Ambiguous anniversary?

[Antique Chic]

Hi everyone!
I guess I''m a LIW; not sure if I should get ''on the list''. Is there a literal list or is that metaphorical?

Here''s my situation: my BF is 47, divorced with 2 kids, I''m 32, never married (but was engaged for a long time) with 1 child. Neither of is in in a hurry to get married but hopefully we will be engaged in another year or so. We have to sell 2 houses, buy a 3rd, and move somewhere in between. Plus blending 3 pre-teens should be interesting.

Here''s my question: we started dating almost immediately after we met just over 4 yrs ago when he was separated from his now ex. After a few months I decided I needed to step back and just support him as a friend through the divorce and ended up dating someone else. That lasted 18 mos (I didn''t end it sooner because I was afraid my son was going to be very upset so I waited for school to let out). We became good friends during this time and as soon as we broke up I started dating my BF again in May or June of ''07. Since things have kind of evolved naturally, we don''t have a particular anniversary that we celebrate, which for some odd reason hasn''t been a big deal (normally I''m VERY sentimental with that kind of thing), but I never know what to tell people when they ask how long we''ve been dating! Plus since we are now looking forward to a long life together, I would like to have an actual anniversary to celebrate. Maybe he would propose on that date or we would get married on that date. Should I use the day we met? Pick a date from May/June ''07? He doesn''t really care, so I guess I can pick a date and it''s official. lol

Anyone else have any experience with a relationship that evolved out of a friendship or on-again off-again relationships? What date do you use?
Thanks

 

[TooPatient]

We don''t really celebrate any anniversary. I would like to but B isn''t too sentimental. Life has been too busy to really do anything anyway.

The date I use is the day my grandmother died. We were friends before that and started to get closer the last few weeks she was alive. When she died, we started to really see each other seriously.

Kind of a mixed day for me. I miss my grandmother but I am very happy to be with B.

 

[vc10um]

I''d pick something from May/June 07, if you feel like you need a date. Definitely not the day you met, since you haven''t been together that whole time. Maybe May 6? Cuz then you can say it was 05-06-07???

In all seriousness, though, is there a date you can remember back after you started dating again that meant something to you? The first kiss? A particularly romantic evening? If you can pinpoint a date like that, then I''d definitely use that as your anniversary...that way it has some meaning for you and isn''t just a randome date.

 

[vc10um]

PS: There IS a list...it''s one of the "sticky" threads up at the top...

 

[setell]

Does a date really matter? I was friends with my FI for over a year before we started dating. One day we just decided to date vs remain as friends since we told each other we liked each other romantically way before we "officially" started dating. If you really want a date how about the day he said he loved you? Or the date you guys decided to go steady? Or the day that is super special to you that will be engraved in your brain.

 

[radiantquest]

Well that depends. Chances are that you wont get married on the date you pick. Besides it is just a picked date.

My husband and I started dating on August 8th. That was our anniversary until we got married.

We got married on September 12th. That is the anniversary that we celebrate now.

My husband doesn''t remember the dating anniversary anyway. He did until we got married then he forgot that one and remembered the marriage anniversary.

To me, it really wouldn''t feel like a real anniversary unless I knew the exact real date. You have gone this long without knowing and not celebrating it. Just wait until you are married and then celebrate that.

 

[Antique Chic]

Thanks for your input everyone!

I think the date that stands out in my mind is the first time we got together after I got back from Costa Rica and he from China. We exchanged gifts and that was really when we started dating again. We actually took a picture that day, so I can find it and see what date it was taken on.