Another asscher ownder jumping ship???

[vespergirl]

So, I''m a little hesitant to bring this up, but I''ve been strongly considering trading in my asscher for a brilliant cut stone - either round, cushion or lucere ...

Here''s the history - my husband and I had a 6-week whilrwind engagement before our destination wedding, and we went diamond shopping together for the ring. We did zero research, and this was before I found PS He loved RBs, and I wanted to see asschers, but I really fell in love with the Lucere we saw at a specific store. Since it was a really overpriced B&M, we went to a local, well-reputed diamond dealer to look at stones. He didn''t have Luceres though, nor did he have square radiants or squarish cushions at the time - only the elongated kind, which I didn''t love, and we were in a hurry to get a ring. We tried looking at princesses, but my husband really didn''t like them, and since I had always thought I wanted an asscher, that''s what we got since they had one in the store that we liked, and could get the set ring the next day.

After getting the 1.64 ct. asscher at home, I noticed that it faced up smaller than a 1 carat round I had in another piece, and people kept commenting that it looked like it was "almost a carat." We were both annoyed at how small it faced up, so we traded it for a 2.25 ct. asscher (full trade up policy at our jeweler), and even though it''s big, I just am missing that white fire.

As much as I always loved the asscher in pics & in jewelry store lighting, I find myself disappointed with it day to day. It actually has a lot of scintillation, but what I''m missing is that BRIGHT WHITE LIGHT that brilliant cuts give off. I wouldn''t consider a halo, just because they''re not me - I really love the Leon Mege solitaire look with my channel-set band. I considered adding sidestones to the asscher, but it still woudn''t give off that bright white fire that you get with a brilliant cut. It just really bothers me when I''m wearing my G SI1 .5 carat pendant that looks twice as bright and fiery as my F VS1 2.25 carat asscher!

So, I am a little embarrassed to mention this to my husband, since he really wanted me to get a 2 carat RB solitaire originally anyway (that''s what he kept looking at when we shopped). But, I''m thinking that maybe he won''t mind, just think that I''m crazy for obsessing over jewelry (like so many of us here on PS Also, since we picked the ring together & we didn''t have a whole romantic proposal story, I am really mush more attached to my wedding ring & consider that the sentimental jewelry piece. What do you guys think about all this? Should I switch to a brilliant cut? I think I am favoring a 1.75 - 2 carat round brilliant ...

 

[shminbabe]

well, if that''s your heart''s desire, he doesn''t mind (as in, it won''t cause a major marital rift), you can afford it...yes, by all means, do it!

i do like your asscher in the picture, though. it''s just a different look than the rb. and if the rb is what you ultimately want, then jump off the ship! who cares?!

 

[vespergirl]

Off topic, shminbabe, I just wanted to tell you that your EC is STUNNING!!! And I also love the new shared prong band you got - saw the pic in the SMTR thread!

 

[decodelighted]

I think you *missed* a chapter in the story .... cough2.20cough.

Seriously though, I could say "Do whatever you want" or "Yea! Post Pix" ... but I just can''t.

How many changes to the ring in how long a time?
Wouldn''t you ALSO have to change the w-band?
Could your expectations be too HIGH maybe?

and most importantly

What ELSE is going on w/you? (If anything) What are you distracting yourself from by thinking about "the perfect ring"?

 

[Ellen]

Get what''s going to make you happy. This sounds like it''s going to bug you forever.

And while he may not like hearing that you''ve changed your mind, and it may cost more money, he''ll probably love nothing more than hearing you say," Honey, you were right".

DO be sure and say that.

 

[decodelighted]

I guess you''ve changed your mind since August when you wrote to Sera:

"I''m also an asscher owner, and understand some of your questions about not being sure about an asscher. Howver, every time I thought that I may want to trade it for a brillinat cut, I always end up loving my asscher more than anything else. I have tried on Luceres (kind of looks like a Jubilee) but from a distance, they just look like a slightly-squared round. Same with the squarish cushions - even trying them on in a jewelry store with friends, everyone thought they looked like rounds from a few feet away, and I really wanted something unique looking.

I''ve also always love step cuts, and even though I love the elegance of ECs, my asscher has so much more fire. Mine is not an RA, but it has an extra step so it''s cut similar to one, and has tons of rainbow fire, sparkle, and scintillation. That said, it does need to be cleaned almost every day to keep it looking fiery. It''s also VERY IMPORTANT to find one that''s well cut - I traded my old one in for this one, because the other one wasn''t cut as well, and had a dark spot that bothered me. It''s very important to see them in person & in different kinds of light before you buy.

Also, I haven''t run into anyone who thinks it''s a princess - I know somje poeple have had that problem, but more often, women know it''s an asscher and seem to really love it - especially because they''re still pretty rare, it gets a lot of attention.

I like the sleek, modern look (like Precision Set) so I have a solitaire with an asscher channel set band. We will probably add asscher sidestones to turn it into a 3-stone ring in the next couple of years to add to the bling factor.

Here are some pics of my ring in different light conditions - some are more in the shade so you can see the steps, but it really sparkles in the sunhsine ones!

 

[musey]

Date: 9/18/2007 1:00:23 PM
Author: Ellen
...

And while he may not like hearing that you've changed your mind, and it may cost more money, he'll probably love nothing more than hearing you say,' Honey, you were right'.

DO be sure and say that.

lol, YES Ellen! That's what I was thinking as well

I'm always a little sad when owners of BEAUTIFUL asschers (like vesper, UCLAbelle, others I'm forgetting...) decide that they're not happy. I can't imagine not loving those beautiful stones! But yes, it's about what makes YOU happy, not the prying eyes of PSers like myself.

Like Deco is saying though, there has to be an "end of the line" somewhere (...or does there? yes??). Granted, you haven't switched shape (and perhaps that is the answer, who knows), only carat weight, but still.

What about trying out another cut as a RHR for a while to make sure you really love it that much more? Unless budget allows

I'm talking cheapie department store costume jewelry to wear around home. Maybe try it for a few weeks and see which of your rings you steal glances at more...

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 9/18/2007 1:00:23 PM
Author: Ellen
Get what's going to make you happy. This sounds like it's going to bug you forever.

And while he may not like hearing that you've changed your mind, and it may cost more money, he'll probably love nothing more than hearing you say,' Honey, you were right'.

DO be sure and say that.

I like your idea Ellen. Hey, whatever floats your boat!!! Asschimere(sp?) changed her ring for a rb and loves it. I love all stones but do what makes you happy

 

[Harriet]

vespergirl,
If the asscher isn't working, then jump ship (provided, of course, that your husband won't mind). You do have to live with it.

 

[vespergirl]

Thanks for all the replies. I think the thing that bugs me most about the asscher is how it''s impossible to keep clean. I have a jewel jet and clean it frequently, but it seems that an hour after I clean it it looks all cloudy with smudges, and just doesn''t reflect light properly. What attracted me to the asschers at first were the gorgeous patterns, which I still love, but never seem to get to enjoy when the ring isn''t perfectly clean. I could not clean my RB pendant for months and it''s still whiter & more sparkly looking. I mentioned to my friends (all have ovals, princesses, whatever) that I clean my ring every day, and they cracked up & said that they only ever cleaned their rings for their wedding day (no PSers among the group, obviously), and they stay sparklier, because of the brilliant cut, I guess.

I have gone back more than once to swap asschers, and at those times, I''ve looked at other cuts & think they don''t compare to the interesting step cut of the asscher, but that''s when they''re "jewelry store clean" under that special lighting. Then I find myself hanging out in my house, or outside, and as much as I like the broad flashes, it''s just not that intense blue-white sparkle that you see in pics, which is what I think I''m missing.

I don''t know how much my husband would really mind - I know that he just wants me to be happy, though I don''t think he totally "gets" the love of jewelry. Honestly, though I don''t think it''s that different than the male obsession with constantly upgrading to a better car, TV, phone, whatever. The cost wouldn''t be an issue at all - I just feel like kind of a dope after telling him that I definitely DIDN''T want an RB and then going back & changing my mind

Either way, I am going to sit on the decision for a while and see what I feel like doing in a month or so.

 

[FireGoddess]

I''m with Ellen on this one - come clean with your DH and make sure to tell him *he*was*right*. I think that will go a long way in alleving his possible frustration with your multiple rounds of dissatisfaction.

I love the angles and look of an asscher but I test drove a ''fakey'' and it didn''t work for me. I even went to look at real ones thinking the fakey was just a bad cut - but in the end I prefer the brilliant cuts. I can understand how during the whirlwind of engagement activity you wanted to be wearing A RING!!! and got swept up and decided on an asscher but over the course of time became wistful for more or something else. You did go bigger and you''re still not happy - but I''d think long and hard on what will satisfy your needs because if you get a cushion and start to think ''gee, a round would face up bigger'' I think your DH has grounds to seriously object.

 

[asscherisme]

I originally had an asscher when I came here (hence my username!) I traded that for a 1.63ct AGS ideal last year and have had ZERO regrets. I love my ring and would trade again.

The step cut is beautiful, thats for sure. But I realized that I prefer the fire and sparkle of a round.

If you husband originally wanted a round, I bet he will have no problem with it. Especially if you present it as "Honey, you were right. I tried this shape and while its really pretty and I''ve enjoyed wearing it, lets go wtih you first instinct and trade it for a round". You will get what you want and he will feel like he made the right choice to begin wtih. Just be careful he is not the sort to gloat . If he is, another approach may be in need there LOL.

 

[musey]

I can definitely see why the ''clean'' issue you''re having would drive you crazy. It''s so weird... I feel like I can go for a couple of weeks w/out cleaning my asscher, and still the only time it doesn''t look spotlessly clean is when I try to take macro pics of it. So as long as I''m not doing a PS photo-shoot, I never really feel like it looks "dirty". My little RB sides on the other hand, do look dirty to me quite quickly (because of the way they''re set).

Anyway, everyone has their little pet peeves about jewelry/cuts, and if your asscher is violating one of yours you certainly can (and should) switch it to something that doesn''t (RB, in this case). Just make sure to post pics of the new ring if and when you do switch

 

[vespergirl]

Hi asscherisme, it''s good to hear you say that. I actually remember the gorgeous 3-stone asscher that you had, which I think is one of the most beautiful rings I had ever seeon! I remember reading that you traded for a round, and was wondering how you liked it - I''m glad to hear it''s working out! I kept thinking that a 3-stone would add more sparkle, but after reading your story, it makes me think that I''d be better to switch to a round solitaire.

And firegoddess, you''re totally right about the cushion. I have a feeling that if I go for any other fancy shape I''m going to be thinking that the round would face up bigger ...

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 9/18/2007 2:04:35 PM
Author: musey
I feel like I can go for a couple of weeks w/out cleaning my asscher, and still the only time it doesn''t look spotlessly clean is when I try to take macro pics of it. So as long as I''m not doing a PS photo-shoot, I never really feel like it looks ''dirty''.

DITTO. It doesn''t change the look or my perception of the stone *at all*. And its not a matter of "good cut" vs. "badly cut" asscher -- I think it''s a matter of expectation.

Which is why I 2nd the notion of a "try out" RB ... will THAT be everything you wish it to be? You can''t really compare it to a .50 pendant stone ... stones on hands are different & looked at much more, from more angles etc.

You mention that you don''t get the blue/white stepcut flashes that you see in pictures ... it''s not a picture you''re wearing. RBs aren''t going to look like their idealized photos either ... at least not all the time.

If it''s not for you, it''s not for you ... maybe it is as simple as changing the cut. And maybe this isn''t the end of the story.

 

[lyra]

Life is short. Tell your husband he was right and go for the RB. He may even get you a bigger one than you were hoping for. After that though, I would expect you might have to wait a couple of years if you decide you want something else. Give him some breathing room.

 

[kcoursolle]

Before trading I would think long and hard to make sure that this is what you want and that you just aren''t bored. If hubby is okay with it and supports the decision then go for it!

 

[aljdewey]

I don''t think you should feel obligated to explain or apologize for changing your mind.

The whirlwind nature of your engagement led you to make a fairly quick decision, and you based your decision on what you thought you''d love.
You changed it because you thought the reason you didn''t love it was due to lack of presence (small for weight).
You''ve since learned that you want a ''white light return'' look that your current shape isn''t notable for.

No biggie. People change their minds all the time, and it''s your prerogative to do so without having to justify your decision. I think it''s a bit rash to leap to a conclusion that your quest for the perfect ring is a diversion for some other issue. Even if the assumption was correct, that''s really still your business.

As long as you and your hubby are comfortable with making a change, I don''t see a reason you shouldn''t.

That said......I think this is an excellent opportunity to learn from your experience. Don''t let this be another decision you made rashly. You aren''t under a time constraint right now, so invest a bit of time looking at stones to really determine what look pleases your eye most before making another puchase decision.

Good luck.

 

[Jenn5504]

I originally had a princess cut stone. Well, I had always wished I had a RB instead. Unfortunately for me, there was no way of changing the stone (no trade up policy). You have a WONDERFUL opportunity here IMO, you can tell you DH "you were right" (I don''t know about you ladies, but dang it my husband loves those words more than ANYTHING I think) and take advantage of your trade in policy! I did end up with a RB after my original princess cut diamond was badly chipped and I do love the RB. SOME days I miss my princess cut, but I know I''m happer with this long term.

 

[kellyfish]

Okay--I''m feeling it, too. I love my square emerald, but it''s all about size. It just "gets me" that my 2ct faces up like a 1.5 ct rb. I bought mine from a b&m & had it specially called in--and looked at quite a number of stones over a month or so. I actually feel kind of guilty taking it back on a "trade in" because I doubt my asscher is in high demand around here. The jeweler remarked that they rarely get requests for the cut at the time of my purchase & I have only owned it 6 months. Do b&m"s get "stuck" with trade-in stones or do they have a way to handle them with their suppliers/cutters?

 

[Gypsy]

I *totally* get it.

I don't have the option of changing stones. Mine is a wonderful one carat asscher. And it's beautiful. My DF has asked me (and he's very very indulgent) to keep this stone. As the center stone. Of any ring. I wear on my left ring finger. It means that much to him.

If it didn't? I'd be looking at another-spreadier and brilliant cut diamond. Possibly a round. In a really lovely setting... possibly the Vatche Antique setting.

But I've learned to appreciate my diamond, it really is a lovely asscher, and I've got it being set into a halo as I type... and I'm hoping that helps with the spread issues, and the sparkle issues as well.

Plus my mother just gave me her lovely 7 stone ring... which really helps with the desire for sparkle. It's being reshanked and overhauled right now... and it will be my 'standard' RHR.

And I've got my eyes on some earrings from WF... so. I figure... I keep the lovely asscher. Make my DF happy. And just keeping getting additional bling.

If I were you though??? "honey you were absolutely right" would be the first words out of my mouth as I called him from the jewlers.

ETA: If at some time down the road, something happened to my asscher? My insurance on it is, on purpose, a cash value policy, not a replacement policy.I chose that policy on purpose because I doubt I would get an asscher again.

 

[musey]

Okay, I think I'm starting to get it. (I hope I don't put myself in the line of fire for this...) The smaller face-up size thing was never a negative issue for me--My FI is 23 and I am 22, so having an 8x8mm stone at our age and position would give the impression that we're living beyond our means. Having a 1.25 isn't that far out of the reasonable range, so the fact that my nearly-2ct asscher faces up more in the 1.25 RB range made me feel less self-conscious about it.

Disclaimer so I don't get the "why would you choose a bigger stone then" questions: We didn't choose that size asscher... we happened to find it at an estate sale at a ridiculously low price (seller didn't know what he had). It was labeled as a "square cut diamond, probably about a carat or so"

but I knew better...

TMI.

Anyway, SO, if you WANT size yet chose an asscher (not just the OP but the other chimer-inners) then I TOTALLY get it. If that were my goal yet other people kept assuming it were smaller than it was, that would irk me too.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

Any chance you might consider keeping your current ring and getting a smaller RB in a (SPD) ideal cut?? Best of many worlds or an all or none thingy???

cheers--Sharon

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Date: 9/18/2007 2:38:36 PM
Author: aljdewey

I don''t think you should feel obligated to explain or apologize for changing your mind.

The whirlwind nature of your engagement led you to make a fairly quick decision, and you based your decision on what you thought you''d love.
You changed it because you thought the reason you didn''t love it was due to lack of presence (small for weight).
You''ve since learned that you want a ''white light return'' look that your current shape isn''t notable for.

No biggie. People change their minds all the time, and it''s your prerogative to do so without having to justify your decision. I think it''s a bit rash to leap to a conclusion that your quest for the perfect ring is a diversion for some other issue. Even if the assumption was correct, that''s really still your business.

As long as you and your hubby are comfortable with making a change, I don''t see a reason you shouldn''t.

That said......I think this is an excellent opportunity to learn from your experience. Don''t let this be another decision you made rashly. You aren''t under a time constraint right now, so invest a bit of time looking at stones to really determine what look pleases your eye most before making another puchase decision.

Good luck.

Ditto, totally! PSer''s are famous for changing our minds, anyway!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

And one more thing...as long as your vendor allows more than one trade-in, I don''t see any issue whatsoever other than cost of new settings.

 

[vespergirl]

Hi everyone! I really appreciate your feedback. I was talking to my best friend about this last night - she totally thinks I should go for it too. I am really loving the idea of either an RB in an LM solitaire setting (something like Harriet just got) or this Tiffany setting which would go really well with my band. I love the "lucida" shape diamonds, especially in a three-stone, but I am wondering if I would have spread issues with those as well - maybe I will go down to tiffany to try some rings on. I don''t know that the actual size looks small on my hand, but the asscher optically draws the eye into the stone, which makes it look smaller to me than a brilliant cut, so maybe the "lucida" type would work, but I''m still leaning toward a nice RB in a solitaire setting ...

Either way, I am definitely going to take my time on this one (maybe upgrade around Xmas) so it will be a while until I''ll have pics to show

 

[Ellen]

Date: 9/19/2007 7:56:07 AM
Author: vespergirl
Hi everyone! I really appreciate your feedback. I was talking to my best friend about this last night - she totally thinks I should go for it too. I am really loving the idea of either an RB in an LM solitaire setting (something like Harriet just got) or this Tiffany setting which would go really well with my band. I love the ''lucida'' shape diamonds, especially in a three-stone, but I am wondering if I would have spread issues with those as well - maybe I will go down to tiffany to try some rings on. I don''t know that the actual size looks small on my hand, but the asscher optically draws the eye into the stone, which makes it look smaller to me than a brilliant cut, so maybe the ''lucida'' type would work, but I''m still leaning toward a nice RB in a solitaire setting ...

Either way, I am definitely going to take my time on this one (maybe upgrade around Xmas) so it will be a while until I''ll have pics to show

Good idea, as you''ve mentioned two totally different looks with the round, but both are pretty! Can''t wait to see what you pick.