Any of you raising your kids by speaking to them in a foreign language?

[Lanie]

Assuming all of you live in English speaking countries...do any of you speak a language other than English to your kids? Are any of you speaking French or Spanish or Korean, etc but your husbands speak English to the kids? What are your experiences?

I have my masters in Spanish and have studied this at length (one parent, one language philosophy), but wanted to see some practical experiences. I speak Spanish fluently, and would like for my kids to speak it (no kids yet), but my soontobe husband doesn't speak it at all. I was wondering if any of you had difficulties or even good experiences with raising your kids to speak a foreign language.

 

[anchor31]

DH and I are French Canadian. I learned English at home and was fluent by the time I was 10 or so, DH is still learning. We're planning on raising our children in both languages... Knowing both languages is such an asset here, and the younger you are, the easier it is to learn!

 

[Mandarine]

Hi Lanie!

This is a great thread!

I do plan to speak to the boys in Spanish. My whole family speaks Spanish and so does DH''s mom''s side. At home, DH and I speak in English (even though he''s also fluent)...he''s just more comfortable in English.

So the babies will probably hear both, but I plan on making a point of speaking to them in Spanish and making MIL do the same.

DH grew up in the midwest and his mom always spoke to him in Spanish, while his dad''s family spoke to him in English. He used to spend summers in Spain and had to take reading and writting classes (he didn''t like doing it but his mom made him!). His Spanish is pretty perfect (with a sexy Spanish accent I might add

).

My nephews just came over from Spain (at 3 and 5) and at home they continue to speak in Spanish...in less than 3 months they had already picked up English and you hear them sometimes talking to each other in English when they are playing. However, they KNOW they have to talk to mom and dad in Spanish!.

I think if you can teach them you really should! Hope that helps!

M~

 

[Lanie]

I hope so too! I think the more input they have in the minority language, the better. Minority language meaning not what they would hear on the playground or in daycare/school/community. I''m on board with it, FI is on board with it, but I get the feeling that family members don''t really understand how it would work. My mother made the comment to me that it might delay their speech, or they might only know each language a little bit and not a single language perfectly. I told her that was completely not the case! Research shows that kids that learn 2 languages at home can completely categorize and separate them, and they know exactly who to speak to in which language. Which I think is totally cool!

I think the biggest thing is to be consistent. I hear a lot about moms that tried speaking to their kids in another language, and they stopped for whatever reason. Literacy in the foreign language is another biggie...when I get pregnant, I hope to have lots of books and videos in Spanish for the kids to help me out.

Mandarine...that''s so cool that they sent your DH to Spain to be surrounded by it. That''s so awesome! He probably hated it at the time, but is now completely appreciative of it!

 

[UCLABelle]

I don''t have kids, but my girlfriend and her husband are raising their kids bilingual...and it seems to work very well. However, one of the parents does not know the other language, which sometimes is hard.

 

[NakedFinger]

I dont have first hand experience with it yet, but my SO''s aunt spoke both Italian and English to her girls from the moment they were born. Her husband isnt italian nor does he speak it, but its so amazing seeing a 4 year old and an 8 year old fluent in two languages already (both speaking and being spoken to). I think its a very smart idea. Like anchor said, the younger they are the easier it is to learn a language. So that would be the time to do it!

 

[curlygirl]

I was raised bilingual (English and Armenian) but am not as fluent in Armenian anymore because I don''t use it as much as I should. I was also speaking French and Arabic by the time I was 3. I want my children to learn as many languages as possible so I do use some Armenian words and my parents speak only Armenian to them. My 2 year old is also going to French classes and will start Armenian school when she turns 3. They truly are sponges when they are young so it''s good to start early.

From what I''ve read regarding raising bilingual children, each parent should speak a different language but ONLY that language. For example, Mandarine should only speak Spanish to her boys and her DH should only speak English. I''ve heard that''s the best way but I''m sure there are differing schools of thought on this...

 

[D&T]

I speak cambodian to my kids but it''s like 50% mixed with English, so my poor DD goes off and tells our daycare provider she wants/needs so and so in part cambodian and english... oh boy, but she knows anything we say both in English and cambodian. Its quite nice when we''re out and about and if she is misbehaving, we can address her in cambodian and no one really understands what we are saying.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 7/14/2009 11:19:18 AM
Author: curlygirl
I was raised bilingual (English and Armenian) but am not as fluent in Armenian anymore because I don't use it as much as I should. I was also speaking French and Arabic by the time I was 3. I want my children to learn as many languages as possible so I do use some Armenian words and my parents speak only Armenian to them. My 2 year old is also going to French classes and will start Armenian school when she turns 3. They truly are sponges when they are young so it's good to start early.

From what I've read regarding raising bilingual children, each parent should speak a different language but ONLY that language. For example, Mandarine should only speak Spanish to her boys and her DH should only speak English. I've heard that's the best way but I'm sure there are differing schools of thought on this...

That is what I've heard too, but I've done no research into this or anything.

My mother speaks to her in Korean, TGuy and I speak English (I throw a few Korean words in here and then, but not a lot) and the nanny speaks Spanish. I worked for an education company that had a language program for babies. Not that they would actually learn the language, but it is important for them to hear and emulate the sounds in the different languages. That ability goes away remarkably early...I read somewhere that it is at about 6 years of age.

I've also read that babies/children who are spoken to in different languages take longer to speak themselves. I am finding that is the case with Amelia. I think they are confused early on what to actually say.

My friend is Korean and her husband is Hispanic. She only speaks to him in Korean, and he only in Spanish. Their son didn't speak for awhile, but when he did, he was well versed in understanding and speaking both languages. English came later (he is 3 now and communicates with other people in English...it's quite amazing!) They didn't focus on the Engllish. That just comes from watcing TV later and being in this country. I don't think people have to worry about kids learning English...focus on the other languages first. Korean was my first language My parents didn't know English. But just by living in this country, English became my primary language and I actually do not speak Korean well, even though it was my first language. It just happens through osmosis...like Curlygirl said, kids are sponges. My brother and I never communicated in Korean even though it was the language used at home.

 

[Mandarine]

I agree 100% Tgal

They will learn English no matter waht...that''s why I think it''s important to submerge them in the other languages. My nephews, for example, only watch their movies in Spanish (even though they''re still learning English). My sister knows their English will be eventually perfect, so she''s more worried about keeping them fluent in Spanish now that they live in the US.

I have also heard the same about the kids taking longer to speak...they just need to sort it all out I guess before they are ready

 

[Haven]

I think it''s great to raise bilingual children, and we hope to become fluent in Hebrew and Spanish before we have our own kids so we can do the same.

 

[princesss]

BF''s "cousin" is trilingual at 5. English, Italian, and Spanish. He lives in Italy, and his parents speak English and Italian with him, and they got him a Spanish nanny who only speaks to him in Spanish. He does it like it''s the most natural thing in the world. I''m pretty comfortable in Spanish, but seeing him switch was AMAZING.

I plan on living overseas and depending on the country, I may just send my kids to local schools for pre-school and kindergarten (maybe longer) so that they pick up another language. The earlier, the better, right?

 

[princesss]

Date: 7/14/2009 11:37:33 AM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 7/14/2009 11:19:18 AM
Author: curlygirl
I was raised bilingual (English and Armenian) but am not as fluent in Armenian anymore because I don''t use it as much as I should. I was also speaking French and Arabic by the time I was 3. I want my children to learn as many languages as possible so I do use some Armenian words and my parents speak only Armenian to them. My 2 year old is also going to French classes and will start Armenian school when she turns 3. They truly are sponges when they are young so it''s good to start early.

From what I''ve read regarding raising bilingual children, each parent should speak a different language but ONLY that language. For example, Mandarine should only speak Spanish to her boys and her DH should only speak English. I''ve heard that''s the best way but I''m sure there are differing schools of thought on this...

That is what I''ve heard too, but I''ve done no research into this or anything.

My mother speaks to her in Korean, TGuy and I speak English (I throw a few Korean words in here and then, but not a lot) and the nanny speaks Spanish. I worked for an education company that had a language program for babies. Not that they would actually learn the language, but it is important for them to hear and emulate the sounds in the different languages. That ability goes away remarkably early...I read somewhere that it is at about 6 years of age.

I''ve also read that babies/children who are spoken to in different languages take longer to speak themselves. I am finding that is the case with Amelia. I think they are confused early on what to actually say.

My friend is Korean and her husband is Hispanic. She only speaks to him in Korean, and he only in Spanish. Their son didn''t speak for awhile, but when he did, he was well versed in understanding and speaking both languages. English came later (he is 3 now and communicates with other people in English...it''s quite amazing!) They didn''t focus on the Engllish. That just comes from watcing TV later and being in this country. I don''t think people have to worry about kids learning English...focus on the other languages first. Korean was my first language My parents didn''t know English. But just by living in this country, English became my primary language and I actually do not speak Korean well, even though it was my first language. It just happens through osmosis...like Curlygirl said, kids are sponges. My brother and I never communicated in Korean even though it was the language used at home.

On the delay:

My linguistics professor in college had studyed language acquisition for years, and when she and her husband had a child, she was determined to speak Greek to him while her husband spoke English. Around 3, she noticed that other children he played with had twice the vocabulary that her son did, and she became worried that she was slowing his development, and she stopped speaking Greek to him so that he could catch up. Even though she knew the research was out there saying it''s normal, and she wanted him to speak Greek, she got nervous and stopped teaching it to him. She says it''s one of the biggest things she regrets about raising her son, and she''s spending way more on Greek lessons now that he''s older than she would have had to had she continued to use it in the home.

Just something to be aware of, I guess.

 

[Camille]

Date: 7/14/2009 11:42:36 AM
Author: Mandarine
I agree 100% Tgal

They will learn English no matter waht...that's why I think it's important to submerge them in the other languages. My nephews, for example, only watch their movies in Spanish (even though they're still learning English). My sister knows their English will be eventually perfect, so she's more worried about keeping them fluent in Spanish now that they live in the US.

I have also heard the same about the kids taking longer to speak...they just need to sort it all out I guess before they are ready

Ditto, English will be there for them. We had 2 other than English growing up, it was strange for a couple years, but after we entered kindergarden it was solved. Glad started earlier with my kids, take my nephews 11 & 14, they didn't start French and Spanish, after 3rd grade [my sister didn't want them to have an accent] well, her kids won't even try ....

Great Post Princess.

 

[Haven]

princesss--As a reading specialist, we see children with problems similar to your linguistic professor''s child if the child was exposed to a second language a bit later in life and the child was not yet fluent (for his age) in his first language. The research for my field shows that children will have literacy issues if they take on learning a second language before they have mastered their first. However, this only applies if the child is exposed to the second language after they have been exposed to the first, e.g. You speak only English to your child for the first four years of his life, and then you introduce him to Spanish.

Of course, not every child in this situation develops literacy issues. But I can say that most of the kids on my reading caseload are students who spoke one language for the first part of their lives, and were then exposed to a second language before they had become literate in their first.

It sounds like raising a bilingual child is a completely different scenario. It may be that the vocabulary learning curve is a bit slower for bilingual children at first, but I imagine that over time they will develop stronger vocabularies than children who speak only one language.

 

[Bia]

We'll be speaking to our future children in both English and Spanish from day one. My family is Hispanic, so Spanish was spoken in my house. FI is 1/2 but Spanish was not spoken in his home. Although he understands spoken Spanish, he's shy about speaking. He recently got Rosetta Stone and has been practicing. He says once he's to Level II he'll start speaking with me at home (we'll see if that's true

).

My parents will speak to our children in Spanish because it is important to me that they be fluent. I am in the process of learning French, because I love the language and want to go to France speaking it well. Italian would ideally come next. I would also love to learn Greek as I have quite a few family members who are 1/2 Greek (as is my FI) and therefore I was immersed in the lovely culture. But Greek is very different, so I imagine it will not be easy.

I'll start with French!

 

[April20]

I know of two different couples of had the opportunity to raise bilingual children. Couple 1 raised all their kids with the father speaking only English to the kids and the mother speaking only Spanish. All of the kids are completely bilingual. Couple 2 speaks Italian and English. I asked if they were going speak to the children in Italian and she told me it was "too difficult". I could never understand this. She''s Italian, I believe her husband is Italian and they have LOTS of family in Italy having on been in the states for a dozen years or so. To each his own, but I can''t help but wonder if the kids will regret their parents not teaching them the language from infancy.

 

[Lanie]

Date: 7/14/2009 11:58:34 AM
Author: princesss

Date: 7/14/2009 11:37:33 AM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 7/14/2009 11:19:18 AM
Author: curlygirl
I was raised bilingual (English and Armenian) but am not as fluent in Armenian anymore because I don''t use it as much as I should. I was also speaking French and Arabic by the time I was 3. I want my children to learn as many languages as possible so I do use some Armenian words and my parents speak only Armenian to them. My 2 year old is also going to French classes and will start Armenian school when she turns 3. They truly are sponges when they are young so it''s good to start early.

From what I''ve read regarding raising bilingual children, each parent should speak a different language but ONLY that language. For example, Mandarine should only speak Spanish to her boys and her DH should only speak English. I''ve heard that''s the best way but I''m sure there are differing schools of thought on this...

That is what I''ve heard too, but I''ve done no research into this or anything.

My mother speaks to her in Korean, TGuy and I speak English (I throw a few Korean words in here and then, but not a lot) and the nanny speaks Spanish. I worked for an education company that had a language program for babies. Not that they would actually learn the language, but it is important for them to hear and emulate the sounds in the different languages. That ability goes away remarkably early...I read somewhere that it is at about 6 years of age.

I''ve also read that babies/children who are spoken to in different languages take longer to speak themselves. I am finding that is the case with Amelia. I think they are confused early on what to actually say.

My friend is Korean and her husband is Hispanic. She only speaks to him in Korean, and he only in Spanish. Their son didn''t speak for awhile, but when he did, he was well versed in understanding and speaking both languages. English came later (he is 3 now and communicates with other people in English...it''s quite amazing!) They didn''t focus on the Engllish. That just comes from watcing TV later and being in this country. I don''t think people have to worry about kids learning English...focus on the other languages first. Korean was my first language My parents didn''t know English. But just by living in this country, English became my primary language and I actually do not speak Korean well, even though it was my first language. It just happens through osmosis...like Curlygirl said, kids are sponges. My brother and I never communicated in Korean even though it was the language used at home.

On the delay:

My linguistics professor in college had studyed language acquisition for years, and when she and her husband had a child, she was determined to speak Greek to him while her husband spoke English. Around 3, she noticed that other children he played with had twice the vocabulary that her son did, and she became worried that she was slowing his development, and she stopped speaking Greek to him so that he could catch up. Even though she knew the research was out there saying it''s normal, and she wanted him to speak Greek, she got nervous and stopped teaching it to him. She says it''s one of the biggest things she regrets about raising her son, and she''s spending way more on Greek lessons now that he''s older than she would have had to had she continued to use it in the home.

Just something to be aware of, I guess.

This would be so hard to do! If I saw that my child was delayed in English, I would want to cut back big time on the Spanish. But of course, that makes it seem to them that Spanish isn''t important enough to learn, and they will stop trying to speak it. That''s really interesting that she says she regretted it. I just hope my family understands when they are in that "sorting out" period, and they won''t compare them to their cousins who speak English with higher vocabularies. I figure that there are so many kids who live in Switzerland, for example, that are raised trilingually, and there''s nothing to it. They compartmentalize and everything just works itself out.

I think a lot also has to do with the importance the family puts on the language...so many people around here (Texas) don''t speak Spanish, but were raised speaking it. They don''t speak it because it was looked down upon in their family or they viewed it as unimportant because all of their school friends were speaking English, so they got embarrassed. I think you really need to submerse them in the culture as well, at least as best as you can.

 

[puffy]

i am chinese, well cantonese to be exact, and i speak it pretty frequently to DS, who understands and can say some words, but his vocabulary is mostly in english.

 

[fieryred33143]

Even though I was born in NY, my "first" language was Spanish. I knew enough English to get by in school but learned most of it while in school. I am doing the same with DD. We talk to her mostly in Spanish and will continue doing so until she''s at least 2 or 3. I feel its better for children to learn languages when they are young as they retain it longer and its easier for them to learn.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 7/14/2009 10:09:01 AM
Author:Lanie
Assuming all of you live in English speaking countries...do any of you speak a language other than English to your kids? Are any of you speaking French or Spanish or Korean, etc but your husbands speak English to the kids? What are your experiences?

I have my masters in Spanish and have studied this at length (one parent, one language philosophy), but wanted to see some practical experiences. I speak Spanish fluently, and would like for my kids to speak it (no kids yet), but my soontobe husband doesn''t speak it at all. I was wondering if any of you had difficulties or even good experiences with raising your kids to speak a foreign language.

A friend of a friend, who speaks spanish fluently, is putting his son in a school that ONLY speaks spanish. The child hasn''t entered kindergarten yet. . .I''m not sure what I think of this because the dad is fluent in spanish, but the mom doesn''t speak any. The school does NOT speak any english at all during the day! Anyone heard of this?

 

[nycbkgirl]

i agree that the kiddos should be taught another language then english after the other language is mastered ..my niece learned english from watching tv and other kids talking when she was around 2 1/2 and now shes 4 1/2 and speaks both languages well (english with an accent still but that will go away).

Curly- Incha ?

 

[choro72]

MC, I know a Japanese friend with a Swiss Husband in Japan. He only spoke German to the daughter, and they put her in German school. I think she is about 10-12 now, and she speaks both Japanese and German fluently.

I hope my story is useful for someone here.

My parents tried to teach my sister and I Cantonese, Mandarin, and Japanese. I was so confused that I didn't speak until I was 3, and that was only because I befriended a Japanese child. My parents gave up and stopped speaking to us in Cantonese.

If I could go back in time, I would tell my parents not to give up Cantonese on us. It's such a waste. We KNOW that they are gossiping about us right in front of us, but that's as far as we can understand. They say that they cuss a lot because they are so used to people not knowing what they are saying.

When I was 5, I was put in an English school in Kuwait. I remember having a horrible time for 2 weeks. I burst into tears because I didn't know what was going on, but I coped. 1.5 years later we returned to Japan fluent in English.

I was raised in Japan afterward with the ordinary public education. In Japan, they teach English when we enter junior high but most Japanese end up not learning it enough to even ask where the restrooms are because it's just not part of the daily life.
Actually, when we returned from Kuwait, our school principle told my parents that they had better put that part of our lives behind us, and become "proper Japanese". My parents were livid and ignored that instruction.

My parents forbade us to speak Japanese in the house. We only had English novels at home, we only watched Hollywood movies, and listened to American songs (Beatles, since we only listened to what collections that my parents had). No Japanese TV, no Japanese music. We had to write diaries in English before we were allowed to watch TV at night.

Our only opportunities to speak English were with my family and a few of their foreign friends who lived in Japan. Even so, we were able to stay fluent in English (although it caused lots of socializing issues, but that's another topic), and now both my sister and I are working and studying in the US with no problems. The only adjustment we had to make was to speak "normally". We had to learn slang and not speaking like a research paper.

I also have friends in the US who speak Cantonese with their toddler, and he speaks it fluently. My cousins speaks Japanese to them and they are bilingual as well.

This isn't quite relevant, but we lost what our parents called "our cute British accent" quickly, especially my sister. I still pronounce "can't", "grass", "water", and such in the British way, but my expression is mostly American. I say "faucet", not "tap", I say "elevator", I say "eraser"...But when I'm nervous and have to speak in public, my British accent comes back like a storm. My thesis defense is going to confuse my adviser.
My friends think it's hilarious that this little Asian girl in the US say "water bottle" like the tour guide on a red Double Decker.

ETA, I see no problem teaching multiple languages simultaneously or one after another. I learned English after learning Japanese, but my cousins and friends learned Cantonese and Japanese simultaneously. I see no difference in fluency.
My mother grew up learning Mandarin and Cantonese at the same time, and she learned Japanese and English much, much later. She speaks all of them with the same level of fluency.

 

[princesss]

Date: 7/14/2009 12:07:15 PM
Author: Haven
princesss--As a reading specialist, we see children with problems similar to your linguistic professor''s child if the child was exposed to a second language a bit later in life and the child was not yet fluent (for his age) in his first language. The research for my field shows that children will have literacy issues if they take on learning a second language before they have mastered their first. However, this only applies if the child is exposed to the second language after they have been exposed to the first, e.g. You speak only English to your child for the first four years of his life, and then you introduce him to Spanish.

Of course, not every child in this situation develops literacy issues. But I can say that most of the kids on my reading caseload are students who spoke one language for the first part of their lives, and were then exposed to a second language before they had become literate in their first.

It sounds like raising a bilingual child is a completely different scenario. It may be that the vocabulary learning curve is a bit slower for bilingual children at first, but I imagine that over time they will develop stronger vocabularies than children who speak only one language.

I think with bilingual kids they start slower because they''re learning two words for everything, but once they catch up they have a firm grasp on two languages. So while it''s hard to see a kid seeming to fall behind, there''s almost expoential growth for the bi- and trilingual kids.

Interesting point about kids being introduced to a new language before they''ve mastered their first. What about kids that grow up overseas, where they hear the language every day but do not necessarily hear it at home? I think the most common example here is kids from a Spanish speaking home that hear English and go to school and take classes in English, but don''t speak it at home. Are there literacy delays there because they''ve only really had to speak English in school, or because of the early exposure can they catch up pretty quickly?

 

[packrat]

Ohh how I wish my parents knew other languages and could''ve taught us! I remember a little from the 1 year of Spanish I had in high school. I think it should be mandatory from the very beginning to learn another language-don''t other countries do that with English? My dad''s parents are Swedish, and Gramma can remember some-but she never taught dad..she''s taught me a few words, but without someone who really knows the language, it''s hard to know if Gramma''s saying it right to even teach me correctly. I love listening to people speak other languages-it''s beautiful.

 

[Pandora II]

I''m bilingual in Italian and English, DH only speaks English.

I talk to Daisy in Italian when we are on our own - and sing to her in Italian as I know more lullaby type songs in that! When DH or other people are around I talk in English.

One of my close friends in Italy is English and her husband is Italian - allthough they both speak Italian most of the time, both their kids speak fluent English. Another friend of mine is French, married to an Italian and they lived in Australia for 5 years - their two children are both tri-lingual.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

I always encourage parents to talk to their kids in a second language if they know one. This is based on some of what I have seen, and taking to experts in development.

Here is a little neuro for the nerds like me. If this puts you to sleep, skip to the next paragraph. The brain undergoes the most rapid development by age 3. At 10 months, you have more neurons that an adult. Over the next year, some neurons make stronger connections, and some die. Which one live and which ones die are based on environmental input. If a baby only hears english, she will learn how to make those sounds, and loose the ability to hear (and therefore say) the unique sounds associated with another language, and the neurons "specialized" for that language will die. That is why kids learn language better than adults, and why kids can develop a new accent if they move to another region.

I don''t think a parent should have to speak only one language to a child, but the parent should speak it enough for the child to get exposure. We always recommend that parents at least finish a thought in the same language (instead of mixing 2 languages in the same sentences). The children have normal speech, but things may seem slow at first (although they are not considered delayed if the development of 2 languages is the only reason). Many times, the kids will mix the languages together, and than by the time they are 3-4, start to figure out what word belongs to what language.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

I used to work in a child development research lab where we studied language acquisition. Ability to hear and distinguish between language sounds/phonemes really is "use it or lose it"!.

Don''t be surprised if the kids take a little longer to talk, learning two languages puts a little kink in the "learn by exclusion" method most kids use when first learning languages (i.e. they only learn one word for one object at first, it helps them pick up words more quickly).

 

[Kunzite]

Great topic!

I want so badly for my future children to be bilingual but I, myself, cannot seem to grasp a second language. I recently tried learning Norwegian and did fine with reading but I fall apart when I need to speak.

There is a very strong Scandinavian community in our area so my question to those of you who have mentioned nannies... would that be a helpful alternative? I''m under no delusion that I''ll get to be a SAHM so if the kids are around a second language all day while growing up would they still pick it up?

Of course I''m not giving up on learning myself. I think my own struggle to learn just makes me want my kids to have this knowledge even more.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

I''m bilingual, so I definitely plan on teaching my child to be bilingual (and my dad plans to help). My fiance is currently learning to speak chinese as well, I"m so proud of him!