Are all teens slobs?

[Lauren8211]

I was a TERRIBLE slob as a teenager! Ugh! Once I got out on my own and had my own place, it slowly became more important to me that I keep a clean home. Now I'm just as anal about it as my *gasp* MOTHER!

 

[Cind11]

I could have written your post. My sixteen year old daughter (high school junior) is a complete slob. Her bathroom should be declared a disaster area. I have given up cleaning it. If she doesn't care, why should I? And I can't clean around the mess of stuff she has on her bathroom counter on either side of the sink. She throws her dirty underwear on the floor in a corner of the bathroom. Another thing that drives me nuts is that I should probably buy stock in hairspray with the amount she uses. There is a coating on her bathroom floor. It took me over an hour to get it off the floor and now it has built back up again! The bathtub is a soapscummy mess. Her bedroom is equally a disaster. I have tried threatening her, all to no avail. My other daughter who is a freshman in college is the complete opposite. She is neat almost to the point of being anal about it. I just can't win. I don't know what to do about the little slob. Good thing she is a wonderful kid otherwise! I feel your pain!!!

 

[Arkteia]

Well, my son used to be a slob when he was living in the house. Shameful to admit, but we were keeping the window in his room open for a year after he moved out.

Now that he rents his own appartment with a roommate, he became amazingly clean and neat. A kid who would not even care to splash the bathroom after himself, much less clean it is now keeping the house immaculate, his rug vacuumed. He also started cooking and has a full gourmet kitchen! He criticises us for not cooking well and not caring about the house as much as we should, but we have another slob growing up who also makes graffittis on walls...

I think that as soon as your daughter moves out and starts a life of her own, she'll turn into an epitome of neatness!

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

I wouldn't classify my son as a slob, but he doesn't take care about neatness. I have detached myself from his rats nest drawers (I fold shirts from the laundry only once--after that it is his problem). If he doesn't care about balled up clothing--then neither do I! The leaking clogged up toothpaste mess does take a lot of restraint

cheers--Sharon

 

[soocool]

DD left for school 1/2 hour ago. Toilet flushed, clothes in the hamper, towels hung up. I am impressed. I wonder how long it will last?

 

[elrohwen]

I think all are slobs to some extent. I was never hugely messy, but I was definitely much messier than my mom would've liked! Most of my friends and various college roommates were worse than me.

Then again, it might just be a mom thing. I keep my house fairly clutter free and I try to clean very well before my mom visits, but she always ends up finding dust somewhere (like under the tv!) and cleaning my whole house. Haha.

 

[dragonfly411]

DON"T CLEAN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tell her she can either clean it, or lose privileges. She'll never learn to APPRECIATE clean unless you make her make it clean herself!!!

 

[chemgirl]

DON"T CLEAN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tell her she can either clean it, or lose privileges. She'll never learn to APPRECIATE clean unless you make her make it clean herself!!!

YES!!!!

"What, you need a ride? Oh you need to borrow the car? SURE! As soon as you finish cleaning the bathroom." If they absolutely need to get somewhere then lend bus fare!

Good thing I don't have kids right?

 

[Strawdermangrl]

I didn't read through all this but, yes, I was.

Now? Not even close. I am neurotic about things and their place now.

Not sure how it all happened. But yet, I think most grow out of it.

 

[Jennifer W]

I'm not trying to be smart or snarky, but I do wonder, does it really matter? If it's her space, why not let her decide how it should be kept? If she's a slob, then she will either grow out of it or not. So long as it isn't bad enough to be causing structural damage to your house, why not let go? No amount of nagging, pleading, loss of privileges etc will achieve anything here other than resentment and frustration for her and you, I suspect. I never met a neat teenager yet, but I know plenty of people who grew up to be able to keep house ok (I'm not one of them, but that's not the point).

Whatever approach you decide to take, good luck! Being a teenage girl is horrible, I remember it vividly. Being the mother of a teenage girl is a joy i have still to come, wish me luck!

 

[Winks_Elf]

my two daughters are slobs... their rooms look like a garbage dump...

My daughters are almost 11 and almost 5, and the 10-year-old is a NIGHTMARE SLOB!!!!! The boys are 13 and almost 7 (Billy's birthday is this week), and they don't make HALF the mess as Kimberly does.

 

[ksinger]

DON"T CLEAN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tell her she can either clean it, or lose privileges. She'll never learn to APPRECIATE clean unless you make her make it clean herself!!!

YES!!!!

"What, you need a ride? Oh you need to borrow the car? SURE! As soon as you finish cleaning the bathroom." If they absolutely need to get somewhere then lend bus fare!

Good thing I don't have kids right?

Nope. You sound like you're channeling my mom. LOL! I didn't know there was an OPTION to live in her house any other way than she dictated. My opinion or wishes were irrelevant in an instance like this. I WAS going to do what she said, and it would be a cold day in hell when she'd let me get away with anything...ever. But then I've only ever met one person as "definite" (aka - stubborn) as she was, and I'm married to him. I guess I like definite people.

My mother swore to me that she was MUCH more lenient than her own mother, but over the years I've come to realize that by her generation's standard, she ran an extremely tight ship and didn't allow much wiggle room. Very few of my generation (to judge by stories of friends my own age) had parents as strict, and even fewer of my generation are as strict as she was, or I would have been inclined to be, had I not missed the baby boat.

 

[Haven]

I think this is a nature rather than nurture thing. I was always a neat *and* clean kid, while my sister was always a slob. My mom and I used to have cleaning marathons when my sister was away at camp where we would spend several days cleaning all of the STUFF and dirt and icky things from her room. We were both raised in the same home by the same people, but we were just naturally very different.

I understand the argument that you're enabling the slobbery ( ) when you clean her room for her, but I can tell you as someone who was really bothered by messiness, it felt really good to clean out my sister's room. Yes, she was the one who had to live with it, but knowing it was there was so annoying. Besides, she would have lived in that messy room forever had we not cleaned it, so doing so was really just for our own piece of mind.

If it helps you feel better, this sister is now in grad school to become a rabbi and her place is not even close to being messy. Some slobs grow up and become neat.

 

[chemgirl]

DON"T CLEAN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tell her she can either clean it, or lose privileges. She'll never learn to APPRECIATE clean unless you make her make it clean herself!!!

YES!!!!

"What, you need a ride? Oh you need to borrow the car? SURE! As soon as you finish cleaning the bathroom." If they absolutely need to get somewhere then lend bus fare!

Good thing I don't have kids right?

Nope. You sound like you're channeling my mom. LOL! I didn't know there was an OPTION to live in her house any other way than she dictated. My opinion or wishes were irrelevant in an instance like this. I WAS going to do what she said, and it would be a cold day in hell when she'd let me get away with anything...ever. But then I've only ever met one person as "definite" (aka - stubborn) as she was, and I'm married to him. I guess I like definite people.

My mother swore to me that she was MUCH more lenient than her own mother, but over the years I've come to realize that by her generation's standard, she ran an extremely tight ship and didn't allow much wiggle room. Very few of my generation (to judge by stories of friends my own age) had parents as strict, and even fewer of my generation are as strict as she was, or I would have been inclined to be, had I not missed the baby boat.

Haha, I was only repeating what my parents did with my sister and I. We got what we wanted as long as we followed their rules.

Then there were the threats of "If you don't clean up that mess I'm going to put it all in a garbage can and put it on the curb!"

 

[LadyBlue]

DON"T CLEAN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tell her she can either clean it, or lose privileges. She'll never learn to APPRECIATE clean unless you make her make it clean herself!!!

YES!!!!

"What, you need a ride? Oh you need to borrow the car? SURE! As soon as you finish cleaning the bathroom." If they absolutely need to get somewhere then lend bus fare!

Good thing I don't have kids right?

Nope. You sound like you're channeling my mom. LOL! I didn't know there was an OPTION to live in her house any other way than she dictated. My opinion or wishes were irrelevant in an instance like this. I WAS going to do what she said, and it would be a cold day in hell when she'd let me get away with anything...ever. But then I've only ever met one person as "definite" (aka - stubborn) as she was, and I'm married to him. I guess I like definite people.

My mother swore to me that she was MUCH more lenient than her own mother, but over the years I've come to realize that by her generation's standard, she ran an extremely tight ship and didn't allow much wiggle room. Very few of my generation (to judge by stories of friends my own age) had parents as strict, and even fewer of my generation are as strict as she was, or I would have been inclined to be, had I not missed the baby boat.

Haha, I was only repeating what my parents did with my sister and I. We got what we wanted as long as we followed their rules.

Then there were the threats of "If you don't clean up that mess I'm going to put it all in a garbage can and put it on the curb!"

This does not work to everybody. My mom would say that and I would not care and she would actually put my stuff in the garbage. I think as a parent you have to learn to pick your battles. I hate cleaning, I still do, but now I clean because I care about my house, but before there was no way I would want to pick up a thing. I turn out being very succesfull and very close to my mom. I guess if she would had fight with me every time I did not pick up we would not being as good friends as we are.

 

[soocool]

I think this is a nature rather than nurture thing. I was always a neat *and* clean kid, while my sister was always a slob. My mom and I used to have cleaning marathons when my sister was away at camp where we would spend several days cleaning all of the STUFF and dirt and icky things from her room. We were both raised in the same home by the same people, but we were just naturally very different.

I understand the argument that you're enabling the slobbery ( ) when you clean her room for her, but I can tell you as someone who was really bothered by messiness, it felt really good to clean out my sister's room. Yes, she was the one who had to live with it, but knowing it was there was so annoying. Besides, she would have lived in that messy room forever had we not cleaned it, so doing so was really just for our own piece of mind.

If it helps you feel better, this sister is now in grad school to become a rabbi and her place is not even close to being messy. Some slobs grow up and become neat.

Haven, I think you hit the nail on the head. This is my house and I am just a clean freak (everyone I know says this about me). It makes me feel better when things are clean and the house is clutter free. I get so stressed out when things aren't neat and in their place. I also have to keep my stress levels to a minimum, so I guess in the end if I clean my stress levels go down. I still reinforce the cleaning thing with DD and hopefully someday when she has her own place she will keep it clean and neat, but then again I don't have to live with her.I am sure someday she will stress everytime I say I am coming over and thinks I will judge her level of cleanliness. Perhaps my housewarming gift to her will be a basket of cleaning necessities?