Wedding Anyone else losing steam?

[zoebartlett]

I don''t want to do anymore planning. I can''t picture the reception coming together and I don''t want to worry about it, and I STILL haven''t put our engagement photo and announcement in the papers. Oh, there''s lots of stuff to do that I know I have plenty of time for but I honestly don''t want to do any of it. Is anyone else feeling the same way? I did, however, make an appt. for my first fitting for the day before Thanksgiving. I''m not picking up the dress for good (or taking it to get alterations done) until after the holidays. It was shipped to the shop a couple of months early so they''re holding onto it through the holidays for me.

I''d love just to show up and have everything done for me but that''s not happenin''. MAybe once I get into the swing of things again (such as planning what the invitations will look like), I''ll feel more into it.

Anyone else feeling this way? I should mention that I have no reason to feel this way. So far, it''s been pretty drama-free and things have gone well. I''m not really complaining per se but I''m not as enthusiastic as I think I should be.

 

[happilyeverafter]

yup zoe i''m right there with ya, and mine is just a small event. I can''t even imagine planning a bigger one! I actually tried to convince FI about a month ago to ditch the whole idea and get married when we go on our planned "honeymoon" instead, but in the end we decided to go ahead with what we''ve been planning.

Hang in there, all your hard work and planning will pay off on the big day. Why don''t you take a week off from planning if you can? Don''t do one wedding-related task - and maybe it''ll revive you again?

 

[Pandora II]

Zoe, your wedding is 2 weeks before mine and I have had so many periods of ''time off'' already.

I find I get too obsessed on details and can''t see the bigger picture or have any perspective anymore. Then I take a week or so off and come back to it.

I have been making a scrapbook of general things I like over this year - pics from various magazines not just bridal, bits of coloured paper etc and that really helped to focus my ideas on the overall look.

I have my first meeting with my dress designer on the 17th or 18th November, so you are waaaay ahead of me there.

Trust me, a bit of time away from the ''W'' word and you will feel much more enthusiastic.

 

[zoebartlett]

Hi Happilyeverafter and Pandora! I''ve taken off a lot of time already, and I do have the big things booked. So I know I have plenty of time to do things at a leisurely pace. The only thing is that when I do get into planning (even minor things), I have a hard time seeing everything come together. That doesn''t excite me. So maybe I worded my previous post wrong. Doing individual tasks hasn''t been hard. I enjoyed meeting our florist and coming up with ideas. I had fun shopping for my sister''s MOH dress. I will really like doing our tasting in the winter, and planning the BBQ menu for the RD dinner will be fun. So all of the individual *things* have been fine, but seeing them come together is hard. I guess I just need to believe that in the end, things will tie in together nicely. I have absolutely no experience in planning big parties or anything, so maybe that''s why I sometimes feel uneasy. Mostly though, things have been going well. So far, other than the first week or two when I felt as though I had to do everything right away, I''ve done one thing and then waited for a while to do another.

Next steps: putting our engagement announcement in the paper and deciding where to get my FI''s wedding band.

Pandora, I can''t wait to see your dress! Your design ideas sound fabulous!!

 

[Pandora II]

Is it fear that some things won''t be ready in time - kind of like cooking a roast dinner and wondering if the potatoes will be ready at the same time as the meat?

Or is it worrying that the flowers will be great on their own, but won''t go with the dress, or the venue, and that everything will look a bit bitty and uncoordinated?

If it''s the former - relax, it always comes together eventually. (Trust me, I run a couple of huge events every year - there''s always a few sleepless nights but you always get there in the end!)

If it''s the latter...

Why don''t you do a thread with all your ideas so far?

Like a venue post, followed by a flowers post, followed by a dress post etc etc all in the same thread.

You have hundreds of people here who are all happy to lend a hand and give ideas.


I can''t wait to see my dress either - Mary and I are going to put our heads together over the design. I''ve reached a point where I need fresh inspiration into, so hopefully we will finalise most of it at that meeting. The bodice bit is sorted, but I''m umming over the sleeves and how the fabric in the skirt falls - I don''t want it too meringuey and I also don''t want to completely lose the tudor look. Above all, I don''t want to look like I''ve escaped from the Elizabeth film set!

 

[Independent Gal]

Uhm YES! I am so SICK of planning and fussing. I''m actually kind of in need of a vent at the moment.

Apparently, my dad told my FSIL when he was visiting her and my FMIL & FFIL that he would throw her a birthday party three days after our wedding. Now, after two weddings, and countless family dramas I am going to want to LEAVE and go on our honeymoon, not hang around for a few more days in the midst of all the probable tensions, paying $100''s for a hotel in my hometown (which will have to come out of the honeymoon budget) or else sleeping in my dad''s basement as newlyweds (FUN!), just so we can celebrate FSIL''s birthday. Not to mention I already booked my non-refundable ticket, and nobody bothered to tell me about this, so I''ll have to figure out if I can pay a change fee or something.

I suggested having the party a day or two before her birthday so we can go on our honeymoon, but she apparently wants to have it ON her birthday. I guess I get that.

I don''t know, am I being a b!t@h here? Maybe I am.

Geeez. Sorry for venting in your thread, but I just feel like I am so ready for this wedding to be over. I''m starting to wish we''d just eloped. No crazy Aunt F, no siblings feeling awkward, no drug-dealer boyfriends, no post-wedding birthday bashes, when all I will want to do is collapse.

Oh well, I''ve got myself into it now.

 

[Pandora II]

I would just leave a gift and a nice card and say I was so sorry I couldn''t make it.

That is outrageous

I hope you had words with your father.

Just to make sure I''m getting this straight (your family is quite complicated):

Your father offered to throw a party for your FI''s sister?

That just seems weird to me...

Your honeymoon comes first. It''s only a birthday FGS.

 

[Independent Gal]

Thanks Pandora. Yes, you have it right. It's FI's sister. My dad was on business in their country and stopped over to meet them all. That's when he made the offer. I guess he thought it was a nice, welcoming gesture, since they will be visiting my country for the wedding P2. But uh, he could have consulted me first.

It's weird that I just can't tell sometimes if I'm being unreasonable about wedding stuff. Like me telling dad that the drug-dealer boyfriend was not welcome at the wedding. I had dinner with a friend from out of town last nigth and ran it by him and he basically said 'Are you NUTS? You have to ask?'

I haven't talked to my dad about the birthday party thing yet, but I'm going to.

 

[Pandora II]

I would stand over my father while he called to explain that it would not be possible anymore - unless he wanted me to elope and send him a postcard!

I would never dream of celebrating my birthday in a big way over my brother''s wedding weekend.

You have 3 choices:

a) the birthday gets cancelled

b) it gets moved to to before the rehearsal dinner date

c) you and FI are not present.

Your FI should call his parents and explain that this weekend is about him and his new wife, and accepting this offer is inappropriate.

150% if the date remains as is, I would not be there and I wouldn''t feel the slightest bit guilty.

 

[zoebartlett]

Thanks for your suggestions! I may start a new thread with the things I''ve done so far. Seeing everything in one place may help.

Indy, I''d definitely talk to your dad. If it had happened to me, I''d have just told my dad that I wouldn''t be able to attend because I''d be on my honeymoon. I''d give a nice card and/or gift to my FSIL and let it go at that. I wouldn''t change my plans. Your SIL will celebrate many more birthdays but you''ll only have one honeymoon. I''m still getting over the thought that your DAD wants to throw your FSIL a birthday party. It''s a nice gesture, but wouldn''t it one that would typically come from her OWN parents?

 

[Independent Gal]

Yes, that would be more normal (that her folks would throw the party). I think what my dad was thinking was that because they would be abroad and guests in our country, that he would host it. But yeah, it is a little weird I guess.

 

[anchor31]

I definitely have ups and downs too, which is probably why I always get a bunch of things done within a week and then do nothing for a few weeks.

 

[basil]

Yeah, me too.

I''m pretty good at picking things out...at this point we have most of our vendors booked. I''m a researcher by nature - I like reading reviews and looking at websites and finding out what will be the best fit for us, so that part was relatively fun.

But now the stuff that needs to get done is the creative stuff, and I have a major case of a sort of "writers'' block" or whatever you want to call it. We took photos for our save-the-date, but I can''t seem to want to work on doing the finishing on them. My mom wants to design the invitations, make the tablecloth overlays, make me a sash and a purse and bead my shoes. But she can''t/won''t start any of this without me telling her what I want, and I just don''t have any vision right now.

I have the same fears as you, Zoe, about the reception just not coming together. I''m terrible at visualizing things. Plus, there are so many different elements that I like, I feel like they all might clash and look terrible.

My biggest stressor is that I really need to order my dress, but I can''t figure out this drama about the measurements, so I''m paralyzed.

 

[Independent Gal]

Zoeeeee, so sorry I jacked your thread!

And just to say, I also am scared that the receptions won''t come together. It sounds like you''re largely on track though, sweety!

 

[zoebartlett]

Indy,

Feel free to vent away!

 

[Pandora II]

Okay, basil and zoe...

I want to see ideas thread!

I love looking through the ones where people post all their different ideas together. It''s really helpful for both sides I think. You get to see your overall look that you are heading for and we all get to steal your ideas!

Sooo...

Venue
Ceremony
Dress
Flowers
Centrepieces
BM''s
Favours
etc

Pics of all - or just ideas that you are mulling, or where you want people to throw you ideas.

Can you guess - I''m a bossy cow!

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 11/4/2007 3:43:10 PM
Author: Pandora II
Okay, basil and zoe...

I want to see ideas thread!

I love looking through the ones where people post all their different ideas together. It''s really helpful for both sides I think. You get to see your overall look that you are heading for and we all get to steal your ideas!

Sooo...

Venue
Ceremony
Dress
Flowers
Centrepieces
BM''s
Favours
etc

Pics of all - or just ideas that you are mulling, or where you want people to throw you ideas.

Can you guess - I''m a bossy cow!

Yes, Ma''am!!! I''ll work on it after dinner and I''ll get back to you.

 

[SuLi]

I totally understand and I''m not even having a "wedding" per se. My fiance and I are essentially eloping in Hawaii. We set the date as sometime next October, and we haven''t gotten around to doing anything yet! Yikes! We''ve planned on researching which island we''d like to spend time on and looking over resort wedding packages. To be honest, all I do is research ALL DAY LONG, and the last thing I want to think about when I get home is doing more research on the computer. And, I think dress and wedding band shopping had put me in a bad mood (don''t know which dress I want, and can''t get the jeweler to respond to us on our wedding bands).

 

[ktkakes]

i went thru a couple of months myself where i didnt want to plan anything! now with less than 5 months to go. i have had a couple of breakdowns as well where i just wish i eloped lol..... i think we have all been there so this is nice to be on this thread with other people going thru the same things

this thread is my saninty!