Anyone dread the wedding dress shopping?

[allycat0303]

This is on my mind lately. I went once last year, and didn`t have an opportunity to go again (been busy) I basically tried on 2 dresses, and got annoyed.

Now I have gained 10 pounds...and now I don`t want to go dress shopping. I am determined to lose weight before going shopping because I don`t want to order it too small *thinking I will lose weight* and then not get into it by the wedding.

And then there is my fiancé. He has some definite preferences concerning my dress: We wants it to be a mermaid/trumpet shape. Except I REALLY hate my behind. I find it`s my worst feature, but he is really not attracted to A-line shape and ballgown.

Right now I am 10 months for the wedding, but if we are being optimistic, I will need 1.5-2 months to lose ten pounds. So down to 8 months. And should I actually listen to what fiancé wants to see me in? It kinda stresses me out.

So fess up ladies, anyone kind of apprehenisve about dress shopping? Or kind of procrastinating?

 

[bee*]

I''m the exact same. I want to lose weight before I go also and I have the same length as time to go as you do. I''ve already lost over a stone but I want to lose more before I go dress shopping. I''m also looking for a trumpet/mermaid style dress too so I want my ass to be in tip-top condition! I''m going to leave it until the end of October to start shopping.
In terms of listening to what your Fi thinks-D thinks the same as your fI, so I would like to get a dress that D loves but if I see an a-line one that I love more than all the others, I''ll go with that. I''m sure he''ll love whatever you pick anyway on your wedding day.

 

[CNOS128]

I hear you about wanting to lose a few pounds before you try on dresses, but remember that they can and should alter the dress to fit you, so going down a size or 2 shouldn''t be a problem.
For me, it was trying on and buying the dress that started to make the whole ''getting married'' thing seem real. Everything about the experience was so much fun!

And, no - I don''t think you should listen to your fiance about what he wants. You should get what looks good on your body. Even the most amazing mermaid gown looks terrible on the wrong body. Get something that flatters your shape and makes you feel comfortable and confident.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I was definitely dreading it when I first went. While I was only a street size 12, I wasn''t feeling good about myself at all, and it was hard trying on dresses because none of the samples fit me properly. If one of the samples DID fit me, I''d get all excited, but I could never tell if I was excited about the dress or the sample fitting me. I''ve dropped 2 sizes since I started looking and coincidentally I''m picking up the search again today and tomorrow. Hopefully my new size and shape will open up other options that I wasn''t comfortable with before...

 

[fieryred33143]

I have a lot of time before I need to go looking for dresses and I''m glad because I *refuse* to put on a wedding dress unless I lose at least 15lbs. I just won''t go through it.

You''re not alone

 

[Krissie]

I really hated it, especially when I was shopping in London. None of the stores I visited had a sample larger than a street size 4 US (and I''m an 8-10) -- nothing was coming remotely close to fitting, the salespeople rushed me, almost like they had given up on me - it was a crushing experience, and it didn''t have to be.

So when I found a dress that I thought fit alright, I ordered it. Of course, I had second thoughts and ended up with dress 2. The benefit, though, is that I really clicked with the store owner who sold me dress 2. I instantly felt better about myself.

I still have apprehensions (second fitting is Tuesday) but there''s no way in hell I''d try on wedding dresses again!

 

[galvana]

This is a tough one, I was excited about going to try on dresses, but I had a picture in my head of what I had been dying to try on since i was a little girl.
So being able to finally go try on my princess dress was a thrill for me! But the size thing on wedding gowns is crazy to me!

Now about your fiance only wanting you to wear a certain style......................thats tough too.
What style to YOU want to wear? do you want to wear Aline or ball gown? its your day and I think if you LOVE a style - then you should wear it.
If you really dont care and like what he likes then get that BUT if you love ALINE or ballgown then you should go with what you love.

Losing weight is tough, we all struggle with it daily (i think we all do anyway) i know i do.

 

[mjso]

Ugh, I am right there with you. There are a multitude of reasons why I am absolutely dreading going wedding dress shopping such as:

1) I am a street size 10-12 (more like a 12 recently since I haven''t been going to the gym as much as I should). In high school I was a 0-2. After college, 4 years ago (which sounds like a lot, but seems like yesterday to me), before I moved to LA, I was a 4-6. Basically, my mom is like "you are going to lose weight before the wedding, right?". Thanks mom, I know I''ve gained weight, I don''t need a reminder. Clearly I want to look my best on my wedding day.

2) I live in LA. I feel like when I go to the bridal salons they are going to be all weird and like "umm, we don''t have anything to fit you...go get some liposuction". Of course there are people in LA who aren''t picture perfect, but there are A LOT of models, actresses, singers and also a lot of asian women who tend to be a lot smaller than I am! I know I am going to be depressed when I "try" on dresses and they don''t close and I can''t tell WTH they would actually look like on me. And I don''t want to deal with "consultants" that are going to make me feel fat and gross.

3) The more I look at wedding sites/wedding pictures/wedding stuff in general, the more I get this idea in my head that the only people that get married are a size 2 and gorgeous. Seriously, every wedding photo I feel like I see is of this cute little tiny picture perfect bride and I''m like...great, my photographer is going to be all "I can''t take pictures of you, you are waaaay too big to be getting married."

4) I also want a mermaid style dress. Which I actually think looks fine on me now. I went to Davids Bridal in February with my MOH on a secret dress shopping trip. I was back home to start wedding stuff and we wanted to go try on things, but my mom was all "well you need to lose weight first". So we went secretly without telling her. I tried on a mermaid dress and I thought it looked great. So, I''m less concerned that the style won''t look good, than I am concerned that I just will look fat no matter what. My FI doesn''t like princess-y pouffy dresses and I''ve wanted a mermaid style for years. Our inspiration is the dress from the comic book cover of Spiderman''s wedding. Which bring up a semi-related point that I''m slightly annoyed that mermaid dresses are all the rage now. I mean it is great because I get to have a much larger selection, but then its bad because I don''t want my dress to seem "trendy" and "soooo 2009" when its the style I''ve wanted since...ooooh, 2002 when they weren''t really popular.

5) I''m not really girly and I NEVER wear dresses, so its weird enough for me to have to get hair and makeup done and all that jazz, let alone wear some elegant piece of clothing that I won''t be used to at all.

So basically, I have to go looking at dresses soon. My wedding is May, 2009, so in theory I should order by December. My MOH is coming to visit in 1 month. I guess I should buckle down and try to lose as much as possible in the next month and then go shopping and keep it off. I also DO NOT want to buy a dress that is too small with the idea of "oh I''ll fit into it" because I just don''t see that working for me.

Maybe I''ll just medicate myself before I go and then the stress will be gone

 

[MaggieB]

I definitely did not look forward to shopping for a dress. I went to a few places locally, tried on a few dresses that I looked horrible in, and then just said forget it. (I''ll tell you what I look horrible in - straight-across strapless dresses with poofy skirts! I look like a chubby little boy in them

By a fluke, I ended up going to a place in Clearwater, FL (fiance''s family lives there) that is a true boutique place - meaning you can''t walk around and look at dresses to try on. You have a conversation with a consultant and she brings you dresses. Now - I am an admitted total control freak. Had I known in advance that I wasn''t going to be able to tell her which specific dress to bring me, I would have never gone. (Let me sidetrack for a sec - if you wanted a particular dress and knew the dress - like the Pronovias Nacar or whatever, they would bring that one to you. I mean that the dresses are not for you to view on racks.) Anyway - because of her experience, she really was able to understand the look that I was going for and was able to bring me the dresses that she knew would flatter my body type the best. And the dresses that she brought me looked SO MUCH better on me than the ones that I picked for myself. Some dresses are just cut much better to flatter a non-size 2 bodies than others.

So my advice is, be flexible, try on a bunch of different things, and you WILL look good in some of them. Don''t try to fit yourself into a cookie cutter image of what you or your fiance thinks that the bride should look like. Once I found my dress, I found it a lot easier to lose weight because I wasn''t so down and depressed about it. I knew that I had a dress that I would look good in no matter what, and so now I just exercise so that I will look even better in it.

 

[urseberry]

My husband was unhappy with the verbal description of my dress and thought it didn't sound appropriate for our wedding. I told him he didn't have a say in my dress since he didn't want to see it beforehand, and the dress had already been purchased and couldn't be returned. He was blown away on our wedding day when he finally saw the dress, and told me he loved it. My advice: you know best what looks good on your frame. Don't worry about your fiance's preference for mermaid over a-line. Pick a dress that you love, and he will love how you look in it.

 

[marchswallowbird]

I had an absolute ball looking for and trying on dresses. I also live in L.A., and didn't feel attitude from anyone in the shops. If I had, I would never have gone back there or ordered a dress from that shop. They are there to "serve" me, the client!! I am the star.

I loved the attention of the sales associates in the shops I did go to, and I loved looking and feeling special each time I came out of the dressing room to look in the mirror. I tried on all sorts of different shapes and styles, even those I was certain would look horrible on me. Many looked beautiful. And some that I was in love with on the hangar ended up looking horrible on me. Next!

I'm a bit sorry it's over and I've found my dress already, in part because it was a fun thing that my best friend and I (who have trouble getting together because of insane schedules) could do together and have "girly day."

I had no preconceived notions about what I wanted. Fiance thinks I look good in everything, so his only preference was that it be a long dress. I was just looking for something not too expensive that was flattering on my body. I, too, would like to be about 15 pounds lighter than I am, but I found and bought a dress that fits me at my current weight, because I don't know whether or not I'm going to lose. I figure it's much easier to take the dress in during alterations. There were many beautiful styles that knew I could never pull off because of figure flaws; I just chose other styles that were more suited to my body type.

 

[pjean]

Date: 8/28/2008 11:07:42 AM
Author: mjso
... we wanted to go try on things, but my mom was all 'well you need to lose weight first'.

Your mom said WHAT????

Not cool, mjso's mom. Not cool at all. Also not true - there is no international fabric shortage that dictates a maximum size for wedding dresses. Plus, if you buy your dress when you're at your largest, you'll be sure it will fit for the day, since taking a dress in is a lot easier than letting it out.

WHAT is with the conspiracy to make everyone feel like they're too fat to deserve a beautiful dress?

As for the FI's opinion on what to wear, my FI explains it thusly: your FI thinks you're hot. He thinks mermaid dresses are hot. Therefore you should wear a mermaid dress. Also, I would bet that while you don't like your butt, your FI doesn't feel that way.

So I might take it as an ego boost and then buy something that makes you feel confident and beautiful.

 

[MaggieB]

Date: 8/28/2008 12:45:01 PM
Author: pjean

Date: 8/28/2008 11:07:42 AM
Author: mjso
... we wanted to go try on things, but my mom was all ''well you need to lose weight first''.

Your mom said WHAT????

Not cool, mjso''s mom. Not cool at all. Also not true - there is no international fabric shortage that dictates a maximum size for wedding dresses. Plus, if you buy your dress when you''re at your largest, you''ll be sure it will fit for the day, since taking a dress in is a lot easier than letting it out.

WHAT is with the conspiracy to make everyone feel like they''re too fat to deserve a beautiful dress?

As for the FI''s opinion on what to wear, my FI explains it thusly: your FI thinks you''re hot. He thinks mermaid dresses are hot. Therefore you should wear a mermaid dress. Also, I would bet that while you don''t like your butt, your FI doesn''t feel that way.

So I might take it as an ego boost and then buy something that makes you feel confident and beautiful.

UGH! Can''t figure out how to highlight above post! I LOVE this quote: There is no international fabric shortage that dictates a maximum size for wedding dresses!

Anyway, I heartily ditto everything that you said. Rereading my post I think I may have sounded overly negative because I was trying to commiserate. But you said it better. We should all be able to find a dress that makes us feel "confident and beautiful." I did and I have a far from perfect (whatever that even means) body. You will find your dress too!

 

[pjean]

I don''t think you sounded negative at all, MaggieB. In fact, I think this is a great attitude to wedding weight loss:

Date: 8/28/2008 11:17:53 AM
Author: MaggieB
Once I found my dress, I found it a lot easier to lose weight because I wasn''t so down and depressed about it. I knew that I had a dress that I would look good in no matter what, and so now I just exercise so that I will look even better in it.

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

I''m not excited to try on dresses because it''s going to be really expensive and maybe not look as good as I picture in my head!


As for listening to your FI, he seriously can''t know if that style would look good on you. My bf likes backless dresses, but that doesn''t mean I can pull one off and am going to risk looking bad on my wedding day. Maybe you could take into consideration the idea behind his request. It''s possible that he just doesn''t care for the poofy shape of the ball gown or the A line, not that he is thinking, "Oh I want to marry Ariel the little mermaid". So maybe you could look for dresses that hug the top of your hips a little more or go straight down rather than flaring out from the natural waist. It doesn''t have to hug your body to the knees in order to get away from the poofiness. There are dresses out there that compromise.