are some people''s lives just more dramatic...

[phoenixgirl]

Date: 6/25/2009 10:50:28 AM
Author: purselover
drama goes where drama''s wanted

Well said. DH has a relative who always has something crazy happening to him or a friend. He definitely makes poor choices which lead to drama, and he tends to hang out with people like himself . . . hence, there is always drama to hear about.

How much of the time does she do the talking when you hang out/talk on the phone? If she hogs the whole conversation talking about problems you can''t relate to or which she has blown out of proportion, I would definitely be annoyed. Is she the kind of person who won''t do anything about the bad (work, boyfriend, fill in the blank) situation she''s complaining about to actually make it better, so you have to rehash the same conversation again the next time you talk? And you''re like, "Just break up/talk to the boss/etc. already!" And she''s like, "I know, but . . ." Argh. Annoying.

 

[Kelli]

Drama is different than bad luck IMO. I''ve had some pretty unlucky events going on recently, and I''m doing my best to ignore the DRAMA that is associated with it. If I can''t-- or more importantly shouldn''t-- control something, I let it be. At least that is my goal, and so far I''m doing it.

 

[ficklefaye]

like some of you have mentioned, it is exhausting having conversations with this friend because it does often feel one-sided. when i start to talk about myself, it just reminds her of something else she needs to tell me. not to seem rude, but i feel like she brings all the drama upon herself by not reacting maturely to situations. i just don''t feel it is my place to tell her how to lead her life, but sometimes i wish i could just open her eyes to this.

i understand that everyone has dramatic events in their lives and i really do believe it''s the way a person reacts and deals with them that makes the difference

 

[ficklefaye]

i lost sleep over this issue last night, so i read this thread again for some assurance

i want to distance myself from this friend, but i don''t want to feel like i''m acting immaturely and trying to avoid the situation, would it be wrong of me to do so?

 

[phoenixgirl]

Oh no, I''m sorry you lost sleep! That doesn''t sound like a friendship you should put much effort into! She''s not a real friend if she never wants to hear about you anyway.

Since you''re probably too gracious to tell her the truth -- I can''t take your drama or the way you talk about yourself all the time! -- you could try just returning her calls less and less and making up excuses when she wants to get together. If you do want to see her, you could plan to go to the movies or a concert so you can''t really talk.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

fickle, I think it is ALWAYS difficult when any relationship is not going well. I too had to cut off ties with a friend b/c of her victim mentality. It became too much for me to handle. I promise it does get easier. I used to lose sleep over her as well. You have to look out for yourself and protect yourself from toxic people.

 

[Maisie]

I wonder how anyone had the patience to deal with me when things were going wrong. I guess you could say I have had a lot of 'drama' in my life. I don't believe I invited it.. in fact a lot of it was out of my control. I also did NOT enjoy it or any attention it might have brought me. I would much rather have had a lovely peaceful life. I envy people who believe they can avoid this sort of stuff.

 

[Tuckins1]

Date: 6/25/2009 10:50:28 AM
Author: purselover
drama goes where drama''s wanted

Ditto!!!

 

[Lynn B]

I love my happy little simple life; and I've worked hard to make it and keep it that way. Some people, however, simply thrive on DRAMA.

I know a few personally, and FWIW, all of them were from somewhat dysfunctional/neglectful families, so maybe the drama is invented (or at least in response to) the lack of attention/validation/*whatever* in their formative years?! Who knows? But these people drive me BATTY and as someone else said, the older I get, the less patience I have for it!

 

[ficklefaye]

thank you everyone for your responses.

just to be clear, i do understand that not all types of drama are avoidable and i don't think people intentionally bring drama upon themselves (maybe some do, i don't know). i am more than willing to listen and comfort a friend going through drama in their lives. but i am losing patience in this case because i keep hearing the same story over and over again and i feel like my friend doesn't do anything to change. maybe it's not my right to judge, but as her friend who has heard the same story over the years, it just happens. i'm not saying she enjoys the drama, but she does seem to enjoy the attention from sharing the story.

 

[DiamondFlame]

Sh!t happens. But the way you respond to it determines if you are a drama queen. If I were to describe the tough times I went thru, many would be shocked. But I'd never be accused of being drama mama cuz I never amp these events up. Few people know of them and details are sparse. On the other hand, some people juz can't seem to stay out of trouble and make a bigger mess out of the ones they are already in. You can be the listening ear but after a while, when you realise your advice fall on deaf ears, you grow indifferent.