Liane
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Anybody watching ''more to love'' on fox?
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crystalheart1
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vespergirl
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Well, I thought that the title of the show was a hoot, so I dvrd it, and am watching it now. In a way, I''m totally OK with the diea, because why not have a show where bigger women are depicted as beautiful and desirable - however, I am really turned off by the height and weight postings - I think that''s really tasteless.
I am normal weight, but my best friend growing up was obese. She''s been married twice (now to her forever husband, whom she has two beautiful children with) and both husbands have been normal weight guys, so I agree with the previous poster that a lot of guys like bigger women, whether they are bigger themselves or not.
I am normal weight, but my best friend growing up was obese. She''s been married twice (now to her forever husband, whom she has two beautiful children with) and both husbands have been normal weight guys, so I agree with the previous poster that a lot of guys like bigger women, whether they are bigger themselves or not.
zoebartlett
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Date: 7/29/2009 12:11:13 PM
Author: Italiahaircolor
I hate things like this. I hate it, hate it, hate it. ''More To Love''.... Every time I''ve ever seen the commerical for it, I ask Mark why they named it that. It''s offensive. I understand they are doing it to ''level the playing field''...but essentially they are just reinforcing stereotypes.
I completely agree! Would they put up the same info on the regular Bachelor program? No they wouldn''t. They''re not leveling the playing field at all. Leveling the playing field would be to include people of all shapes/sizes on the Bachelor and the Bachelorette (not make a mockery of a new show called "More to Love.") But they don''t do that do they?!
FWIW, My husband will not watch "The Biggest Loser" because of the title. He thinks it''s completely degrading and inappropriate.
Elmorton
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DH and I were listening to NPR Talk of the Nation this afternoon where they were discussing this show. I didn''t see it, but it sounds awful...the guest commentator was saying that on the real bachelor, they never have food at the cocktail portion, but for this, they were serving things like teriyaki chicken and zooming in while the girls spilled on their dresses. They were playing up the fact that the women have no self esteem and the editing played up that these women are "fatties." Like I said, I didn''t see it, but after hearing the guest commentator, I really don''t plan to.
I''m a plus-size and my DH is normal sized, and both of us were completely grossed out by the show''s concept for the same reasons. I have a hard time with the whole idea of "some men like bigger women" anyway. While you can''t help physical attributes that you''re attracted to, I think it''s bizarre/twisted when people date based on physical attributes in the first place - this is part of why I think the bachelor is problematic. So, having a show like the bachelor where women have an array of sizes (in the healthy range), hair that isn''t over-processed, and no fake anything (eyelashes, nails, hair) - well yeah, I''m all for that, I suppose. When I was watching the bachelorette last night, I couldn''t help but think that Jillian is really, really, really thin. In person, I''m not sure she''d look healthy. Regardless, my other problem with reality dating shows is that I think it exploits people with low self esteem (and sometimes narcissists). That said, sometimes I''ll watch it just to see the train wrecks because I can acknowledge that a lot of those people do this to further an acting career or something (because seriously, being a Trista or Melissa is a MILLION times better than actually getting proposed to on that show), but there''s just not that same opportunity out there for the More to Love women - none of these ladies are likely to become mini-celebrities (if it''s true that the producers are trying to cast them as low-self esteem "Miss Piggies"). And, as someone who is battling my weight, there''s no skirting the issue that these women are not healthy. Obesity is not a good thing and it has serious health consequences - I''ve been watching first hand what effect obesity is having on my aging parents. So, exploiting people who have nothing to gain from this, who likely have low self esteem, and who are teetering on the edge of serious health issues - wow, I think it''s all sick.
I''m a plus-size and my DH is normal sized, and both of us were completely grossed out by the show''s concept for the same reasons. I have a hard time with the whole idea of "some men like bigger women" anyway. While you can''t help physical attributes that you''re attracted to, I think it''s bizarre/twisted when people date based on physical attributes in the first place - this is part of why I think the bachelor is problematic. So, having a show like the bachelor where women have an array of sizes (in the healthy range), hair that isn''t over-processed, and no fake anything (eyelashes, nails, hair) - well yeah, I''m all for that, I suppose. When I was watching the bachelorette last night, I couldn''t help but think that Jillian is really, really, really thin. In person, I''m not sure she''d look healthy. Regardless, my other problem with reality dating shows is that I think it exploits people with low self esteem (and sometimes narcissists). That said, sometimes I''ll watch it just to see the train wrecks because I can acknowledge that a lot of those people do this to further an acting career or something (because seriously, being a Trista or Melissa is a MILLION times better than actually getting proposed to on that show), but there''s just not that same opportunity out there for the More to Love women - none of these ladies are likely to become mini-celebrities (if it''s true that the producers are trying to cast them as low-self esteem "Miss Piggies"). And, as someone who is battling my weight, there''s no skirting the issue that these women are not healthy. Obesity is not a good thing and it has serious health consequences - I''ve been watching first hand what effect obesity is having on my aging parents. So, exploiting people who have nothing to gain from this, who likely have low self esteem, and who are teetering on the edge of serious health issues - wow, I think it''s all sick.
Haven
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El, I really enjoyed reading your post.
I just dug out this thread because I''m watching the second episode and they are eating a steak dinner on a yacht. When did they ever eat anything on The Bachelor? They focused in on the women eating, ugh. This show is really disgusting me, and I feel bad for the women on it.
I just dug out this thread because I''m watching the second episode and they are eating a steak dinner on a yacht. When did they ever eat anything on The Bachelor? They focused in on the women eating, ugh. This show is really disgusting me, and I feel bad for the women on it.
Elmorton
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Thanks, Haven. I didn''t realize how much this topic struck a chord with me until I started writing.
I think they do show dinners on the Bachelor (I used to watch it religiously with the gals in my dorm when I was in college), but it was always very "fine dining" and there were never shots of eating, just the talking. However, when I watched the Bachelor post-college it dawned on me how much DRINKING they do. So, it''s not like the Bachelor is without its addictions/dependencies.
I think they do show dinners on the Bachelor (I used to watch it religiously with the gals in my dorm when I was in college), but it was always very "fine dining" and there were never shots of eating, just the talking. However, when I watched the Bachelor post-college it dawned on me how much DRINKING they do. So, it''s not like the Bachelor is without its addictions/dependencies.
Hudson_Hawk
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DH and I watched this show last night and we were horrified. I feel like they''re focusing on the desperation that these women so clearly feel and there are going to be MANY hurt feelings. I feel like they''re doing things like having them all eat big meals and throw on bathing suits for comedic relief, not because they want to show these people celebrating life and embracing who they are. They want to give the audience something to laugh at.
This show reminds me of the movie Carrie. I''m just waiting for the bucket of pigs blood to drop.
This show reminds me of the movie Carrie. I''m just waiting for the bucket of pigs blood to drop.
hoofbeats95
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Dude - I just don''t know about this show. I was turned off with the previews. I was sad that the guy had to be plus sized too. I HATE that they put the height and weight up. This isn''t Biggest Loser! That guy, Luke, is a pimp. He wanted to KISS everyone! geesh. And these women! Hello! Who says "I have never been on a real date" when you first meet a guy? Who tells the guy "in my last relationship my boyfriend was embarassed to be seen with me". WHO says that to the guy when they first meet them? I mean come on!
These women are not the average size of 14-16. No way. I range between 14-18 in general through the years. And let me tell you - I do NOT look like that. I mean really. I compared my height and weight to some of these women and I am just plain not that flubby! No way. After watching this show I looked at myself naked in the mirror (AHHH! ha ha) and let me tell you I have no where near the flub that these women have. Not that anything is wrong with that. But these women don''t really represent the average woman in my opinion. They don''t represent it in the weight or the attitude IMO. *shrug* This show is a train wreck. I haven''t watched the second episode. I recorded it and I will watch it because I wanna see more one on one action between Luke and the girls. But it looks like it''s going to be a peep show - all the previews show him making out. I mean come on! I don''t know. . . I like the concept of this show - that the women are NOT a size two but it was POORLY done IMO.
These women are not the average size of 14-16. No way. I range between 14-18 in general through the years. And let me tell you - I do NOT look like that. I mean really. I compared my height and weight to some of these women and I am just plain not that flubby! No way. After watching this show I looked at myself naked in the mirror (AHHH! ha ha) and let me tell you I have no where near the flub that these women have. Not that anything is wrong with that. But these women don''t really represent the average woman in my opinion. They don''t represent it in the weight or the attitude IMO. *shrug* This show is a train wreck. I haven''t watched the second episode. I recorded it and I will watch it because I wanna see more one on one action between Luke and the girls. But it looks like it''s going to be a peep show - all the previews show him making out. I mean come on! I don''t know. . . I like the concept of this show - that the women are NOT a size two but it was POORLY done IMO.
Hudson_Hawk
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tlh
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First, The bachelor does show women eating. But the editing doesn''t focus on that. The ladies on the bachelor chew like that have a secret, and their bites of food are very small. However the camera just focuses on the women doing the talking... not the women that are eating. They are eating it is more of a background thing. Now, the more to love show I did catch, and you are right. It shows women eating.. but these women are taking MUCH bigger bites. It doesn''t play up who is doing the talking w/ the girls eating in the background. The girls eating are the primary focus... and YES they are taking much larger bites that involve more chewing. Now even though they didn''t give them a bucket of fried chicken and go... dig in ladies... it is still a different way of filming. But what I will say is that the girls on the bachelorette appear to eat more like I did on my wedding day. Because I was VERY aware of the camera man who was around taking pictures of me, and seemed to take pictures every time I tried to eat. I DID NOT want to be filmed eating. The ladies on more to love don''t seem to have that going on. They seem to be 100% distracted by the fact that for the first time ever someone is actually giving them attention.
Second, It appears that these women have such LOW self esteems that ANY attention they receive from this guy is all they can think of. Some of these women admittedly have never dated before... so the minute bit of attention flung their way sends them crying and reeling. It is definately a rollercoaster of emotion... and I think the show is taking advantage of these women. The girls keep saying that they are "big and beautiful" but it is clear that many women on the show have some serious emotional issues... and lack the self confidence it takes at any size to really see themselves clearly as a beautiful woman. That to me is sad.
Also I''m not sure if there was an outpour or what... but last night they removed the height weight label that went with the girl''s name and age. That was a positive move on Fox''s part.
Second, It appears that these women have such LOW self esteems that ANY attention they receive from this guy is all they can think of. Some of these women admittedly have never dated before... so the minute bit of attention flung their way sends them crying and reeling. It is definately a rollercoaster of emotion... and I think the show is taking advantage of these women. The girls keep saying that they are "big and beautiful" but it is clear that many women on the show have some serious emotional issues... and lack the self confidence it takes at any size to really see themselves clearly as a beautiful woman. That to me is sad.
Also I''m not sure if there was an outpour or what... but last night they removed the height weight label that went with the girl''s name and age. That was a positive move on Fox''s part.
MonkeyPie
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I watched the re-run of the first show the other day with my husband, and every time a woman came out and he saw how she looked related to her (annoyingly stated) weight, he was amazed. I weigh as much as some of those women, and I said so when he was wondering why they looked so much bigger when they were ALL way taller than me. I know people carry weight differently, but it just seemed off.
There was one woman on there that totally didn''t look like she had "more to love", at all. The blonde in the skintight red dress, I forget her name. She was curvy and had a flat tummy, nowhere near chunky. It was kind of weird, but the other girls took one look at her and just blanched.
Luke skeezes me out hardcore. He''s soooo gross, and it has everything to do with his personality.
Steel
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I agree with the concerns voiced but also have an issue with the ''searching for a plus sized love'' concept. It reminds me of the fat-enabler ''real-life'' shows I saw a while back, with the (more often than not) skinny husbands enabling their morbidly obese (35+ stone), then taking video and photographs of their wives to ''share''.
hoofbeats95
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First I agree with misconceptions. Which is why I looked at myself NAKED!
Can''t get much more real than that. I saw more flab, if you will, on these women in dresses than on myself in my birthday suit.I too think the weights seemed way off. I don''t know. . . it just didn''t seem right. I''m 5''10" so I''m taller than most. But I was heavier than some, I believe, on the show that were shorter. It just didn''t make sense.
The woman in the skin tight dress was like 6''2". I bet you she is definitely in "pluse size" cloths. She''s a bigger girl, but she looks GREAT! I wish I looked like her. But people are often surprised when I tell them how much I weigh or what size clothes I''m in. I guess I''m lucky enough to carry it well.
I just really wish these women were a more accurate representation. I hope the producers of this show are getting this kind of feedback.
Hudson_Hawk
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trillionaire
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This show makes me sad. (Though, all of the dating shows make me wanna vom, if I''m being honest!) the issue with these ladies, IMO, has everything to do with self-esteem and little to do with weight. My sister is 23, gorgeous, with a BANGIN'' body, but she''s never had a boyfriend because she is both picky and self-conscious! I also have a girlfriend who is over weight (maybe size 24?) and has PLENTY of love interests... but she makes terrible decisions about who she dates because she has her own set of esteem issues (less weight related, more other stuff). Now, I am not suggesting that it is as easy to date if you are larger than if you are smaller, but you also have to be openminded. My gf that is overweight was always complaining about not being able to date in college, but most of the guys on our campus weren''t looking for someone her size, but if she would just go out off campus, into the real world, she was getting hit on constantly. (she''s gorgeous, btw, and not just because she''s my friend. She far prettier than I am!)
So yeah, long story short, if Fox wants to HELP any of these women, they need to have counselors available for these women to talk to throughout this process, and preferably access to them afterwards. I know that they want a good show, but some people are more fragile than others. I think the show concept is terrible and flawed. I am watching an episode now, online, so that I can have an informed opinion about it. Everything that I have seen makes me sooo sooo sad for these women... and the guy seems like a jerk anyway. These women deserve better, but plus sized women are not the only ones who have a hard time dating. MOST of my friends, regardless of size, are struggling with dating. It''s just HARD, period! I appreciate themed shows, but are they going to start having Asian, Latino, East Indian and Black Bachelor/ette shows? There are many demographics that get left out of television programming, but I personally feel that creating casts around one demographic exacerbates the fact that these people are not seen as mainstream or accepted
Look at Real Housewives of Atlanta!?! That show has a totally different feel than any of the others. It makes me sad, too.
Sorry... off of my soapbox.
/rant
So yeah, long story short, if Fox wants to HELP any of these women, they need to have counselors available for these women to talk to throughout this process, and preferably access to them afterwards. I know that they want a good show, but some people are more fragile than others. I think the show concept is terrible and flawed. I am watching an episode now, online, so that I can have an informed opinion about it. Everything that I have seen makes me sooo sooo sad for these women... and the guy seems like a jerk anyway. These women deserve better, but plus sized women are not the only ones who have a hard time dating. MOST of my friends, regardless of size, are struggling with dating. It''s just HARD, period! I appreciate themed shows, but are they going to start having Asian, Latino, East Indian and Black Bachelor/ette shows? There are many demographics that get left out of television programming, but I personally feel that creating casts around one demographic exacerbates the fact that these people are not seen as mainstream or accepted
Sorry... off of my soapbox.
/rant
MonkeyPie
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tlh
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trillionaire
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I will say that I think that using diamond rings is far too imbued with symbolism to be appropriate. A beautiful diamond necklace would have been in better taste, rings invoke too much of a feeling of long term commitment. This kind of feels like promise rings gone awry, and the women are getting really really attached to them, and what they ''mean,'' very quickly.
hoofbeats95
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Hera
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hoofbeats95
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I watched last week''s episode last night. Nothing like waiting till the last minute since it''s on tongiht. Anyways, Luke is a perv! I don''t like him at all. He tries to act so suave. It''s funny. But he wants to kiss everyone!
The one chick is so hopelessly in love with him. He''s going to break her heart. He''s not going to pick her.
And what''s up with Lauren wanting to talk smack about the other girls?? AND he kept her!?
These girls need some self confidence. Some of them are really gorgeous!
The one chick is so hopelessly in love with him. He''s going to break her heart. He''s not going to pick her.
And what''s up with Lauren wanting to talk smack about the other girls?? AND he kept her!?
These girls need some self confidence. Some of them are really gorgeous!
whitby_2773
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i thought she''d go - she was 11 years older than him. but boy was she gorgeous! i recall her weight - she was 180lbs and 5''11". had she been 27 i think he would have kept her.
i thought Christina - who he took to the casino with him - looked really pretty. she seemed to me to be a more typical ''overweight american woman'' as opposed to some of the women there who just seem *huge*.
and Hudson Hawke, you might have varied between a 10 and a 14 during your life, but NO WAY are you representative of ''average'', dear - you''re gorgeous! (sheesh! if that''s ''average'' bring it on!!)
i found by midway in episode 2, i was yelling at the tv "STOP CRYING!!!" like - so you''re overweight - i get it! if it hurts THAT badly, go on a diet and get off the burning stove top! gees louise! i mean - come on - 6 months effort would put most of these women in a totally different physical category. and i understand being overweight - i *am* overweight now, but boy! if it hurts that much, so that you feel that it''s wrecking your entire life - what sort of person keeps eating rather than taking the steps to get their life back? and i DO understand about food addiction, and all sorts of dependencies...but this isn''t a dress rehearsal - this is IT - one life. i wouldnt accept a lifetime of misery rather than confronting the demons that got me here in the first place. sooner or later one has to say - enough is enough!
Erin
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Elegant
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MonkeyPie
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Good God, big freaking ditto. Thank you SO much - I was afraid that saying something like that meant I was being heartless, but if the Always Caring Whitby agrees, then I feel better about it lol.
All I kept thinking was, "If you hate your life, then FIX IT." My husband was disgusted the whole time, and not because he thinks tears are wrong or that the women were hideous (he thought the majority of them were beautiful), but because that whole "woe is me" attitude is incredibly off-putting.
whitby_2773
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LOL! cracked me up!
seriously tho - it reminded me of my parents and that old parental comment "if you dont stop crying, im going to give you something to cry about"!! that one girl in particular - the one who cries ALL the time - is gorgeous - but overweight. so many people out there could lose 100 pounds and all they''d end up being was ''skinny-ugly''! i guess i feel more for *those* people, and the ones who can''t ''radically change their whole lives'' just by stopping over-eating. she has an opportunity to be absolutely beautiful. if it''s more important to her to eat than to be slim and beautiful and all that entails - fine. i have -zero- issue with that. but embrace the choice, y''know?? i''m a firm believer that, in lifestyle, we are exactly what we wanna be. not in all things, true, but for those lifestyles that involve choices made specifically by US, then the choices we freely make can only ever reflect exactly what WE want.
and this is a message to me as much as anyone, cause i want to lose the extra weight i''m carrying and the only reason i haven''t done it so far is because it''s suited me not to. i started a diet a few weeks ago tho and, boring tho it is, and limiting, and discipline demanding and all that horrible stuff - the weight DOES come off.
*sigh* i miss cake.
Hudson_Hawk
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Why thank you my dear, you''re very kind (as always).Date: 8/11/2009 2:40:55 PM
Author: whitby_2773
i thought she''d go - she was 11 years older than him. but boy was she gorgeous! i recall her weight - she was 180lbs and 5''11''. had she been 27 i think he would have kept her.
i thought Christina - who he took to the casino with him - looked really pretty. she seemed to me to be a more typical ''overweight american woman'' as opposed to some of the women there who just seem *huge*.
and Hudson Hawke, you might have varied between a 10 and a 14 during your life, but NO WAY are you representative of ''average'', dear - you''re gorgeous! (sheesh! if that''s ''average'' bring it on!!)
i found by midway in episode 2, i was yelling at the tv ''STOP CRYING!!!'' like - so you''re overweight - i get it! if it hurts THAT badly, go on a diet and get off the burning stove top! gees louise! i mean - come on - 6 months effort would put most of these women in a totally different physical category. and i understand being overweight - i *am* overweight now, but boy! if it hurts that much, so that you feel that it''s wrecking your entire life - what sort of person keeps eating rather than taking the steps to get their life back? and i DO understand about food addiction, and all sorts of dependencies...but this isn''t a dress rehearsal - this is IT - one life. i wouldnt accept a lifetime of misery rather than confronting the demons that got me here in the first place. sooner or later one has to say - enough is enough!
Hudson_Hawk
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