Anyone here prefer NOT to have a

[MINE!!]

Dog or cat?

NOW I do not mean becuase they cannot have one where they live or anything like that. I mean do you prefer not to have a dog or cat and I am curious to hear why?

 

[MissAva]

Some people just dont want to mess with it. You have to take the time to train them and it is one more thing to think about. You can just up and leave for a holiday and they can be quite expensive with shots food and what not. Some people have allergies and some dont want to be sweeping the floor (though you could just get one that doesnt shed like my baby). Some may have small children adn dont want to have their toddler hurting the puppy/kitten and making it mean. But there are lots of valid reasons not to own a pet.

 

[Mara]

I've wanted a dog ever since I was 15 and my Mom gave our 9 month old Westie back to the breeder because she was pregnant with my sister (oops! My parents thought they were done!) and she didn't want to have to deal with a puppy and an upcoming baby...don't ask me what kind of reasoning this was...I sobbed and begged her to let me take care of the dog rather than giving it back to the breeder but I was 15 and she said that I was too busy with school and social life etc to really take care of the dog. I was SO SAD..and missed Townsley for years.

From that point on, I swore I'd have another Westie. Our old girl, Townsley, was such a great dog. Anyhow, fast forward to when I was 20 and living on my own...and 21 and 22 and on and on. It just never was the right time. Even in places where I *could* have a pet, I just always felt like I was not ready, aka financially and/or social life wise...I knew how much I would want to give to the pet and I just didn't have that to give yet at those points in my life. When I met Greg, he knew I wanted a dog, maybe multiples, and we talked about it and I kept in touch with local breeders.

I actually got in touch with breeders a few times in the last 5 years around times when I felt I was finally ready. But each time when I got close to finding or buying a puppy (before birth!)...I just felt like it again was not right, not the right time. Would I be a good pet parent, did I really have the time, etc.

Finally last year, after I'd looked into it again the year before and again decided that it wasn't the right time, this time is May 2004 and we'd just come home from getting married and honeymooning, I wasn't working (I had left my job a month before the wedding) and was figuring out what I wanted to do next in my career, aka go fwd to the next step in marketing or do something new...and I thought, what better time now that I am actually home...to get a puppy! We were lucky to find Portia who had a deposit on her before birth but the gal had to back out and this was a breeder I'd kept in touch with through the years..so she was fairly familiar with me.

Funny thing, when I made the appt to go see Portia..we were going on a Saturday. It was a 4 hour drive one way, it's in the country. That Friday night I was going out with some girlfriends and still thinking about if this was the right thing to do. Now we had this appt and we were committed to seeing her, and I thought, wow this is the last time EVER that I will be able to rush around the house 5 minutes before I need to leave and not worry about anyone else but myself (Greg wasn't home!). I thought about this as I drove to meet my friends...I thought, oh my god are we really going to do this, it's such a big responsibility! Never just 'running out the door' again, never staying gone longer than 5-6 hours at a time, never staying overnight on a long drive without thinking about it first..

We went to see P the next day and the rest is history. I knew when we saw her and were playing with her that we were SUNK and that she was coming home with us, end of story. What ensued in the next few months was chaos in our carefully organized home and lives with this white small ball of fur but I would not trade her for the world.

Some people don't give enough thought to getting a pet and think it's just a cavalier decision, aka oh that puppy in the window is cute. But for me it was just the reverse. I had had the perfect pet in my old Westie and had to give her up. I did not want to go through that again with MY dog. I wanted to be sure that we had thought everything through and were committed to it for the long haul. Funny thing was that we were SO NOT near prepared, but mentally I think I was much more prepared than many people because I'd 'psyched' myself out to expect large life changes.

Now a year later we've incorporated all the aspects of taking care of the dog into our lives, it's second nature. There are mornings when P is not around, aka when we are going out of town and my parents had her the night before...and I feel so FREE looking at an empty water bowl and knowing I am not responsible for her well-being..even just for today. But then the house echoes emptily back at Greg and I...and we miss her horribly when we are away and love spending time with her when we are home, so we know we made the absolute right decision! She is spoiled rotten and we all love it.

Long rambling answer..but YES I preferred not to have a pet until I was ready and NO because now we know we could probably never be without a dog ever again!

 

[MINE!!]

Yes that is true. I do not want people to misunderstand.. I am not asking to critize. I for one, choose not to have pets. I know why I do, was just wondering what other feel about it.

 

[MINE!!]

Thanks for your well put reply Mara. I am sure that you have one happy puppy there. My grandmother, father and stepmother all have dogs. They swear by them. They love and adore them. My children have a dog a their fathers house and they are just nuts about Cindy. My B-friend just bought an 800 dollar puppy and brought him over last night. And well... most of my friends have dogs.. family dogs.. none of my friends are single.

I suppose it is quite a conundrum to me really. As soon as I walk in every dog goes lick happy. I have had dogs when I was growing up and have been around them. I know that they are loyal and most are kind. I have a soft heart when it comes to animals being a abused and it really pisses me off to see. I have seen what ''losing'' an animal has done (effected) some people. I guess I really appreciate the fact that they are alove and make people happy... But I just don''t get it.


There is a lady in my town who has something called the Marley Foundation. IT is for a cat she had that died from Kitty Leukemia. Anyway she is a ''lady who lunches'' and does nothing excpet raise money for this foundation in honor of her dead cat. I understand her being attached... but the other day she was having one of her fundraisers right next to the Children''s Cancer wards at the local hospital. She was so proud of raising money.. almost 15,000$.. (for kitt y leukemia) while children were dying in the building next to her. It broke my heart.

But maybe I just do not understand.

I am not saying that getting attached to animal is wrong, or that it is bad... I just thought that this was sad. I know that my family would do anything for their pets...anything, even give to a foundation to save the life of animals... and not to help find the cure for the cancer that is killing children.

I know many of younhave animals here and are probably going to be teed off by this. But do not take it personally, I just don;t understand it. Therefore I was just wondering if anyone else had a reason why they may not have animals.

 

[Mara]

As someone who lived many years without a pet...I totally understand where you are coming from, Mine. Children are more important to you than pets.

We visited Florida earlier this year, Greg's grandfather is 95! He lives with G's aunt and uncle who have a small shi-tzu dog. We brought pictures of Portia to show Greg's mom who was visiting too. She also has a small shi-tzu she got last year. Anyhow, we are all oohing and aaahing over pictures of Portia and Candi and Greg's grandfather, who doesn't speak much English said something along the lines of 'what is up with all these dogs? dogs in the houses, dogs in beds? where are the great-grandchildren?'

G's grandfather had lots of dogs and animals in their house..but they were all outside. There was no liver biscotti or sleeping in the bed, maybe even no face licks..who knows.

We just laughed..because we too marvel at just how SICK we are about our dog and how much love and care we lavish on her, and in fact are not sure we want CHILDREN...but we adore our dog.

To be honest, I am not a fan of most children. They are usually too loud, too irritating, given too many freedoms, too many parents these days just turn their head and look the other way if Bobby is behaving badly. Oh but Bobby has to express himself. How about I express myself on Bobby's butt with my open palm?

So when I got Portia, I took big pains to ensure she was a well-behaved dog, lots of training, treats and reading up. Everyone loves her and comments on how great a dog she is. I didn't want to be one of those 'parents' who thinks their kid is fabulous when in fact everyone around you thinks your kid is a menace but you are blinded by love.

Now I know that people who have KIDS normally would bristle up here and be like 'well my kid isn't like that or I am a good parent', okay yeah sure fine whatever! We are all fabulous parents. I don't want to debate child or pet rearing etc...but I can totally understand what you are saying re: not understanding the pet love instead of giving it to children...that is a common thing when people have kids and others have pets. We see it here in our park behind our house. The parents with kids (no dogs) complain there are so many dogs in the park and that their kids can't play as much with the dogs running around. Us dog parents take a private thrill in seeing the kids NOT coming to play in the park because they are more obnoxious most times than the dogs.

They tend to harass and tease the dogs while Mom calls out No's from across the park.

Anyhow...I am sure once WE have kids, if we do, then it will all change again, perception is really based upon what you know and what you live. Before we had dogs, people with barking dogs irritated us and/or big jumpy dogs irritated us. But now we have a dog. So I'm sure it's the same once you have a kid...but hopefully we will always realize that Portia is our first child too and we lavished love and devotion on her and in return she gives us unconditional love and sloppy kisses in the morning...and we won't ever forget her...even when (if!) we have our own children (or maybe just more dogs?).

 

[Mara]

Oh and I wanted to say also that for many, today''s dogs or pets ARE their children! There are numerous articles on this, I posted a thread previously on how many in this generation are opting out of real parenthood in favor of parenting something with 4 legs.

The only thing is I wish Portia could TALK. But then maybe that wouldn''t be fun after all.

 

[sjz]

I''m not touching this thread with a ten foot pole!

 

[moremoremore]

Well, I have three cats and I love them dearly. LOVE them. They are my babies. I just adore them and the companionship they bring. People who have never been around cats don't understand that they have emotions and are so loving. They like to play and fetch! It's such a joy! HOWEVER, the cat hair...the scratches on the furniture...sometimes it's just too much to handle. I really doubt I'll ever have more...but as I type this, my Vinny is trying to get onto my lap to get some lovin. Sigh. I think cats are so smart..he knows I'm talking about him LOL

 

[icekid]

you know MINE!... I think I do understand to some extent. I LOVE dogs, and am dying to get one (may not work out, unfortunately)... but cats? I can take them or leave them. They just don''t do anything for me. I understand others may be attached to them, but... I am just not interested in having one. My parents have a cat and a dog, and ohhhhhh how I love the dog!! But the cat is just around. I don''t actively dislike it, but I don''t actively look for it either.

But a PUPPY...

siiiiiiiigh... i''ve been kind of depressed for the last few days, thinking that we may not be able to get a dog. we''ve been looking for a new apartment for a couple months now (current place does not allow them) and having no luck at all. everywhere that allows dogs is either a craphole or obscenely expensive, and i am having a hard time justifying an additional 10 grand in school loans over the next three years so we can get a more expensive apt (and hence dog). of course, bf will be making more money in the next year or two, but more or less RIGHT NOW is the only time we can get a dog in the next... oh, 7-8 years pretty much, due to my schooling and my subsequent residency.

my poor bf thinks i''ve lost it, b/c i keep telling him that my puppy has died! but it kind of has in a way. i spent soooo much time researching, and talking to different breeders. and i finally found someone who is wonderful and was going to help me find the perfect dog! so the puppy was real to me. add the fact that we won''t be able to get a puppy for so long if we don''t get one now, and i''ve been pretty sad. on the plus side, i think that will make my bf give me my ring sooner

(though i did tell him that I would prefer a engagement puppy to the ring!)

and b/c i know you all love pictures, here is one of the babies from the litter that we were planning to adopt from... so precious!

 

[DiamondLover23]

When I opened this thread I thought it was going to be about kids, ha!

I have 2 cats, 2 dogs, no kids; and I prefer it this way!

There is a big division between ''kid people'' and ''pet people'' but then of course there are people that have both!

 

[mrssalvo]

I have kids and a dog

We adopted our puppy first and she is and always be my first baby. That being said, my hubby isn't a huge dog fan. He can take them or leave them and prefers them to live outdoors. Ours makes herself right at home on our couch

but does sleep in her own bed

He just doesn't like the all the doggie hair and other basic animal habits. He loves me and ok'd our dog but wouldn't be a fan of putting tons of $$ into medicines etc. if she became sick. She is a dog and we do have kids who's needs would obviously take priority. My dad isn't a big fan of owning pets either. He grew up on a farm and lost too many of his "friends" to accidents and was often heartbroken. He just doesn't care to go through the pain of the loss when they go on to animal heaven

 

[WTNLVR]

I think you are either an animal lover or you''re not. I have had a dog in my life since I was 12 except for a 1 yr period between losing 1 dog (old age) and getting another. I would have gotten a puppy soon after my Sammy passed on, but my husband said no. I was so depressed that year it wasn''t funny. Sam was my "son", I had him for 16 yrs got him at 8 wks old from a shelter. We don''t have kids (by choice). A new puppy would have helped me to re-focus my energies and my grief. Anyway, my hubby came around and we got Sinjon, a soft-coated wheaten terrier. Then, 2 yrs later, when hubby was out of work, HE suggested another one. I have had 2 dogs before and it''s double the work. I finally caved in and now we have 2 wheaties. I love them beyond anything. It does hamper our ability to go away, but as I pointed out to DH, when we had no dog for a year we only went away for 1 weekend! I would be like that lady raising money for the doggie foundation. There are far more people and huge corporations donating to people charities, I think, than to animal charities. Not that i don''t feel pain for the children, but huge corporations, etc... give tons of money to "people causes". Very few to animal ones. Just my humble opinion.

 

[Jennifer5973]

"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one''s soul remains uawakened." That being said, one of the most responsible and intelligent things a person can do is NOT adopt an animal he/she cannot care for or is unwilling to commit to for the long haul.

 

[Kaleigh]

As many of you know I have 2 dogs and a bird. Animals have always been a part of my life. We lost our first Bichon to Lupus of all things and it was very hard on my children. We went for a while without pets as my son was very ill with asthma and weren''t sure if a dog would trigger his allergies. Once we got the ok from his doctor we got our second Bichon Casper. Rob was not allergic at all around him. They call Bichon''s hypo allergenic fluff balls. After a while we got Callie and the two are best friends. It''s been great having them and my children love and adore them. Our bird Khakie is a Cockatiel, and she is a diva. She puts those dogs to shame. Sometimes I think she is way smarter than the dogs. The dogs are so smart, we have to spell certain words or they''ll know what we are talking about. Bottom line is you have to do what is right for you. I do know that it has been a great experience for my children and it has taught them responsibility in ways I could never imagine. It works for us, but that doesn''t mean it would work for you. I have a bunch of friends that have kids and don''t have pets. HTH.

 

[ForteKitty]

I''d rather have pets than kids. Never liked kids. Never wanted them. Other people''s kids are fun to have around from time to time, but I''m always glad when they leave.

 

[MissAva]

Date: 7/5/2005 9:52:17 PM
Author: Jennifer5973
''Until one has loved an animal, a part of one''s soul remains uawakened.'' That being said, one of the most responsible and intelligent things a person can do is NOT adopt an animal he/she cannot care for or is unwilling to commit to for the long haul.

This is the best reason not have one!

 

[Jennifer5973]

Date: 7/5/2005 10:04:25 PM
Author: ForteKitty
I''d rather have pets than kids. Never liked kids. Never wanted them. Other people''s kids are fun to have around from time to time, but I''m always glad when they leave.

Were we separated at birth?

 

[MINE!!]

Thanks everyone! I am glad that no one took it personally. I was not trying to insulting at all. Just don''t understand it.

I admit it, I am a sucker for my children''s hamsters. I talk to them like babies.. even though I know their little brains will not remember me once I put them back in their cages...LOL

When I was growing up we had 3 African Greys.. 1 Amazon Blue front, 2 parakeets, 2 hamsters and 1 Shitzu... maybe I am just petted out!! Funny how you describe children Mara.. noisy.. My house was always noisy...LOL... animal noisy.

Thank you everyone for contributing to this thread.. pets are sensitive subjects but everyone was awesome. I know that you love your babies a bunch.

When I go to heaven (I tell my children this all the time) the first thing that I am going to do is stick my face in the yummy soft neck of a kitten (I am deathly allergic to them)

Thanks again everyone~

 

[perry]

I am extreemly allergic to cats. In an order of a few minutes my entire face will start puffing up and I will be seezing. It takes days to fully recover as the allergic reaction triggers things that cause exhaustion that lingers after the swelling goes down.

I love dogs, and grew up with one (and am not allergic to them). However, most of my life I have had to travel, and I often work weird hours. Thus, a dog would either severely restrict what I do, or not get the proper care. Maybe someday if I ever settle down.

Perry

 

[ursulawrite]

Date: 7/5/2005 10:15:46 PM
Author: Jennifer5973

Date: 7/5/2005 10:04:25 PM
Author: ForteKitty
I''d rather have pets than kids. Never liked kids. Never wanted them. Other people''s kids are fun to have around from time to time, but I''m always glad when they leave.

Were we separated at birth?

Me three! I am sick of people asking when I''m going to have kids. I have a baby, albeit one covered in black and white fur.

Until I was 20 I''d never even held a baby. And I''ve still never changed a diaper or looked after kids for longer than an hour or two. I''d much rather be out walking my own dog or the rescue pooches at my local shelter

 

[moremoremore]

The cat is just AROUND icekid? LOL. Please. You've clearly either not had cats or have had the wrong cats. I have one sitting on my lap now purring and cooing and licking and taking nibbles on my fingers and the other trying to bury himself into my side. His pass time is dropping on the floor when he sees me coming in a shameless attempt to get belly rubs. He leaps up on the bed (well, he's fat. he's doesn't leap) and will get in between me and my husband. I don't know who snores more!

The other one is around dragging her string around looking for a playmate!

And I'm the third triplet Diamondlover and Jennifer!!! and you too Ursala..you beat me to it LOL


I SO hear ya Ursala..I'm 32 and have NEVER changed a diaper. . My hubby's 90 y/o grandmother asked his mom... Do you think I'll live to see my grandchildren. I wanted to say...You plan on living to 125 or maybe you should look into cryogenics (I know, it's horrible)

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Author: ursulawrite

Me three! I am sick of people asking when I''m going to have kids. I have a baby, albeit one covered in black and white fur.

I have THREE babies. . .one is my little girl kitty, covered in fur. . .the other two are, of course, my boys. I''ve loved cats all my life and cannot imagine being complete without having one cuddling and lounging around and I cannot imagine life without my kids either. . .both kinds of kids complete my me!

The parenting a pet issue is one I totally support. It''s flat out rude for a person to point out that you don''t have children yet or ever, because those people DON''T have to go through pregnancy for you or stay up late into wee hours changing diapers, feeding, etc. Even after having my two boys, people STILL pressure me to have more

NOT going to happen. Two kids and one cat (plus a husband) are enough.

One thing that I''m curious about is that a person will claim the pet is his/her child, but then the person will stick the dog in the back of a truck bed where the animal could possibly fly out if there is an accident. . . It also seems dangerous for a driver to have a dog in the car, because if an accident occurs, then the dog may fly right through the window. . .I think if ''animals as kids'' is the wave of the future, some sort of safety device should be designed for pets

 

[Mara]

How funny Jen/ursula/FK/mmm re: the kids or non-kids...it's always seemed so WRONG to say in public that you don't like children and/or not sure if you want them etc. But I have never been that into kids or babies either, when people bring in their babies or kids to work, it never inspired anything inside of me but irritation at all the cooing.

I'd much rather have a coworker bring their dog in (and sometimes they and I do!) Puppies and doggies are much more fun.

My sister was 15 when I was born so I was the '2nd mom'. She was a fabulous kid, I adore her, we are very close (people think she's my daughter!) and it was fun to help out and all that when I was younger...took alot of the pressure off my mom, but she was alot of work...I guess all kids are! I VERY CLEARLY recall all the work that goes into raising children!! It's like a dogx20!

So we figure P is practice...or maybe we will just get more dogs.

 

[Mara]

Oh Michelle there are doggie safety devices, Portia has a doggie seatbelt and she wears it every time she's in the car!!!

We are responsible for her safety within our control... in our 2nd doggie training class the gal told us that so many dogs are killed in car accidents when they are not strapped in and it's heartwrenching...I could not imagine if my dog died or was injured because I didn't have her strapped in. I would feel beyond horrible.

My girlfriend's dog does not wear one, he 'refuses' to (actually she refuses to put one on him) and I drove with him once bringing him to my house and he was ALL OVER THE PLACE...I was a bundle of nerves the whole time. I much prefer the dog in the seatbelt! P loves hers because it means she is going 'in the car'.

 

[moremoremore]

LOL...it's even worse when they are your nephews and god son. They expect me to gaga and googoo. And I"m like..nice kid. Now go away. "Do you want to hold him?" "No thanks"

I think that having children is wonderful for those who want them. I'm sure I'd love my own. But I'm starting to get REALLY nervous. Is it OK if I don't have any???

 

[Kaleigh]

I applaud all of you that have said very honestly that you may never have kids or want them. All the more power to you. Too many people have them that don't want them. I find it refreshing.

 

[s95]

I always say that I want to get a dog, but then when I think about all the responsibility of actually owning one, I balk. We periodically discuss it and do have one child that would love to have a dog.

I know what all of you are saying about not wanting kids and being sick of people asking you about it. People ask me if I am going to have more than one and don''t I think it''s selfish to have only one and don''t I think I will regret it if I have only one.....? For goodness sakes, people, mind your own business!

Having a child is so rewarding for me, but I think being honest and not caving into having children or more than one child is much more important than just having them for the sake of having them. I really adore my son and can''t imagine life without him, but to have another just so that he can have a playmate is not for me.

Now a dog, though......

 

[MissAva]

Date: 7/5/2005 10:38:47 PM
Author: ursulawrite

Date: 7/5/2005 10:15:46 PM
Author: Jennifer5973

Date: 7/5/2005 10:04:25 PM
Author: ForteKitty
I''d rather have pets than kids. Never liked kids. Never wanted them. Other people''s kids are fun to have around from time to time, but I''m always glad when they leave.

Were we separated at birth?

Me three! I am sick of people asking when I''m going to have kids. I have a baby, albeit one covered in black and white fur.

Until I was 20 I''d never even held a baby. And I''ve still never changed a diaper or looked after kids for longer than an hour or two. I''d much rather be out walking my own dog or the rescue pooches at my local shelter

UW- and you have such a handsome one at that! Personally I think it is great to have kids and great not to. Unless someone is going raise them , feed them and pay for everything I dont think they get a say. I think whatever decision that gets made is great as long a both parties agree. Besides with all the reproductive technology out there why hurry? Personally I like having a baby that is never going to go through adolesence...that is scary stuff.

 

[Dancing Fire]

i''am really surprise there''re so many PS members that don''t have kids.who''s gonna inherit all those beautiful jewelry.