I know this is rather heavy stuff for a forum like this, but I just got off the phone with my dad and I''m in tears. I''m now 29, and since my parents'' divorce and my dad''s subsequent remarriage 2 weeks later, I''ve been in constant pain. My dad chose to marry a very controlling, manipulative woman who has two kids a little younger than I. From the beginning he spent very little time alone with me, just the two of us doing something together. Whenever I wanted to, they would both say that I was being selfish and trying to separate them. I was only a child, they were both adults. I was never uncivil to her, ever. Little by little between the ages of 11 and 16 I''d start going to his house a lot less because I hated dealing with her. She always made snide comments about me in front of my dad and he would do nothing. She also told parents of my friend that my mom was a mean person, and the parents later informed my mom, after meeting her, that she was nothing like what they''d been told. These are just a few things that happened and honestly, every week she would say and do hurtful things so I can''t remember them all.
My dad is very well off and since I was about 16 it became obvious that he paid for a lot more stuff for her kids than for me. It''s not about the money- it was about feeling like I wasn''t even his child anymore. She would complain openly about how much alimony and child support my mom got, even though it was none of her business. He never got me a car, but I remember my stepsister, who was a year younger, arrived to school one day in a new truck. He paid for her $60k wedding several years ago, and I''m sure is paying for her next wedding in June. I''m not being a bean counter- these are simply some early examples and I''m very thankful that I''ve never wanted for anything in my life. It just hurts so much that the support and affection given to his step children is ok because it''s sanctioned by her.
I''m so embarrassed to say this at 29, but I just got off the phone with my dad where I had to ask for some money. He''s helped me over the years and I''m extremely grateful for it, but he completely hides it from my step mother. After saying that he''d send me some money, which again I''m so grateful for right now, he then said that she believes that I''d like to see them separated because of something I said 14 years ago. I''ve never said anything like that to them. I''ve thought it, yes, but never said it to them! It''s like he doesn''t have the courage to put up with her nonstop complaining so he hides it. He said the next time I come home we all need to sit down and bury the hatchet- something I''d like to do in theory but I know I''d be lying to myself if I did it.
His entire family hates her, btw, so it''s not just me. The first xmas afterr they married we were at my grandparents'' house and she asked to use the master bathroom. My grandfather went into the bedroom for something and found her looking through my grandmother''s jewelry in a drawer. She''s also told my dad that because I treat him and my grandfather so badly I should be left nothing by my grandfather. Treating my grandfather badly to her means that I don''t call him enough (how would she know?) and treating my dad badly is because I''m a bad daughter for supposedly not accepting her and not seeing my dad enough. I have never, ever, ever expected anything from anyone''s will, and the fact that my father thinks she''s justified in her crazy observations is truly absurd! Ah!
If you''ve read this stream-of-consciousness you''re amazing, lol! I''m still so upset. With some age I''ve dealt with the pain much better, but sometimes it does creep back and I feel like a wounded and shocked 11 year old all over again. I also need to get my life totally in order so I don''t have to ask for money sometimes. Does anyone have any adivice on how to cope? Thanks to all.
My dad is very well off and since I was about 16 it became obvious that he paid for a lot more stuff for her kids than for me. It''s not about the money- it was about feeling like I wasn''t even his child anymore. She would complain openly about how much alimony and child support my mom got, even though it was none of her business. He never got me a car, but I remember my stepsister, who was a year younger, arrived to school one day in a new truck. He paid for her $60k wedding several years ago, and I''m sure is paying for her next wedding in June. I''m not being a bean counter- these are simply some early examples and I''m very thankful that I''ve never wanted for anything in my life. It just hurts so much that the support and affection given to his step children is ok because it''s sanctioned by her.
I''m so embarrassed to say this at 29, but I just got off the phone with my dad where I had to ask for some money. He''s helped me over the years and I''m extremely grateful for it, but he completely hides it from my step mother. After saying that he''d send me some money, which again I''m so grateful for right now, he then said that she believes that I''d like to see them separated because of something I said 14 years ago. I''ve never said anything like that to them. I''ve thought it, yes, but never said it to them! It''s like he doesn''t have the courage to put up with her nonstop complaining so he hides it. He said the next time I come home we all need to sit down and bury the hatchet- something I''d like to do in theory but I know I''d be lying to myself if I did it.
His entire family hates her, btw, so it''s not just me. The first xmas afterr they married we were at my grandparents'' house and she asked to use the master bathroom. My grandfather went into the bedroom for something and found her looking through my grandmother''s jewelry in a drawer. She''s also told my dad that because I treat him and my grandfather so badly I should be left nothing by my grandfather. Treating my grandfather badly to her means that I don''t call him enough (how would she know?) and treating my dad badly is because I''m a bad daughter for supposedly not accepting her and not seeing my dad enough. I have never, ever, ever expected anything from anyone''s will, and the fact that my father thinks she''s justified in her crazy observations is truly absurd! Ah!
If you''ve read this stream-of-consciousness you''re amazing, lol! I''m still so upset. With some age I''ve dealt with the pain much better, but sometimes it does creep back and I feel like a wounded and shocked 11 year old all over again. I also need to get my life totally in order so I don''t have to ask for money sometimes. Does anyone have any adivice on how to cope? Thanks to all.