Any other indecisive ladies?

[merilenda]

Hi, ladies! So I''ve been thinking about this, and I thought where better to pose this question than LIW?

I''ve always known that I''m a pretty indecisive person. I have trouble deciding what''s for lunch half the time, so choosing an engagement ring? Yeah. This tends to result in me obsessively looking at about a million rings. BF has been making fun of me for obsessing about it. The other night, I was looking at diamonds, and he was like "Hey lord of the rings, it''s time for bed!"

Anyone else completely indecisive, yet having trouble giving up control? I actually think I may have made a breakthrough in the ring hunt though. I''m loving GOG cushions, and I think it may be the perfect solution for someone who can''t choose between princess and round!

And soon, I''ll have to decide what to eat for lunch. So many decisions!

 

[Callisto]

Yeah that all sounds pretty familiar... I love GOG cushions as well. I came to PS convinced I wanted a princess and totally changed my mind upon seeing what else was out there. I noticed that you''ve only been a member since April, though you may have lurked before then.

My advice is although you may be itching for a proposal, give it some more time on pricescope to really let all the choices settle a bit. I found that while I am still indecisive, my choices fluctuate WAY less than they did before, like I am now between a GOG cushion and Old European round, which have a lot of similar characteristics. Whereas in the first few months my preferences changed from princess to emerald to cushion which are really incredibly different cuts.

Some things that I loved and also really helped give me a better idea of cut differences are
a) the SMTB Ring folder/eye candy thread. It''s super long but it has so many different shapes and sizes and settings, its a really great way to see a HUGE variety of rings to help determine what you like.
b) I also love Rhino''s videos He does a lot of comparison cut videos too that can really help you see the difference in light performance of different cuts that can be hard to tell just from pictures. Those videos are the main reason I realized I LOVED chunky cushions and rounds. And while emerald cuts are beautiful an so elegant on your finger, I didn''t actually care of their light performance much (just my opinion.)


Keep looking at pictures, and bookmark things you like. In a month or two you can look back at the bookmarks and I bet you will see common trends in the rings you like. Hope that helps!

Oh and I hope this post doesn''t sound presumptuous, I am definitely still indecisive, but these were the tools that helped me be LESS indecisive.

 

[MayFlowers]

Trust me, I am in the same boat that you are. I am HORRIBLE when it comes to making decision, which I''m just sure is going to be even worse once I start planning my wedding. I have changed my mind about my ring many many times. I used to want a solitaire princess cut. Then I learned more about Hearts and Arrows rounds and wanted a RB solitaire. Then I wanted a RB with sidestones. Then I changed my mind and wanted a RB in a halo, with many more changes in between all that. Now though, I''m waffling between a RB solitaire and a GOG AVC solitaire. So, I definitely understand what you are going through.

To help you in your decisions, I definitely think what Callisto recommends is great. Both the sticky thread and Jon''s videos will give you a great idea of shapes and how each diamond shape performs. If you''re still not sure which shape diamond you want, you could always do what I and HopeDream have done, which is to make a tin foil ring with each diamond shape. It may give you an idea of how each looks on your hand. Or you could always go to a "better" B&M store like Shane Co. or Jared''s that carries different shapes to try them on. Just keep in mind that those stones will not compare at all to stones you would get from GOG in terms of light performance. But, they can give you an idea of how the shape looks on you.

 

[HopeDream]

Ooh me!, Me! I''m very indecisive.

I came to PS over a year ago with a crush on the tiffany lucida bezel set (saw it in person profile too high, and too expensive). I spent countless hours looking through show me the ring, the under 1ct thread, and various cushion and bezel threads. I flirted with art deco filagree settings for a while (too many dust holes, not a big fan of rounds), and then debated between a square cushion hearts and arrows and the AVC for a few months. I decided I was into diamonds for their fire and finally fell in love with AVCs (a nice bright stone that''s squareish, but doesn''t have the Xs and sharp corners of a princess). I flirted with the creamy lower colors (Js,Ks,Ls) before being honest with myself that, for me, a white stone was more important than a large stone.

Continuing with my love of Bezels I had decided a James Meyer setting was the way to go. (bought an estate bezel eternity ring to try out melee bling and bezels). I like melee bling in an eternity band, but ultimately decided that melee would take away from the main stome being the focus. Are you with me so far? Then I found The Stone (right color, perfect ASET, acceptable clarity).... And watched it....For months.

Then it was time to buy

. As it turns out, BF doesn''t like Bezels (goodbye James Meyer). The basket head settings I thought I liked for their sturdiness were too high on my finger, and trellis settings were too busy. One touch of platinum was all it took to know it was the metal for me (that and my uncanny ability to dissove plating of any kind). I hate peg head settings so they''re out, so that left cup settings (which seat the diamond lower on my finger). GOG realy only had two kinds of settings around my budget that were simple platinum like I wanted, and it was easy to choose the nicer looking one.

It was a lengthy process of elimination, but I think the original spirit of simplicity and clean lines carried through from my initial choice to my final choice.

Figure out the essence of what you want, find your perfect stone, and work with your budget and the desired physical parameters to find a setting that works. Don''t eliminate possibilities until you try them on.

 

[merilenda]

I have definitely looked through the under 1 carat thread. I''m sure I''ll be going through it again. So many beautiful rings on this forum, but a lot of them are ridiculously out of our price range right now! I love looking at the "realistic" ones for me.

I''m already finding that my choices are narrowing down. I discovered that I don''t like emerald cuts by having a family EC diamond available to us, which was disappointing! But what can I do? I just don''t love the step cuts, and believe me, I have tried!

I''m pretty new to PS, although I did lurk for a while before signing up and posting. I probably found the site last year when I was looking for examples of princess solitaires with wedding bands. Ironically, I''m not in a huge rush to get engaged. I guess it''s most important to me just knowing that BF is ready, if that makes sense. I know we''re on the same page. BF is actually the one who is more impatient about it, isn''t that funny? He had been talking to his parents about getting a ring, so now we keep getting congratulations on our engagement from his family! This bugs BF more than me - he feels like we''re in some limbo between dating and engagement. Of course, my indecisive self is used to being in limbo while making decisions.

 

[Callisto]

Date: 5/6/2010 9:32:17 PM
Author: merilenda
I have definitely looked through the under 1 carat thread. I''m sure I''ll be going through it again. So many beautiful rings on this forum, but a lot of them are ridiculously out of our price range right now! I love looking at the ''realistic'' ones for me.


I''m already finding that my choices are narrowing down. I discovered that I don''t like emerald cuts by having a family EC diamond available to us, which was disappointing! But what can I do? I just don''t love the step cuts, and believe me, I have tried!


I''m pretty new to PS, although I did lurk for a while before signing up and posting. I probably found the site last year when I was looking for examples of princess solitaires with wedding bands. Ironically, I''m not in a huge rush to get engaged. I guess it''s most important to me just knowing that BF is ready, if that makes sense. I know we''re on the same page. BF is actually the one who is more impatient about it, isn''t that funny? He had been talking to his parents about getting a ring, so now we keep getting congratulations on our engagement from his family! This bugs BF more than me - he feels like we''re in some limbo between dating and engagement. Of course, my indecisive self is used to being in limbo while making decisions.

I agree about looking at realistic rings. I love to oogle at the big gorgeous rings but I really have to reset my priorities every few weeks and remind myself both the benefits of a smaller ring (never worrying about traveling with it, etc) and that saving for our future is 100000x more important to me than a fancy diamond ring.

Oh and I actually spent more time today looking at Rhinos videos and I cannot over emphasize how amazing they are.

My family can be kinda silly too, I live with SO which is not common within my family so my grandma always asks if I have "any big news" haha.

 

[merilenda]

Date: 5/6/2010 10:43:26 PM
Author:Callisto
I agree about looking at realistic rings. I love to oogle at the big gorgeous rings but I really have to reset my priorities every few weeks and remind myself both the benefits of a smaller ring (never worrying about traveling with it, etc) and that saving for our future is 100000x more important to me than a fancy diamond ring.

Oh and I actually spent more time today looking at Rhinos videos and I cannot over emphasize how amazing they are.

My family can be kinda silly too, I live with SO which is not common within my family so my grandma always asks if I have "any big news" haha.

Sounds like you and I are in similar situations! I also live with BF, and my mom is always making comments like "I hope you''re going to get married soon!" I love to look at some of the huge rings on here too, but I agree. I would hate to spend so much money on something and then feel uncomfortable wearing it around, you know? I also know that a lot of these ladies have been married for a while and have upgraded their rings.

I''ve really fallen for GOG cushions. There are some cushion cuts that I''m not that fond of - the more rectangular and circular ones - but I''m hoping that we''ll find the perfect one. GOG also has a great upgrade policy!

 

[Tigarlily1]

I am sooo indecisive that I''ve checked out of the decision. I have looks at tons and tons of rings. I love princess cuts, round stones, cushions.... Besides marquis (not my fav) I really think all are beautiful!! I went to the jewlery store and tried on both thinking that would help make my decision easier and I LOVED them both. As far as a setting I love side-stones, and tapering, and antique engraving. So basically I couldn''t make a decision so I let it up to my SO to decide. He bought the ring in Dec and tells me thats its gorgeous. He is a perfectionist and has told me he is more interested in getting a perfect stone than a big stone or a super expensive setting. I feel like knowing he has the ring and that an engagement is coming has taken some of the surprise out of it but not knowing what he chose for a ring or even if its round or princess ect puts the surprise back in it!

 

[kagordo4]

So I''ll just tell you my story and hopefully that will help.

My boyfriend came in one day (not so out of the blue) and asked me to come with him to a few jewelry stores to "give [hime] some ideas because [he] had looked a few times and was overwhelmed." So long story short we ventured to our local Verragio dealer, because I was ALL about th verragio look at the time.

I''m one of those people that can tell you what I hate and dislike with no problem but deciding what i like is totally different. I knew going in i hated three stones and yellow gold so I didn''t even bother looking. But what I found was that the internet lies, rings look nothing like they do in person. I still don''t know why I was so shocked by this. My boyfriend is a photographer for HSN (Home Shopping Network) and I watch him take pictures and then retouch them all the time, they never actually look like the product because there is SO much photoshop involved.

Anyway, I found out Verragio was not my thing, it looked mass produced and it just wasn''t the exquiste piece I''ve dreamed of.

I also went in with a very clear-cut idea of what I did like (round center stone, with pave shanks). Oh did I change my mind as soon as they handed me my described dream ring. I realized it was too cookie cutter looking for me. I wanted something subtly different, nothing obscene but just.. me? A certain je ne sais quoi?

I never had that MOMENT of OMG THIS IS MY RING. But that isn''t really my personality. I found a tacori ring that made me smile when they put a diamond in the head for looks (because they are semi mounts as I''m sure you know : ) ) Anyway, long story short I changed my mind so much. My ring is going to be (if he ever proposes!!!) delicate twisted almond shapes with a princess cut center, I think the stone he picked (he wanted something to be a suprise) is just over 1.25cts. So total 180 for me.

If you''re like me you know what you don''t like. But what you like is sort of grey-ish. So my suggestion? Try on EVERY ring you are even slightly drawn to, I even tried on some Simon G rings which have way more going on than something I would be interested in BUT I tried it, and knew. Plus things look different on your hand than in the holder, so take a look : )

Sorry for the LONG winded response but I hope this helps, I wish someone would have told me "it''s okay to not have Heaven open and angels to play trumpets and horses to fly from the sky when you try on the ring you love." Now I just can''t wait to wear it, it''s like a relationship, I''ve grown to love it : ) It wasn''t love at first sight. Good Luck : )

 

[Indylady]

I wouldn''t say I''m in decisive, but I am having a hard time finding "the one!" My SO and I are working together, so that makes the process that much harder. He''s had a hard time describing exactly what he doesn''t like about a ring style because he''s not so familiar with the terminology, even basic things that I wind up taking for granted. Fishtail head, mushroom pave, martini settings...sound like a nasty dinner concoction more than jewelery, so I understand the confusion. Check out this thread where I asked the ladies how they narrowed it down and found "the one". It was definitely a helpful read.

Personally, I''m taking the process s.l.o.w.l.y. Its definitely been hard! I''ve looked through the 1ct thread. Many, many times. I have size 5 fingers, and I really like the way a 5mm or 6mm gem looks on my hand, which is basically between half a carat to 1 carat. Looked through the CS e-ring thread with SO. Bad idea. Too many pictures, too quickly. Realized I need to do an inspiration folder. And that''s where I am right now, with a single picture saved to my desktop, waiting for a folder to be made...

I have a feeling this is going to take a while...

 

[slg47]

oh gosh...I can totally relate!

we decided on a center stone because my BF was able to bargain down to a good price so we got the size/color/everything I wanted! but now I am going CRAZY trying to pick out a setting. I originally thought I wanted a setting with pear sidestones, but then I saw this one with marquise side stones...

I decided to have the jeweler make wax mockups of BOTH settings so I can decide. There are just too many rings out there!

 

[merilenda]

Tigarlily - I''ve thought about doing that! Just letting SO pick something. But I guess I have just slightly too much control freak in me to completely go through with it! I bet your ring is gorgeous, and I hope he gives it to you soon, so we can all see it.

kagordo - I know what you mean about trying them on...it''s funny how you really can have a totally different reaction between a picture and real life. I''m kind of like you, in that it''s easier for me to say "nope, this isn''t the one" than "Oh, I like this one because..." I feel like I tried on about 9,304 rings. I''ve found quite a few of them that I''ve liked, but after "deciding" on one, there was always a pang of uneasiness. UNTIL I discovered that I''m in love with chunky cushions. And I found a setting that I love. Since "deciding" on this, I have felt 100% at peace about it and really excited. So I think this may be it!

IndyLady - thanks for the thread! I think I skimmed it before, but it is interesting to see how everyone finds THE ring. My SO is the same way. I''ll show him something, and he''ll say he doesn''t like it, but he can''t say why. I started bookmarking all the rings I like, but it got confusing pretty quickly when I had a ton of them and couldn''t find a particular ring when I looked. It''s definitely a process!

slg - That''s a big thing though that you have a center stone! I know choosing a setting can be a big ordeal too though!

 

[slg47]

merilenda-glad you are going with the GOG cushions! I think they are beautiful! I started out wanting square but not princess, I liked the Lucida from Tiffany but it is expensive and has limited setting options...then I found the square cushion hearts and arrows! I did not get from GOG because I had a local jeweler who got them in and they had a good price, but I would not hesitate to go with GOG because they give you so much information.

Also I totally agree about looking at reasonable rings, some of the rings on PS are so big (I wonder what kind of jobs these people have sometimes! 2+ carats is NOT in our budget!) I also like looking at the rings smaller than what you are going for because lots of them look really nice

 

[princesss]

I''m very decisive. Since coming to PS I have decided on my dream ring up to 4 times a year!

For the longest time I dreamed of an OEC (or GOG''s re-working of one) in JM 1345. Then I realized that there are things about it that bug me, and that I''m much more of a classic, sleek, timeless kinda girl. The one designer I keep coming back to, and the only person where I look at every piece they make and think, "I''d wear that," is Leon.

So for now I''m dreaming of an OEC or a yummy transitional in a simple Leon setting. But by the time I get engaged, who knows what I''ll want!

 

[crossmyfingers]

Yes, I am indecisive too, and I blame all you ladies!

But honestly, I''d looked several times and just not found anything I was super excited about and thought that I''d like to have as my forever ring. I have never been very interested in jewelry before now, so this is all new to me.

Then after I looked more, I''d found several rings I''d be fine with, but none that were exactly my dream ring (at least not that were close to a reasonable price range). Then I found THE ring! ...Then about a month later I found a different ring that makes me think it might be closer to what I want than "the" ring was. Aaaahhhh!

I think, truthfully, there are several types of rings that I would be super pleased to have. I might show BF five or six rings and tell him to surprise me!

(Oh, and it''s not like there are minor differences in the ones I like. Oh no, the few different ones I love are completely different designs from one another. My rings folder I have saved on my computer has all different types of rings in it, all of which I adore.)