Anniversary Woe

[metro]

In a 2-days, DH and I will be celebrating our 5-year wedding anniversary and our 10-year 1st date.

Sounds exciting, right?

I wish I was...

While we are able to get a baby sitter, it’s only long enough to go to dinner. So there won’t be any real “alone” time for us. We NEVER get date nights, so when we do, I really like to make it special. But DH, well, I feel like he’s stressed about – like it’s just a burden to make it special and to spend money. I know I won’t be getting a gift as he already told me not to give him anything as he doesn’t want me to spend the money.
I’m just bummed because this milestone is very important to me and I feel like it’s just another day for DH to stress out.

Are there other’s out there who don’t make a big deal about wedding anniversaries?

 

[AGBF]

Date: 10/3/2007 4:22:16 PM
Author:metro
Are there others out there who don't make a big deal about wedding anniversaries?

Yes. We just "celebrated" our 30th and I do not believe my husband even gave me a card! That does not mean it is OK for you, though. It is OK with me, but you are clearly not happy with the situation. I hope that you and your husband can get through the stress and find a way to celebrate these occasions that fills your needs without making him crazy. Good luck and happy anniversary, metro!

Hugs,
Deb

 

[snowflakeluvr]

don''t feel bad. your day will come. i don''t how old your little one(s) is/are but my dh and i just celebrated our 20th in april with NO fan fair. we have two toddlers running around as well as our older children(oldest in college) so there is little time, money, etc for romance. i had gorgeous custom diamond earrings made two years ago when things seemed simpler in our lives. i am contemplating making them into a dangle style(they are posts) for my christmas gift. it''ll be ok-we went to a nice dinner in mid-may for our anniversary and that just had to do. your day will come(but i know how it feels) my hubby did just send me roses on the 25th anniversary of when we met in college though which was a lovely surprise(it happens to be 9-11) but i kept thinking to myself, "does he know that i could have bought four boxes of diapers with that $$$?"

 

[somethingshiny]

We kind of make a big deal out of anniversaries. We acknowledge the day all day long. But we don''t necessarily have any big events. usually, I have the breakfast table prepared all sweet and romantic, and I make homemade cinnamon rolls or something. We usually go to the orchard or hiking. Just something for us to do. Then, if we''re lucky, we get dinner out. Otherwise, it''s steaks on the grill!

Happy Anni!

 

[diamondringlover]

My 23 anniversay was last May...I couldnt tell you the last time we went out, its just another day, now we do buy cards for each other and once in awhile he will get me flowers, but nothing special.

 

[metro]

I feel a little better now, thank you.

It''s been a hard year for DH and I. We''ve been through alot. We''ve never really had a "special" anniversary and I was really hoping that this would be the one, but....

There''s always 10-year.

 

[Fly Girl]

We try to escape for a nice lunch at our favorite restaurant on our anniversary.

But one of my most memorable anniversary "dinners" was eating hotdogs while watching our son play a Little League game. Being outside on a beautiful June evening, watching my beloved child play baseball (I''m a big baseball fan), well it just didn''t get any better. We were more than willing to skip the nice restaurant dinner. Then the coach gets up and announces that he will be missing the next game because he has to take his wife out for their anniversary. We all understand, don''t we? Wink, wink. I paused chewing on my hotdog and said that this hotdog was my anniversary dinner! Bring her to the game!

Try to have regular date nights, even if it is just grocery shopping together each week. You need time to talk and connect.

 

[MustangGal]

We had our 5 year married/10 year dating last year also. At the time we didn''t have much money to spare either, so I bought tickets to a baseball game, since hubby decided he''s a sports fan now. Too bad the game went 15 innings! I guess we got our money''s worth.

We did something fun this year though, and maybe it''ll work for you. Instead of just dinner, DH found a murder mystery dinner theater and suprised me. It was a lot of fun, and didn''t cost more than a nice dinner would any way. It was about 2 hours long and included a decent meal. Not sure if you''re in a large enough city to have a place like that though...

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

For years I worked on my anniversary--I simply forgot and booked a shift..... It always seems to be a bigger deal to my DH than me--he remembers the cards and date and I forget. We recerntly celebrated 22 years and did have dinner out, but that is not the norm around here.

Don''t be too hard on yourself--sometimes life gets in the way of dates!

cheers--Sharon

 

[Tacori E-ring]

oh, metro, if you lived here I would babysit for you! I know you must be disappointed. We don''t usually do anything big for anniversaries either. We just go out to dinner and give each other cards. I don''t think we gave each other gifts this past one

Can''t really remember though.

 

[somethingshiny]

I JUST remembered our 5 year anniversary. It was only 3 years ago, but I could NOT remember for the life of me. Turns out I did one of those "force it out of your mind".

We went to a "great" hotel. Pretty costly for us, but as we didn''t have children, we decided to make the splurge. It''s THE hotel to go to in this area. We got the Honeymoon suite. It had a loft bedroom with a jacuzzi and the whole nine yards. We checked in and went to our room around 5pm. There was something gooey on the coffee table! Right off, I was just grossed out! We figure, maybe it''ll get better. The entire downstairs looks like it''s not been cleaned in at least a month. We go up to the loft. The bed was made but the drapes around the bed were still pulled up and knotted in a weird (not designer) way. We looked in the jacuzzi, and what should my eyes see? Black hairs all over!

I still had my handbag in hand and I walked right down to the desk. (My husband was following with our suitcase) I said in a quiet tone, "excuse me, we''re unable to stay in our room." the lady glares at me and asks what''s wrong. In a continued hush I tell her that the room is unclean and unacceptable. She says very loudly, "What''s wrong with our rooms!?!" So, by this time, I''ve had it. I follow her tone and tell her every little detail about the filth. I included some choice words about what I thought was on the coffee table, too. She says there''s no way that room isn''t spotless. So, I bring a manager into the room, I obviously don''t need to point to the things for him to see. He gets upset with me! I''m like "are you kidding me?"

I go back to the desk, demand another manager and inform her I WILL be getting every dime of my money back. She will not hold me liable for a late cancellation and I will inform everyone I know about this disgusting place.

By this time, two other couples have walked out, and we followed them.

The moral of the story is: "Doing Nothing is Better Than Doing It Where Someone Else Just Got Done!"

 

[ljmorgan]

Date: 10/3/2007 4:22:16 PM
Author:metro



While we are able to get a baby sitter, it’s only long enough to go to dinner. So there won’t be any real “alone” time for us. We NEVER get date nights, so when we do, I really like to make it special. But DH, well, I feel like he’s stressed about – like it’s just a burden to make it special and to spend money. I know I won’t be getting a gift as he already told me not to give him anything as he doesn’t want me to spend the money.

I’m just bummed because this milestone is very important to me and I feel like it’s just another day for DH to stress out.

Are there other’s out there who don’t make a big deal about wedding anniversaries?

I think that their are different ways to celebrate an event and have it feel special -- is there any way that what makes an event feel special is not what makes it feel special to your husband? If going out and having a fancy dinner out simply stresses your husband, is there something low key that you could do that you could both enjoy? There''s no point in the fancy dinner and gifts if he doesn''t enjoy it, which causes you to not enjoy it either. Maybe you could sit your husband down and tell him that you know these events can stress him out, and ask what you two could do together. Maybe it''s a relaxed sporting event, massages for two, or even just making dinner home alone with the kids gone! As long as you spend the time together and it helps you appreciate your relationship, I think that''s what''s important!

 

[simplysplendid]

Hi, first of all, happy anniversary!

Our wedding anniversary is mostly just like any other day, except that my hubby will buy me flowers. We remember the day but don''t go out for a fancy dinner. We also don''t go out for fanciful dinners for Valentine''s or birthdays and will do whatever we feel like doing that that day. It might be to just laze around at home or go to the movies. We might go for a nice dinner when we feel like it even when there is no occasion. He tends to get me a big gift for a whole year and we get each other some little items every now and then for no special occasion. I am perfectly ok with this -- the important thing to us is that we are relaxed and happy and doing what we feel like doing instead of being driven by occasions or dates.

 

[surfgirl]

metro, Happy Anniversary! I was thinking...why not plan a nice romantic dinner for your husband, regardless of whether or not he wants a nice dinner. Do it for you! Expect nothing in return and do it to make YOU happy. Who knows, maybe he''ll get into it and realize how important it is to you...

 

[lyra]

We just "celebrated" our 24th a couple of weeks ago. I think he worked that night, and both my girls worked also. I may have actually sat alone watching tv, I honestly don''t remember. Okay, I got the upgrade diamond a year early, so I''m not complaining, but really, as long as I don''t have to cook (ordering in is fine too!), I''m thrilled. He always buys me a mushy card. I don''t do flowers because of everyone else''s allergies. We just don''t make a big deal out of it. Never have. The last time any sort of big deal event happened was our 15th when I got a nice 5 stone anniversary ring. I guess for us it''s usually just another day because we tend to be laid back easygoing people to begin with. He gets so much stress at work, I think he just enjoys quiet time, even if it''s just staying home.

 

[door knob solitaire]

If you only have a couple of hours...and are low in the alone time...why not forgo the meal and get some alone time

.

Surely your reservation will be better than something shiny's experience.

Grab a picnic basket and cram it full of strawbabies and chocolate...or fruits and cheese and crackers and a loaf of bread, some beverage, a few candles and some slippers. Don't forget an alarm clock. Check in and check out in 2 hours. It is that simple.

Carpe Diem baby. Make you life today...not in another 5 years. Do it now.

DKS...I can't think of another smiley to use...wish I had one that kicks you in the butt!! Cause you need a kick!!

 

[ladypirate]

My parents just had their 30th wedding anniversary in August, and when I asked about it it literally took my mom about 30 seconds to remember which anniversary it was. They say that they don''t celebrate them because it''s not about how long you''ve been together, it''s about enjoying every day that you have with each other.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Happy Anniversary! I hope you have a great date tonight!

 

[door knob solitaire]

LadyPirate...would you please hug your mom for me...and tell her how much her philosophy blessed me.

That is such a wonderful way of looking at marriage.

DKS

 

[metro]

Our anniversary was great!!

Wow, thank you guys for making me feel so much better! All your kind words and advice really had me in a great mood before the day arrived.

Well, as it turned out, my father and step-mother agreed to watch DD for the night. They only watch her maybe 2x a year, and it''s always a big ordeal, but when my father found out that I was going to let my friend watch DD, he offered to let her spend the night. GREAT!

So our morning started out with a little cuddle time - which was nice. Since I sleep in the same bed with DD, it''s nice to spend some alone time, just connecting - and that was a great start to our morning.

DH went to get a hair cut and I went to get a mani/pedi and my hair colored. It was a relaxing morning, w/o any stress which was fantastic for this hard working mom! Before I knew it - 3 hours had passed and DH wasn''t home???? He we got home I went on and on about how worried I was starting to get, when he admitted that he was out looking for a gift.

He said that he really wanted to get me jewerly, but knew that he could just go to the mall for that, so he did what any guy would do - he gave me and ipod. Oh, it was really sweet. He had me close my eyes and he put the little green Nano in my hand "Surprise! I love you!"

I was very surprised! Though I don''t need such a toy, as I already have an ipod shuffle I use for the gym. A Nano for me is overkill. I told him how very much I loved him for the thought and I thought the gift is fantastic, but it''s wasted money since I don''t really have the oppurtunity to really use such things. He understood. So we took it back and went shopping together at a few of my favorite antique shops for something I could enjoy more. He told me I could pick anything I wanted. I didn''t find anything, but I had a great time just holding hands, shoppng around with him. That''s all I wanted and it was a great, GREAT afternoon!

That night we got dressed up to go out for dinner. I slipped into a great little dress I picked-up a few weeks ago, and as soon as I walked out of the bath room, DH''s jaw dropped. He said to me, "You look so hot! All the men are going to be gawking at you tonight! You look amazing! And you''re all mine!"

It''s been a long time since he''s said anything like that to me. It''s been a long time since I actually felt sexy - I always feel so "mom-ish". But I did sexy - and it was WONDERFUL to have my husband drool over me.

We had a great time at dinner at our favorite resturant. Then we went to our favorite sushi spot for cocktails and ending the night with dancing at a night club! We couldn''t keep our hands off one another on the dance floor! Let me tell you, when we got home- FIREWORKS! Just thinking about puts a HUGE grin on my face. We made up for any lost time - and it was like our honeymoon all over again - but better!

Happy Anniversary to me, indeed! It was perfect! And I''m so in love with my husband!

 

[simplysplendid]

Congrats! I am glad it all turned out well and you had a great time!

 

[Gypsy]

Wow, that sounds like a perfect anniversary! I''m so glad it was such a memorable time! Congrats on a wonderful milestone!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I am so glad it was a wonderful day/night. You deserve it!

 

[diamondfan]

I think sometimes life gets in the way of our plans, but I also think we must celebrate while we can. Who knows what comes in the future, so make the most of now. It does not have to mean lots of money invested, just a mind set about the moment being celebrated. I am sure if you explained that to him, he would understand. Not everything is a state occasion, but still, it is nice to pay attention to the milestones in our lives. Happy anniversary!

 

[Skippy123]

Wow Metro; what a lovely anniversary!!! Glad it was wonderful!!!