Any advice or words of wisdom?

[MeganShannon11]

I haven''t posted here much before but I thought I would try to post on something that''s been on my mind a bit lately. I''m hoping someone here will understand my situation and/or be able to offer some good advice.

As of February, I have been engaged to the perfect guy (for me) and am extremely happy about that fact. Now, as a disclaimer, I know that engagement/marriage is not about the ring and I would gladly marry him without one if money were an issue.

That said, my fiance and I put a lot of time/thought into my engagement ring. The stone is a cushion from Mark at ERD which I would never want to change. It''s beautiful!

Unfortunately I''m finding that I''m just not in love with the setting. I really have no right *at all* to complain since I had a hand in choosing it, but this is just how I''ve been feeling. To give you an idea of what it looks like (since I''m having a horrible time posting pics), it reminds me a lot of the Ritani endless love setting with no halo. It has a very thin band and very delicate pave-set stones. The setting is low which is what I thought I wanted.

Looking at it now, I find myself wishing the band was a bit thicker with somewhat larger stones in the pave. I also wish we had gone with platinum instead of white gold and that I had gotten a full eternity band instead of only half.

I did have an honest talk with my fiance and he said that he feels it would be bad luck to change the setting before the wedding (next April). Plus, I obviously feel horribly guilty since I did have a hand in this whole process. We could have gone custom (because I had originally wanted something a lot like the Tiffany Novo) but ended up taking something our jeweler was already working on because we just really wanted to get engaged quickly!

My fiance did say that after the wedding he would be more open to my changing the setting of the ring. I feel so guilty now for even bringing it up.

Does anyone have any words of wisdom for me or has anyone been through this before? If you think I''m just acting spoiled, feel free to say that too.

PS I''m also getting worried about my ring sitting flush next to a wedding band because the profile is low. It''s annoying because my jeweler said that he would "make it work" originally when I said that it was important to me. I bet that''s going to mean making me get a curved band which I really didn''t want.

 

[ficklefaye]

MeganShannon11, don''t be so hard on yourself, i''m sure this has happened to many people on ps, including myself

i had a hand in both of my settings and i have been unhappy with both (craftsmanship issues), i am currently going for my third setting and i''m still not married

it does seem like your fi is ok with you changing the setting, so maybe he might be open to you changing it sooner, if you aren''t happy with it, why keep it for another year? could your jeweler take it as a trade in for a custom piece?

 

[swingirl]

Have you priced what a setting would cost exactly the way you'd like it? I'd have Mark come up with a quote. I wonder why your fiance thinks it would be better luck to be married with a ring that you don't like and want to change than to be married with your "forever" ring? Seems backwards to me.

Some ladies have been able to sell their settings on ebay so that the cost of the upgrade is offset.

As far as being a a brat? I can't say. Some people are going to think you should be 100% happy with your ring and others are going to say be grateful for what you've got especially since you picked it out. You also could consider an upgrade for an anniversary down the road.

Do try to get some photos up for us as we are dying to see a beautiful cushion and your setting.