Anyone doing personalized vows?

[june48]

My FI wants to do them, but so far I''ve found it really hard to think of something that was a) not cliche and b) would not be too personal to share with 150 guests, some of whom I don''t know very well. Have you seen people pull this off sucessfully?

 

[sydneycasandra]

June-
We are doing personalized vows for our DW/beachy ceremony. We haven''t written them yet but we have agreed that they will have some sort of format to them rather than both of us just going off and spouting a paragraph (which would be okay to but we like the sort of "back and forth").

We are only going to ask the officiant to ask us to "do you take blah blah to be your wife" and to "i now pronounce you... you may kiss the bride".

I think anything you come up with between yourselves would be lovely and personal; I can''t imagine that your guests would find it too "private" as long as it wasn''t risque, and they would probably enjoy watching a couple make their own lifelong pledges to each other.

 

[Tybee]

This is daunting---but I really want us to do this.
Things have become crazy on our end, with buying a house and the wedding creeping up on us,
but I really want us to personalize our vows.

A great friend of mine, who wrote her own vows for her AMAZING ceremony suggested that you ask
yourself the question: Why do I choose this person?

And take it from there.

 

[nytemist]

We plan on doing our own vows and really looking forward to it. One day things just started flooding my head about what he means to me, our history, how I feel and all that. I''ll probably end up talking for 10 minutes!

I think the hardest part for him is being center of attention and trying to say such things, since he is- although very improved- kind of shy.

 

[cutes814]

My fiance is pretty shy too, but he agreed to write our own vows. Honestly speaking, I have no idea what I''m going to be saying as well. I''m going to take tybee''s advice and ask myself that question. Thanks for the help tybee!

I think when the day comes, I''ll be very nervous, but as you express your feelings to him at the altar, I have a feeling you probably won''t even notice that anyone else there. Good luck to you and all the other ladies that are writing their vows.

 

[XChick03]

I''m in almost the exact situation, he wants them, but I don''t really. I''m a pretty private person, and it''d be really hard for me to think of something to say that would be beautiful, personal and that I could say in front of all those guests. I think we''ll probably end up going the traditional route, but I don''t know.

 

[heart prongs]

I''m an English teacher, so the writer in me just sat down one day while my husband was at work and compiled a ceremony. I printed it out and showed him that night after dinner and he loved it. We worked together on the vows and the music, but I laid the foundation by going online and gathering some things I thought were beautiful and fit our summer wedding by the sea theme...it came out really nice and personal...our guests say they loved it as well -- I heard quite a bit of sniffling!!! I''d be glad to send it to you if youd like...

klr

prongs

 

[Tybee]

Oh Heart Prongs,

If you don't mind sharing, I"D LOVE some inspiration for OUR wedding by the sea.
I'm stymied!

I really don't want us to go the traditional route. I"ve been digging up some poems and readings,
but having trouble finding anything that speaks to me.

(edited to add my e-mail address if you're sharing! that annie at comcast dot net)

 

[Mara]

We added a few lines to our traditional vows to just make them a little personal but we didn't want to go totally off the cuff on our own.

Actually we had what was I guess a non-demoninational wedding on the beach so I compiled our ceremony from a bunch of them that were out there, taking bits and pieces and creating our own lines here and there. Then I emailed it to our pastor in Hawaii.

The funny part was I had my personalized vows done months earlier but I was soooo rushed the day of the wedding that I never looked at them and it wasn't until I got to the ALTAR that I realized I hadn't looked at them and vaguely remembered them but not the wording specifically and I burst out CRYING when he said it was my turn to speak. It was hilarious and horrifying at the same time! So whatever you guys do, make sure to look at your vows the day of the wedding to re-familiarize yourself with them!!

ETA: Tybee I dug out our old ceremony and emailed it to you, I got a little misty eyed reading it. My fave part is the 'these are the hands' part. hehee. Hope it helps!

 

[squarediamondlove]

We also want to completely personalize our vows, though I do get nervouse that they will sound too rehearsed and "official," if you know what i mean.

I know when my FI proposed to me on my B-day, he talked about his feelings on stage in front of hundreds of people and it all sounded a bit removed and objective to me. I find it so much more romantic and emotional to hear the way he expresses his feelings to me in private rather than in public. He just sounds different and the way he talks about me is different. So told him I want to hear that private side of him during the ceremony.

Its hard to create your vows and not think about others that will also hear them. My suggestion is this: try to just write a couple of love letter to him with the though that no one will read them. Then, after a week or so, you can go back and re-read those letters, taking certain portions from each letter and incorporate it into your vows so it sounds like its more "form the heart."

 

[peonygirl]

I''d love to read other people''s vows! My email address is dshafir at san.rr.com. Thanks so much.

 

[squarediamondlove]

Date: 3/31/2006 10:50:44 AM
Author: Virginia
This may sound odd, but I love the idea of saying traditional vows that couples have been saying for generations....the same words my parents said and my grandparents said.... There is something romantic about it (to me) to say those words.

That sounds nice, I never thought about it that way. Can you do both? A short personalization and than both can resay the traditional vows?

 

[squarediamondlove]

I just remebered something....my FI's mother told me they were at a wedding and the judge, during the ceremony, took out two letters that he asked the couple to write to each other (neither the bride or groom knew he was going to read them out loud to everyone at the ceremony). I'm not sure if the judge read it to everyone or the groom and birde did, but I do know that my FI's mother got so emotional and started crying; she said a lot of people were crying. She also said it was the nicest ceremony she has ever weant to (and she goes to a lot of weddings).

So I guess this is a good example where poeple did pull it off, though perhaps not intentionally

 

[Mara]

Oh I agree re: traditional, when we compiled our ceremony, I used the traditional til death do us part and love and cherish stuff, but also added in some new things like the hands and the personalized vow things, also our pastor said some sort of blessing at the end in Hawaiian which was fun, so it was a great mix of traditional and new/appropriate to the locale kind of thing.

 

[Tybee]

Mara!
You are a sweet heart! I didn't get it though, could you resend?

 

[Mara]

omg I''m a tard!! I sent it to the wrong email, so some random chick is probably going ''umm what is this'' right about now.

 

[Tybee]

''Hilarious!
Thanks again--- it really helps! Now if we could just sit down and DO THIS THING!