Anyone else''s SO nervous to talk to dad/parents?

[katica]

I know this is seen as kind of old-fashioned, but many guys still ask for dad''s blessing for the proposal and marriage. My SO has told me that he will do the same.

I know that the ring is in the works, or might be ready already (the other day he said he had good news but wouldn''t tell me what it was and this was about 1.5 weeks after he made the downpayment) so at least that''s taken care of. But he has not talked to my parents yet (or else EVERYONE is really good with keeping their mouths shut haha). I know he is kind of nervous about it but he has nothing to worry about. Yes my dad can be difficult and might give him a hard time for kicks but my dad loves him and they have a good relationship so my SO''s scaredycat syndrome is getting on my nerves.

I talked to my mom about it and in her opinion all my dad will say is that we''re adults and it''s up to us and that he''d be fine with it.

Is anyone else in this position? How have you dealt with it?

 

[tlh]

YES! My DH knew it was very very important to me that he ask. Well, my dad is a HUGE gossip. Nope, NOT MY MOM, MY DAD. DH knew my dad couldnt keep secrets but he didn''t know how bad. He asked perm the morning of... and I was kinda suspicious when I was calling my folks for something completely different and they were like... screening the calls! They didnt want to talk to me until after he did it. He did it that night and they were like... we know! I am like... WE know??? and my mom, my grandma, and MY AUNT, all went to dinner to celebrate, and here I was on speaker... the LAST to know. Well ... not the last. He didnt tell his folks, and when we called and told them they were stunned. They thought he''d call them first, but felt it is really only mine and his biz. HE WAS SOOO UPSET that my dad TOLD everyone! So... hint hint... if this is your family... have him ask that they keep it MUMS THE WORD to anyone not currently involved in the conversation.

DH said it was an awkward conversation. Of course he had the blessing, but it was just awkward.

But I think it is a good character builder! THIS IS EXCITING!

 

[NakedFinger]

Date: 2/5/2009 3:02:50 PM
Author: tlh
YES! My DH knew it was very very important to me that he ask. Well, my dad is a HUGE gossip. Nope, NOT MY MOM, MY DAD. DH knew my dad couldnt keep secrets but he didn''t know how bad. He asked perm the morning of... and I was kinda suspicious when I was calling my folks for something completely different and they were like... screening the calls! They didnt want to talk to me until after he did it. He did it that night and they were like... we know! I am like... WE know??? and my mom, my grandma, and MY AUNT, all went to dinner to celebrate, and here I was on speaker... the LAST to know. Well ... not the last. He didnt tell his folks, and when we called and told them they were stunned. They thought he''d call them first, but felt it is really only mine and his biz. HE WAS SOOO UPSET that my dad TOLD everyone! So... hint hint... if this is your family... have him ask that they keep it MUMS THE WORD to anyone not currently involved in the conversation.

DH said it was an awkward conversation. Of course he had the blessing, but it was just awkward.

But I think it is a good character builder! THIS IS EXCITING!

Haha i told my bf not to ask them BECAUSE of this

My dad isnt a gossip, but he just has word vomit all the time by accident. He doesnt do it on purpose, but is always the one to "spill the beans" or say something someone told him not to tell anyone. So i KNOW that if my SO asked him, he would tell my mom, and then my mom WOULD NOT be able to keep it in. While she insists she would never tell me and ruin it, I wouldnt even be able to talk/look at her if he had told her because I could sense it instantly in her face/voice that something was up. lol

 

[Winks_Elf]

My SO doesn''t have to seek my dad''s blessing, but my MOTHER''S!

My parents have been married for almost 47 years, and since this isn''t my first marriage, you''d think that I''d forego that whole thing. Nope! It''s important to me that my family approves of the match, but it''s more important that my mom AND my ex-MIL approve. I''m very close with my mother and my ex-MIL.

 

[katica]

Thanks for the input guys.

Tlh, that is hilarious!!
IN my case I told my mom that he will be coming around to their place at some point to get their blessing. I had been moaning and whining to her about my case of LIWitis but I still want a surprise so i told her please not to tell me when he comes. So I think I am safe I think my parents will keep it a secret.

I talked to SO about this again today because I was upset. He mentioned going for wings with a buddy tonight and I thought that time can be better spent chatting with my dad about marrying me of course so I was kind of pissed that he''s not jumping at the chance to go see them!! Anyways he tells me he''s nervous but he''ll get over it and get this ... "I''m preparing my speech" LOL soo cute lol
Hmmm but we were planning to get married September/October and this is not leaving me a lot of time!! So I am getting majorly mad at him at this point. He dragged his feet long enough to get to this point.. now the ring might be ready (I don''t know for sure) and now THIS??

 

[laughwithme]

In my case, I am stressed about it because my SO is very shy about these sort of things, and him and my dad don''t "hang out" regularly. I am really hoping that B isn''t so scared of the situation that it makes me wait even longer. It''s kinda funny, I talk to my dad a few times per week and I''m always looking to read "between the lines" to see if I think B''s already asked. For example, three weeks ago, my dad said at the end of our convo, "well, tell me if anything good happens this weekend." I was thinking HUH? But sure enough, it didn''t happen. I was probably turning nothing into something.

 

[emilina22]

we''re really traditional like that too, so the whole blessing thing was huge with us. I knew he was gonna ask for my parents blessing about a month or so before he proposed, ironically this was thanksgviing. so i knew what he was up to because he was all jittery and nervous after dinner. at one point he got up and went into the kitchen (where my mom was at) and he tried doing it...well didn''t work out so well, he ended up going back 3 times before he did what he wanted to do (my mom laughed and said of course she''d give us her blessing, and that he shouldn''t have been so nervous).

when it came to my dad, he was so nervous he waited until everyone was gone, and you could tell he was nervous cause he was walking around in circles in the living room, until he looked at me and just went for it...what made me nervous was that he was in my dads office with him for about an hour and a half!!! when M came out i was like "are you still alive" and hes like "oh yea the whole asking for your hand thing took 30 seconds...we were talking about other stuff"...

so your FF shouldn''t have anything to worry about...

 

[katica]

Update! So my parents are not as good at keeping secrets as I thought.. my mom told me today that when my SO and I were leaving their place on Sunday, my SO said to her "I''d like to come over sometime this week because we need to discuss something". And I KNOW he picked up the ring on Sunday. I can''t believe my mom told me! Then she says "He probably wants to surprise you". DUH!! Well then don''t tell me anything else lol I told her to keep the rest of it a secret from me because I really do want a surprise
Hopefully my dad won''t say anything to me either

 

[tlh]

YOUR MOM SUCKS AT KEEPING SECRETS... sorry, I know it''s your mommy.

Oh well.... THIS IS EXCITING!!! oooo I cannot wait to hear the story!!!!

 

[BlueSki231]

Date: 2/9/2009 8:57:43 PM
Author: tlh
YOUR MOM SUCKS AT KEEPING SECRETS... sorry, I know it''s your mommy.

Oh well.... THIS IS EXCITING!!! oooo I cannot wait to hear the story!!!!

haha yea really!
but congrats, this is great news!

 

[PrincessLily2009]

Ha...FF told me how freaked out he was about talking to my parents, but then I explained to him that I find the tradition offensive, and my parents aren''t expecting either of us to ask their permission.

 

[mariewest]

My SO has stated he would like to ask my Dad for permission, which I think it very endearing and thoughtful. He hasn''t asked yet though. My parents LOVE him and of course would say "yes!" I think he wants to take my Dad out for a few drinks and ask him. I''m hoping that he does it soon. I''m not nervous about it, and I think he''s only a little nervous about it, and I don''t think my parents are expecting him to do it.

 

[katica]

Thanks for the congrats!! I have even more great news! I guess he was so excited he couldn''t wait to show me what he got me so he showed me the certificate which has a picture of the ring!! It''s a princess cut halo center stone is .72 ct, F, Excellent cut, VS2 and there are 40 smaller diamonds colour F&G total carat weight is 1.02. He CLAIMS he doesn''t have the actual ring but would they give him the certificate without the ring?