Are girls getting more greedy nowadays ?

[dk168]

Looking at the offerings in the high street/mall jewellers, not a lot has changed in UK, in that the norm is still about 0.5ct round or Princess cut diamonds as e-rings, and the dreaded illusion sets are widely available.

ECs and other cuts are far and between.

DK

 

[LilAlex]

I heard the norm now is 1.5ct or bigger.

Not possible, of course. There are way more poor people getting married than well-off people. I'm sure there are more silicone bands sold than 1.5-ct+ e-rings. OK, well I am not really sure but I am quite confident.

Many people in the industry may recognize this as a trend. Just like the folks at the Porsche dealership noticing that people seem to be buying a lot of expensive Porsches.

Separately, given what has happened to diamond pricing over the decades since I bought "our" e-ring, one can probably afford a bigger diamond now, accounting for inflation. My $4,000 stone is probably $5,000 now -- for a 0.7% annual appreciation rate , which is way lower than inflation. (Apart from a few biotech stocks in the '90s, this is possibly my worst "investment.") Even a typical appreciation matching inflation would give me $10K now, which would buy a much nicer diamond now.

EDIT: so the reason I actually came on -- and then lost my way -- was to make the case that I see no evidence for an increase in greed since diamonds are cheaper now.

 

[Bojambles]

This question is already being asked in a biased way. "greedy", really? How about, "are [women] getting more unwilling to settle for less these days?"

I think what you'll find is that women nowadays have better prospects in their career and jobs although discrimination and unfair treatment of course still exists.

So if they're not going to settle for someone who doesn't meet their requirements, they don't have to. And of course that doesn't mean just money, but if you can't afford your female partner's lifestyle, strong indicator that you're not going to be compatible in many ways.

The objective benefits that getting married presents for women these days is getting smaller and smaller. There were never alot to being with in the past - statistically women live longer unmarried, whereas the reverse is true for men - so it's more like, getting married isn't the only way to feed yourself decently nowadays, thanks to job opportunities.

My personal opinion is that the very least a man should be able to do is go all out for the stone, if finances permit (that doesn't mean what he thinks is "reasonable", it means what he can afford wrt his monthly income - there's a reason why that peg exists). Ain't nobody asking him to kill a lion these days.

If he isn't even willing to do that, I would strongly counsel his fiancee against getting committed to a man who isn't even willing to show the smallest amount of effort - money.

 

[Bojambles]

At any rate - I do see a variety of people with ~3ct expensive engagement rings to 0.3ct engagement rings. It does vary with earning power, wealth and age. Although 3ct rings for almost / early 30s is common.

 

[JulieN]

The woman who gets married now has higher standards than ever before.

 

[FL_runner]

I agree that I don’t like the word choice of women being “more greedy” but I do think the look of having a large stone is much more popular. I would guess a lot of those rings are moissanite or lab, esp for the younger ladies.

 

[Cerulean]

I think the “average” (the mean) is a bit of a useless statistic here.

Large diamonds afforded by only the top echelon of the nation will dramatically skew data. The median will be more telling IMO, but frankly how the heck does anyone even have access to a statistically significant data set of the carat weight of all diamonds in the US across a range of zip codes? Location, location, location.

If you take your sample from the first 15 ladies under 35 you see at rush hour in a major metropolitan area, why yes, I do imagine you’re going to see a lot of 1.5+ rocks.

If you go to the county fair in rural Indiana let’s say and ask the first 15 women under 35 you see, you may find most people aren’t wearing engagement rings at all or that many are from a local mall.

With lab diamonds and moissy, it’s hard to even say how many of those “huge” diamonds are truly mined diamonds. I’ve been fooled at a glance by a CZ, I’m sure we all have.

I’m the only person in my entire friend group that covets diamonds and spend what I do on jewelry. My friends’ social economic status varies widely, from poor to extremely wealthy.

I have a dear friend who’s sister is literally married to someone who owns an emerald mine. She went with a simple gold Cartier band.

 

[AdaBeta27]

A 93 year old female relative recently shocked me by saying that since so many marriages don't last (at least not in this low income locale, haha), she thinks women should not receive any diamond ring at all until after at least 1-2 years of a successful marriage. I'm shocked, because historically she has been very biased toward the women and not very approving of local men.

eta: I divorced after almost 10 years of marriage and will probably remain single for my remaining time on Earth, or at least at long as I live in small town America. I have been buying my own diamond rings since 2005.

 

[Missy]

A 93 year old female relative recently shocked me by saying that since so many marriages don't last (at least not in this low income locale, haha), she thinks women should not receive any diamond ring at all until after at least 1-2 years of a successful marriage. I'm shocked, because historically she has is very biased toward the women and not very approving of local men.

If I were to guess statistics I’d guess more marriages break up after the 1-2 year mark. But I could be completely wrong. It’s just a guess.

The question is - is the ER a gift or a non written contract of a promise to get and stay married.

 

[AdaBeta27]

If I were to guess statistics I’d guess more marriages break up after the 1-2 year mark. But I could be completely wrong. It’s just a guess.

The question is - is the ER a gift or a non written contract of a promise to get and stay married.

I think 4 years was the peak divorce time back when I got divorced. Lots of local marriages here, they have a kid right away, then they're divorced by the time the kid is 1.

In my state, before the marriage the law generally considers an e-ring a gift contingent upon marriage, provided the ring hasn't been given as a gift for some occasion like birthday or Christmas, in which case it becomes personal property of the recipient. A gift contingent upon marriage remains property of the giver unless marriage has occurred. AFTER marriage, it has become the personal property of the recipient in most cases. that's how divorce courts generally rule, at least. I gave my e-ring back to my ex-husband to do with as he pleased. Then promptly bought myself a larger and better cut but fiscally conservative diamond that I have thoroughly enjoyed and still own.

 

[Missy]

I think 4 years was the peak divorce time back when I got divorced. Lots of local marriages here, they have a kid right away, then they're divorced by the time the kid is 1.

In my state, before the marriage the law generally considers an e-ring a gift contingent upon marriage, provided the ring hasn't been given as a gift for some occasion like birthday or Christmas, in which case it becomes personal property of the recipient. A gift contingent upon marriage remains property of the giver unless marriage has occurred. AFTER marriage, it has become the personal property of the recipient in most cases. that's how divorce courts generally rule, at least. I gave my e-ring back to my ex-husband to do with as he pleased. Then promptly bought myself a larger and better cut but fiscally conservative diamond that I have thoroughly enjoyed and still own.

That is what I thought.
We don’t ask for the man to give his ring back once married but then divorced…do we.

 

[VRBeauty]

If I were to guess statistics I’d guess more marriages break up after the 1-2 year mark. But I could be completely wrong. It’s just a guess.

The question is - is the ER a gift or a non written contract of a promise to get and stay married.

I believe that varies by state. Al least, the fate of the ring varies by state.

 

[jaysonsmom]

I have been married almost 21 years, and back when my friends and I were getting engaged (mid-to late 20s), we had e-rings between 0.5-1.5ct, with the majority wanting and receiving <1ct rings. I had one friend that was "greedier", and holding out to date rich guys, and someone who would propose with a 2+ carat rock....well, guess what, she is still single at 48! No boyfriend, no giant diamond, and lost her youth too!

With the availability and affordability with moissanite and labgrown diamonds, it may look like e-rings are skewing towards larger stones, but may likely still be in the general price point.

 

[Cinders]

I find this concept amusing because I'm continually amazed by how much less expensive diamonds are now compared to when I got married.

I'm sure it's actually due to increased accessibility to diamonds/gems/jewelers rather than a decrease in diamond prices. The effect, though, is that significantly bigger & better diamonds/rings are available at a lower cost than when I got engaged in the early aughts.

 

[Dancing Fire]

I had one friend that was "greedier", and holding out to date rich guys, and someone who would propose with a 2+ carat rock....well, guess what, she is still single at 48! No boyfriend, no giant diamond, and lost her youth too!

She'll take a .50ct now!