Another question...

[bigE]

my gf''s parents are divorced and she never talks to her father so i know she doesn''t care about getting a blessing from him.

she''s really close to her grandfather and has said she would want a blessing from him. i''ve never met him and he is of a different language than me.

her stepfather is pretty close to her but he''s never home b/c he and his wife travel in their job.

i''m planning to propose in two weeks.

do you think it would be a big deal if i didn''t ask for a blessing, or asked for a blessing after the proposal?? i don''t want to ask for one b/c i feel the only way i can is over the phone with her step father and doing something like that over the phone just doesn''t seem right to me. any thoughts???

also, should i tell my parents or keep it a secret?

 

[CrownJewel]

ooh that''s a tough one. my first reaction was to say, it''s ok to ask for a blessing after the proposal. but some people are very traditional, and our families are far from traditional.

i agree with you though. i think it would be nice to talk to them in person. if there has to be a blessing, and you don''t feel comfortable asking over the phone, then propose first and maybe you and your fiancee can ask for their blessings together? maybe that would also help with the language barrier? i think the gesture of asking for your elders'' blessings is the most important part, when you ask them comes second.

and if your parents can keep a secret, then tell them. if you know they''ll share in your excitement and not stress you out in the next two weeks, then sure, tell them! maybe they can even help you prepare.

GOOD LUCK!!!!! congratulations on your upcoming engagement! so excited for you!