Anyone else feel WAY too affected by their dreams?

[musey]

I have very vivid dreams. VERY vivid. And they're usually extremely realistic--they'll start out exactly where I am in life, and move from there in a reasonably realistic progression of events (as in, nothing happens that couldn't actually happen in real life).

The result is that I'll often wake up having experienced that dream as reality, for all intents and purposes. It takes AWHILE (sometimes a full day or more) to shake the feeling that it all actually happened.

Lately, I've been having recurring (well, not recurring, they're different every time, but with basically the same people and types of events) dreams that have been really getting to me. They alter my idea of reality enough that they start affecting my daily life. Even though I know that the experience wasn't real, it really sticks in the back of my mind and make me think think think. Today's been a rough day because of that.


Anyway, just wondering, does anyone else have this kind of powerful dream life? What's the deal? Any way I can tone them down?

 

[fieryred33143]

My dreams are also usually very vivid and I take a lot of time analyzing them. There have also been plenty of nights when FI will stay awake because I''ll be crying out loud from my dreams.

I believe in the power of dreaming which is why I try to analyze them *but* I also know that a lot of the dreams are a result of stress/disappointment/excitement, etc. When I''m feeling really stressed out I try to do something really relaxing before bed like a nice bubble bath or have a warm cup of tea (sometimes at the same time). I like to light chamomile candles too (although FI doesn''t like them very much).

Funny note: I had a dream with my dad on Thursday night that has been on my mind. I usually have a dream with him on the holidays because that''s when I miss him the most and I know that part of the dream has to do with me wondering how he would feel knowing I''m preggo and not married. But there was another part of the dream that is really, really bothering me. I usually talk to my mom about it because she''s really good at analyzing dreams but I''m trying to do this one alone.

Anyway, my suggestions of the bubble bath/relaxation time are pretty simple but worth trying.

 

[musey]

Date: 12/1/2008 1:52:29 PM
Author: fieryred33143
Anyway, my suggestions of the bubble bath/relaxation time are pretty simple but worth trying.

I should try it out. My dreams aren''t usually stressful or upsetting... until I wake up. If that makes any sense. Probably not.

 

[Octavia]

I don't often remember my dreams, so if I do it's because it was extraordinarily vivid and realistic. And they absolutely do affect my real life -- I remember one particular dream that made me angry with a friend of mine for several days, even though he hadn't done anything in real life. But his actions in my dream really PO'd me, and I think it was because it fit with his personality. I couldn't shake it off as just a dream because I do think he's capable of misbehaving that way even if it's not something he'd probably do. Maybe that's the part of dreams that affects me most, is that they make you think about people in terms of their abstract capabilities and not only in terms of everyday interactions -- and not everyone is quite so wonderful in the abstract.

I don't know how to fix it, but I definitely sympathize with having long-lasting effects from dreams. Luckily, I don't think any of my relationships have ever been changed overall from dreams I've had, but I'm pretty sure people have occasionally wondered why I was acting wierdly toward them, and it was because I hadn't shaken an odd dream about them off yet.

 

[musey]

Date: 12/1/2008 2:44:41 PM
Author: Octavia
Maybe that''s the part of dreams that affects me most, is that they make you think about people in terms of their abstract capabilities and not only in terms of everyday interactions -- and not everyone is quite so wonderful in the abstract.

I''m really with you on this one. I have many dreams in which my husband acts outrageously jealous (he never has before, not the least bit jealous, really) that don''t affect me too strongly, but I''ll have other dreams in which he acts very cold and dismissive toward our relationship, which he had done early in our relationship, when he thought I was going to break up with him. THAT really gets to me.

 

[Miranda]

Oh yes, I can totally sympathize. I have frequent BAD dreams. I wonder if it is genetic. DS has really bad dreams, too. I don''t know of anything that can be done about them.

 

[somethingshiny]

I have extremely vivid dreams, too. I''ve actually woken up DH to yell at him! Sometimes I have to ask other people if such and such happened and they think I''m nuts. A lot of my dreams are completely crazy and I still have to take time to analyze them. The only sure fire way to deter my dreams is to read before bed. Then, my mind usually grabs what I''ve read about and goes in that direction.

If you like to write, that could help. Before bed, write out your day (or at least any major events), then in the AM if you''re not sure if something happened, look in your journal.

btw- now DH must be having vivid dreams. He tried telling me he used to jog!! (so funny!)

 

[diamondsrock]

I have very vivid dreams as well, and don''t remember them all the time, but often enough. Sometimes they are so real, that when I try to remember events in the past, I''m not sure if I dreamt it or if it really happened! Which really bugs me a lot.

Also, I have had lucid dreaming which is where you are aware in your dream that you are dreaming and can kind of change the direction of the dream. It is really cool and a way to take control of your dreams. I''m not sure how you go about learning this (you could google it), but it is a skill I think. I don''t lucid dream very often, but when I do, it''s awesome. I''ll be like, what the heck, I may as well do this since I''m dreaming anyways, and the dream always becomes more interesting.

There are a ton of books out there on dreaming. I actually took a college class on dream interpretation. Lots of info. out there. You''re not alone though in regards to your issues with dreams.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Sometimes I dream about a fight between DH and I and wake up angry at him...poor guy. Haha. Takes me a few minutes to realize the fight never happened. Wonder what that means. Sometimes I am not myself in dreams. I used to always have those stressful dreams where something was wrong with me (I was being chased but couldn''t run. Or I couldn''t talk. Or I couldn''t see).

 

[Elmorton]

Add me to the vivid dream club. Most of the time they don''t bother me (except that I cannot stand to have someone try to wake me and I hate waking up exhausted from dreaming), but if I have an angry dream, I can''t shake the feeling of being angry pretty much the entire day. I also have dreams about people that I haven''t seen in aaaages, so sometimes, I''ll see that person again and I won''t be able to figure out why I feel kinda standoffish.

 

[Maisie]

I used to have disturbing dreams where my husband was cheating on me. It drove me mad. I would cry when I woke up and get really upset with him. I am now taking anxiety medicine (for my panic attacks) and those dreams have stopped... but now I have the most vivid dreams that I can actually remember everything about them when I wake up. They aren't scary or disturbing, just a bit weird sometimes.

I try not to worry about them. I would be more concerned if they scared me or stopped me going to sleep.

 

[mimzy]

yeees.

i''ve had a reoccurring dream for about two years that involves an ex (nothing ''bad'', FI knows about them) and they are always the most realistic dreams and i always wake up very shaken. the only time they change is when they''ve followed the progression of real life (telling him about moving, getting engaged, etc). I''ll perseverate on it for awhile (usually a day and a half or so, maybe less if something big is going on) and i''ve found that it has really affected the way that i look at the situation. he''s been MIA for about a year (deleted most of his facebook, emails are bounced back, phone always goes straight to voicemail, friend''s don''t know where he is, etc) and because of what happens in my dreams i''ve worked up the worst case scenerio in my head and i feel awful every time i think about him, even though i don''t necessarily have proof that he''s that bad off. after the dreams i''m constantly on edge that i''m going to run into him (even though i have no idea where he''s living) and that the dreams is going to play itself (which would be, well, horrible).

i have no ideas on how to tone them down

what i do is immediately try to picture him super happy and getting on with his life productively and tell myself the dreams are unfounded, but i''m not sure how that translates for your situation (probably not all that well haha).

anyways, i hope you find some relief soon

 

[Skippy123]

I have super vivid dreams and usually when I am super exhausted. I just ignore them but some are awful. I still remember many I had when I was a kids. I always wondered if they had meaning, now I don''t though. I don''t have recurring dreams now; I did when I was young and they were super scary because these bears would chase me (sounds funny typing it out but I could barely escape in each of my dreams). Do you think if you write your dreams down it might help? I am sorry; I feel for you especially recurring scary ones!!!

 

[musey]

Thank you all for commiserating. I was sure I wasn't alone, so I'm glad you all shared

My husband and I got into a big hypothetical discussion about this, spurred on by a History Channel (I think) special on parallel universes. We have this fun theory that when I have these very realistic dreams, I'm actually experiencing consciousness in a parallel self.

Out-of-body experiences and the like. He doesn't have realistic dreams, and he always feels detached, "watching" vs. my very real "experiencing."

Science fiction at this point, but it helps to talk about it in that way, somehow it lightens the load. Gives it a different slant--fun academic theorizing vs. my mind trying to send me a message.

 

[Octavia]

Hehe, Musey, FI and I saw that program too. It was pretty interesting, especially given the fact that when they were talking about invisible dinosaurs roaming around our living rooms, our cat was intently stalking something nonexistant and making wild eyes and gestures at the air. I asked him if he was chasing the dinosaurs but he just ignored me (as cats are wont to do)

Your conversation sounds interesting, though. Too often for comfort, I have really intense deja vous from my dreams, and I can usually pinpoint exactly when I dreamed about the thing that ends up happening. So maybe the parallel universe thing isn''t completely science fiction after all...

 

[musey]

Your kitty is on to something! A lot of the "research" (a term I use loosely in that area) on life-after-death claims that animals can see/sense "spirits" as well.

I'm generally a skeptic, but with a very open mind... I really enjoy discussing and theorizing in areas that would currently be classified as "science fiction" (though who knows how research in years to come will reclassify those areas of study). I'm not about to claim that I have parallel-self experiences while I sleep at night, but I won't discount it from theorizing, either!!

 

[diamondsrock]

I saw bits of that show as well, but they confirmed what I already believe. I think there are parallel universes and there is so much more around us that we just can't see. Spirits, elves, fairies, you name it. Just because we can't see something doesn't mean to me that it doesn't possibly exist.
Did you know the majority of people in Iceland believe in elves and the government has actually constructed their highways around places where elves are believe to dwell so as to not upset them? Also when a company was building a major shopping mall, they were careful not to build it in elf territory. Apparently if you upset their dwellings they can cause havoc on the workcrew. I saw a show on that and I thought that was fascinating.

 

[musey]

Have you guys seen Flatland? Or read the book? FASCINATING stuff...

It talks about how if we lived in "flatland", where there were only 2 perceivable dimensions, we would think a third dimension was absolutely ludicrous. As people who live in a three-dimensional world, that sounds silly (though true). By the same token, since we do base our perceptions on the fact (theory) that our world exists in three dimensions, the idea (to us) of additional dimensions is difficult to grasp. But to a person who lives in a world where there are 4, 7, 16 dimensions... that is just "how it is."

Additional dimensions (and by the same token, parallel universes) are therefore imperceptible to us not because they don''t exist, but because they''re outside the realm of our comprehension.

 

[allycat0303]

Oh my gosh. WAY too much. I remember ALL my dreams. Some of them, as they are happening, I KNOW they are dreams, so I usually enjoy those. But the others....make total sense, and they are really realistic. And they usually involve my fiance doing something bad, so I wake up annoyed at him. The worst part is he very rarely remembers his dreams, so he doesn''t get my residual, non-merited annoyance.

Yesturday it was the spider in the bed *shudders* a small spider, but a spider none the less.

 

[iheartscience]

YES! Not every night, but many nights, I''ll have kind of crazy but still realistic dreams. Sometimes I''ll still think about them several days later...like something that happened in my dream will pop into my mind but it will take a second to remember it was a dream.

They don''t usually disturb me that much, though. Every now and then I''ll have a really terrible dream/nightmare that will haunt me for a while and really get to me, but luckily that doesn''t happen too often. I guess I don''t really have any advice but I do have crazy vivid dreams!

 

[akmiss]

Date: 12/3/2008 12:10:40 PM
Author: Skippy123
I have super vivid dreams and usually when I am super exhausted. I just ignore them but some are awful. I still remember many I had when I was a kids. I always wondered if they had meaning, now I don''t though. I don''t have recurring dreams now; I did when I was young and they were super scary because these bears would chase me (sounds funny typing it out but I could barely escape in each of my dreams). Do you think if you write your dreams down it might help? I am sorry; I feel for you especially recurring scary ones!!!

It think this is the best advice. I had the same problem when I was young. If you give these dreams more attention then they deserve then the dreams will continue. But you really don''t want the dreams to consume your waking hours also. Think about a dream for only a few moments after waking and then shake it off. Good Luck