anyone else have this situation?

[partgypsy]

Well I have gotten new earrings and am thrilled with them, but I find myself reticient to mention them to friends and coworkers. My husband and I are not rich by any stretch, but I am trying over the long term to set things up so we will own our house, have money for retirement, etc. Part of the situation is that a number of people I know are in slightly different financial situations; large school debts, working at jobs that they find satisfying but don''t pay alot, or have large homes with equally large mortgages (and so no spare spending money). We decided t get a smaller home and my husband fixed it up so we have a low mortgage for the amount of house we have, no school debts, etc.
We had some people over on Saturday, and people started talking about how (because of being house poor) they didn''t buy anything for their respective spouses for christmas. My husband and I looked at each other and didn''t say anything. After the evening ended I mentioned it to my husband and he agreed with me that they wouldn''t understand, and to wear and enjoy my earrings but not bring it up. I guess I have the feeling that if I do bring them up they will either a) think I''m bragging or b) being irresponsible with our money.

Does this ever happen to anyone? I don''t know if I''m making any sense. Since I''ve got my earrings I''ve only shared them with one friend/coworker who knows my interests and is practically independently wealthy whom I knew would be excited for me.

 

[scarleta]

PG: I am usually very happy if anyone I know gets something they really like.( even if I could never buy it on our budget)It makes no difference to me what they paid for it.What is important to me is the fact that they like it and were able to buy it.I can never understand why anyone would not be happy?? So I would just go ahead and enjoy your earings its your choice, your money.I don''t see why you would want to talk about your earings unless they bring it up?

 

[Haven]

I don''t think you should allow other people''s financial CHOICES dictate how and where you enjoy your new earrings. If they choose to judge your choice to purchase those earrings, so be it, but you know that you''re being responsible and most importantly, you are comfortable with your decision to purchase them in the first place.

I find myself in a similar situation--I lived at home for a while after college, I save everything I can and live quite frugally, but I do splurge on things that I value. People have made comments in the past about particular items that I own, but frankly it''s none of their business. If it makes them feel better about their own choices to believe that I''m in debt up to my eyeballs, so be it. I know how my checkbook balances at the end of the day, and I''m proud of the things I value enough to own.

Enjoy those earrings, and did I miss a thread about them?

 

[AGBF]

Date: 1/7/2008 3:50:13 PM
Author: scarleta
PG: I am usually very happy if anyone I know gets something they really like.( even if I could never buy it on our budget)It makes no difference to me what they paid for it.What is important to me is the fact that they like it and were able to buy it.I can never understand why anyone would not be happy?? So I would just go ahead and enjoy your earings its your choice, your money.I don''t see why you would want to talk about your earings unless they bring it up?

I may be on the wrong track, scarleta, but I was thinking that PG meant she would like to be able to talk to this friend (and others) about something exciting to her (a new present), but felt uncomfortable. I know that sharing all sorts of things with my women friends is part of the intimacy of being a woman with other women. Men don''t talk about their presents or tell each other at length how Christmas Day with the in-laws went...but you do want to do that with your girlfriends, you know? You also lie on the bed with them. Guys don''t do that with each other, either.

Deb

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Hi,

Your situation is the same as mine. I've had to debate about whether or not to wear my diamond jewelry around friends & family and finally did cave and wear my earrings a few times and received mixed reactions (one person gave me a dirty look and the another complimented me!) lol I decided to minimize my items and just wear the same earrings and a simple pendant every time, so it just looks like I have one set of diamonds to wear, which may offend others less.

Congrats to you on your diamond earrings.

 

[D2B]

I think I understand. I too got excited about my first real diamond purchase and am now in the process of getting studs. We have saved up for this and it is a considered decision, I am usually very sensible, and this is a bit of a frivolous decision, however diamonds are forever (literally) and I will wear my studs and ring hopefully until a ripe old age.

I guess I feel funny wanting to share the excitement with friends, when for one diamonds are not worn much in the UK (not to the extent they are in the US), and two, it is seen as so extravagent.

I am not too sure what I am trying to say

, maybey I feel a bit guilty for spending the money on diamonds and myself, when there are lots of other things we could be buying, however I also know that we have saved the money. Sorry, not really making as much sense as I was hoping

D2B

 

[scarleta]

PG said:

"I guess I have the feeling that if I do bring them up they will either a) think I''m bragging or b) being irresponsible with our money."
Thanks Deb for explaining good point here re: beeing able to talk to friends sharing good news re purchases etc.
I would do the same.However I based my reply solely on what PG said they would feel : point a and b.
That is why I said not to bring it up with them.
Thanks Deb you are on the right track totally, just taking PG circumstances and the way she feels about it I would not bring it up just enjoy...

 

[Fly Girl]

I don''t talk about my jewelry with friends or coworkers. I just wear it and enjoy it. That is what is so great about PS. Here you can show off your diamonds to people who do understand.

 

[partgypsy]

D2B no you make perfect sense, that''s how I feel. The money was in the bank for it, but I guess I do feel a little guilt towards again what some people may see as a frivolous purchase, but something I''ve been thinking about for a couple years. My husband made a good point that alot of women spend probably just as much in a given year on themselves, but on lots of smaller items or on "maintenence" and no one notices, or it is more acceptable. I''m glad I''ve suffienctly brainwashed my husband

Yes I think it is fun to talk to the girls about shopping, I wish this was in the same arena as shoes and clothes but doesn''t seem to be.

I too am glad there is a pricescope to share these things with! As this was my big blowout I will spend the rest of the year on the forum admiring other people''s pretties.