An interesting turn of events

[blacksand]

It's funny...I've seen so many threads in this forum saying something along the lines of "I've been offered an heirloom ring, should I take it?" and I'll admit I've always read them thinking..."lucky, lucky girls." I did NOT think I would ever be one of them, since my parents are not especially well off and both come from very large families (i.e., it was unlikely that anything would have been passed down to them, when there were so many other siblings). But oddly enough, here I am posting about a potential heirloom of my own!

The funny thing is that I've had my heart kind of set on this Vatche setting for a princess cut in yellow gold. At this point, my boyfriend and I are just waiting until our finances are a bit more in order to get a ring and become officially engaged. We are starting to seriously look at rings and plan to be engaged in a few months, probably before my 30th birthday in February. We are, however, moving in together in December. Two days ago, I called my Catholic parents to tell them that we are moving in together. They adore my boyfriend, but do not believe in living together before marriage, so I wanted to tell them gently, and I expected quite a bit of resistance. I won't lie, I was very nervous about this. Well. Totally not what I expected. While they were not thrilled with the idea of premarital cohabitation, they were not in the least bit angry or upset. They did want to know if we were planning on getting married, to which I replied that we were just saving up for the ring, or we'd be engaged right now. "Oh," says my mom. "I have a diamond you can have."

Wait...what? So she proceeded to tell me that my grandmother gave her a diamond that had originally belonged to my great aunt. It's sitting in the attic collecting dust, apparently. How this happened without my knowledge, I have no idea, since I was there for nearly all of the family meetings after my grandmother died, and I distinctly remembered all the jewelry in the estate was to be sold. But I guess that one was special. And my mom never mentioned it. Anyway, my mom says my grandmother would have loved my boyfriend, and she can think of no better use for the diamond. So. Instead of a fight about moving in with my boyfriend, I got my mom's (and my grandmother's!) blessing, and possibly a diamond. Well okay. The best part is that my mom feels no attachment to the setting and encourages us to get it reset however we like. I also mentioned that I'd really like to see it before we decide, and asked her if she would be upset if we did not choose to accept it. Not at all, she says. So basically, I'm in the perfect situation. I'm being offered a family diamond. If I like it, I take it and reset it. If not, no harm, no foul.

There are a few downsides here. First, we don't know anything about the diamond, and my mom doesn't really know how to describe it. I'm told it's round and at least a carat (or so thinks my mom, but she's just comparing it to her own 1/4 carat). That's all I know. It could be amazing, or it could be a total dud. I guess we'd have to get it appraised, and I'm not sure where to begin with all of that. Second...it's round. Every single setting I had in mind was for a princess cut stone. I'm not opposed to a round at all, but it would mean I'm back to square one for settings if I choose to accept it. I have been drooling over this Vatche Swan for the past hour, though....

Well, first things first: we're having dinner with my parents in two weeks, so we'll see the stone and see what we think. If we like it, I guess we'd want to get an appraisal? I'm not sure what else I'd need to do. Anyone have tips?

 

[Brown.Eyed.Girl]

Lucky girl!

Since you and your mom have an awesome, open relationship (based on you guys talking about this, and what if you don't like the diamond), I would go and take a look at it. If you don't like it, or it's poorly cut, or the RB just doesn't do it for you, would anyone (you or your family) object to you taking it and making it a pendant? So that you'll have that legacy with you but still get the ring you want?

In any case, best of luck deciding!

 

[PrincessNatalie]

No advice but CONGRATS! And we would be happy to help you look for a nice setting to match if its perfect! :*)

 

[blacksand]

Thank you! I hadn't thought about a pendant, but I'll see. Right now I'm thinking that if I don't take the diamond, I'll leave it for my mom. Maybe she'll change her mind and decide to wear it someday, or maybe my brother will get married someday and want to give it to his wife (unlikely...my brother is...well...an interesting character, but you can never say for sure).

I might very well need help with settings. I have an unhealthy addiction to staring at Vatceh designs online, but there doesn't seem to be any place nearby I can go to look at the settings in person, which is, for me, a prerequisite to buying. Might have to make a trip to NYC. Or maybe let go of the Vatche dream and pick something else! But my biggest concern is getting the diamond appraised or graded or whatever the heck it is I'd need to do. This is a brave new world for me!

 

[maebelle]

Very interested in seeing the conclusion of this! Mystery diamonds from attics are always neat

 

[Tuckins1]

Interesting! Sounds like a fun little jewel adventure... Keep us posted!

 

[PavePrincess]

Yay!! Congrats on moving 5 steps closer to engagementhood Blacksand! Having to find a new setting isn't a big deal if you love your grandmother's diamond.. Plus, everyone on here would love to help you find a new **favorite setting** I wish you the best of luck!

 

[blacksand]

Thanks all! I must say it was really surprising. I mean, I'm almost 30, so I didn't expect them to completely flip out about my moving in with my boyfriend, but I did expect some resistence and general disapproval. Instead I got...a diamond? Yeah. Okay!

So we'll see. It could be a total dud of a diamond. My mom really doesn't know, and I'm certainly no expert, either. All I have to go on right now is that the other things I've inherited from my grandmother and great grandmother--the amethyst in my avatar, an ornate gold rosary, and a teeny tiny bear carved in amethyst with tiny ruby eyes--have been stunning and very high quality. If this diamond is anything like those pieces, it will be gorgeous. But it also could be small, included, and poorly cut, for all my mom and I know. I can't wait to see it. I'll try to get some pictures for you all so you can let me know what you think. I've read the articles here on PS, but I still don't really know how to evaluate a diamond. In the meantime, I really need to stop looking at Vatche settings. But I cannot. I can't stop. Now the filigree (in luscious yellow gold) is calling my name. Who needs sidestones, right? I. can't. stop. looking.

 

[Anonymous]

That's awesome, and very nice of your mother! I think that the best way to approach the situation is to not worry about what it's stats are. Look at it, see if you love it. If you do, great! If you want to get it insured, you'll need an appraisal. Other than that, since you don't have to worry about being ripped off financially AND there's definitely sentimental value to the diamond, I just wouldn't worry about it. If you love it, it doesn't matter.

Good luck, can't wait to hear about it!

 

[Jessie702]

o wow....congrats black. Keep us udated on the diamond. I like family diamonds and jewerly, even if it isn the best, but than again i love anitque's. Also, i would say look at like you would a dimaond in a store and see if you could get a jeweler look at and give yous ome stats.

 

[blacksand]

Thanks tammy and Jessie! Tammy, I think you're right...I'm going to try to forget about specs and just appreciate the diamond for what it is. If I like the look of it, that plus the sentimental value is more than enough. If other people find flaws in it, who cares, as long as I don't see them. Basically, if I think it's pretty, I think I'll accept it. And I'll have a piece of my family with me all the time. What could be better?

Unrelatedly, PS is EVILLLLLLLL. Because of you, PS, I have now discovered Van Craeynest settings, and I will never be able to look at anything the same way ever again. Oh. My. God. These settings are beautiful. I don't know if I'll ever be able to afford them, but now I have to try!

 

[monarch64]

Blacksand, so happy to hear that your families are in acceptance of your living arrangement, and that you've been offered a family diamond! What a relief that must be on both counts. I wouldn't worry about the stats either, if I were you...never look a gift horse in the mouth, as they say. If at some point your SO decides, or you decide together, to replace that stone with your own diamond you choose together, then great. If not...you have a lot of sentimentality and an actual heirloom that you can still wear proudly.

You can definitely make an appointment at a jeweler of your choice to have the stone appraised. A phone call first will let you know what to expect as far as pricing, but I would say an appraisal might run you somewhere in the neighborhood (loosely) of $75, give or take $25 or so. If the stone is already set, you might also want the jeweler to look at the setting and identify any work that needs to be done i.e. prongs re-tipped, etc. If you would like to have it re-set, you might ask how much they charge to take the stone out of the setting and re-mount into a setting with whatever number of prongs you might like. Just a few thoughts off the top of my head.

This is really great news!!!

 

[texaskj]

Lucky, lucky you. I second the pendant idea, or find a matching stone and have earrings made. Or maybe find a match and use it as a side stone for a princess. If it's little bitty, have it set in your gallery or on the inside of one of your bands. Find a way to show it some love.

 

[vintagelover229]

What exciting news! I saw your post and thought I'd offer an idea (that I don't know will work or not, but you can try!) about an etsy seller that does some AMAZING engraving work and may be able to help you out with something similar. Here is his shop. I'd email him a photo of what your loving and ask him if what he can do for you. You might not be able to get the pierced ones (the one you posted is more engraved than pierced from what I can tell) and he does some amazing work. I hope this helps! I've attached a picture of his work as well.

http://www.etsy.com/shop/BandScapes?ref=seller_info#

 

[elrohwen]

You're very lucky! Congrats!

I was in a similar position to you - DH's family had a stone that was mine for the resetting (it was in a man's ring, so clearly it needed to be reset). I knew nothing about it and it took some time to get comfortable with it and decide if I liked it over not. It's not easy to just look at a stone, especially an older one, and know if it's "good" or not if you don't have experience (which I didn't). Every store you go into will tell you that it's a great stone, obviously.

I would definitely get it appraised and hopefully the appraiser can give you an idea of how well it's cut. I would take personal opinion over looking at the stats though - if it is an OEC or something, it can be a beautifully cut stone even with fair symmetry, or fair polish, or whatever. Things that would knock down a modern RB don't mean as much on an OEC. Also, try to look past inclusions that the appraiser can find if they don't bother you. It can be disappointing to find that there is a chip, or a black spec, but look at the stone objectively and decide if it bothers you, if you were wearing it. I guess what I'm saying is take a step back and look at the stone for what it is - don't put full stock into the appraisal. My stone appraises horribly - giant chip, poor symmetry and polish, it's quite shallow, etc but it's a beautifully cut stone and has a gorgeous faceting pattern which gives it great light return - that's what I really see every day. Old cuts don't follow the rules. And remember you can always get it recut (I'm not, because recutting does have some risks, so if it is a sentimental family stone you may not want to go that route).

Now to the setting. I actually have a setting very similar to the one you posted, though mine was custom and not made by Vatche. I don't see any reason why you can't get a setting exactly like that for a round stone - I know Vatche even makes them. It would still be a gorgeous ring with a round if that's the setting that really draws you in. You could switch to round side stones - I actually had mine beadset, which makes it look a little more antique, but otherwise it looks the same.

Good luck with your decision and I hope you post pictures when you get to see it!

 

[blacksand]

Monarch, you have no idea what a relief it is. Honestly, my parents are good people, so i knew they weren't going to disown me or anything, and I'm nearly 30, so they weren't going to tell me what I could or couldn't do. But it just breaks my heart to upset them, so I was really worried. And then instead of getting upset, they're giving me a diamond. I wish every awkward conversation ended this way! And thank you so much for the price estimates for an appraisal. That's great info.

Elrohwen, thank you. The more I think about it, the more I feel the same way. Who cares how it appraises if I like the way it looks? Especially if imperfections aren't easily visible, chances are I'm not going to notice them on a day to day basis. I don't own a loupe. I'm okay with not owning a loupe. I just want to see a pretty sparkly thing on my hand and think of my boyfriend, my parents and my grandmother who made it all possible. I am thinking that unless this diamond is truly hideous, I am going to accept it. I love the idea more and more each day.

As for the setting, I kept flipflopping until I found this:


(Photo courtesy of badgerskunk)

And this is IT for me. I can't get it out of my head. I'm in love. We're waiting until we have the diamond, but if we do decide to go with the heirloom diamond, we can splurge a tiny bit on the setting. I haven't requested a quote yet because I need to make a decision on the diamond first, but based on preliminary recon, it should probably be within our budget. Fingers crossed.

redrose, I love the engraving on that ring! I couldn't find anything with a thin band and such delicate engraving, but I did find this piece of awesomeness. I love Tubby!

 

[vintagelover229]

blacksand:
He changed to a new shop, but under quiltedpony he has 2mm engraved bands. I've gotten quotes from him (which are really reasonable) and he's been honest with what he can/can't do. I'd shoot him and email, attach the picture, and ask if he can make anything like this happen with the same quality. You may be surprised, instead of 5k for the set it may be less than 2k. I love their pieces to, but alas my ring (vintage and a great deal) has a beautiful setting and when we agreed to get it, I said that it's my forever ring. So, no resets or changes for me! I'll live though you!

 

[blacksand]

Tonight was the night we had dinner with my parents. And I am happy to say...I think I found my stone. My mom pulled it out of a ziplock bag, of all things, and I expected it would be old and dingy. But even as she reached over to hand it to me, the stone caught a glint of light from a nearby table lamp, and...wow. Amazing sparkle. Even as I type, I am enjoying a little light show. I can see flashes of red, green, and violet. I've really never owned a diamond before, and have only seen friends' engagement rings from a distance (and photos on Pricescope, of course), so I know I sound like a dork, but I've just never seen anything like it before! It is bigger than I expected by far. I have no idea how big, but I'm used to seeing my mom's .25 ct ring, so it looks like a monster to me. I don't have a loupe and I'm no expert, but I can't really find any inclusions, so I figure it's at least eye clean (or I'm blind). I think it may be an Old European cut, because it has a pretty small table and an open culet, but it doesn't have a particularly high crown or deep pavilion, so I'm not really sure. I'm really a total novice when it comes to these things, but I will say this: to my eye, it is beautiful. And even if it isn't as nice as I think it is, it is an absolute family treasure. I love it.

It's dark and my camera needs recharging, but I do have a few terrible cell phone pics to share for now. Excuse my nasty hands. I'll try to get some better shots in natural light tomorrow.

 

[kagordo4]

bling bling is right : )

I'm a diamond novice too and I think it is quite sizable and beautiful!

 

[PrincessNatalie]

Awww blacksand, I am super happy for you! What an amazing thing to happen! It looks HUGE to me too! Congratulations!!!

 

[blacksand]

bling bling is right : )

Ha! The funny thing is it's meant to be Bing Bing, not bling bling. Bing Bing was what we called my grandmother. Long story there, but suffice it to say she was quite the character! I remember when the expression "bling bling" came into fashion, she thought it was just the greatest thing ever. She bought this pair of hot pink sweatpants with "bling bling" appliqued right across the butt, the kind that are mostly worn by teenage girls, and she proudly wore them all around town. Yep, that was my grandmother.

 

[kagordo4]

Oh crap. Sorry it's 1:23am in Florida and I'm reading about the inner ear. : ) Sorry about that. I feel like a butt now.

Still awesome : P

Edited because I love the sweat pants story.

 

[Sizzle]

Tonight was the night we had dinner with my parents. And I am happy to say...I think I found my stone. My mom pulled it out of a ziplock bag, of all things, and I expected it would be old and dingy. But even as she reached over to hand it to me, the stone caught a glint of light from a nearby table lamp, and...wow. Amazing sparkle. Even as I type, I am enjoying a little light show. I can see flashes of red, green, and violet. I've really never owned a diamond before, and have only seen friends' engagement rings from a distance (and photos on Pricescope, of course), so I know I sound like a dork, but I've just never seen anything like it before! It is bigger than I expected by far. I have no idea how big, but I'm used to seeing my mom's .25 ct ring, so it looks like a monster to me. I don't have a loupe and I'm no expert, but I can't really find any inclusions, so I figure it's at least eye clean (or I'm blind). I think it may be an Old European cut, because it has a pretty small table and an open culet, but it doesn't have a particularly high crown or deep pavilion, so I'm not really sure. I'm really a total novice when it comes to these things, but I will say this: to my eye, it is beautiful. And even if it isn't as nice as I think it is, it is an absolute family treasure. I love it.

It's dark and my camera needs recharging, but I do have a few terrible cell phone pics to share for now. Excuse my nasty hands. I'll try to get some better shots in natural light tomorrow.

Wow, some rock! woo hoo! Since its an heirloom and you think it's beautiful, don't get too hung up on the numbers. Now the fun begins!

 

[SB621]

oh my goodness- that is awsome that you found your diamond- now you can invest and possible get your dream setting!!! that diamond looks HUGE on your finger! congrats!

 

[OUpearlgirl]

Yay! The stone looks beautiful, and is a great size on your finger! Congrats.

 

[blacksand]

Thank you all for your comments! Just posting a few more pictures now that my camera is functional. Still not great, but getting better!

Also posted in Timeless Classics so hopefully someone can tell me more about the cut. I love it no matter what it is, though!

 

[Glitz]

Blacksand your diamond is amazing

I'm sooo happy for you! I'm not huge on diamond reports, I think as long as the stone looks eye-clean to you thats all that should matter (and it really does look eye-clean and white to me). What type of setting do you have in mind?

PS> your grandma sounds like an awesome lady with her bling bling pants! I love it lol!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Oh my goodness! That looks like a gorgeous OEC!!! If I were your Mom, I'd be wearing that diamond myself! Haha! So you are VERY lucky indeed to get it. And wow, you couldn't pick a better setting for it than a Van Craeynest!!!!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Yes, it looks like an OEC to me as well. And A DIRTY one at that , I can see scunge on the pavilion in some photos, so if it looks good now wait until it is all cleaned up! It will look awesome. What size finger are you? I bet that is at least a 7mm diameter.

 

[blacksand]

Yeah…I just brought it home late last night, so I haven’t had a chance to clean it up just yet! I don’t think it has been worn in a very long time, so I doubt it’s been cleaned, either. Is dish soap and a toothbrush the recommended regimen?

And diamondseeker, yes, that is exactly what I said! But my mom doesn’t even wear her own rings anymore. She works with young kids, so there’s lots of play-dough and finger paint, and she doesn’t go out much, so she’s just never worn it. As I was leaving, she did say something about how nice it is to keep it in the family, and how maybe I could pass it on to my own daughter someday. My response? Sure…she can have it when I’m dead!