In fact, the first time my dad got to hold me was 2 months after I was born. Who knows if my theory is right...
 
I'm a hugger. On Kenny's scale, I would say I'm about an 8. As far as my children and hugs are concerned, I am way off the charts! :twirl:
 
I'm a hugger. I'm southern, it's what we do.
 
I'm more so today then before. I used to be a 1.5. I'm probably more of a 4 now. I have no problem hugging my DH, my family members, my MIL, SIL, FIL and SIL's bf. A little less so for his extended family. I don't always hug my friends, except for those who tend to be "huggy."

DH came from a family where affection was much more freely expressed (must be the Hawaiian influence). On the other hand, my parents are the first generation who actually smiled in family photos. And I'm never seen my parents kiss on the lips. So, physical affection is not something I'm used to. Does it surprise anyone to hear that DH wants me to be more affectionate?
 
I'm an 8.5 out of 10. I love hugs!! Not hugs with strangers, but if you're my friend I will give you a hug when I say hello and say goodbye. Men, women, children, pets... doesn't matter! That being said, I won't go out of my way to hug most people (except the very best of friends and family). If I'm across the room from you a wave will suffice

I don'tthink I pop others' personal space bubbles, but I could be wrong.
 
I love me a good hug... but only from my fiance, family, and close friends. Could be a hello hug, a goodbye hug, or a just because hug. Hugs make me feel so cozy and happy and secure.

It's funny - there are some people outside that circle who I'm OK with. Our wedding coordinator is a hugger, and I'm OK with that. He's a huge help to us, so... no biggie. We have an elderly neighbor who likes to hug - I wouldn't initiate one with her, but I'm OK with it if she wants to hug me. It doesn't feel awkward for some reason.

But the majority of people outside my family and friends? No thanks.
 
No I am not a hugger and my inlaws are huggers, it drives me batty, I tolerate it but usually just stand there....I know its cold, but they dont like me anyway so no skin off my nose, lol
 
Serial hugger here.

Which is strange, given how much I generally dislike being in company - for such a solitary person, I dole out the hugs in plentiful quantity!

Maybe it's my way of making up for truly being uncomfortable about being there...?
 
I'm not a hugger at all. I'm pretty anti-touch alltogether. My SO is an exception, but overall, I get a little weirded out when casual acquaintences broach my personal space bubble. I come from an Italian family that is crazy touchy-feely. Hugs, kisses, hand holding, the works. Somehow, I was born the odd duck. :tongue:

I think some people see me as a little impersonal, or what not, but as they get to know me, they just realize I'm not a big touchy person. Close friends usually just grab me and hug me anyways. I don't mind that as much, when it's close friends.
 
I'm not a hugger at all I love my personal space thanks. On Kenny's scale I'm probably a 0....maybe a 1 on a good day. I definitely inwardly (and sometimes outwardly!) cringe when people hug me. DH on the other hand is definitely closer to a 10- he hugs everyone including my family which I don't even do!
 
I hug close friends and family, but not really acquaintances. If I don't wanna hug you, I'll step back and say, "Hi five?" :cheeky:
 
Oh, I love to hug. Both in greeting and in general affection, I am happy to hug. I am just touchy-feely.

On Kenny's scale, I'm usually about an 8.5.
 
Callisto said:
I'm kind of on both extremes, I really enjoy real hugs from close friends, family, or SO. But HATE the obligatory, I haven't seen you in a while but we don't really know each other that well, hug. It makes me feel so awkward. My friends are big huggers so I'm pretty used to it, but that doesn't mean I like it. Some of my friends are huggers when you get there and huggers when you leave kind of people and I don't really like that either, even with close friends, but I enjoy hugs that are motivated by emotion as opposed to obligation.
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I am like this too. I find that as I get older I am much more open to hugs.
 
I'm not a hugger. Not even with family. I always feel awkward and uncomfortable :((
 
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